Am I Doomed To Pay Support?


My wife has been having an affair now for two years and is open about it. I moved out of the house a year and a half ago and I am still paying her rent and car insurance.

We went to court and she went back on our agreement and threw a fit which made the judge tell her not to come back until she hired an attorney. We had agreed to 50/50 custody and no child support but she went back on everything she promised.

She has said that she wants support, but I don’t feel I owe her anything because she is still seeing this guy and she has had her rent paid by me for the last year and a half. She also refuses to get her own place. Is there anything I can do about this situation or am I doomed to pay support?





Some states do take adultery into consideration; some do not.

Some states will look at whether her boyfriend is supporting her or capable of supporting her; some do not.  Most states will consider whether the boyfriend is a danger or potentially dangerous to the children, so this may affect your chances of obtaining custody.

You may also look at whether it would be advantageous to moving back into the house.


Erik H. Carter is a Senior Attorney of the Cordell & Cordell, P.C. office in Indianapolis, Indiana as well as the Litigation Manager of both the Indianapolis and Pittsburgh offices. Mr. Carter has practiced since 1993 as an attorney. He is licensed in Illinois, Indiana, Pennsylvania as well as the Northern District of Indiana and the Southern District of Indiana.

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7 comments on “Am I Doomed To Pay Support?

    Unfair laws…horrible wives!
    Thanks for your replies. He dropped Cordell Cordell and went to another lawyer. He does not recommend any father to this firm. I am a woman, and I just hate to see how other women do harm to someone who hasn’t done anything to them. She was the one sleeping around, and now she wants all the money. Well, she’ll reap what she sows. The new lawyer is great, and gave a him a small glimmer of hope. His ex-wife has her new boyfriend, who she is trying to support and it is just unfortunate for good men out there. Child support is meant for the dead-beats, not every man.

    Not going to happen
    Sorry to sound negative, but Cordell and Cordell did NOTHING to help me and my situation. almost exactly as discribed above (from Missouri). I paid over 20K and got exactly NOTHING. I complained to the customer service a few times and they would not escalate at all. My attorney even broke attorney client privilage and told the other attorney what was said behind closed doors. I have all the proof but too bad for me, I lost everything.

    Tell your friend to contact his Cordell & Cordell’s Client Care representative
    Sorry to hear about your friend’s situation. I do know that Cordell & Cordell take client satisfaction seriously. They offer options to remedy any dissatisfaction that a client might experience via their Client Care department.

    They also take seriously their 10 Commandments of Client Care. (see their site

    DadsDivorce Admin

    Unfair laws…horrible wives!!!
    Cordell Cordell is a joke!!!! Helping fathers…Ha Ha! This lawyer in Missouri did absolutely nothing for my friend’s divorce. His wife was having an affair and he has to suffer the financial consequences!!! He could have went to someone else that would at least fight for his rights. This company just constantly asked for $2500 up front, and they do nothing!!!! Today he went to court and afterward, listened to a message from Cordell Cordell, saying they wanted another $2000. What a slap in the face. His lawyer told him, “it won’t be that bad”. I feel so bad for my friend. I wish I could help him.

    The Fed Title IV-D was started in 1937 to help kids in need. By IV-D definition the non-custody parent (usually Dad) is labeled a dead-beat. To get into IV-D the kids are suppose to be in at least one of the four need programs — Food Stamps, Medical Assistance, Foster Care, or General Assistance. For a number of years, the States have circumvented that rule and the Feds have let them get by with it — no one has challenged them, yet.

    In 1997 the Feds told all States they need to have a review procedure if a parent (usually the Dad) feels they were wrongly put into the program (ex-parté). In Minnesota the review process was very quietly rolled out in January 2009 – yes, 12-years after they were told to do it!

    FYI, besides collecting a percentage from the Fed, the States collect about a 1% fee per month from the recipients. So, the States have plenty of incentives to push as much money through IV-D as they can – in Minnesota over two thirds of all child-support payments, well over $300 mil a year!

    Two years ago the Feds cut the States’ percentages because they saw what was happening. Minnesota’s annual share was cut by $10 mil. What did the Minnesota IV-D program do? Cut staff? No, can’t do that, they went to the State Legislature and begged for replacement money, and got it!

    Wake up people! We are being taken to the cleaners! And unfortunately most “Family” lawyers are in on it. I love what this law firm is doing, but Erik Carter’s lame/lazy answer above is not very helpful towards a solution. Cordell Cordell could be doing so much more if they would stop protecting their backsides and feeding the beast!

    Because the courts are incented by the Federal Government via Title IV-D of the Social Security Act to maximize the transference of wealth between divorced parties.

    How ?? Each time one party pays via the local child support collections department the federal Govt pay them dollar for dollar in return. So regardless of your payment history every coutrt wants to put all people in their probation department because it makes them money. Last year in NJ over 789 million was brought into the State from the Feds for payments of child support via probation.

    So getting to your point. The courts do not want to set president insomuch as people coming in for reductions and them giving it out. Remember the courts are there to generate money for themselves first, The interest of the people or the children they are suppose to serve comes last.

    Sorry to say this is the absolute truth of the matter.

    My ex-wife has an open relationship with a woman of color and have had openly admitted to having an affair to the judge and agreed that she is the reason for our divorce. I have 50/50 custody of our children. I pay for a cell phone for my daughter all the clothes all the medical and child support. why is it that i have had a reduction in hours and make about the same amount of money as my ex that I am stuck with barely being able to pay for gas to get to work for the week and no one wants to help me.

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