Can I Use Cancelled Checks As Proof Of Child Support Payment?

child supportQuestion:

My divorce decree stated that I was supposed to pay child support through the state, but my ex-spouse and I decided it would be easier to just pay her directly.

I paid the full amount and have cancelled checks with “child support” written on every memo. Now when I ask her to sign giving me a credit for what I have paid, she refuses.

If I have to go to court, will the cancelled checks hold up, or are they going to be considered a gift?


While I am not licensed to practice law in Missouri and am unable to give you legal advice, I can give you some general observations on this issue based on the jurisdiction where I practice.

Where I do practice in Virginia, you can show that payments to the mother were for support of the children and not meant to be a gift. The best way to do this is to put what the money is for in the memo line, just like you did.

That being said, it is always best to follow the court’s order. So, if the court orders you to pay through the state, you should likely just pay through the state if possible.

Child support is very jurisdiction-specific and requires a specialized knowledge of local law. For these reasons I would suggest you contact an attorney who specializes in family law matters in your jurisdiction.

Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than tips on these matters, so please contact an attorney in your jurisdiction to obtain specific advice as to the laws of Missouri and how they impact your case.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, contact Cordell & Cordell.

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Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on,, and, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels. Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.

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