Questions To Ask When Considering Reconciliation

pre-divorce reconciliationBy Jennifer M. Paine

Cordell & Cordell Divorce Lawyer

It is not uncommon for guys to think about reconciliation after separating from their spouse.

If you are thinking about getting back together with your wife, whether before filing for divorce, during the divorce process, or even after your divorce is finalized, then there are five questions you need to address.

These divorce questions to ask are divided into three separate articles:


1. How long has it been since you and your wife discussed divorce?

If the discussion is new, or you have yet to have it, then you may be confusing frustration over what is going on in your marriage with a “need” to divorce.

Consult with a marriage counselor, together, about how you can resolve your issues short of divorce. If the discussion is an old and tried one and counseling has not helped, then you should consider a consult with a divorce attorney.


2. Is the feeling mutual?

You both have to be on the same page about getting back together. Otherwise, the same problems that led one or both of you to consider divorce will persist.


3. Is the reason financial, physical, or emotional? All or none?

Divorce is scary. Period. The prospect of losing half your marital assets, of having to pay support, of losing your companion, of having to find someone to date (at some point), and so forth, could force you to forgo filing for divorce altogether.

At least in your current situation you know what to expect. But is that always best?

Consult with a divorce attorney about your potential financial outcomes of divorce and a counselor about how to cope with the divorce process before deciding to call it quits. These professionals should be able to give you a more accurate picture of your future.


4. Who suggested reconciliation?

If you suggested reconciliation and your wife is receptive to it, then great! Proceed to questions 2 and 3.

However, if your wife suggested it and you are uncertain why, then consider whether the reasons are financial, to buy time, to hide assets, etc., and consult with a divorce lawyer.

If one of you suggested it and the other was not receptive, it is time to consult with a family law attorney.


5. Has either spouse moved out?

Moving out is often the sign of the beginning of the end, and the loneliness that tends to come with living apart can overcome the underlying reasons for deciding to divorce.

Consider what the reason is for reconciling – loneliness or a concerted decision by both spouses to work on the marriage.

Additionally, consider what the financial consequences are if either of you signed a lease for a separate residence and discuss how to pay for it.

Cordell & Cordell:

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Jennifer M. Paine is a Michigan Divorce Lawyer with Cordell & Cordell. She is licensed to practice in Michigan, and has been admitted pro hac vice in Illinois, Ohio, and the United States Court of Federal Claims.

Ms. Paine received her Bachelor of Arts in English and Mathematics from Albion College and graduated Summa Cum Laude. She received her Juris Doctorate from MSU College of Law and graduated Summa Cum Laude.

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