By Julie Garrison
Divorce and wrangling over child custody concerns is never pleasant. But in high-conflict divorces, things can rapidly escalate out of control with very little provocation.
While most divorcing parents manage to maintain their moral principles and overall composure during custody disputes, there are also those estranged spouses that can seem impossibly difficult.
Here are some tactics that should not be ignored:
Withholding or interfering with visitation rights by cancelling visitation at the last minute, making a dad wait by arriving home late for a child’s pickup or shortening visitation time at the last minute
Interfering with a dad’s participation in his child’s activities, such as athletic events, school conferences and recitals
Restricting a dad’s telephone access to his children
Withholding important health information about a child or lying to professionals about providing a dad with a child’s health record
Moving unexpectedly with the children for the children’s “best interests”
Making false accusations against a dad, such as saying that he is violent with the children, and coercing the children to say the same
Most of the tactics listed above are considered signs of parental alienation. Tactics like these could even cause a custodial mother to lose custody of her children if a judge deems the offenses to be serious enough.
The Parental Alienation Awareness Organization seeks to shed light on some of the unfair tactics used in custody battles:
“These behaviors, whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and avoided.”
It is vital for a dad who is being treated this way by an estranged or ex-wife to keep a running log of any of the above unfair tactics. This information can be used in court during custody proceedings.
Depending upon the state where the father resides, parental alienation can be considered a quite serious offense. Dads in situations like these should also try to keep a cool head and avoid retaliation.
Above all, it is important to retain a family law attorney who specializes in dads’ rights cases in all such custody proceedings.
Julie Garrison has been writing articles and short stories for the past 10 years and has appeared in several magazines and e-zines.
2 comments on “Unfair Tactics to Watch For in Child Custody Actions”
I going to have a ex daughter in law who is dragging the divorce. At last meeting it was told my son could sale the house. In the process of selling she went to her lawyer and told him to stop the sale. She is prolonger the divorce and making our son suffer. He finally got a week with his children. Since she is living with parents her Mother came out and said how do you like if someone took your kids. Ex daughter in law stole those kids and kept them away from their father and rest of family. We haven’t seen our grand children since they were 3 yrs. old now they are 10 yrs. old. In other words she is making this into a dirty divorce, and her parents are not helping. We have kept out of it keeping our mouths shut. The whole thing breaks our hearts, and her parents get to see the kids 24/7. The divorce was suppose to be final on Aug. 26 this year not now it been push up to Oct or Nov. There must be a way to end this once and for all. Our son lawyer is no help to push to along.
All the above
My wife is currently doing all these things! I have asked for my sons health records. No reply. I was informed the day after my sons 1st practice that she enrolled him in T-Ball and refused to let me know if she put me down on the application as his father and refused to give me the coaches number. She interferes with my court appointed nightly phone calls by telling me he’s asleep and trying to convince me he doesn’t want to talk to me by saying he hits her and kicks her when she try’s to give him the phone. The whole time all I hear is her whispering “please stop kicking me, please stop hitting.” Not one word or sound from my son. She has refused skype calls for 6 months and blames it on her schedule changing every week. Unfortunately the state of Washington is a no contest state and I am an active duty Marine in Virginia. She told me her uncle had Leukimia and so I sent her “home”. A week later I was served dissolution papers. Any ideas of what I can do?