Ways To Prevent Your Ex From Alienating Your Children

parental alienationBy Daniel Exner

Milwaukee Divorce Lawyer

Dads seeking divorce advice frequently ask divorce lawyers about how to keep their ex-wives or soon-to-be-exes from saying negative things to the children about their father.

Many divorced parents will talk about the divorce case with their children, use the kids as messengers, or, in worse cases, fill their children’s heads with lies about the other spouse in an attempt to turn the children against the targeted parent.

While there are legal steps you can take to prevent your children from being exposed to the details of your case, practically speaking, these options may not produce the best results.

Family courts have jurisdiction over the parties involved in a divorce action and all their minor children. Most family law judges strenuously believe that the children should be kept out of the process as much as possible and look unfavorably upon any party who chooses to act otherwise.

Typically, the court will not issue orders concerning the children unless there are child custody and visitation disagreements between the parents or the children are in danger of harm.

To help keep children out of the fray, courts will sometimes issue orders that prohibit parties from making disparaging comments about the other, using the children as messengers, or introducing the children to new relations.

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Furthermore, while you may be able to obtain these orders from a court, you may not practically have the ability to enforce them. Proving that your ex-wife is speaking poorly of you will be tough. Receiving a sanction from the court based on her contempt will be even tougher.

Moreover, the more you and the opposing party fight about the children, the more likely the court will appoint a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). A GAL is an attorney appointed to represent the best interests of the children.

If parties disagree on child custody or allege one party is acting against the best interests of the children, the court may ask a GAL to step in and make a recommendation on what should be done with the kids.

If you know that custody will be an issue, and would like a third party around to help prevent the opposing party from dragging your children into the divorce, requesting a GAL may be a smart move.

If you want to finish the divorce uncontested, quickly, and relatively inexpensively, you probably do not want a GAL to enter the case.


divorce lawyer Daniel ExnerCordell & Cordell has men’s divorce lawyers located nationwide. To schedule an appointment with a divorce attorney, including Milwaukee Divorce Lawyer Daniel Exner, please contact Cordell & Cordell.

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4 comments on “Ways To Prevent Your Ex From Alienating Your Children

    If you suspect alienation and are going to request a GAL, make sure to request one that is trained to identify alienation. Be aware that the GAL can become an alienator GAL if they are not familiar with alienation and do not have plans in place to counter any bias that the children can create when they are being influenced negatively against you by the other parent. And then you can become frustrated and unknowingly fall into the trap of feeding this vicious cycle. Ask experts in alienation for referrals to people that they know are trained in this area.

    My ex used dirty methods of trying to get custody of our daughter last year. It was proven from my daughters own mouth during investigation that he would show her private text between him and I about custody and disagreements. As well as among other things. Additionally, I feel he is trying to make it impossible for me to see my daughter considering the meeting place to exchange our daughter is significantly closer to him and he doesn’t have to pay expensive tolls or deal with the city traffic (over $2,100 a yr if I met her during all my designated times; or $180 per trip). I know I can ammend the meeting place, but what can I do about other aspects of acts of alienation?

    GALS in WI
    Court appointed GALs in WI are probably far worse contributors to alienation so do be very careful with these legal beagles. Once appointed they will and often do accelerate the alienation process. They can self appoint themselves or interfere with your custody for no other reason than they have immunity from wrong doing. The most important thing to remember is there is no accountability for their actions or decisions, nor the actions of the court as a result of it. 40 percent of fathers in WI never have a relationship with their children. 60% are only assigned privileged rights which basically means the primary focus of the child support agency is satisfied to qualify the child and mother as TANF state welfare recipients.

    With technical father absence as a result of court and judge patterns and practices. There are two ways the courts will always obtain a default predictable outcome, the threat outside the courts in litigation of wife beating, incest or child abuse if you do not follow their agenda,and the inferred threat or incarceration and bankruptcy.

    All of which are tools of the trade. Orders from courts are worthless if one party chooses to ignore them, they are unenforceable, especially if you are a male. Courts will run you around in circles until the kids are fully alienated, no longer eligible for child support or fully defined as whack anti social jobs. We are over 100 million semi alienated children and 11 M court documented divorces involving custody,and we have no information that statistically can show what is happening to American children as a result of it. More especially the one place where you would be able to find out as a result of it’s practices does not keep this information or keeps it secret. Why ?

    my husband alienates my kids from me when all i want to do is be a mother that isnt absent. He controls everything and i just want whats in my childrens best interest..Can you help me??

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