By DadsDivorce.com reader Big D
Yesterday, we went over proper decorum when responding to e-mails. Today, we’ll examine talking on the phone.
Here, same advice as with e-mail. If you are ever called out on something, called a name, given an ultimatum, etc… ignore it. I have been accused of some awful things via a phone conversation with my ex-wife and rarely are they ever true. One was, but we don’t need to address that here.
The best way out of a bad phone conversation is to simply wait for the voice on the other end to stop, then for you to say “I don’t think this is the best time for us to discuss this, I am going to go now and we can discuss this at a later time. Thank you, good bye.” Then hang up.
Notice the same format as with the e-mail. You are polite, humble, give alternatives, indicate what you are going to do, then hang up.
Whatever you do, don’t pick up the phone if she calls right back! Everyone needs and deserves a cooling off time, here she needs one.
My best advice here is to always use e-mail when possible. She is your ex-wife, so there is no personal relationship that you need to have with her. e-mail is fine and personal enough. I have not had a phone conversation with my ex-wife in over 2 years! Also, e-mail is tracking… phone conversations are hard to track!
Addressing Behavior That Is Out of Line
There are some times when an e-mail or phone call can go awry and you feel you need to address it. For example, let’s say that your ex-wife hates your new girlfriend (like she will ever like one!). In an email, out of left field, she starts calling your girlfriend names that would make a convict blush. Since the name calling was out of context and uncalled for, a good response would be “I would appreciate our conversations to remain on topic. If you want to have a conversation about my girlfriend around an issue that has merit, we can do that at a later time. Thank you.”
Summary
Always take the high road with your ex-wife.
Always take the high road with your ex-wife.
Always take the high road with your ex-wife.
Always take the high road with your ex-wife.
Just a quick update! Just two days ago, after I started this article, I found my ex-wife in a huge lie. Not only was she lying, but she convinced my daughter to lie, too. After I found out, I did not even mention it to her. I just kept the conversation on the “high road.” If at some time I need to pull out the truth, I will. Now, that is power!
