What Does Child Support Actually Cover?

child supportBy Matt Allen

Editor, DadsDivorce.com

You’ve arrived home from work and as you sort through the day’s mail you see there’s a note from your ex-wife asking for payment for Tommy’s new baseball uniforms and asking you to pick up some new clothes and toiletry items for Susie when she comes to stay with you next weekend.

But wait a minute; you’ve paid your child support this month and on time like you have every other payment.

With all the money you are paying for child support, why are you being asked to provide additional support to cover these other expenses?

It begs the question, what does child support cover?

Obviously the laws determining what child expenses are not included in the direct child support vary by state, but in general, extracurricular activities, uninsured medical expenses and educational expenses are NOT included in the basic child support amount unless specifically included in a settlement agreement, according to Cordell & Cordell partner Spencer Williams.

He said child support generally covers food, clothing and shelter-type expenses.

How Much Should You Be Paying?

State Child Support Calculators

But when you’re asked to cover expenses you think child support should be covering, you need to think of child support differently, said Michigan Divorce Lawyer Jennifer Paine, another Cordell & Cordell attorney.

“Parents tend to think about child support as a one-way street: I pay support to you for our children, and you are responsible for using that money to support our children,” Paine said. “Most state child support schemes, however, calculate child support as a two-way street: you pay support to me and I to you, and we pool the support and each take a share.”

While your child support payments are generally a set amount, the calculations used to reach that amount are largely guesstimates of the amount of support a child needs to needs to sustain a standard of living near the marital standard of living, according to Paine.

child support divorceSo the support you pay is only the share your kids need while they are with your ex-wife. You are still responsible for support during your time, just as your ex-wife is still responsible for support during her time.

“As my father said after my sister crashed our first car in high school, you can never know completely when and how much your children will cost you,” Paine said.

Paine warns to be cautious, though. Remember to track your spending during your parenting time if you believe your ex-wife is not using the support you pay to actually support your kids.

Keep a journal of what your kids bring to parenting time and what they end up needing from you during parenting time. Keep receipts of what you buy and request reimbursement for an amount you think is reasonable.

Are you constantly spending a lot of money on everyday items your kids have such as toothpaste or underwear?

“If you are purchasing ordinary items, this may be a sign that your ex-wife is not using the support properly,” Paine said. “You may have reason to investigate and to motion your court for contempt against her for diverting support.”

When you meet with your attorney, be sure to bring your original divorce decree to show what factors the court took into consideration when setting the original support amount.

For more information on child support laws and how much you should be paying, contact Cordell & Cordell to speak to an attorney in your state.

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82 comments on “What Does Child Support Actually Cover?

    Depending upon the terms of your judgment, you may be able to avoid the expense. If the terms of your judgment require your written approval, agreement in advance to specific dollar amounts, or a set length of advance notice to respond to the proposal, and your ex-wife did not comply with these requirements, then she may be found to have acted unilaterally and is solely responsible for the cost. These types of conditions are routinely advised by experienced family law attorneys representing fathers. Conversely, attorneys who are less familiar with the issues or who represent the custodial mother may propose vague language which gives the mother a “blank check” so that the father must pay regardless.

    With respect to your children’s extracurricular activities, let me warn you that any “veto” power will likely be mutual. In other words, if your decree states that a party who does not agree upon an activity is not required to fund the activity, then your ex may very well object to every activity your children wish to participate in, thus leaving you with the entire financial burden for any sport or lesson that is important to you.

    can an ex wife take you back to court for more money even after several years even if the man has paid on time every week plus other unnecessary expenses?

    Child Support Modification
    In general, you can file a motion to modify child support if you can establish a substantial change of circumstances. The courts consider a significant change in your income, the recipient’s income, or the needs of the child to be a substantial change.

    Some state statutes also provide that you can motion to modify child support if it is has been more than 3 years since the date of the last order.

    Whether she is entitled to money will depend on the facts of your circumstance. For an estimated amount of child support you should be paying, please visit: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/index.php/child-support-calculators-mainmenu-40

    If I am taking my child on a trip but her passport needs to be renewed, do I have to pay for the renewal since I am the one taking her on the trip or does the child support I give my ex-wife cover that?

    need a anwser
    My boys mom want me to pay for his schooling and i can barley pay my own bills and pay her child support because she dont work she says i need to pay for it all and it is 190 dollars a mounth and just was wondering if i had to cover it

    My childs mother collects $412 a month from me in child support. I pay rent, utilities, car, car insurance, cell phone and other misc bills. All of which she does not have to pay. She rents free from her gradparents and also has her utilities paid by them, along with her vehicle. Her dad pays for her cell phone bill. Since I have been paying child support she has bought a brand new big screen tv & entertainment center, goes shopping regularly, bought our not even two year old daughter a north face coat that I believe retails at $85 along with puma shoes. She co-signed for a new truck and polaris razor for her live-in boyfriend whom she has been in physical altercations with numerous times, at least once while my daughter was in her arms. When she sends her to us she sends no clothes, no diapers, nothing. My question is should we have to pay this much? We are barely getting buy on what little we have left after that and should she have to send diapers and clothes?

    Get over it. You ruined her life and you get to go on with yours Scott-FREE of the never ending 24/7 responsibilities of your own children. You’d have to pay even more money for their needs, hospital bills, food, clothes, recreation and everything in between if you were actually their primary caregiver. You men are disgusting man, you actually want to go through life having sex and creating families you’ll never care for with impunity? It’s a cold world where the bad people seem to prosper, but the state is gonna make you pay for those kids you created. You useless dog.

    So what you essentially are saying is women don’t have any responsibility having a child? Have 20 different contraception and several options of birth control to men’s just 1 condom? And are the useless dogs? You madame are a useless troll. Women can get rid i mean abort a child and walk away Scott free? But men have to pay child support if he doesn’t want the child? But yet right men are useless dogs…. smh feminist

    To Truth (NOT),

    On the contrary, it is YOU who is disgusting. You are intellectually plateaued, due to your ignorant (and this is an understatement), entitled, and sexist view. It is entitled people like you who takes advantage of this broken system. It may surprise you, but there are many fathers who deeply love their child(ren) and would move mountains for them. I’m not going to waste anymore effort on you – you’re blinded by stupidity and stubbornness. Hope you have a wonderful (NOT) life!

    what does child support cover
    Obviously the laws determining what child expenses are not included in the direct child support vary by state, but in general, extracurricular activities, uninsured medical expenses and educational expenses are NOT included in the basic child support amount unless specifically included in a settlement agreement, according to Cordell & Cordell partner Spencer Williams.

    He said child support generally covers food, clothing and shelter-type expenses.

    Child Support Calculator for each state: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/child-support-calculators-mainmenu-40

    But when you’re asked to cover expenses you think child support should be covering, you need to think of child support differently, said Jennifer Paine, another Cordell & Cordell attorney.

    “Parents tend to think about child support as a one-way street: I pay support to you for our children, and you are responsible for using that money to support our children,” Paine said. “Most state child support schemes, however, calculate child support as a two-way street: you pay support to me and I to you, and we pool the support and each take a share.”

    While your child support payments are generally a set amount, the calculations used to reach that amount are largely guesstimates of the amount of support a child needs to needs to sustain a standard of living near the marital standard of living, according to Paine.

    We currently pay my husbands ex the court ordered amount of 600.00 per month PLUS 300.00 a month which he gave her to buy insurance with starting several years ago. He was not able to keep his son on his insurance at work because we live in another state and so he agreed to what she “told” him it cost her to insure our son. My sister now works for the same company as she does, and has the same insurance, which costs her 120.00 per month for 2 children. We also pay a clothing allowance twice per year (which we have yet to get the receipts when requested and I have to buy our son clothes every time he visits…4 times per year because he comes here with 2 pair of underwear with holes in them, 2 tshirts and 2 pair of shorts regardless of the season). Tonight, she called wanting money (1000.00) for a bed for him. In July, she “borrowed” 1000.00 from us that she agreed to pay back (without interest) at 100.00 per month deducted from her support (yes we have it in writing). My question…shouldn’t child support cover a normal life expense such as a bed? And yes, I realize this is silly to argue over a bed for him, but frankly we are fed up at this point. Thank you for your answer.

    i have extensive injures i got for an accident when i was young. i received a montly settlement to cover medical cost and living being that i cant get insurance for pre-existing injuries. i aM STARTing to have surgeries because my body is not the same . i have my child 3 days out the week and we alternate weekends. she has no job but she went got a house a car and keep expensive things. is it fair for me to pay her over 1100 for child support even thou i have my child the same now but a whole lot more if you add from when was born and i have 3 other kids i take care of. the judge just dont wanna hear that i dont have it

    Child Support Modification
    If you believe you are paying too much support, you should file a petition to have your child support amount recalculated. In most states a “change in circumstances” is required. I would need to know more about your case to determine if you have had a sufficient change in circumstances. A change in circumstances can be a change in the amount of time you see your child, a change in either party’s ability to pay, increased travel expenses or any other factors courts in your jurisdiction consider.

    Additionally, if the child’s mother is voluntarily unemployed it may be possible to have income imputed to her. Imputation of income allows the court to credit what she should be making, if employed. Child support orders and modifications may be based on earning capacity even in the absence of a showing the obligor intentionally and deliberately sought to avoid family financial responsibilities. If income is imputed to her, it is likely your support obligation will go down.

    You should contact an attorney who is licensed in your state to further discuss the specifics of your situation. Cordell & Cordell offices: http://www.cordellcordell.com/offices

    Jill A. Duffy is an Associate Attorney in the Troy, Mich., office of Cordell & Cordell. She is licensed to practice in the state of Michigan. Ms. Duffy received her BA in Psychology and Spanish and graduated Magna Cum Laude from Oakland University. She received her Juris Doctor from Michigan State University College of Law and graduated Magna Cum Laude.

    Court order vs gentlemans agreement
    My ex used to pay me R35.00 a month but was retrenched in January 2011, I let him pay the odd R500.00 or whateve he could, then he got a job with his dad but for much less than what he was getting ,we agreed verbally and via e-mail that until he gets a better job I would accept R2500.00 and forfeit the extra money he would pay twice a year for summer cloths and winter cloths and shoes etc He now has a good job as finacial

    My ex and I share physical custody (week on/week off) and he pays me child support which I use to pay ALL the expenses for our children (school tuition, uniforms, extra-cirricular activities, shoes, school supplies, birthday parties, etc.) I NEVER ask him for money beyond what he pays in child support. My ex refuses to buy our children any basic casual clothes (sock, underwear, t-sirts, shorts, jeans etc.) Every time they say they need something he tells them “that’s what child support is for”. Please clarify for me…am supposed to furnish both homes with everything they need? He keeps requesting that his support be lowered yet he doesn’t seem to want to meet their basic needs while they are in his care and custody. We live in Georgia. Your thoughts are apprecaited.

    Stop looking at your kids as dollar amounts!
    First things first, crooked people, child support is about making sure that the babies are taken care of. All I keep hearing is dollars this and dollars that and wah-wah-wah. I’m a single mother and chose to just be rid of the father for my child’s sake. Would it be nice to have some help? Yes! But you have to do, what you have to do for the sake of the well being of your child.

    Dads – take care of your kids because you want to and not because you have to. Your kids need you! There are some crooked woman out there that use child support for their own personal gain true, but for the more often than not the woman is the main caregiver and she is busting her butt every single day to take care of the child. Just because you divorce the mom doesn’t mean you divorce the child.

    Moms – Use your child support the way it is intended. By not doing so you ruin it for other children AND for your child. Don’t be so darn greedy.

    Now, let’s review. It is about personal responsibility. Be men and women of courage. Think of your child first and not as a dollar amount. Please!

    Thank you, Annoyed and Digusted! Your post was Spot On! I was a single mother for 3 years and now am a mother of a ‘blended family,’ so I have first-hand knowledge from both sides of this ‘debate.’ My husband is a wonderful man who will, quite literally, pay ANYTHING his ex-wife submits as long as she claims it is for the children. He is well aware that she is taking advantage of the situation. But, he is a GROWN UP, and he takes his responsibility to our children very seriously. He is not going to fight with her over ridiculous expenditures because he knows that in the long run, she will only manipulate the situation to hurt us more from a financial standpoint. Of course, I am livid that she would take advantage of him…and as we happen to live next door to her…I watch helplessly as the parade of delivery trucks and handymen (as she purchases new furniture and has every room in her house repainted) continues day by day. On the other hand, my ex-husband and biological father to three of our boys fights tooth and nail over having to pay anything beyond the basic child support expenses. He would rather our boys miss out on extra-curricular activities and enrichment opportunities than pay me anything additional…and I don’t ask for a cent over what is specifically spelled out in our divorce decree as his responsibility. People. Please. Do not take advantage of a situation to ‘get back’ at your child’s other parent. Do your job. Parent your child. Recognize that children are expensive. But well worth the investment. The money that is for them should be used for ( and paid for) THEM. Children are not pawns in a game. If you use them as such, there are no winners. Your children lose. And, if they are smart and determine as they get older how they have been used, you will lose them.

    Mrs. M. Farmer

    Which way is up
    I am constantly fighting the battle with my ex.

    It seems that every time we talk that i can not say a word without it being a fight and her taking it seriously. I have a few questions and i ned help if possible. What are my right in regards to making sure that my sons medical issues are all taken care of. He has braces that need to come off and also a doctor that i feel he needs to see more ofter due to his medications. But when i approach her on the subject all i get is yelled at and told that is none of my business. The last time i asked i was told that if i wanted all of this taken care of than i need to put more money in her account.

    I am feeling like i am getting messed over big here. I am paying $1000 a month for 1 child and $500 a month in spousal to include providing all the medical and dental insurance and half of all associated bills.

    Please help

    Foreign national and Remo
    I have a son in the Uk. My ex girlfriend has applied through the REMO agreement for child support. I am self employed and have no idea where my next check will come in and as I am a British National here on a visa I cannot work outside my area of expertise. I also have 4 children with my wife and to be honest we have no idea whether we will have to move back to the UK just after the court hearing through burning through our savings and having hardly anything in the bank. Will the judge take these things into consideration? Do you have any advice for me?

    If I make more money after she divorced me why should I pay more child support?
    If my income improves after my divorce is finalized and i have already been making cs payments that exceed what the divorce decree stipulates then why would I have to pay more cs if I made more money? She divorced me when I caught her cheating with my “Best Friend”. She shouldnt be able to interfere in my life in any way now.

    Trying to help a friend
    Hi,
    My friend was just this morning ordered to pay $1100 a month in child support for his two children with his ex wife. He works at a piece rate factory where currently he barely makes $1500 a month. Is there anything he can do for the months that he doesn’t make his normal rate? His winters and springs are always slower than summer/fall. Also, his ex lives with her grandmother and pays no bills and pulls in $1000, at least, a month working in a salon. She says she pays her grandmother to babysit the kids, something we know to not be true at all. If he contests these things does he even stand a chance? He’s having a rough time paying his bills and everything. Plus he’s unclear what all this support is going to because his daughters are routinely sent to his house in clothing that is too tight and too short, plus his ex gets foodstamps, receives Medicaid, and again, doesn’t pay any bills. The state is Michigan if that helps.

    Do I need to adjust the Child Support
    I was recently legally separated. We both signed a very strongly worded separation agreement that broke down all the payments I would need to make for Child Support. At that time I was making 3 times her salary, she is significantly under-paid and can’t find better employment. She also cheated on me with a co-worker and had a 9 month long relationship with this loser – thus causing the separation. I recently got a huge promotion at work, +16% pay raise and bigger bonus potential. Do I have to re-review the child support calculations or can I just keep quiet about it. If I do have to pay more, will the judge require me to pay the add’l per month for the months that I paid the original?
    I pay $350, but pay all medical $175, all day care about $240 and we split 50/50. She shops non-stop and has burned thru about $15K in savings in 3 months.

    tired
    new wives and girlfriends these are choices you made this is not your business poor victimized support payers really?

    Child support for rent
    The mother of my two daughters has not worked in 3 years and she is using child support to pay her rent (we have joint custody) and yet I still pay on top of child support all expenses. Can you get away with that? We are in the state of CA.

    Need Help
    Can anyone tell me in the state of Indiana what the child support goes for. My ex wife has not worked since being divorce since 2006 and has no income. I am in the military and my child support for the two minor child we have she uses on her personal bills

    child suppport
    The father of my son states that he wants to put our son on his wife’s insurance. He has insurance with his employer but want to drop it. I prefer not to have our son on his wife’s insurance because of personal conflict. Also she did not adopt our son, so she can’t put him on her family insurance, correct?

    I pay for commercial insurance and my ex wife wants me to drop my kids off of my insurance and put them on Medicaid
    I pay for commercial insurance for my two kids and my ex wife wants me to drop my kids off of my insurance and put them on Medicaid. I told her no. She did it anyway. She claims its was the only way her and her current husband could get Medicaid. I told her repeatedly No. What should I do?

    FOR JOCELY MCBRYAN
    tired
    written by jocelyn mcbryan, February 10, 2013

    “new wives and girlfriends these are choices you made this is not your business poor victimized support payers really?”

    You’re an ass. I normally don’t succumb to insults, but your comment just reeks of bitterness and “payback.”
    First off- where do you get off involving new wives and girlfriends? From what I’m reading, most commentators are fathers.
    Second- when your family increases, ALL children suffer the consequences; less time, money, attention, etc. Is it realistic, or even prudent, to suggest that when a divorced/separated father has new child[ren]with a different woman, this does not apply? Why? Because it is with a different woman? If the case was reversed, would your comment be the same?

    Now on to my perspective:

    Fathers/Mothers, pay your child support when it is due and the amount due. THIS IS FOR YOUR CHILDREN. If your circumstances change, use the courts to get the necessary help. My husband got a temporary suspension of Child support when he went unemployed. When he gained employement, he paid back in full all he owed. That seems like a reasonable arrangement to me.

    Mothers/Fathers- STOP USING YOUR CHILD SUPPORT for things other than for your kids.

    grandma
    MMy son pays child support for son with his girlfriend of one night . We spent all weekends with him during his 17 years, vacations, etc. Of course plus gifts, petty cash last years. The mother from the age of 8 did not take babysitter, travels 2-3 time in year and often overseas, loves everything expencive for her (Manhattan restaurants , gyms, clothes, plastic operations…, owns 4 properties, salary – from $50,000 to $ 90,000 (couple last years) in the same range as my son . My grandson and she never communicate with her parents. When i visit him home i see always empty refrigerator, dirt around… She asks to give more and more additional money to basic child support. I know that she lies. For 2nd half of grade 11 and first half of grade 12 she transfered him in private school. Etc, etc, etc. I very confused if there is a
    control possible?

    What does he think $600 pays for?
    Over half of that is day care which we BOTH need so we can work. That leaves about $250 for food, toiletries, clothing, medication, transportation (her bus pass is $11 a month!) I more than match that amount in what I provide for her but he wants me to send clothes, shampoo, and lotion on his weekend because he says he already paid for it.

    My knew number 1 fan; the prenuptial agreement; women protect yourself
    Women; take care of yourself first-you need to be up to your best in order to be there for your children. PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT! We are the ones who bear the children and are likely more at risk for health issues when we get older–higher medical bills just to take care of ourselves. Why lawyers and courts choose to ignore this–more and more women end up in poverty-we still have less opportunities for saving vs. our male counterparts. The mother always ends up with more of the brunt of it all and the juggling task of it all.

    Mother’s Motion
    My daughter’s mom filed a petition before the Circuit Court stipulating to a visitation agreement in which I am able to enroll my daughter in a private school, beginning at pre-school through high school, at my sole expense. This sounds like a qualified child expense to me because any education is priceless to me, and providing for my daughter’s educational expenses is a high priority (and duty) to me; so I enrolled my daughter in pre-school, which includes an option for extended day care. The mom takes full advantage of this financial situation and utilizes the extended day care option four to five days a week. I suspect she claims the cost of the daycare as her expense, however, it is, in fact, at my expense; so, if my suspicions are substantiated, I would presume she is has violated the tax code by making false claims, in order to wrongfully obtain child care credit or whatever earned income credit that is available. Any TAX auditors out there? BTW, approximately ten weeks after she received approval on her immigration permanent resident status, i.e., “green card,” she abandoned the marital relationship, residence, and all marital debts, taking my then-six-week old daughter with her…. I’ve been financially devastated since then…. I need help

    Divorce
    Be aware the attorneys are working together to escalate the conflict to hurt and ruin your lives. they have no conscious about taking everything you have sacrificed and worked your whole life for. When you go to court, the outcome is already predetermined, because they’re all friends with the judge as well, and it will continue until the lawyers push you into a position of loan sharking you into debt with their firm. Divorce lawyers are the worst kind of people, and they have no soul on hurting multiple generations for their own financial gain. It’s not the opposing counsel you need to be concerned with; ironically, it will be your lawyer that betrays you by revealing areas to opposing counsel on what will aggravate you the most to keep things going. Sick people…divorce lawyers are very sick people.

    He has is good?
    M ex husband lives in another state. He gets our 3yr old 1 week every month. He does not pay monthly and it is whenever he can he will pay $50 for that month. He believes that because he gets him that one week and pays our cell phone bill, that he does not have to provide anything when son is not with him.
    Because we live in different states, what can I do?

    **
    Me and my ex never lived together but we have our son and i buu him whatever he needs and i visit him 6 days a week. I keep all my receipts and now she’s threatening to put me on child support and she does not work at the moment. Can she put me on child support.?

    Help
    As my kids are getting older they are having expenses never talked about when I got divorced. My ex doesn’t have a home phone and leaves the kids home alone a lot and my daughter is a diabetic so I have paid for my daughter to have a cell phone for 8 years. Now she is needing drivers ed, car insurance, car, senior pics, scrubs for school along with the cell phone I pay. How should these be covered? With my new wife we share 5 children and look at these expenses as we can do what we can afford because we will have to do it 5 times. My exs thinks I’m being selfish and that our kids should come before my other children and wife. Not sure how to handle it.

    I get child support. It took me years to get it. I’m willing to go half on School. We have 3 children. Oldest 13 next 10 and our youngest is 5. All in school this year. He tell our oldest that he pays child support and that’s where she should get her clothe from. To me. Thats BullSh**!….Child support is to pay bills. I pay for rent to keep a roof over their heads, food to feed them gas to cook for them and more….goes on and on. I don’t ask very much anymore cause his a loser. But hey I sure could use the help once in awhile. He wanted these kids too at one time. I do what I do for my children and to make sure their taking care of..even if that means I have to go back to court!….

    yeesh
    some of you people sound like major PooPoo Butts, and some of you sound like you are getting poopooed on by major butts. lol. I was concerned with the fact that my son’s father wasnt paying for medical like he was supposed to, and considering just paying for it myself. but now i dont know. There are many good points why i should and should not. My son doesnt even like to go to his dad’s that often because his ‘step-mom’ doesnt like him. she texts me things like “when are you picking your son up” and “he better not stay longer than (__Insert time frame__)” and “he’s a brat”. Her family treats my son well, because he tell me so, and one of her son’s is nice to him, but the other one is kind of a bully towards him, and his father just ignores it all.

    I am truly confused…
    I do receive cs in a set amount, we have shared custody. I do cover 95% of all expenses for my child without incident. But where I’m get confused is the small stuff. We jointly chose to have our child attend a private catholic school and split that just about 57/43%. There are pictures, uniforms and a myriad of other expenses that I (the mom) don’t make a stink over but cover.

    Dad gets son two weekday nights, which has him bringing him to school two days. I shared that he should pick up a set of clothes and ALL HELL BEGINS…all over again. Telling me his pays with his support…and on and on again.

    I truly don’t get it. The school has an exchange (used clothes) that he can search through or go to Good Wills or second hands shops – JUST LIKE I DO for things…why is it so hard for him to purchase 1 pair of pants and a shirt? It’s not different then buying him food, or other clothes right??…am I wrong. Isn’t this what shared custody is? As far as what I learned…if I was to have full custody, he’d be paying me ~270 more?

    I’ll always be a nag or a B in his mind, but I just don’t understand any of this nonsense and wish it was a bit clearly the MUD!

    Child support
    I get child support. I am a student and x works full time. Can you please tell me that his $55 per week is supposed to cover half my daughters expenses ? I am outraged with what was written in the article re if the father has to buy underwear etc the mother should be investigeated as to where the child support is going. How far do you think the money goes ? Articles like this just give fuel to guys that want to make life even harder than it already is.

    rediculous
    it is clear by reading the comments that most judicial systems in america enable the woman to use the child to suck as much money out of a man to a point it is crazy, their are an equal or more over a greater number of woman that are abusive than men. Men are usually embarrassed or afraid no one will believe them, more often then not were laughed at and made to feel inferior by the poeple who are sworn and paid to protect us, our police. then this all goes to trial and more often then not the judge empowers the abuser even more and are placing an unfair tax onto the men.
    as for the comment of using a condom and whos choice it is, if one person does not want a child, and forcing that upon them is clearly domestic violence and is on the power and control wheel. I have heard women talking about which men their going to sleep with based on his job, also have heard them the woman talking about how that guy or that guy always insist on using a condom and that guy goes so far as to take the condom with him, rather than flushing it down the toilet and it possibly not going and the girl pull the condom out and squeeze the fluid inside of themselves in the hopes to get pregnant.
    These are tough times and I was blown away by the language I heard, I believed what I was hearing especially since were in the worst recession in history, and child support is a guaranteed check. Best thing you can do is just be abstonent from sex. masterbation is always the safest sex,use your head, this is a Womans world now! shows in every aspect of our judicial system as well as our economy and congressional law making systems.
    Upon entering the VA medical system the first thing they tell a disabled veteran is wear he or she can move to outside of the country and still receive care, disability checks, sad world when you cant live in the country you fought to defend

    How do I show my ex is not using her support for my child?
    I pay 1100 dollars in child support for my daughter. My ex-wife has two other ADULT children from a previous marriage, and a grand daughter living with her. My ex doesn’t buy my child clothes, never pays for dance, karate, or even her school lunches, I am also the one that takes her to the dentist and doctor. Now she is pulling her out of daycare again because her oldest son and his daughter moved in with them, and she says she can’t afford it. This is the 4th daycare that my ex has moved my daughter from in three years. BTW…she just came back from a 7 day cruise to Mexico, and bought her son new furniture for “his” room, which was my daughter’s but she is now sharing a room with her mom. Once again, her reply was “well, if you don’t pay for it she can go without”. I am already broke from carrying all the expenses for my child. I love my baby more than anything, but I need a break somewhere.

    Beware of divorce in Texas. The state of Texas is unkind to divorced fathers. The mother is pretty much guaranteed to receive primary custodianship of minor children regardless of circumstance, even if the mother is a lying adulterous whore. Only the father’s income is considered when calculating child support, for one child a father can expect to pay 20% of his after tax income as support to the mother. Additionally, the father provides medical insurance, and pays one half of the medical bills. Usually, the father has physical custody of his child 47% of the time. The State’s guideline support very nearly bankrupts the father’s household, while enriching the mother’s household well beyond any economic reasoning. No matter how you figure it, $1200 per month for one child half of the time is excessive support. In a state where the average cost of rearing a child is around $1000 per month, as a divorced father I pay 2.5 times the average amount to rear my child. By the way, I know where the majority of that money goes, poker games and bingo, but the court does not care. It is a father’s hell in Texas.

    should
    I’m from Las Vegas and my ex has my children custody, so I have to pay it child support.
    If I would need to buy some clothes for my children, can I send it the bills and charge it like part of child support?

    MOM
    I don’t understand why people have so many obvious questions. If you are divorced it should be very specific what child support covers. I receive child support and maintenance because I am a full-time student. I use all of it to survive month to month. In our divorce, it was agreed that any extracurricular activities, school fees, sports fees (and equipment), medical bills, prescriptions etc… was to be equally split. We each supply the boys with clothes that go back and forth. I paid for their winter coats and my ex paid for snow pants and snow boots.

    We had one of the most horrific divorces the court has ever seen, and I basically forced peace. Today we get along sincerely for the sake of our children. Kids know when you are being fake. My ex and I still bicker, but my divorce lawyer cannot even believe that we get along. It is quite simple. We love our three kids. The things my ex did to me during the divorce were horrible, but I need to move on.

    This will be our first Christmas apart. My ex has the kids Christmas Eve and I am supposed to have them back by 12:00 p.m. Christmas Day. We decided to have Christmas morning together at one of our homes and make breakfast. We are sharing stockings and splitting the cost for gifts. We are each buying them something special separate. I despised this man during our divorce, but our children being happy is what really matters. Going through a divorce is damaging enough for children, why should they suffer for the rest of their lives?

    My son is agoing to be a second semester junior at a local
    College. He want to study a semester over seas.
    I have been receiving support for 6 months, prior to that I was paying for 2.5years
    Is it my obligation to pay for his studies overs seas ?
    His mother put in his head that the child support she gives me
    Can go towards that because he not living with me now that he’s over seas.
    What do you think ?

    I have a question
    Recently went to court and shady stuff happened. But anyway went from uninsured split 50/50 to how it reads I’m responsible for any uninsured costs…she also has final say on everything. So she now wants to get braces on the child. Can I say no cause I cannot afford it. I also have another young child to take care of.

    wrongful sense of entitlement
    This is ridiculous. A man should be pissed about child support. Like in my case, I did not want the divorce. I want to be a part of my childrens lives, I want custody. The court says I cant?? I am just as capable if not more capable than the mother. A simple drug test will prove that. I gave her a check for $500, and the first thing she does is go out to the movies that night after complaining all morning that she was broke. Give me back my kids. The judicial system is biased and the unethical treatment of fathers needs to stop. All the mother cares about is money, and I just want my kids. But Im labeled as a deadbeat because I cant afford to send her the amount she wants as I also got stuck with all the debt that she piled up. Im sick of hearing women say they work harder, bust their butt, manage the family, are at higher risk for health problems… If that plays into anything, then I should be able to use the fact that I have a steady job to provide for my kids as a reason for custody.

    Weekends while working in Afghanistan
    I work in Afghanistan in 3 month intervals and then home for one month. My question is this… Even though I’m working in Afghanistan can I still have my minor child at my home on my weekends? I’ve recently remarried and know that my daughter likes to spend time with my new wife. Since I’m paying my child support and have joint custody, do I have the right to make sure she’s still in our home on my weekends?

    Question?
    Does child support cover the kids daily sitter when they are off of school during snow days & summer break?

    Alimony
    What factors should be taken into consideration when determining alimony amount and duration i.e. income, savings (awarded upon separation, (recent 10 months prior to separation) voluntary reduction of income, etc

    How is child support expected to be spent
    I have been awarded $1200 per month child support but my soon to be expects me to pay $500 out of that for my daughter’s FFA projects plus take over homeowner’s insurance, satellite, pool note, etc. At the end of the day, I will have $30 child support.

    get help here
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    reality
    IN reality child support is Slavery!!!! to take the goods from one person for the good of another. Fathers and Mothers should simply payback the government for any expenses they have on behalf of their children.

    child support and dads
    I don’t want to quibble over who pays more or less. The court has ordered me to pay $4000.00 per month for my 3 kids. I love them very much and would do anything goes for them but how in the world am I suppose to live. I take home about $2100 every 2 weeks so that means I get to live on $200 per month. Now don’t get me wrong but are you serious?! Now the courts ordered me to pay half their school tuition. Um yeah where in the world am I getting that from? See I found out that the courts don’t consider state or federal tax withholdings they count that as money in your pocket. Yeah I would love to use their accountants. Lol. Dads lose a lot and women just want to sit back and collect. Don’t argue it isn’t worth it. The words from my stbx mouth,”you have to support me and the kids” great statement. I get supporting my children but let’s be serious. I supported you when we were a couple now we are not so I am supposed to keep taking care of you. Come on women.

    Now she wants child support
    I have 3 kids with the mom. I agreed to pay her $700 a month. After about 5 months her new boyfriend tells her she deserves more. I don’t have work and have been paying her with savings money. Can I be ordered to pay her more, based on the fact I have been paying her?

    Additional nights due to her job
    the ex has a new job working a 12 hour night shift (i have the standard 8-5 m-f). she is asking me to get our 14 yr old son (who lives with her; child support garnished from my wages; i have him every other weekend) on those nights. looking at her schedule in a month, the add’l time avgs about 10 days in addition to my normal parenting time. some days are consecutive where he might stay at the house for 2-3 days before he goes back to her house. either way i would have to support him (food, shelter, etc.) during that time. is it reasonable for me to ask her for compensation – these are nights/possibly days where i would be footing the bill for support when she is already getting it? what is a reasonable calculation based on the monthly amount of child support that she gets? if i ask for this and she laughs and calls me cheap – i already see it coming, and says don’t worry about it i’ll (meaning she will) take care of it, can she hit me up for child care expenses for her job choices?

    car insurance/ car payment
    My daughter just turned 16 and her mom wants me to pay half of car insurance and a car payment. In my decree it states that I only pay half of health insurance, dental, child care, extra activities (which she is a High School cheerleader cost of 3K) and that’s it. It doesn’t state that I pay car insurance or car payment. Is that covered under the child support? I pay my ex right now with child support and health insurance of about $700 a month. I live in the state of Utah and have joint custody.

    daycare questions georgia
    can In the state of Georgia if the father is paying for a portion of the daycare expenses. the child is being kept by the fathers ex mother-in-law she has a state licenses daycare but where the daycare his is also where the child lives. should that father have to pay for daycare since the child never leaves home it is always at home even when at daycare. and or should that father try to get child moved to differnet place.

    Child’s Cell Phone
    My ex is the custodial Parent, I pay her support, I want her to take over the cell phone payment for my son and put it in her name. the divorce agreement does not mention who pay for the children’s cell phones, She is refusing.

    Child Support and Factors in Deviation
    So Child Support is supposed to cover food, clothing and shelter-type expenses. My agreement does state we split extra curricular and medical expenses but mentions nothing about food, clothing and shelter-type expenses.
    Ohio does not have guidelines for calculating a deviation, however since I did have a true 50/50 split of parenting time, I would be responsible for my 50% of the food and shelter, and those expenses are considered in calculating the deviation from the Shared Parenting Agreement based on Standard visitation of 20-25%….but what about Clothing? I do supply 50% of the clothing, they keep half their clothes at my house. Since it’s not specifically listed, I believe that Clothing would be an additional expense that should be specified in the deviation calculation. If it’s not, then I should either get a larger deviation or I should make my ex supply the clothes, correct?

    Children Visitation and Calling Schedule.
    I had to move out of state and feel my ex wife holds that against me. I would like to face time or Skype my kids, Been trying to be civil but I just can’t anymore, any advice would be much appropriated. Thanks,

    Manny

    End of Child Support
    My husband is paying child support for his 3 kids. His oldest daugher turns 21 in Dec as well as graduating college in Dec. His middle daughter did not go to college after graduating high school last year. His youngest is 16. Can we get his payments modified (lowered) after the oldest graduates College to have the payments lowered since the youngest will be the only one left which he does not get to see his youngest because his ex has him brainwashed.

    What expenses are we supposed to split?
    I pay my ex child support every month. I don’t mind pay because it is supposed to cover half of their health insurance, half of school lunch and half of after school day car. I have them with me two day per week and every other weekend. Exactly 50% of the time. When they need clothes, I gladly buy them clothes. We split all sports/dance activities. We split all field trips. Basically, I pay half of all expenses except living expenses when they are with their mother. They do not use after school care any more and only one eats school lunches. The other school makes their lunch, which means that I but food to pack for lunch when she is with me. My question is, what is child support going for? At what point to I not split things with her and refer her to the Child support that I pay her monthly? If she was putting the extra amount in a college fund or savings account for them, I’d be fine with every thing. Thanks for your help.

    Clothing
    My husband and I have his kids visitation every wed evening and every other weekend.
    The kids were never sent with a bag of extra clothes for the weekend. We have to buy clothes for them every season changing.
    Not just clothes but anything they need while in our care. Hygiene supplies as well.
    The kids are always, absolutely always, handled to us filty (the 3 years old came to us with beach sand on her hair and her intimate parts twice after being taken to the beach by the mother one day before visitation) terrible dressed, dirty and old clothes, and sometimes not even appropriate clothes; winter, low 20ties outside, snow and they came wearing rubber rain boots and thin socks.
    When my husband complained she said the boots were lost somewhere in the house and she didn’t have time to find them. Lie, because two weeks after we seen the kids wearing Uggs boots with her.
    Also recently she has been saying that my husband has to pay half of the school supplies, and the kid started the school only with half of his list. We would help if we could.
    Last year my mother in law, sent a new backpack full with school supplies. We saw the backpack only once, she refuses to explain what she did with it.
    We asked for the school supplies list marked down the items she bought, and the receipts that she paid, no answer. She wants the money, not the supplies.
    Last year she lost a few hundreds putting the kid on soccer and he didn’t want to play, she text my husband saying she accidentally paid one of his bills, asking him the money for that bill. She never sent any receipt of this payment, because she was actually trying to get the money she lost on the soccer classes back.

    Is she on her right to ask my husband to provide school supplies?
    Is she supposed to send the kids with a bag of extra clothes for the weekends?

    My husband is a city employee so his payments comes out of his pay check always in time.

    Does CS from a previous ex affect the amount of CS I’m expected to pay?
    If my ex gets child support from her first husband for their 2 children, does that amount affect my child support to her for our son? We did the online child support calculator but it never asked if she gets child support from a previous marriage.

    Extra curricular activities.
    My ex only pays $254 a month for child support for 2 boys. Out of that I have to pay for all their care, school supplies and extra activities, hair cuts, clothes, shoes. The only thing he provides for them when they are with him is food (he lives with his mom so she is the one providing). Payments come on time because they come directly out of his check. The very few times I have asked him to either take the boys to get a haircut or new shoes I get stonewalled with “I don’t have to do that, that’s what child support is for”. And I don’t have a comeback to that b/c essentially that’s what it’s for but I only ask at back to school time when there are a ton of extra expenses, now that the kids have decided they want to be in cub scouts and basketball I need to ask him to do a little extra but I don’t know how to go about it? I know I don’t have a leg to stand on but, $254 only goes so far……

    My ex-husband pays me $1250 in child support each month for our 3 children. We are trying to reconcile expenses. Sports are called out separately in our agreement, but would that include team fund-raising costs, for example, buying a table for a trivia night fundraiser for one child’s baseball team. Should be split that cost the same way “sports’ costs are split? He seems to be interpreting it differently. I think the equipment and the costs of fundraising should be split the same way (70/30). He is splitting it 50/50, but won’t communicate if that was an error or intentional.

    Also, because I receive child support, am I responsible for stocking his house with kids’ clothes and toiletries? Isn’t that what the visitation credit is supposed to cover?

    we split healthcare cost for our kids, but my ex goes for the most expensive she can find. No generics at all and if the purple flower cast is more than the white, she picks it. I’ve ask for compromise but she refuses. And she doesn’t actually pay anyway, someone else pays her part. Am I really responsible for ultra deluxe care when affordable is just as good? I want my kids to have the best care, but that doesn’t mean the most expensive every single time.

    My divorce decree states support termination upon my youngest child’s 18th birthday (9/2014). Without concern, I decided it in my daughter’s best interest to continue support through high school graduation. My oldest is finishing his 2nd year of college and I did not terminate support on his 18th birthday. I provide their medical coverage. I will file to terminate support once my youngest graduates high school in 6/2015. Once I file to terminate support for both children 6/2015, am I required to continue to carry medical coverage for both? They reside in Illinois. I am out of state. Ages are 18 and 21.
    Thank you for your feedback.

    My ex is trying to get me to pay for half of our sons car that she bought him and half of the insurance ? Should I have to pay this , even if I’m not financially able to ?

    My health insurance don’t cover the kids where they live. Am I responsible to find different insurance that can cover them there or is my ex responsible? I live in Corsicans tx and they live in Austin

    I pay child support , I have no problem with it. I pay for all my sons things for when he is with me 40% of the time. Again no problem. The court order states half of all uninsured cost need to be paid with in 30 days of notice. She is a school teacher and the health care cost is taken out of her check. She will not provide a copy of her check or the amount taken out. She has not sent anything other than a text stating I owe this much. I have repeatedly asked for an invoice or some kind of bill…. I am now being taken back to court for contempt chargers by her. My question is are the text messages stating an amount owed a legal notice ? They are not itemized nor explained . They are just you owe me $$$$ you have 30 days to pay

    I pay child support plus 68% of medical and I have my son every other weekend. Question is now she want my to help with daycare cost . In my divorce papers there is nothing saying I must help pay for this.

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