The Financial Impact of Remarriage

A divorce case does not necessarily end when the judge signs the divorce decree. Often one party is ordered to pay maintenance, also known as alimony, to the other party. If there are minor children then child support will usually be ordered. As circumstances change it is often necessary for one of the parties to ask the court to modify its previous orders regarding the amount or duration of payments.

A common situation has the former husband paying maintenance, child support or both. Questions arise when one of the parties later marries or begins living with a new partner. This article will address common concerns regarding how this change of circumstances affects the payment of child support and/or maintenance.

1. If my ex-wife gets remarried does it impact my child support?

In most cases remarriage will not have any impact on child support. The new husband is not legally responsible for the children. The children are the responsibility of their parents. The court will base child support on the incomes of the parents. This often raises problems when the children’s mother marries a new husband who is wealthy. The father may have a tight budget and paying child support is a financial hardship. Meanwhile, the ex-wife and children are living an affluent life. Because the children are well taken care of by the mother and step-father the father feels his support is not necessary, at least not at the level he has been paying. The court will not usually be persuaded to reduce child support. The children remain the responsibility of their parents. The court cannot force the step-father to provide for the children and will not take his income into account. In extremely rare cases a court might grant the father a reduction from his child support if the parties’ financial conditions suggest it is in the best interest of the child or children. (For example, if the mother and step-father live rent and mortgage free in an inherited property). The burden for this type of adjustment is very high and the reduction will not usually be granted. The situation changes dramatically if the mother’s new husband adopts the minor children. In this scenario the step-father becomes a legal father to the children and is now required to provide for them. The natural father is no longer responsible for ongoing support of the children. There are two things to keep in mind about adoption. First, the adoptive father will be responsible for future support but the biological father will be responsible for any arrears which accumulated prior to the adoption. Second, and more importantly, if the children are adopted the biological father loses his legal standing and is no longer entitled to parenting time with the children.

2. If I get remarried will it impact my child support obligation?

The same rules discussed above apply when the father gets remarried. The step-mother’s income is not counted when determining child support, only the income of the parents. Furthermore, the father is not legally obligated to support his step-children, if there are any. His income will not impact the child support calculations in his new wife’s case either. Child support may be impacted if the father has another child with his new wife. This is a factor which the court should take into account when reviewing the father’s child support obligation. Now his income has to support hi current family as well as his children from the prior marriage. However, the reduction available will not be proportionate to the increase in family size. For example, if the father is paying child support for one child from a prior marriage then has a second child with his new wife, the reduction in his child support will be far less than fifty percent. Even though his older child is now only one-half of the total number of children, the support figure will be modify only slightly.

3. If my ex-wife gets remarried, or moves in with a new partner, do I still have to pay maintenance?

The answer to this question depends to a great degree upon the wording of your divorce orders. In many cases the ex-wife’s remarriage will terminate her prior husband’s obligation to pay maintenance. However, this is not always true. Maintenance is tax deductible to the paying party if certain requirements are met. One of the requirements is the maintenance must end upon the occurrence of at least one of a list of conditions. The listed conditions include death of either party, remarriage of the recipient or cohabitation by the recipient with another adult in a marriage-like relationship. The important fact to remember is the tax code requires at least one of the conditions to apply, not all of them. It is possible to draft a maintenance order which terminates only upon the death of either party and does not address re-marriage or cohabitation. T

his is why it is so important to look at the specific language in your divorce orders. Usually remarriage is listed as a terminating condition, but it does not have to be included. Co-habitation is often a trickier issue. It is relatively easy to prove a party has remarried. A search of public records or wedding announcements in the local paper may be enough to prove the point. There are not generally any public records of parties living together, however. It can be very difficult to prove cohabitation. If the two partners each maintain a separate address, even if one address sits unused, it may be evidence they are not cohabitating. At least one court has found the payment of rent by one of the involved parties to the other is evidence they are not cohabitating. The result is cohabitation theoretically will terminate maintenance in most cases, but the practical application is much harder.

4. If I get remarried do I still have to pay maintenance?

Unless you are marrying the woman to whom you owe the maintenance, the answer is yes. Even though you may be incurring more financial responsibilities by starting a new household you do not receive a break from your maintenance obligation for getting remarried. Each of the scenarios discussed above is meant to be illustrative. The facts of each case, and the law of the jurisdiction, are paramount considerations in modification cases. If you have questions about how the changes in your life will impact your maintenance or child support payments you should speak with a qualified domestic relations attorney in your area.

End of Content Icon

61 comments on “The Financial Impact of Remarriage

    I think it’s disgusting how men get royaly screwed when it comes to child support, they act like she was raped and didn’t intend on having a child and didn’t know the costs and consequences involved, spread your legs your gonna have to pay for a kid, but taking a man for more than he has is disgusting, be fair you don’t want him around your child he shouldn’t have to pay more than he can afford for that child, the courts are idiotic too, if she screwing a new meal ticket that meal ticket should pay for what’s around him…….. this coming from a woman…..

    Completely agree. I was totally screwed over, even more so, because I have a child with special needs. I’m broke. Living in a small condo. She is sitting pretty in the 3100 square foot house we bought just 3 months before she divorced me. Its absolutely discusting!!!

    I think it’s disgusting that any man would complain about paying child support. Is there somewhere better your money should go than to your children ?

    Im a great father, i have my kids half the time. Their moms boyfriend pulled a gun on me because he doesn’t like me, she left me. I take great care of my kids, she’s a dead beat and because I’m doing well for me , my children, new wife and baby my ex wants child support. She nev3wanted to work when we were married now she still expects a free ride. Fathers should provide for their children, not their dead beat mothers.

    Sure if the money goes to provide for children that’s great. But if the mother is already set up with a new hubby or boyfriend, that money is just going to support her lifestyle. You made a bad decision WITH the father. Move on already, and let him start over too. I’m a woman who is sick of seeing these mothers who are basically the new “noble savage”. Not at all Noble, but definitely Savage.

    I agree here. You stuck your willy in her and didn’t pull out. Pay your damn dues and be a man. So be it, you were dumb enough to commit to buying a 310o Sq ft house. I’m guessing everything was just peaches and cream at that point. I’m dealing with a child support issue. But you two disgust me. Because she finds a man that could take better care of her and your child you feel you shouldn’t have to pay. That says a lot about what kind of worthless father you are. 2 make the baby, 2 are responsible so take care of your responsibility. I do not agree with the equation of how they determine the cost. But damn. I will always support my children. I can’t believe you two could even post that lame statements. You should be ashamed of yourselfs, or I should just be ashamed of the lazy America where people do not need to be held responsible any longer. Get a vasectomy if all your gonna do is blame everyone and not take o n your God giving responsibility. Chumps

    You just don’t get it! “Paying child support” is NOT the same thing as “money going to your children.” There is little that is more disgusting than my children’s support money being squandered by their deadbeat mom. (Paying her attorney’s fees because she refuses to work is one of those more disgusting things.)
    If only the “child support” money had gone to my children. Instead, it went to their deadbeat mom to whom I paid a whopping sum including maintenance and child support. The children repeatedly asked me to buy them clothes and other necessities because their custodial parent (the DEADBEAT MOM) would not do so.
    If you don’t recognize that there are deadbeat moms, then you are either naïve or willfully ignorant – much like the system.

    What ??? Just B/C a man Doesn’t Think he is paying the Fair amount of child support does not mean he is a bad or non-loving father. We are all here to find out our rights and with all this Woman should be paid the same as a man B.S. you would think they would also want to go ahead and raise their children with Less Money from the Biological father…
    Maybe like all the other men i see commenting Im Jaded.

    I would like to write here my own experience. I am an Asian indian woman. My husband was divorced ( Of course his ex wife does not have any kids and he was not paying her support as she was working ). I have been cheated by his and his family people’s shower of love on me prior to marriage. The moment I entered into wed lock all love gone and only their control and authority started. They forced me to have kids , After 2 kids I did not want to have any more kids….I accidentally conceived and I went through it, only on the promise that he would allow my sister to adopt the child( my sister is childless). After the birth he broke his promise and forced me to keep the 3rd kid. After having 3 kids his mother and his siblings were looting his money, he does not co operate with me in maintaining the family, planning for family . Worse still he does not sleep with me at the telling of his mother. I have been treated like a servant maid doing all chores of house and taking care of kids. Finally I kicked him out of my life and of course awarded child and spousal support by court. Even though I am highly qualified and was working in India i could not work after marriage b’cas I had to do all chores and take care of kids. I lost all precious years of making my career. Now I live in bayarea paying high rent. I want to move to other state , he does not allow me, I have to fight in courts to get move out. He threatens me that he would quit job so that he does not need to pay support. He never loved me romantically , I lost all my youth in a dirty marriage. Now even though I am trying no man is willing to marry me because i have 3 kids. So I lost all my life…..No guarantee whether I will get another man. I am suffering emotionally , hating my life ….
    Some one said a woman feels as if she is raped and have kids. No one understands how much a woman struggles to carry child, give birth and raise them. All her time she devoted to raise her children, she could not do job while a man concentrated in his career and earned. Had she not had children she would also have concentrated in job and career. So having children bacame a sin, she has to suffer lifelong loneliness if other man does not accept her. You are only seeing man’s side and not woman

    And this is why arranged marriages are bull crap. Sad that this happend. How old were you and how old was he when you to were arranged to be married? Had to be arranged right?

    It is hard situation, be strong, and always think that there are many people did not have the chance to have kids, but you got these lovely angels. Maybe you only met this man to get these kids, and you continue your life with them to make your life full of joy. always imagine tomorrow when your kids grow up and become stronger, they will take care of you, not their father. You might meet another man, and maybe not, but who care if you have your kids in your hug. they are the real joy of life. Be strong and have faith in yourself and your skills

    I agree, my ex wife is a dead beat living with her parents….. She’s 30 years old with three kids. I have fifty fifty custody and because i work hard and continue to climb corporate ladder she’s entitled to child support!? I remarried and have a baby at home. This is an injustice and Arizona doesn’t give a crap. No justice in the desert.

    I was a single mother of 3 kids, had my tubes tied . I am currently pregnant with my 4th. I got engaged and my bd wanted a child. We paid for my tubes to be untied 3 years later and when I was 10 weeks pregnant, he changed his mind and call ed the wEddington off.. Moved out the state, and has done nothing for this baby at all. So to take him to court for half of my medical expenses as well as half of what I have had to purchase for the baby is something I shouldn’t have to do. He begged me for this baby, I said no at 1st.
    I’m a great mom and to be honest child support doesn’t cover shit. People think children are cheap. No one considers school uniforms, shoes, toys, dance classes, field trips, paying for school supplies, taking kids to movies, skating, bowling. No one things about how fast they grow out of everything. Not to mention throwing them birthday parties, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts. Child support checks don’t get any bigger during those times of the year.
    The child support check doesn’t cover shit, true mothers still have to extra hard for what these babies really deserve!

    The idea in our country that everyone is entitled to have tons of unnecessary crap to be happy is absurd, and if we believe that then we become enslaved by all the high priced crap that we believe our kids need. Try to be your own woman, buy things at consignment and throw birthday parties at home with potluck style food. Kids are not expensive if you raise them with love and attention instead of consumer greed. I raised two kids on minimum wage with only my income. They are happy, took music and dance lessons, and attended STEM programs. Everyone comments on how my children are the most caring and well-rounded kids. Sure I had to suck it up and ask for scholarships. But this money was given by people who wanted to help, not by a guy who is just trying to make it himself. We made a bad decision together. I’ve moved on.

    I want to thank you for your comment ,I was inspired by your heart your love for your children are obvious. You are an inspiration I thought at a time I wasn’t good enough for my kids because I didn’t make a lot of money, and my kids are used to getting whatever they want from dad. I have all the love for my kids and I pray they see that when they are older. You can’t put a price on a mother’s love

    It really is sad that family’s just don’t work out now days. If you were married , then as it’s stated it’s a LIFELONG TILL DEATH DO YOU PART COMMITMENT. But the value of that was lost as well. If people actually waited to get married to realize who they were marrYing then divorce and the Half of the issues on here wouldn’t be issues. Marriage holds no bond any longer. The commitment part is long lost and 95% of marriage s end in divorce now days. Hence why I never have or never will marry. What marriage means was lost a long time ago. There is no loyalty, commitment, monogamy or dedication any longer. So save your self the tears and failure. Just don’t get married. And if you are persuaded to have a baby. Well then you need to figure that shit out instead of complaining about it. I mean seriously. This is now 4 kids your collecting support for. Wow. How many dad’s are involved??

    Marriage has always been based on chattel and goods. It remains so. Statutes on the books were outdated hundreds of years ago, and yet, they remain. One of the problems is the tremendous cultural pressure to marry or live together, and reproduce. Going solo, no matter how many solid friends, associates, even relatives, continues to be perceived as aberrant. It is very, very hard to escape this, but escape is needed.

    I agree. My Fiance’s ex-wife is off living the high life. Makes more money than him, lives with a super wealthy guy, AND has her rich parents living with her. My fiance can’t even take his kids to a local water park let alone on vacation bc she takes so much money from him. Every time we see the kids their underwear are old, too tight and streaked with feces, the younger one told us she was wearing her sister’s old underwear. Their clothes are rags. He gives her $500 a month and it’s obviously not going to the kids. I wish there was a way to protect that money. The worst part is the divorce is her fault bc she was a dirty slut cheating on him with like 10 different men. I almost feel like those aren’t even his kids but I don’t want to cause an upset.

    Sorry, but I strongly disagree and the “rape” comment is highly offensive. Women can be in the same boat, should the father have custody. My ex is a dead beat, not realizing he still has a commitment to the child’s basic necessities! Let’s not make this about one parent or the other – child support is meant to keep the child fed, all necessities can be maintained – BOTTOM LINE. To make this a case of exes alone, is pathetic. And frankly, all comments are forgetting the most important thing – THE NEEDS OF THE CHILD AND NOT ONE PINNED AGAINST THE OTHER – PERIOD! I would LOVE to hear an argument, a VALID argument, when the cost of groceries increase with each year, clothing, etc. for the growing child or children.

    Its gross how women want to drain their ex. Ughh I’m married to such a awesome man and his dirty kids mom always looking to f*** with him I’m a woman with 4 kids n never would I make their dad miserable. We grown lets go half wtf this world. How women now days want to sit on their ass waiting for child support check to survive

    Hey anyone who can help, my ex is getting remarried, she is asking for more child support knowing the more I give I won’t have an apt to have a relationship with my kids and my job doesn’t wanna give me time off to go to court and I’ll lose my job and be held in comtempt please help she doesn’t deserve the money I pay for my kids, her fiancé yells at them they are scared and wanna live with me

    Not sure if you’ll ever see this or if the situation got resolved by now but I would look into the custody laws in your state. My fiance found out his kids can be any age to choose where they want to live the judge just has to say they are competent enough to make the choice. The problem for us is his kids are educated in the state of Florida and they come across as a little slow.

    @peter going back to court for modification is a scary and costly process. First things first keep track of everything; converstaions, times you call and she doesn’t let you speak to them, extra days you take when she asks, extra curricular sctivites you do ect. Meanwhile look for s different job, if you want to be a family man you need to make the sacrifices and a job that is flexible. When you go to court don’t go to tear her down that doesn’t help anyone you just go in there and fight for your parental rights. The courts are coming around in fairness, I’m a father that just went back to court for custody this past year after being divorced for two years. Originally she was the primary caretaker and I had them roughly 12 days a month just a little 50/50 even so I had to pay her 1200 a month for our two kids in child support and still provide all the same necessities she did at my home clothes, food, fun ect. I never complained and I never missed a payment, at every opportunity to have extra time I immediatley said yes be it becusse she was sick or just wanted to go out with her friends or new boyfriends. It averaged out over two years that I actually had them more than she did, that coupled with her poor judgement of dating a guy that was abusive and attempting to relocate with them 10 states away while I was on a short deployment turned the tables and I was awarded primary custody with her given only 8 days a month visitation and having to pay 600 a month in child support…that was six months ago she has yet to pay a dollar, she did move across the country and is getting married to that fella that blackened her face and broke her arm and we are set for round two of court hearings because she feels entitled to have them all summer as her “visitation” so the point of the story is stay humble do the best you can cover your ass and wait for the opportunity to present itself and you too my friend can turn the tables. Good luck and keep that head up!

    “. The court cannot force the step-father to provide for the children and will not take his income into account. ”

    No, the court is a fraud with allowing child support to continue when the ex spouse remarries. The married couple are getting a tax free income stream from the ex-husband who’s forced to continue to pay child support (or go to jail), when the child is reasonably now taken care of by the step-dad.


    Why would a father want to stop supporting his kids regardless of the Mother’s status. You have kids, you don’t get to decide how much support they deserve. I know fathers that willingly put every extra dime towards their kids, yet I have an ex who won’t pay for a 10 dollar field trip.

    In my experience, it isn’t that they don’t want to support the children but the mother makes it extremely, irrationally difficult. I have an SO with 3 kids from a previous partner and they’ve been separated for 15 years. We don’t live in the States so child support laws aren’t the same. My SO used to pay child support, but stopped after his ex repeatedly denied him from seeing his children, and hid one of his sons from him for 3 years when he entered a new relationship. I have spoken to this woman personally and have asked her to put aside her anger at my SO and let him see his kids, but she has been rude, irrational and verbally violent. This woman cheated on my SO a number of times by the way, and that’s why he left. We’ve chosen to cut her off from our lives because she’s given us nothing but heavy hearts. So in this case, the father has all my sympathy. Some single mothers are just downright bitter and it isn’t worth the headache trying to reason with hate-filled people.

    Seriously, Rabbit. Your comments are disingenuous. Idiotic, even. What you did not say is that the DEADBEAT MOM doesn’t get to decide how much support the children will actually receive. Oh – except that she can decide because the “child support” is paid to the MOM, not to the children!!! She controls it!!! And she is not accountable in any regard.
    You did not state the specifics of your case – who pays child support, etc. Based on your comments, I assume it’s the dad. So, wouldn’t the $10 field trip fee be funded out of the “child support” moneys?
    You may have no idea how difficult it is for the RESPONSIBLE DAD to make ends meet – having to pay maintenance and child support, and not being able to claim a tax deduction for the children (whom his “child support” payments ostensibly support) – on top of providing for his own household. AND – on top of that – buying necessities such as clothing and personal care supplies for his children because the DEADBEAT MOM won’t.
    Frankly, making ends meet isn’t even the real issue: the problem is that the money paid for child support GOES TO THE DEADBEAT MOM! The “child support” money that I paid should have bought clothing and such for my children. But their DEADBEAT MOM used it for her own benefit. So – yes, I have a problem paying “child support” to a DEADBEAT MOM.

    The best thing is to take care of the children the next is 50/50 custody the reality is it might not be in your favor to choose a option is to not take on a family life are make it work and move on to better the new one

    I just read this article and am recently going through a divorce myself. Its more than upsetting how the”system” treats men. So bias, then you have “some” not all, who knows how to work the system to their advantage and drain men of their hard earned money. It frustrates me to no end. I would love to get a child support reform legislation in process for this injustice to men. Granted, there are men out there that need to step up to the plate and provide for there own regardless of ex. Children are unfortunately in the middle of this war, and don’t choose to be. It’s a very sad reality.

    Oh! You guys should meet my husband’s ex-wife! She’s Asian, can speak decent english but doesnt want to work! And she even has the nerve to ask for additional money from my husband.. The thing is, the divorce judgement says “NO MAINTENANCE” but my husband has to pay the child support.. last year of June, she asked for an increase of $100 because the baby is drinking too much milk! (child is only 1 yr old and support is $189 per week) but the judge dismiss the case.. now.. she;s doing it again! we received a summon because she needs $100 increase! not even a year!!!

    That is all nothing agains the mother of my stepdaughter. She has now 6 kids from different fathers, my stepdaughter is the oldest one, she is getting 25 % of my husband gross income, but studies say parents only invest 16 % of the gross income to raise a child. why does he has to pay then 9 % more? And nobody here needs to think thats all he has to pay, the mother doesnt want to spend a penny of the child support on the child. The only thing she is buying is food with the food stamps she is getting. She doesnt buy any clothes, shoes, school supplies, pay for haircuts or even want to pay the gas money to bring the child to a doctor. If my husband doesnt pay for anything else the child just doesnt have any school supplies or fitting shoes and clothes. We had that alle before when my husband said for that he is paying every month child support. She let the girl running aroung with to short and to tight clothes and shpoes for almost a half year, but in these time she was able to make party at least 4 times, buy herself a new car and got every 4 weeks her nails done. Just 2 weeks ago she asked for a raise. For what she needs a raise? She doesnt even pay anything…

    I’m a divorced single dad of two little girls. Prior to the divorce my wife convinced me to move to a depressed area. She cheated, we divorced, and she’s remarried now. My concern is with the LAWS. The formula used to calculate “child support” isn’t for “child support” at all. It’s to maintain an “Equal Standard of Living” at both parents homes! What is severely overlooked is that the money paid by most fathers (and in some cases moms) isn’t required to care for the kids it’s required to maintain a living standard for the other parent who makes less. It’s all well and good until their situations change (marriage or whatever) and the Standard of Living at one residence improves dramatically. My ex married a Doctor. I don’t mind paying support to ensure my kids are taken care of, but it’s NOT my responsibility to support my ex wife … it’s why i divorced her. Her new husband has taken that responsibility. Her income should go to supporting her kids when they’re with her and if she’s strapped … guess what? Step up new husband and take care of your wife. Instead, they continue to go on vacations, buy toys, boats, cabins, new cars … while I’m broke, had to sell my home, downsize my living conditions, live paycheck to paycheck so I can write her a check every month. Now I’m out of a job because the are I live in is extremely recessed and I have to make a choice to move so I can make my payment and lose 50% custody of my children, or stay here to be in my children lives but be so broke I can’t hardly support them when their with me. Someone explain to me have any Judge in their right mind can see that situation as “the best thing for the kids”?? The laws are BS, they screw over people, and they are not administered in a fair and balanced way. I really needs to change.

    Somebody please help. I am getting married to my fiance. We already ha 2 young kids. He has a 9 yearold boy with a previous woman, but we’re never married. He pays over 1000 in child support. His ex has remarried and her new husband makes good money, and are living a luxury life. We on the other hand are always on a tight income . I am currently looking for a job, because there is never left over money to put my kids in any activities. As soon as we get married, will that child support go down or no.

    Fight for your kids, go to social services and talk to a caseworker , tell them what your kids r telling u its worth an investigation to really see what’s going on , don’t give up , and ifs she is getting married,what do she need more money for, and u do need to take off from your job and handle your business, take off for personal reasons and keep your job out of your business and also get joint custody of your kids , that will help too ,good luck

    So I am the mother of two AWESOME kids. I have physical custody. I make really good money and could probably easily make it without child support from the kids Dad. He used to be a good Dad. Now he never calls or sees his kids. He moved 15 hours away to live with his now wife. He doesn’t call his kids, nothing. Not even on birthdays. They are devastated. Anyway, this guy is PISSED as many men are that he has to pay child support because I make decent money. The new wife thought she was gaining a decent paycheck and is pissed that some of it goes to my kids. I hate it for those that were married to people that didnt work. However, you chose that. Just like my ex chose to move away. He would pay nothing if he lived here. As a matter of fact I would probably have to pay him. Anyway, everyone has an obligation to care for their children and give them the best life possible. If your not working. Get a job! I read these comments and it is exactly why I will never someone that has school aged kids. Just too much drama and anger all around money. I am not going to tell my ex that I am fine and he can keep his child support. Its not fair for him to build a retirement and live a lavish life while I spend all of my money on OUR kids. Everyone needs to do the best the can and put their best foot forward for their children. Otherwise dont have them. Meanwhile quit bitching about paying for them.

    Hi Sally I believe that all adults are responsible for the children that they produce.The system that is designed child support family court is to insure that the children are taken care of exists because we revert into children when the relationship ends . I work and every dime except rent goes to the maintenance and upkeep of the children we produced. Not all single mom’s are out getting their hair done and nails. When we were together we planned to pay for our kids college he spent the money courting his now wife. I am paying that alone. So when I read about men or women that generalize about how child support is being used it upsets me.

    I agree with you sally. It baffles me how people complain about taking care of the children they created. If your job does not allow you to properly take care of your children and give you the ability to maintain your own standard of living, get a 2nd job or whatever suits your needs. It’s ridiculous to have a child suffer.

    And I also agree with the other post as well, I collect child support and it’s not even enough to cover half of her basic needs. I still work overtime to give her the life she deserves and I paint my own nails and do my own hair.

    Everytime someone mentions that they have trouble doing their hair, nails, or maintaining their “standard of living” in relation to child support their argument just supports the people who are opposing the excessive amounts. It’s CHILD support, not MOM support.

    @Sonya: RE: “It’s CHILD support, not MOM support.”
    You are very much mistaken. It is CALLED “child support,” but it is in fact “MOM SUPPORT.”
    The money is PAID TO THE MOM – not to the doctor, or to the clothing store, or to the grocery store, or to the school, or to the clubs and activities, etc. The mom gets it and the mom spends it.
    I have never objected to supporting my children. I vehemently object to paying the DEADBEAT MOM under the guise of paying child support.

    @Rabbit: RE: “makes me sick when a father complains about child support. It’s your kid. Period.”
    You still don’t get it.
    Most fathers are not complaining about supporting their children. (Of course there are always SOME who will – not the point.) We are complaining about PAYING THE MOM.
    Moreover, there is a culture that exists in the family law arena about dads. There exists a foregone conclusion that the dad is deadbeat, that he will not pay – more than that: he is predisposed not to pay. So a valid claim or objection by a DAD cannot even be raised – such claims are dismissed out of hand.
    Set aside your prejudice against dads and consider how galling it is to pay a DEADBEAT MOM all the money that is intended for your children’s benefit, yet is never seen by them.

    Be on the other side of paying the support and you would understand the so called bitching. I pay 55% of my gross income on support. Why should she live in the lap of luxury and I live in a hovel? That’s my bitch!!!!!

    My husband of 14 years has an ex wife and a teenage daughter (16). Husband always paid maintenance, medical aid and school fees. Ex-wive has now re- married, decided to become a house wife and had send the expensive slow learning kid that had added to private school and after care expenses teen age girl to me and my husband (we chose not to have children in our marriage due to high demand careers) Exwive has been seeing daughter at our expense for the last four school holidays and our finances has now started to slide. I had asked husband to arrange for mother to pay some support her answer to this was ” I am not employed and have no money” Daughter was send to us before getting married and becoming house wive.

    Now What?

    My husband did not py support for years before I met him. The exwife took him to court and he paid a lawyer 30k. I am divorcing him now and feel this or his child support ate die to his negligence. Am I responsible for the lawyer fees and back support?

    My ex husband and I are divorced and he recently re-married his ex -wife, this is the 3rd time they have married. He has been and still is paying back child support to her. My child suffers because of that. He no longer calls our son nor does he spend much time with him and he never ever comes around or has anything to do with our child without his current wife. How in the world can he be re-married to the same woman he is paying back child support to???????????????

    I speak as a father who pays child support to an ex-wife who has a higher income than myself. I am remarried and have two biological children and one step-child with my current wife. My ex-wife has only one child from our previous relationship of whom I pay support. My child support was entered 5years ago during a time when I was only allowed to see my child for a few hours, 2 days in a week and one overnight. Since then there has been significant changes in our lives that clearly warrant a change in the support order such as a huge variation in income between my ex-wife and myself, new parenting plan (split physical) that we agreed on almost two years ago and of course having additional children. I have attempted to modify my support through the department of child support twice at no avail. I continue to pay an exorbitant amount of basic child support and daycare expenses that far exceeds the child’s need while I’m left with nothin for my other children, keeping in mind, that I have my child for an equivalent amount of time as my ex-wife. Child support as we know it, is ordered payments to support ones child but when that support creates an undue hardship on one parent and when there exists an unbalanced standard of living between the two households then the child support ought to be changed. I chose not to enroll my children into daycare as it is expense and have arranged on a schedule that allows me and my wife to be with our children when one of us is at work. My ex-wife however, chooses to enroll our child into daycare during her days with child and wants me to pay a share of her daycare costs. The reason I shared about my experience is to show just how unfair the system is. I take good care of my child during my residential time but I’m also expected to pay my ex-wife who has more money and less financial responsibilities money to care for my child half the time she’s away from me. I have to work overtime and get assistance from my family so as to be able to make ends meet while my ex-wife sits and waits to receive what I consider personal spending money from my pay check. I’m taking my case to court and I pray that the court makes the needed changes to end this high profile exploitation. We need child support reform in this country and the department of child support has got to end the bias thats mostly against men!

    My husband went through a separation with his first wife about 12 years ago. They had six kids total, together. When they went through a legal separation, he was ordered to appear in court for a judgement of child support on the two younger children that lived with the mother. He was told that he would have to pay $850 for them. The court advocate looked at him like he was a deadbeat dad when he got mad at the amount. When he finally said, what about the other 3 children? The court advocate asked, what other three (one was already over 18) and he said, the three that live with me? The advocate literally threw the file and said he wasn’t told of the other three children. They had to reconvene and his support was dropped to $200 a month, but he agreed to pay her $300. Now jump seven years later, she has been living with a different man and he meets me. They finally do a judgement of divorce, the three living with him over 18 and mom gets $1200 a month now for two children. We get married.. have two children and things are tight, but he has not complained about paying the support, thinking it’s best for his kids.. This last year, the youngest moved in with us, and mom has not reported the child has moved in with us and has been collecting $600 a month in child support on the one child that lives with us. We just got a letter for a review, so sent that in and now we wait. Will they make her pay back the child support that was paid out over the past 7 months? When I went through my divorce, I knew my ex could not afford to pay a lot and worked out $200 a month for two children. I think courts need to look at what the household expenses are not just gross income. It shouldn’t be so bad where people are struggling to keep their houses or to keep their electricity on just so their exes can make bank. And that’s exactly what they are doing. Since my husband’s child has been living here, we have had him ask his mother to take him school shopping etc and he was told he would have to wait until she had money.. So that tells me that the child support that he sends does not get used for the children, but more so for mom’s expenses…

    My kids dad and I separated last year in January 2015 and I was pregnant when that happens I move to my own apartment with our 4 years ago daughter before even that he has not been doing anything for the child every time I asked him to do something for our daughter and I also give birth to another baby girl he is not support the two he is doing two jobs the kids are living with me i I’m the one doing everything for the kids when I asked him to buy something for the kids he will tell me that he doesn’t have money ok help me to babysitter some time so that I can have a break with the kids on the weekend he also says no to that now I’m getting tired with all his behavior I’m thinking on what next step to take.

    I give props to the men that choose to step up and take care of their children. Also on the other hand.. U must take into consideration that there are useless “sperm donors” out there that choose to make 10 babies and not take care of them. I have a soon to be 12 year old daughter who has never met her father. I gave him so many opportunities to do so. He had 3 kids before her and two of which he gave up for adoption, then my daughter. 4 months after she was born he had two more daughters… But in total has 9 that I’m aware of. Married one of the moms that he gave up the kid for adoption and had 2 more kids with her. Anyways.. He didn’t mind taking me back to court to get child support lowered to 50 bucks a week when my daughter was 3. I just recently found out he is making close to 100k a year and my daughter needs braces. So yeah.. I’m taking him back for everything I can. My child didn’t ask to be put into this position and in no way should she be held responsible for me making a mistake and having her with a deadbeat!! I would have given anything for her to have a dad but it was his choice. Guess what I’m trying to say is it’s not the kids faults and not all moms use the money on themselves. My daughter comes first and last in my life. I’ll starve before my child goes without because she didn’t ask to be put here. So I do give all props to real dads!! But not all moms are evil. U have to consider the fact that most men refuse to step up. They just wanna lay down and make a baby then run.. That’s not what most moms do.

    What do I do in case where the dad got married again, mom is single and not interested in a relationship, dads new wife won’t even allow him to pay maintenance or even use the medical aid. He has his own company and living a good life. The other problem, she has to be nice to him before he gives money to the child and she can’t because his married. She lost her job due to her daughters illness. What can she do and she don’t want that money for herself it’s for his child.

    I”m a single dad, divorced now for nearly 2 years (June 2014), but separated for 4.5 (Apr 2010, she walks out) years before that. I was fortunate, cause my ex-wife made all the mistakes splitting the relationship as she Left me when I had all three (of our) kids, and no attempt to contact me or kids for 4 months. I was told many times I should have filed the divorce than, but I was naive that somehow she was the prodigal child, and want to eventually see things fixed. It was repetitive for many years, she’d left for a day, come back, many times. She also had many issues with drugs before meeting me, and coming clean in early years of our marriage was difficult. I simply had more hope than reality proved.

    Initially, she started contacting me about kids, and because I never wanted to keep her from them, as long as she was safe to be around them, I couldn’t say no, but I remained with her, them at first. She improved as mother, but never reconciled in relationship, eventually she filed divorce in Jan 2011, but due to the process, and the contesting issues, not to mention various conflicts and surprises in court, it took about 3.5 years. Initially, and during this entire time, as ordered by the presiding judge, custody remained at 2 days a week for her, as she and I initially agreed on before court, and I continued to have them 5 days a week.

    I also managed primary parenting responsibilities, like state health insurance, school, food stamps, child care, etc. When the final decree was ordered and signed, the judge changed the custody orders to 50/50, both having 2 days and 5 days one week, alternating weekends to change the next week. At the time I had less income, and due to my being primary parent sense she left 4.5 years prior, the courts awarded my Child Support. I’ve had various jobs the who time, and sense than, including trying different self employement opp, but neither ever changed the Support payments. However, sense she left, and started divorce proceedings, she has sense been pregnant with her future husb, marrying him after their son was born.

    My question is coming…. Despite my lack of strong employment, I am coming on a real good opportunity for employment, working solid hours with solid income, enough to start a new living on. I’m excited for the pending employment, but concerned she going to try turning the tables against me. She makes decent living as manager in fast food, though could be doing better in health care, she has a degree. Her new husband has strong employment, in working at a car wash as maintenance tech, and house keeper… last I known. He actually is illegal, but lived in state of AZ most his life, and stayed under radar when recent immigration laws changed, but that’s besides the point. With their combined income, and being father of their household, has some influence and care over my kids at their house, I feel their combined income should be more than sufficient to take care of them when kids are at their mom’s house, in their care (mom and new husband).

    With new job of mine, I should be able to care for them sufficiently when they are in my care, and if the numbers match ok, I don’t even mind if courts remove the child support, and I stop receiving payments from her… and keeping custody at 50% each. What I don’t want, is she trying to convince courts I need pay her, or the courts determining my income is more than efficient to provide for them, and need to help her.

    What I want to know, will AZ courts order me, a SINGLE father who been receiving child support, with new job sufficient to provide for children when in my custody, to help her, a REMARRIED MOTHER with combined sufficient income to provide for kids in her care?? I feel this would be injustice, and I wanted to try and educate self, and prepare self, and if needed, seek new attorney to ensure I protect self from anything she tries to take from me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *