Ask A Lawyer: Wife Says She Will Rebate Support


My 16 yr old wants to come live with me and my wife. My Ex wants me to keep paying her and she will send money back to us. I told her that is not a option.

She will still have custody of my 9 year old son. She moved out of state about a year ago and with the economy going down I cant afford to drive to Oklahoma every other weekend. I think my best bet is to get legal custody of the oldest, and go from there. But I hate having to retain a lawyer and waste money that could be spent on the kids.





The “pay her and she will return the money” option is not a good choice, and generally not enforceable.  Your child support should be determined by the state where the divorce decree was entered. 

Your 16 year old generally cannot decide where to live; however, many states give great weight to the wishes of a 16 yr old.  You can seek modification of custody, or you can modify your parenting time to “long distance” schedule (as opposed to the “every other weekend” schedule, which requires both parents to be relatively close).


Erik H. Carter is a Senior Attorney of the Cordell & Cordell, P.C. office in Indianapolis, Indiana as well as the Litigation Manager of both the Indianapolis and Pittsburgh offices. Mr. Carter has practiced since 1993 as an attorney. He is licensed in Illinois, Indiana, Pennsylvania as well as the Northern District of Indiana and the Southern District of Indiana.

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