By Amber Steiss Rechner
The popular divorce book “The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce” by Cordell & Cordell co-founder Joseph Cordell outlines devastating and avoidable blunders guys make.
1. Waiting until after the holidays to file for divorce.
Parties to a divorce often decide to wait until after the holidays to file. This isn’t always the best route to take.
It can be very hard to get a setting in court for a judge to make temporary decisions regarding custody of the children, parenting time schedules, and belongings during the pendency of the case. There may also be certain “waiting periods” in place within your state law, which can be prolonged by waiting until after the holidays.
Spending so much time around each other during such an emotional period can also leave room for disaster with regard to fighting or inappropriate actions that may take place around the children. Additionally, tax consequences of remaining married throughout the year should be considered.
2. Letting emotions around the holidays ruin a potential divorce settlement.
It’s very easy to let emotions become involved during the holidays, especially when you are being affected by being away from your children for the first time on that day. Do not make the mistake of acting in anger or ruining any potential steps you have made toward settlement with your spouse or ex spouse.
While child custody and parenting time can be addressed again after divorce through a modification, division of property is final. You don’t want to ruin what may have been a division in your favor by not properly controlling your actions.
3. Failing to co-parent and think about the other holidays.
Most states have a default possession order that covers the major holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving. However, many will not account for other holidays which may be of importance to you and your children such as Jewish holidays, Halloween, the child’s and parent’s birthdays, etc.
If you are at all able to compromise with your spouse, it may be important for the two of you to start thinking how these other important days can be addressed and how to incorporate them into the children’s schedule.
Starting the children off on some sort of rotation will help them to get used to the unfortunate back and forth that divorce can cause. The more normal it feels for them and the longer they are on a set schedule, the less likely any court will be to change that schedule in the future.