Will I Get Custody?

child custodyBy Matt Allen

Editor, DadsDivorce.com

If you have ever been involved in a child custody case or you are about to begin one you most likely have heard the phrase “best interests of the child.”

Almost every state determines child custody and visitation issues based on the best interests of the child standard.

State statutes and case law define this standard differently, but in general there are certain factors and themes that appear in the majority of states.

So when you ask the inevitable question of “what are my chances I’ll get custody”, here is a general list of what the courts use to analyze the “best interests of the child,” according to Cordell & Cordell attorney Jennifer Paine:

  • The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child.
  • The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any.
  • The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care.
  • The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the desirability of maintaining continuity.
  • The permanence of the existing or proposed home or homes.
  • The moral fitness of the parties involved.
  • The mental and physical health of the parties involved.
  • The home, school, and community record of the child.
  • The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference.
  • The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent of the child and parents.
  • Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child.
  • Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to the particular family.

You will find the same or similar factors in most states.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

So playing a part in the child custody analysis will be your location at the time of the divorce, your relationship with your children, your relationship with your spouse, who was the primary caregiver, where the children have an established, familiar environment, where the children go to school, which parent is more likely to encourage the children’s current religious education, etc.

An experienced family law attorney will know how to advocate on your behalf.

Cordell & Cordell has men’s divorce lawyers located nationwide that fight for fathers rights to remain an active part of their children’s lives post-divorce.

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100 comments on “Will I Get Custody?

    My child’s mother sent him to live with me in Japan back in Jan 2018 because she didn’t want him living with her and her new husband. She now wants me to send him back in the middle of the school yr because things didn’t work out with her and her husband and I don’t think that’s stable for my son. I don’t want to send him back and mess up what he’s got going on here. But I don’t know how to fight for custody being in another country

    I’m sorry ,but NONE of this is true. My ex-wife is an alcoholic (proven during divorce proceedings), drug-addict (failed MULTIPLE drug tests during divorce proceedings), can’t hold a job (lost two), her own family has taken my side, does illegal drugs IN FRONT OF my child, and yet here I am with joint custody and can’t do anything about it. None of that crap up there matters. All the courts care about is “good enough”. It’s ridiculous. She’s living in a broken down trailer with little heat and my daughter is sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor while my ex-wife enjoys the nice bed – mind you, in the same room. Its a joke. So don’t listen to any of that bologna. You can try- don’t waste your money.

    Either you are withholding something pretty damning or you live in a shit state and/or shit county. You are quick to point out what is wrong with your ex, I get the feeling that there is something against you that you of course are going to withhold here to be able to play helpless victim. I dont see ANY state or county choosing that described situation as ideal unless… you have something FAR worse on you they are concerned about. If that is the case I am sorry to say the child would probably be better off in foster care and I NEVER condone foster care.

    I go through divorce in Hillsborough county Florida, here is the same shit, dad don’t have any rights, been divorcing 2 years, my wife is holding my daughter, give me hard time to see it, have to call the cops in different situations, open a injunction in court to remove my daughter because her mother is neglected, my daughter is 6 yeatold and she all ready got vaginal infection, and the court always rule in her favor. That’s why there’s to many kids with their life fuck. God bless America.

    My son’s wife left him and took kids. He waited and called her multi times to ask her to come home. He has a really great job, and could not up and leave to see what was up. Well, as his parents we did not know about this. Over 2 years later she has never came home, she enroll the kids where they are. She is living with her parents, I am sure after so long they will want her out. She is a very nasty person, if you disagree, or cross her. She does not take correction very well to help her, she thinks if you disagree or kind of rise your voice to be heard. You are having a argument with her. Now my son is seeking divorce due do her nasty attitude and abuse of words to him all the time. He has taken this for over 20 years and now with the seeking of divorce she just being nasty and telling lies about him. He so want his children, even though she has never hit the children, the children are not well behave and kind of wild. Yes, they are only 6 years old (Triplets) but there is no control of these children. He wants to get a nanny, plus me to have these children and I am taking parenting classes, just like my son. She refuses to take them and her parents also. She is the one who broke this married not my son. My son take faithful to her over 2 years waiting for her to come back. She does not any love for my son, I would say she only loves herself. Not only she has mess up on her life and married, she has mess up my son life by robbing him of over 20 years of his life but his children. She is selfish, to even trying to get children after in a word stealing the children.

    I have been married for 5 years, I have two kids within my marriage(4,2) . My wife has two older kids (11,10) from a previous relationship. I have been with my kids since day one I found out we were pregnant! Every Dr. Visit from in the tummy to My son’s 2yr shots! We have had a share of problems but My wife and I both agree we are better apart and both want a clean divorce. She wants to go with the same agreement she has with the older kids father! (50/50 splitting time and child expenses while maintaining our own seperate homes.) The other father is behind on child support and the judge granted that he just pay the remaining balance of what is owed and no additional support was needed.if im not mistaken. I don’t like the arrangement .. I see the effects of it every time my step kids come back home! My question is is this the best route to go? Will I be forced to pay child support? If so should I just fight for full custody being that I have allways been a active father and she already has two older kids going through it now should I take my chances?

    I’m already divorced and I had sole custody of both my daughters but agree to joint custody but tge mother sinc3 the last court datehad 3 overdoses and 3 admittions into the psych ward do to a bad break up with one of her ex’s and during her time in the hospital she met a psychologically disturbed person like her self in the ward and married him and moved him in without knowing anything about him how hard will it be to get her rights removed again.

    My wife and I have had a declining sex life I actually the idea from a mgtow forum to keep a chart of times I tried and was rejected and times we had sex…also how much she drinks(which ironically increase dramatically). So far in 2017 73 times I tried since January 1 and only 9 times we had sex.
    I want a divorce and want to take the kids. Two daughters 16 and 14. She abuses them emotionally, puts them down negates accomplishments, and I have approached them and they want to come with me. I have put resources aside and need help with what comes next.

    One particular primary good thing about uncontested divorce is the savings in divorce costs. While legal professional representation will often be a good idea even in an uncontested divorce, the sleek procedure includes lowered courtroom costs, as well at lowered legal professional bills.

    My daughter is 10 months and her mother is very irresponsible and immature. She is wanting to give up her right to her mom but doesn’t want me to have full custody because it isn’t convenient for her. We have pictures of my daughter being filthy, open beer containers always in the vehicle, and the mom holding my daughter while she’s driving. The only thing that could possibly hurt me is that my girlfriend just got out of jail for POM that happened years before we met and she’s been sober for a year and turned herself in to get the charge off her record. Can i win this battle?

    My wife cheated on me two years ago and took my little girl to a different state. Since I worked night shift she was granted primary custody even though I took care of our daughter most mornings when I got home because my wife did not want to wake up early and take care of her. She was a stay at home mom and I worked 12 hour shifts 5 days a week to support her and my little girl while she was off talking to different men. Now that I am working day shift and only going in 4 days a week she rejects my request to get more time with my daughter (I have text message proof) even though I have always paid full child support on time and never missed my time with my daughter. She does not have good maternal instincts and leaves our daughter with her mom (2 hours away form where she lives) on most days. I’ve been keeping track of how many days she stays with her grandma in the event I need proof and the grandma has had her more in the last 10 months than I get to see my child in a year. That is just based off the pictures she posts on Facebook alone proving that she does in fact have her. Just in the last month my ex wife has seen our daughter just twice when the grandma took my daughter over to her house for Easter and her birthday. My daughter and I are extremely close and she always cries when I have to give her back. I have never done anything bad and am the best daddy I can possibly be. I love that my daughter gets to see her grandma but as her parent I want to be the one to raise my child. My ex just wants power more than anything and does not want me to have our child just because she knows that is what will hurt me the most, even though its the grandparents taking care of my daughter and not her. I am about to move to North Carolina and get married and I don’t know how to approach this situation of getting primary custody of my daughter and moving. She is my world but I heard dads don’t have a good chance of getting the child even though I am financially stable and more than ready to be her full time daddy. Do I need to attempt to get custody before or after the move once I am settled in? Will the court even care that the grandma is watching our daughter and not her own mother? Please help!

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through a similar situation and was wondering if you had heard anything?

    I feel so much for what you say. I did not divorce yet but it seems we are talking about the same bitch with same psychopathy. this is why I will not divorce to not give more chances to ruin my and my daughter’s lives

    Right now, My husband and I are going through a temporary custody case because he was putting my son in danger and then put his hands on me while I am pregnant with our second child. I’m scared because I do not want my husband around me or my son until he gets help with his anger problems. How do I know if I’ll get custody or not? He still has to tell his side of the story to the judge, what if The judge does not believe me. I’m trying to be strong… but my husband’s pretty good at lying.
    It’s not that I don’t love my husband, But he was in the wrong and I just want him to get help.
    What should I do?

    Iam mike ive been married for 8 years. due to lack of motivation on both sides. My wife has been to prison,jail,rehab(been out for three months), and runnen around for a total of 5 years addicted to meth. I have had our little girl the entire time. After her first incarseration(little over 2 years) I thot we could work it out and lasted 8 months b4 she started using again. she went this round without contact for little over 2 years got caught breaking and entering possetion and couple other charges. she went to rehab got out three months ago and i let our daughter spend a weekend with her supposedly at her mothers home with her other two kids. Next thing i know she put an order of protection against me (not letting me be around our child). court is soon coming up and i have no money for an attorney. Any1 ever go threw this? And if so please give advise

    My X wife is pregnant with her 3 kid from baby daddy number 3 can i get custody of my son do to showing her recklessness she had only been dating the guy for a month and she did not tell the juge during the devorce and custody hearing

    I am a father of 3 (9, 15, 16). My wife has been a stay at home mom for over 16 years. I have a great job that has been able to keep us living in a house for over 8 years. She refuses to work. I have made it easy for her to get jobs and she has gone on interviews, had jobs offered and refused every single one. She quit a job just after working approximately 2 months. She said it was too much pressure for her. Now I had to get rid of her car because i could no longer afford it. I have been handling all of the financial weight our entire marriage for over 16 years. I am emotionally distressed and can no longer handle living with her. I want a future for my children. I don’t want to work 80 hours a week not because I want to, but because I have to. I am done. How can I go about going through divorce, will the courts help me in my situation? I am afraid of my kids having terrible living conditions with her because she doesn’t have any sense of motivation. I realize that a mother is important and could not ever think of taking that away from them.

    Married for 4 years, 3 kids 2 weeks old, 2 years old, 6 years old,
    I ready to leave but afraid of missing my kids too much

    and I am in same boat too, add to it that the wife is mentally sick and likes to spend, on herself and step children. I take care of them all since 8 years, and survived 2 bankruptcies and regular extortion. I also suffer from her racism, humiliation, and attempts to distance me from my daughter, family, country, job, and properties. the list is actually long, it includes physical abuse, violence, and mental abuse of children

    Hello Men,
    I am a divorced dad of four years. I can tell you from personal experience that there is allot more to your divorce than child custody case or “best interests of the child.” You must go over every last detail with a fine tooth comb no matter if you gain custody or not. Your lawyer must fight for everything not just tell you “That is Standard”. The statement “best interests of the child” will sink your cargo ship and all your gold will be at the bottom of the Ocean for your Ex-wife to retrieve. I should have called Cordell. The female lawyer I had set me up for the kill like opening Day of Deer Hunting Season. Everything is negotiable if the lawyer is willing to go the extra mile. NO item is too small to try and get. Even transportation to and from for visitation should be split. Not just NCP Dad does it all. Also don’t ever let them tell you it’s best for your kid to stay in his house with mom and you give up your half. NO. You need your half too to get a new smaller house and have excellent visits with your child. Don’t be duped like me. They will sell the house anyway and collect the tax free money. Your money will be trapped in your 401k until you are retirement age. You will be hurting for a place for your kid when they visit you. I have cried out to Lord so many times in pain. So I wish all of you the Peace that only Lord can provide for you during divorce which he hates.
    Good Luck Men

    If im bout to get a divorce with my wife n I want one of the is that possible because I have fulltime job n she doesn’t have one can i

    I was overseas for a year and when I was gone my wife had an affair. we tried to work things out to no avail. I have been separated for 8 months and I have had the kids full time. She would see them once a week maybe. Will have any chance of getting full custody of the kids?

    I was overseas for a year and when I was gone my wife had an affair. we tried to work things out to no avail. I have been seperated for 8 months and I have had the kids full time. She would see them once a week maybe. Will have any chance of getting full custody of the kids?

    My name is Jeff have 4 girls and was married for 17!years and together for 25 , one day My wife one day out of the blue tells me she is leaving she doesn’t love me anymore but has no place to go yet as her friend needs time to get a room ready. So she stays with me sleeps in my bed makes love to me 10/14 days she is there . We still live like the are all good I out $240 gas in her truck still paubforbthe groceries ( as I never wanted her to leave ) then she gets paid in the Friday and is gone Saturday afternoon.
    Then 4 weeks later l find her parked in a farmers field having sexy with a good family friend and husband of her good friend . I take care of him with a few to the mouth tell him to get home and explain to his wife and at witch time my wife tries to approach me apologizing for what she had done etc I push her ( 2 hands to the chest and yell get the du@& out of here. I then proceed to find her phone at witch I see text of what they have done and beein doing in between each nude picture ( both at diferant places but none the less nude ) and comparing me and him and he did this and Jeff could never do that Tex m
    in the mean while during this time she is in my back trying to get her phone and all the wilhe oil oush her another 3 or 4 times calling her a few names and to leave me alone. . To make a long story short she comes home with me that night and we look after business a couple times that night and the next morning she then clea to where she was staying and comes back to stay with me a few nights well that end as her friend takes her to the police and I was charged with criminal assault .
    Now this was 7 weeks after she told me we were over and she was out of the house .
    When she left she said nothing about the girls but she wants to see them as much as possible. All had been good. But now after 5 months she wants 50/50 custody and I don’t want that I want it to stay the same as its a good place we live and u am a great father. The she wants to do 1 week at a time I still say no she gets the Monday , Wednesday and Friday ( after school till 8pm ) and every other weekend very fair plus can see them any time she wants she has been giving me a whole $325 a month for 3 girls (?the 4th is at collage ) my girls are 16,10,9 but she don’t want this now and is threatning to take me to court as her the victim gets a free lawyer and says I will lose the girls beaches of the assault ( first time I ever touched her )
    What are my odd’s to keep the kids and how things are ? Very troubled

    I’ve been the primary care giver for my 5 year old daughter for about 18 months. During this time I always encouraged contact between my daughter and her mom. The only times I postponed contact was when she would bring her back with head lice. During this time I tried to have a good relationship with my ex, but it was difficult specially because she was very irregular with visitation schedules and she was always switching things around. This past August she took her from school telling the principal that she had a court order (which she doesn’t) the school freaked out and released my daughter to her. I haven’t seen or talked to my littlest girl for two months now. I’d like to get some help. I’m in the Los Angeles area:

    I’d love to know what courts actually use these guidelines! As an alienated parent I can tell you they sure as he’ll didn’t use them in my case. Nor have they seemed to use them in the thousands of other cases of parents I’ve met during my journey, fathers or mothers!

    Hi,im have a son with my x wife and we have been divorced over a year now we have joint custody but my son lives with her she has since the split over two years ago ,has moved 7 times I get him ever other weekend but she hardly will let me talk to him on the phone or gets him to lie to me her and her new boyfriend are teaching him bad stuff live racist stuff and to hate gay people and he is only 7 he tells me Everytime that he wants to live with me but I was trying to see if see would get it together but have come to understand she won’t can I get custody of my son and what should I do to start this

    I am a 26 yr old mother who has legal and primary sole custody of two sons from one marriage (7 & 5) and i have a 1 yr old daughter with my ex boyfriend. I am the respondant thanks to a lawyer who didnt do his job because he was too busy crackin jokes with his paralegal during our consultation…the problem is this: his parents are joint managing conservators and primary petitioners..hes only co-petitioner. Also he lives with them and can somehow pay $1500 in bills a month working as a cook at wing stop…i want my daughter and need her home. We both have drug history however i am bipopar manic depressive ptsd and high anxiety but im on medication and 99% of people cant tell and dont even realize it even coworkers. He is the biggest con artist i know and his parents will destroy my daughters inner belief system like self esteem and self worth if she is raised by any of them. They are saying im crazy, irratic, and attack people for no reason. His father tried to back hand my 7 yr old and best believe mommy jumped up and stopped it. But when i had it brought up in court he flat out lied about it and my second lawyer let it go. Now im unrepresented because I have no more money and have court May 31st……help!!!!!!!!!!!

    My brother is looking for help, so im asking if his wife never worked through the whole marriage bc she didnt want to, can he get full custody? He is out of the military on disability, he has 3 kids she has 3(+3 his making 6). Does he have a case where she will be unfit to support his 3 so he get full custody? There might “issue” of one of those kids not being his bc time wise he was deployed and well you know. He worked 2 jobs at a point but his disability cut it back to one, and she never tried to help. I just want to present enough info for some feed back to get back some kind of help, thanks, his younger brother!

    My daughter in law told my son that he had to leave the home that he is and has always paid for. She has like $20,000 credit card dept and refuses to get a job

    I am currently in the middle of a custody battle in which I have temporary custody. Due to ongoing abuse I left with the kids to alleviate a volatile setting. The kids have recorded their wishes to remain with myself as they are of sound age to do so. I however had to leave home to do so. What are the odds that I will retain custody and be back at home? Should I need a lawyer and/or can one even be brought in at this point as an court date has already been set?

    I have few questions….. a couple of friend of mine are going through a divorce. The wife is the bread winner. The dad was the soccer dad. She is doing wherever it takes to run him into the ground. When they separated before she served him she put everything in her name like the cars, the house, and the bank accounts. He had nowhere to go. But she’s a user and needed a free babysitter and she knows he loves his kids. One girl 5yrs old and one boy 7yrs old. His mom just died so her condo is empty but she’s so evil she wont pay the electricity but she doesnt care because she wants her Fridays to Monday’s after school’s off. I have told her that this is wrong and her selfishness is on its way to becoming damaging. I was wondering is there anything that her separated husband can file? Also he has to higher me Az a babysitter because his wife refuses to watch them and insists that they can’t sleep in their own bed. But at least I have electricity. But I use to be friends with his wife. I am not anymore because when I tell her I cannot babysit her kids she tells me it isnt her problem. It is bad when the babysitter has to get a babysitter. But she doesnt care that her kids don’t have electricity. She thinks that he’ll loose custody. But doesn’t that show negligence on her behalf?

    My boyfriend wants to divorce his wife. They have been seperate for 3 years. We started dating 2 years ago and now we want to get married. Their lack of motivation has kept them from divorcing but my boyfriend does pay child support for his kids from the first month of seperation. We live together in a apartment and I finally got a big enough house for a family and on that same day she prohibited the kids from coming over. We want to move forward with our lives and have his kids part of it. We both have stable good jobs, a regular 7am-3:30pm. She is homeless living with an aunt and then moving in with her girlfriend on campus. The kids jump from home to home staying with grandma, mom, the mothers girlfriend to aunt. They dont even have a room to sleep together with the mother or grandma. The car she drives is under my boyfriend name, she gets care source and foodstamps pluschild support and medical insurance that the father pays. We try so hard to be part of his kids life from going to their lessons to asking every week to have them on weekends. The mother makes it so hard to communicate about the kids unless it’s about money. She doesn’t care to have the father part of the kids lives because she is controlling. She has a temper problem and makes all the decisions on when we can see the kids. We usually get them every weekend unless she has a fit she is so unstable. Which the recent drama is because we got a home and the kids wanted to come over to see their rooms for the first time and she didn’t allow it. now after 3 weeks she states she needs a picture of the house and address or the kids will never come over. Seriously, it’s not a secret. Obviously she drops off the kids so she will eventually know the address once we move in My boyfriend and I got a home to have more room for the kids which are 4 and 8 years old. We don’t cause trouble but she acts like she has every right with the kids when there is no parent custody agreement at all. They are not even legally seperated. The kids don’t even spend much time with her as well. TheY go to school and are pick up afterwards by her. She spends a couple of hours with them at home and she goes to work at night to deliver newspapers. And even now her 4 yeat old daughter is with a psychologist in the afternoons because of her bad behavior. We don’t know anything about the kids week unless we ask them. She doesn’t t like us calling or texting her during the week. We text to see if we can talk to the kids and she ignores it. My boyfriend doesn’t know what to do. He wants to go for visitation rights before divorcing her but I feel she will make an issue of everything. And yes her bitterness might be because she left her husband for another woman and now her husband found me and is progressing. He is out of the debt he had with her. He makes better decisions financially and now we have a home and are living a good life. A more healthier happier life than she ever had with him and the kids love to be part of our lives.

    Hello Dayana,

    Oh my gosh, my situation is so similar to yours. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. He’s the most amazing loving man ever and her ex cheated on him the whole time, even before they got married. Now, they are only separated and not divorced yet, reason being, he is trying to figure out how to keep his kids. That woman does nothing but play videogames and get laid with other dudes but because of her fb post of “I’m a good mamma” “we’re at the doctor’s” and stuff like, some women like her, are likely to get custody, I could be wrong on that, and I hope I am but this world is so twisted. I also want to marry this loving man of mine but we will have to wait due to the prior situtation and I don’t know to what extent he could get child custody because he’s never home since he’s the only provider at home and he works as a truck driver, which makes it hard for him to be there ALL the time. He’s a loving and amazing father, man, son, boyfriend, friend. She had told him this last year that he could keep their daughther, then, she changed her mind. It is so frustrating that after they have made a hell of their lives, now when they finally see them progressing, they want to do everything within their power to make them sink, in this case, because she would not make her mind to split custody in good terms.

    My boyfriends ex wife has placement with their 3 boys (12,11,9) and he has his boys Wednesday over night and every other weekend. Well we just found out about his middle child has gotten into a fight which had him suspended from school for 5 days,when he spoke to the school vice principle he was adviced that she signed a paper stating not to release any information concerning him ( their 11yr old middle child) and she also told the school that it was in their custody agreement,which we have copies of it and we read nothing of the sort. This has been going on for sometime now even with doctors appt and school functions etc. My boyfriend is really hurt cause he sees me doing all sorts of things with my kids and he says he is missing out on a lot cause their growing up and misses doing those things with his sons.She is very controlling and when she doesn’t get her way or he says something to her she retaliates against him.We have done everything by the book,,but it seems she always gets the upper hand especially when she goes into court and starts crying. What can we do???

    This is classic parental alienation tactics. Google it. Check out this website: paawareness.org, there are groups and pages that can support you on fb too.

    Make sure schools, drs, extra curricula groups have copies of his custody order showing he isn’t barred from anything! Always be polite and friendly when dealing with them, because she won’t be.

    Schools have websites where you can access your kids school information now. Email teachers and introduce himself to them. Make his presence known. Be involved!

    I’m going through a custody battle with my ex who has told me her move in date with her boyfriend who she has known for 4 months is the 15th of may even though I know she’s already moved in but lying about it. I found out he has a domestic violence charge against him, I’m wondering if that will be held against her when we go to court

    My ex-husband was a terrible, terrible man. When he went to get custody of the kids, the judge gave him custody. The court system is corrupt. I, Linda Reed, should have custody of my kids. My husband is abusive, and yelled at the kids all the time. That’s why I divorced him. Because he was abusive. Now I am remarried to Jerry Reed.

    I agree %100 percent Linda. Your husband is a nasty pig and he is wrong. You, Linda Reed, truly deserve custody of your children. You go girl!

    i am married and my wife is dating another woman she is threatening to keep my kids from me if we divorce this is the only reson i do not want to get divorce i need help

    I’m a 36 years of age father of three.. 5 boy, 7 girl, 9 boy.. I filed for divorce over a year and half ago. Ex party’s too much for her job ended up getting 2 dui’s In one year. So I left well told her to leave. I filed and have been going threw hoops with the courts this hole time. Ends up she’s now engaged and pregnant we just found out. I recently filed judgment with out agreement cause she never showed up to court or filed back against me and now waiting on the judgment to come back in the mail. 2 months ago I lost my help with the kids and ended up not being able to work but maybe 10 hrs a week. My kids go to scool at 8am and out at 130pm. My ex makes 5-6k a month and is not helping with child suport at all for the past year, child suport told me they can’t do anything till my judgment come back signed. I’m getting into a world of hurt cause everything is crashing down on me supporting life and the 3 kids. Now my gf has stepped in helping me and we’re both praying for the courts to send the final judgment. My hole point is I am a father who stepped up taking control of my kids and there lives and I have not failed at this and anyone of you dad’s can do it also. I have Fath my judgment will come in and she will start paying support and I will be able to afford for care and go back to work. I feel like the ex just wants me to fail and loose kids to her in my eyes she hurting them and breaking the law as well and has made some poor decisions. It goes to show the exs are snakes and don’t trust a word they say they definitely turn into different people.

    I am Helping my Boyfriend of 7 years find a lawyer to get custody of his 9 yr old daughter. The mother lives in TN, we live in NC. She has 3 children, by 3 different men, no stable income, and no stable home. They have been very civil until She had threaten him to take the daughter away and the nerve filed child support on him last year when he has been sending her money every month ever since the child was 1, when she was caught cheating/pregnant on him and kicked her out. We need your help! Any advice or referrals will be appreciated. I want the most aggressive lawyer and will pay for it.

    Hello Betty,

    Thank you for contacting Cordell & Cordell. In response to your online inquiry.

    Please be aware that we are unable to offer any legal guidance based upon contact from the website as each person’s situation is unique. This does require you to set up an initial consultation with one of our attorneys so the facts can be properly reviewed and your situation discussed with respect to your legal rights and options going forward.

    Your first step will be to call our scheduling department to request an initial consultation. There is a fee for the initial consultation that will be quoted upon calling to schedule; it will be either $100/flat or $175/pro-rated for up to an hour appointment depending on the office location. If you would like to set up a consultation, please contact the scheduling department at 1-866-323-7529. You may also reach us through our CordellCordell.com Online Chat Service. For a complete list of our offices please see here: http://www.CordellCordell.com/offices

    CordellCordell.com also provides a page of articles on divorce and child custody that includes an overview of the processes and answers some frequently asked questions: http://www.CordellCordell.com/Resources

    Also, I would like to direct you to our free resource websites, http://www.DadsDivorce.com and http://www.MensDivorce.com to see if any of the Ask a Lawyer posts, articles and videos might have any information that could be helpful to you.

    If you are considering divorce or are currently in divorce proceedings, we would like to offer you our free Men’s Divorce Source mobile application to help guide you through the process. http://www.MensDivorceSource.com


    Shawn Garrison
    DadsDivorce.com Online Editor

    Hi I’m 15 years old and live with my mom and stepdad but I want to live with my dad. He has yo travel a lot for work and believes that because of that he can’t have primary custody of me is this true?

    I am seeing a woman who is so afraid to leave the father of her children because she thinks he will take the kids away somehow. I don’t know how to explain and tell her he cannot.
    Meanwhile she is not happy, she wants to leave him but is afraid of what he may do to her.
    She just told me he brainwashes the kids. She told one of her kids her heart hurts and her little girl told her that she is hurting because she doesn’t listen to the day and that she needs to marry him, meanwhile she is like WTF
    While I want to be with her I really want to help her solve this as well. She tried to get a restraining order once already and it failed. Anyone have any advice?

    My daughter is 2 her father and I were never married but broke up 6 months after she was born. Since then he has seen her maybe once a month. He also had 3 children by the time he was 18. He has not helped me financially and has no high school diploma. I am finishing college and am now engaged to a man who obviously cares about her. I want to go to court so that he can adopt her when we are married. How much of a chance does he have of getting custody?

    I Have had joint custody for 5 years now. Circumstances have changed with the person I am with (4 year relationship). He recently got better job offer out of the state and wondering if I could win a move away case. Been a stay at home mother since I been with him and have a child by him to. So with his new job it will be better for all of us. Better income, stability, and benefits for everyone.

    It’s not fair to move your child away from their father, just because the man your with now, regardless of how long, has a better job offer.

    You are NOT putting the best interest of your that child first. In being able to maintain a close and loving relationship with the other parent. NO job is more important than that.

    Consider how you’d feel if he were trying to do this to you.

    I have a friend who has had (2) kids with the same girl. They have broken up, he moved out and she is telling him that he can not see his kids unless he takes her with them. He has never been violent, and is not a threat she just has not gotten over the fact that they are no longer together and he does not have to give HER money for the things SHE wants to buy. He buys his kids shoes, clothes, food, everything they need he buys no questions asked.

    She wont let him see the kids unless he basically pays her to see the kids. If he goes to court, what are the chances of him getting custody? he is not a citizen but is working on his citizenship.

    hello…..im max and im in a very bad situation, i had no other choice but to leave the house since me and my wife and my three kids lived with my wife’s parents. the house wasnt so big after we had the kids, between saying i was holding the kids too much or always being on them or doing things wrong and so on so forth i oculdnt take it anymore and i decided to leave. i did say i wanted to take the kids with me if i was allowed to so that my wife didnt have to do it all and it was not permanent to leave but that it was gonna be good for now till things got cool off for a bit and she told me no. she kept saying that most women on the west coast got more custody over children since they dont have to put u down as even the biological father of the kids. so i do this because i wanna know my rights as a fahter for custody if it comes to a divorce. i dont know anything about nevada states laws and i had to leave in a hurry because the situation was getting pretty heated so i got told to leave……even tho i never enganged in any kind of physical comfrontation. can anyone tell me wat can i do with this situation because im very concernt aht she does have full custody and that she can just decide to not even let me see them and dissapear without my concent with them

    When one parent dies and there are minors involved and there is one parent remaining, doesn’t that parent automatically get custody of the children?

    I believe it depends. If the parent who died had sole custody I believe whoever that parent leaves the children to gets the kids even if the other parent is still alive.

    I’m trying to help out my brother that was duped by a woman from Mexico… she has her citizenship now after 3 years of marriage and a 6 year old son.

    My brother, John, found out that his wife was lying about her job and she’s actually stripping and prostituting at a club. John talked to one of her “clients” and found out the truth.

    When he confronted her she started hitting him and she was arrested for domestic violence.

    He only wants custody of his son and she’s already told him that her lawyer will bribe the judge for 10k and she will get custody.

    You guys need to be a little smarter and keep text messages and record phone calls and keep journals of all of this crap!!!

    Hi, I want to know if I’m able to win over sole custody of my 17 month old son. His father and I were granted temporary joint custody since July of 2014 and the court order of visitation of every two weeks has been violated due to car troubles and having no ride because I don’t drive yet. He hasn’t seen his father since October of 2014 and owes me (the mother) child support which was issued in September. His father has not talked to me about meeting up for our son to swap since October and never keeps in touch with me for him. I live in Texas and his father lives in Tulsa Oklahoma. I’m not sure what to do because I have no attorney and can’t afford to get one on my own.

    My friend is trying to get a divorce but recently found out he is not the biological father of his 4 year Old son. his name is on the birth certificate. The mother is an alcoholic who abuses my friend and his son. My friend loves the kid regardless and wants sole custody. The mother threatens him everyday that she will “take the child away”. What are his legal rights to get full custody or make sure he gets some custody where she can’t do this to him?

    help me out?
    So recently I’ve been having problems with my childs mother over my fiance, and step sons mother. My ex tried getting CPS on her, and I signed my rights over to her until I could get my situation worked out but its understandable why she won’t let me see my son anymore but I would like to know if I could fight back for my rights back? Or what would be the chances because I do care for my son and we’ll do anything to get him back? Help me out please? /.

    moved 4 times in 1 year.
    I am the father of a 5 year old and have shared custody with the mother. she has moved 4 times this year is that enough to start a case?

    Help Me Please
    I am a 13 year old girl and i understand that this is very off topic, however i want to live with my father in florida and will do anything to do so. My mother and i have had horrible relationship issues ever since i was smaller, and my parents divorced when i was very young. THere are many nasty scenes between my mother and i and things she has called me which are totally unnacceptable. However, the court will be hard to convince and they so far think that she is a fit mother. I feel like killing myself a lot and often cry myself to sleep. I am not asking for pity, i am just asking for help. What should i do?

    Talk with a counselor at your school or maybe think about contacting your local law enforcement If it’s becoming abusive. A councilor can sometimes help you get the information to the right people. Talk to your dad about why you want to move with him. Maybe he can do something on his end to get you there.

    You are in a tough cookie but don’t worry! Everything will work out if you do the following…
    1. Talk to your dad and see if he’s ok with you living with him, if so then tell him about how your mother is treating you and see if he would be willing to take it to court
    2. I know you mentioned the court was already involved, but maybe this time you can change their mind
    3. How you ask? Remember some of the worst scenes with her and names she’s called you. You don’t need exact dates just try to remember around what age you were. If this has been going on for a long time (Which it sounds like it) the court will take it into consideration. This way they can know that the abuse has been going on for a while.
    4. Get it documented! Get all that bad stuff on paper with your school consoler or with another trusted adult. Tell them how it made you felt.
    5. Have a little hope my friend! After reading your story I want to cry, please never think about killing yourself your worth so much and no adult should make you feel like that… You have a life to live where you can make so much better decisions than her! Just please stay strong you can do this and I know you can too, I bet if we both have hope you’ll get through this and in the end you’ll both be on a sunny beach in Florida. 🙂

    6. If all else fails then you can always just call the abuse out for what it is… ABUSE! Emotional abuse! you can always tell any person like a teacher your principal a trusted adult (Other family) your school consoler almost any decent person what’s going on and honestly your mom could probably be arrested or charged.

    And yes I know none of us wanna arrest our moms but just remember its not your fault if she’s arrested, she made the decision to do this.

    Girl I have so much faith for you! Go get em’

    i have been married one year since oct 8th 2013. i live with my mom and he stays with his mom. i have our son. i had gotten my what i thought to be husband a job guaranteed. a place to live with us here. and he said he was gonna do it but then just unexpectedly quit talking to me all together. i cant get no response for nohthing ive asked if he wanted me to bring our son to him he wouldnt even respond to that? is that considered abandonment and would i be able to get full custody of my son?

    Winning the custody of your child is very difficult. As said in the article the court makes the decision only after considering a number of aspects. The parent which scores in all of them will get the custody. In most cases your child support law firm will be able to guide you through the process. They will be able to give you the right advices that can help boost your chances of winning the custody of your child.

    Dear Fathers,
    Getting custody of a child for us men isnt always easy. Luckily there is a way. When i got a divorce from my ex i tought she was going to keep my two daughters, but luckily i got the best lawyers in New York that fought their hardest till i got them. They weren’t going to stop until i got them and i will forever be greatful for that. I was so happy with my results that i feel like i have to put the firms name out as gratitude. So if you guise ever need help with custody issues, or divorce for that matter, don’t go anywhere else other than http://rosenbergfirm.com/.

    Fathers, men, please if you really want to be in your child’s life and they are of sufficient age. Get a Guardian Ad Litem and give your children a voice in court. the short term expense will more then pay for itself. If you are married to a woman who is only about herself and can provide documentation showing as much your chances of getting custody are much higher. Record all that se does, where she does it and never give up. Your children’s futures are at stake.

    Child Custody
    written by John, June 18, 2013
    Can a mother of two who is a illegal immigrant take the father to court in Harris County Texas for custody of a child & child support? Yes she can, Contact ICE and report her for fraud using a fake SS# and report her to the local Prosecutor. You will be given custody , she will go to jail and could be deported out of the USA. Good luck don’t wait!

    My situation is very similar to the father with three Year old. I am still hanging in there right now but can see an end in the near future . i am curious how was your outcome?

    I’m a father of a 3 year old. My wife and I are currently divorcing and for the time being remain in the family home (she wants to sell, I want to keep, it’s underwater). I’m asking that we divide custody 50/50 or as close to it as possible. She wants nearly 80% custody and I think that’s crazy. What are the chances a judge will rule in my favor?

    1) We are in California (LA)
    2) We both are employed full time and have our daughter in daycare for 8-9 hours during workdays. She drops off, I pick up.
    3) We both make similar wages and work similar hours, able provide for our child equally
    4) Daycare, our jobs and future residences will all be within 10 miles of each other.

    She’s been having an affair and leaving the home for overnights and I’ve been keeping track of the hours spent with our daughter. My calculations have me at 55% and her at 45%, which has been the routine for the last 5 months (and will continue to be so until our court date an additional 2 months from now). Moral to the story, I’ve remained present and stable, mom comes and goes.


    While on my last deployment my wife of 11 years decided to give up on our marriage. I returned home on June 20th of this year, 2 hrs after getting home she tried to have me served. I just recent found out she has slept with over 5 guys while I was gone. She neglected my boys ages 10,7,4 leaving them at home alone sometimes overnight, with babysitters every weekend sometimes with no food or little food. We had our temporary court on July 2, where she won temporary custody of the children even though she was caught lying in court.. Why… all I want is custody of my children she can have everything else… please help

    Get a lawyer, you have parental rights to see the kids. Document everything from what kids say or you see or hear her. Keep a recorder with you when she’s around to capture anything derogatory especially threats for money to see kids or etc. I had done everything right with temp custody, but I’m active duty E8 and still lost because she had parents locally and if I had a regular job I might of had more of a chance. Bottom line is its going to be tough and most likely you can get 50/50. Take care of your kids when you have them. Call them every day. My kids know after a few years dad always calls no matter what. When you have them be in their face actively because that will carry more and show your dad. They’ll know in the long run the type of parents you two are. Maybe she’ll find no time to be with them and single life is better without the stress. But she’ll probably want money of some kind. MY need to think what kind of negotiations of where they stay and summer stays. Holidays etc. Don’t give up the claiming taxes!! 50/50! Good luck!

    Child Custody
    Can a mother of two who is a illegal immigrant take the father to court in Harris County Texas for custody of a child & child support?

    She works under a fake SS, wants to live the party life, has low income and the father owns a house has a long term job and financially stabled.

    Child Custody
    Custody ideally should be with both parents with the child having ample access to each. But when the child’s best interest is to be with the father, if the mother is unstable emotionally for instance, then custody should be with the father and I think the court will do this if given enough evidence. But a child really needs both parents, if possible.

    I have been in a constant battle for custody of my 3 kids. My ex-wife first filed for divorce because I didnt mkae enough money to apy for her constant shopping sprees and ever since the divorce uses the kids as tools to get what she wants out of me. For example I wnated the house sold because she refused to buy me out, so she told the kids they were going to have to move to another country because “daddy is kicking them out of the house”, so I signed th ehouse over to her as my kids were always coming to me crying that they didnt want to be away from me. She drags me back into court every 6 months for an increase in child support which she spends on herself not the kids. The courts here are ruling like its the 1950’s. They dont see the emotional abuse she applies to the kids. She put my son on medication against my wishes so she didnt have to deal with his outbursts which he never pulls when with me and now has the court forcing me to give to him on days when he is with me. After 5 years I have exhausted all my income and energy to fight but I love my kids more than anything and they prefer to be with me but the court caters to her because of tradition, she is a female and it is a small town. Im deeply concerned about my kids future but feel like my hands are tied

    My children”s mother have lived with a man that was sexualy molested, she have had the children at a sitter that had PTSD, and angery issue, she has had them with a man that was in a drug and alc. program. She kept the kids from me for 219 day in 2011. she has hit and punch my daughter. she has kept them from communication with me. She has moved them four time in less then a year and a half. She got behind on her rent several times. She has tried to contol every move they made.She has had my daughter on meds. then took her off them. I have give my ex money and other things to help her out, but everytime I try to address issue about the children she take it personally and we go to court because I’m accued of harrassing her. My question what is my next move. Do I have enough evident to get custody of the children?

    YES YOU DO! Dude, you have plenty of evidence just get this stuff documented… Report her and hopefully CPS (Child protective services) can catch her in the right moment or can notice the bruises on your children, or at least ask them about what happened and they can spill the beans! GET THEM OUT OF THERE YOU CAN DO IT! Also if you knew the adults she kept them with had these problems you must have found your evidence somehow (Like looked them up) so show the courts! Buddy like the Nike logo states, just do it! I have faith for you!

    Hi, I’m Symantha im 13 and i have a really bad past about my cusdody.I was with my mom for about 7 years of my life then a lot of stuff was going on so everyone in my family tunred on my mom becuase she was doing drugs, being abused by my step dad in fron of me. And so I wasnt in school but i was unknowing of the whole sistuation.Then my dad recived full custdody of me.And ever since i was in fourth grade i was trying to live with my mom But she moved to Arkansas…..Then to west virginia for about 3 or 4 yearsl.So I really wanted to live with her and Now since im 13 I am old enough to deicide but my dad said im still a minor and cant make desitionas for myself…..I dont know what to do form here becuase klnow my momther got her problems together and know is soon getting her opwn house down were i live and is getting a job and I am trying to live with her…But I dont know what to do from her help please?

    Custody Battle….
    The Mother of my child is living in uncomfortable situation with my child. They are sleeping on a air mattress in a house where child protective has been called at that resident for another child in that house hold. Is there anyway me being the father can get full custody of my child.

    There is no reason to do that, because as a parent you have a legal right to see her. Its a very simple process, you just need to be referred in the right direction.

    i am in the military and i am about to go to my next command which is shore command. my wife and i have been a having difficult marriage due infidelity. i got arrested for domestic violence in 2011. she has a police report on her with negligence while i was in deployment. we both have a record. she does not have a job, high school diploma and no way to provide for the children. What are my chances of having custody of my 4 and 2 year old boys?

    Parents have a right to decide what is in the best interest of their children. No fit parent who is innocent of wrong doing should have the taken away. A parent that is responsible for break up of the family forfeits the right to decide how the family should be divided.

    The Court should not have the right to decide the best interest of any child in a divorce unless both parents have been proven to be unfit and/or equally responsible for the dissolution of the marriage.

    Prepare for Battle

    Did she serve you papers while you were in Jail? Has she served you yet? I am not an attorney…..I’m definately not..but here is just some guy common sense stuff.

    1.) Get an Attorney… Yesterday…..sell what ever you have …do what ever you have to do….get one…..fast!

    2.)If you didn’t do anything….don’t plead guilty under any advice of anyone. Once she has a conviction on you…..
    ….well its hard to argue that your not an abuser if there is a guilty record on the books.

    3.) I’d get back into the house as soon as possiable….and file first. Set the world the way you would like it to be through your attorney.

    4.) Find a good church…..and get into counseling……maybe even ask her to go…..the baby isn’t going anywhere and still will need good parents. I fly a lot…and there is a lot of temptation…on both sexes….so….who knows why she is filing. Lets just hope she is a strong person of good moral character….and counseling will help determine if the problem is you.

    5.) God bless you and good luck. I hope you don’t have to get a Divorce…but if you do…..Prepare for Battle!!!!!!!!!!!


    First of all, where do you live? There should be a Legal Aid in your area where you can get legal advice. It should be very easy to get visitation or parenting time.

    my husband and I have been married now almost 15 years and we have two children an 8 year old and 11 year old. Things were great and I believed everything was better than it had been in years; however, it appears this was not the case. I understand that we all change, but this change in him is not what I am capable of excepting and want to know what my chances are of getting full custody of our kids.
    I own three businesses and fully, on my own no help from him, operate two of these businesses and 30 employees. from the time I drop the kids off at school I go to work, get off at 3:00 to pick them up, take my daughter and son to a coffee shop for an hour of homework every day, even in he summer, and then to their sports, four to five times a day, then we get home around 8:30-9:00, they go to bed and the next morning I make lunches and start the process all over again. I LOVE doing this- don’t misunderstand this as complaining, it is only what I do. i am the sole individual who cleans the house, grocery shops, does all school events and schedules everything.
    Recently my husband believed he needed to work on himself- great! Perfect! I have never been one to say no to anything. I firmly believe that we all have choices and in the end we HAVE to be happy with our decisions. So my husband heard about ayawaska and went to a weekend retreat to participate. He had an amazing experience and I saw some phenomenonal changes. However while I was with my kids at a sports activitity this most recent Saturday he went to a concert with some new “enlightening” friends. I say that because reading what I do daily I am NOT this individual, I don’t condone it and everyone can do as they choose, but it isn’t me. The next day, Sunday, I saw my husband and he told me after I asked him what he did because I saw something that lead me to believe more happened on a Facebook post, he said he did DMT.
    I am not okay with with this, expeicially not in a controlled environment. He did it at someone’s house whom he just met, through the retreat. It’s illegal and I have worked too hard to allow a consequence to happen. I told him my feelings about it and that if he does do it again that he can go down this path without the kids and myself. At that point he stated that he doesn’t know if he will. I see this as there is possibility and “finding myself” if far more important than my family. We all have choices and this is a route he may be looking at.
    My question is this. Because I find this unacceptable for MY family what are my chances of getting full custody?

    Read about DMT. Its a very minor drug. If it was something else, maybe you could be concerned. I suspect this is actually about something else.

    My wife is a Flight attendant with American Eagle and she is asking for Primary custody !!! She asked me to move out of her house as she filed for divorce, which I denied as if I would have moved out then my daughter (2yr old) would have to stay in day care over night as my wife travels frequently out of state and even country. One day she called the cops falsely accusing me of family violence. I was arrested, even though there was no sign whatsoever of any injury or anything. So my questions are:

    1. How do I prove that these charges were framed to kick me out of the house

    2. Can she get Primary custody keeping the fact in mind that she travels extensively ?

    I’m on a domestic violence cases with my ex girlfriend and I was wondering can she take my kids to another city thats hours away from me without my consent.

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