By Joseph E. Cordell, J.D., C.P.A, LL.M
Principal Partner, Cordell & Cordell
Last week I outlined what you need to know about orders of protection, which are unfortunately common in family law cases and are often used for strategic reasons.
In this article, I’ll give you seven tips on how you can fight an order of protection.
Tips for fighting a protective order:
- Get the documents. In order to be prepared to fight the order you need to know exactly what is being said about you. These documents are public record and are available at the court house.
- Know the law in your state. Know the timelines for contesting these orders, and take action immediately when you are informed that there may be an order against you.
- Do not violate the order. Even if you believe the temporary order was wrongfully entered, it is still an order from the court and violation of it could result in criminal charges and jail time. Violation of an order will also send a message to the judge that the order is needed, because you cannot even behave with it in place.
- Look for impossibilities and get objective proof. Take a good hard look at what is being said about you and gather any proof you can that it did not occur or that it could not have occurred. If you are accused of doing something while you were at work, obtain your timecard to show the judge that you could not have possibly done it. If the petitioner is alleging that you are harassing her on the phone, get your phone records to show that you have not called her.
- Put on your game face. When you walk into court, all the judge knows is what the other party has written in their petition. Go to court dressed nicely, be respectful, and be calm the entire time you are there. First impressions with the judge matter and will help you during the hearing.
- Testify. If you get the chance to testify, take it. Spend your time explaining your relationship with the petitioner and what actually occurred during the times she alleges you were harming or threatening to harm her. Do not throw mud! Judges are not more sympathetic toward you if you show how crazy she is. Stick to objective facts and steer clear of making her personality an issue.
- Hire an attorney. You have the right to have legal representation if a protective order is entered against you. It is important to have someone advocate for your rights and to hold the other party to their burden of proof. Cordell & Cordell has men’s divorce lawyers located throughout the country.
Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.
I was trying to help someone get out of drug addiction and the things that go along with it. She is a very attractive young woman and you can probably guess how she made money to support her habit…
She called me to pick her up after she said she was clean for a week and she needed a place to go since she wasn’t making any money the way she used to. I arrived late because she called me while I was at work to find her overdosed. Now her Mother is suing me for a plenary order of protection for herself (her mother) and the entire family, none of whom I have met or desire to. The girl told me she disliked her family very much and I am fighting the PooP because of the exaggerations and lies being stated to get it, and the fact no one will give me any information regarding whether the girl even survived the event. I think her family is more of a threat to her than I could ever be.
My no good husband put a 2 year order protection on me. It is all lies because he did not like that I gave his illegal gun to police that went off by accident and he got gun charge. Can I fight this in divorce court?
Hello My sister got a protective order against me. The police were telling me that my gun permit is revoked. I got my permit when I was 21. I am almost 62. NEVER had a problem. My sister lied. She said I beat her up. She has pics that she uses when she needs them. I had 2 rotator cuff surgery. I never did anything to her. I need some advice. Thanks you for your time & assistance.. Pam
I just want to say it is just not women pulling this restraining order crap. I’ve been a victim twice now where my ex husband has filed false allegations on me. He can’t physically beat me up anymore but he continually tries to hurt me in other ways. He’s been using the legal system to harass me. He blatantly told the court he wants to destroy me. It’s been 7 yrs since I left him and he’s still raging. He has friends in the Sheriff’s dept. and has used them to harass me, also. After his last false accusation he used my daughter who’s 10 to try to hurt me. He may have finally cooked his own goose this time using the kids now, but he has done detrimental damage to me financially and emotionally from his constant harassment. There are future legal proceedings that will hopefully end his abuse of the legal system against me, but it’s important to know that it’s just not women doing this crazy dysfunctional behavior. I’ve seen more men pulling restraining order crap against women to continue the abuse. The court system needs to wisen up to abuse of restraining orders. It gives the abuser carte blanche to almost get away with murder. The requirements to get a temporary order need to be changed and strengthened. They should not be given out on someone’s word alone.
Like my narcisistic good for nothing lying husband. I have had to live 4 different places on all lies. The judge he got was against women. Horrible judge did not listen to me
I am a police officer for 13 years . Me and my son mother been dating for 4 year , I wanted out! she started fighting me I was protecting myself so I called the police so I can get my things out the apt we lived in but when the police came out she told them I hit her , the police was about to lock me up until I told them she hit me and I had marks on me so I took a protection order out on her on Monday and she took one out on me Thursday. We had court on the 19 of April 2016 . She wanted money and I wanted anything drop but I’m still not working full time and she lied and said she have apt but she living in a Shelter so I’m paying $1,100 for nothing so can I go back to court on a Final protection order…
I have an alcohol problem in 2009 to put a restraining order out on me and I violated because she allowed me to see the kids button down when when I wanted to see if she will call the police and say that I violated me she used it as a taxi to get me in jail and then she move to Florida re she has two years. Alcoholics Anonymous and now I’m fighting for custody of my children I do have a court order that I can see him and she refused because the orders in New Jersey and now we both live in Florida I sent her last month with the lawyer she said I violated the order and now the sheriff can to off my home instead I have a court date I need your help sincerely a dad need your help
My ex-girlfriend and I were together almost two months. Now I’m not the type to thrash out at a woman, never have I verbally abused a woman, I’m not that type of man. I’m meek, mild, and humble most times. It takes a lot to get me riled up. I find it is best to walk away from an argument than to stand there and make someone feel worse than they already are, in this case, she was belittling me. She used very hurtful insinuating/abusive words to me. Saying she didn’t know why I was there. I told her I was there to help her with her business (selling on E-bay). She said I was wasting her time so I told her I would leave. She again told me if I go I should never come back. She has told me this every time she’s gotten upset and I decided it best I leave until she simmers down.
At the time she was completely naked. This is her way of walking around in her home. I went to the bedroom, got my sandals and tried to leave, yet she wouldn’t let me as she jumped between me and the exit gate. Finally I made it through the gate with her following me close behind in the nude. She later jumped on my neck as I tried to leave again. That totally startled me. I just want to be done with her. She called and left a VM on my phone saying once she finds my car at my apt complex, there will be problems. Thinking that as a threat, I filed an Order of Protection against her and she contested it and filed one of her own saying I tried to drag her out of her yard while naked.
The lady is delusional and I want her out of my life, and at the same time to be left alone, me and my property. So what do I do? I lost my job while being with her, I have no money to hire a lawyer so my question is there a service where a lawyer or paralegal can be provided for a minimal fee for legal help? What can I do? My hearing with the lady is May 12.
What about women who are served? What about the disabled? What if the accused cannot afford to fight the Order?
Where are the legal advocates when you need them? In my case i was not aware that i needed a lawyer, so i lost and my exfiance won. What about any lies and exaggerations against the person? What if the judge takes the other persons side and doesn’t listen to the accused? This article doesn’t touch all topics. Sorry for seeming angry, but i still feel the sting of being psychologically and emosionally traumatized by a serious breakup and an Order of Protection that was used to just shut me up and treat me like rubbish despite how good i treated my exfiance! If i could afford a lawyer, i’d have sued my exlover last year! I could have even gotten him into legal trouble, because i know things about him that i should have told the FBI/police or whatever and i do not know what to say and do and who to go to. I don’t want to get him into trouble, but i am just such a wreck that i wish i could somehow warn the sob without making things worse and legally my hands are tied. I don’t know what to do! Help!
CEO
Men must learn how to play the game as well. Contact me at fightrestrainingorder.com
Don’t Violate the Order – Top of the List
Although it’s hard to rank your suggestions, this is probably Number One.
That, and not being out of control enough to be remotely worth the issuance of a TOP in the first place (although we know that sometimes a TOP will be issued anyway, per your previous post).
Look at the damage Mel Gibson did to himself with those phone calls. Doesn’t matter if they were doctored or not. The time, effort and money he’s had to invest in contesting those tapes, and the potential harm to his case (no matter how terrific Steve Kolodny is – and he’s a great lawyer).
I assume you’ll be posting about effective methods to combat TOP’s offensively (versus defensively).