I’m Joe Goldberg, a consultant that helps parents struggling with issues involving parental alienation. People always ask me how I got involved in helping others with this problem and can I help them where others have failed. That’s a fair question given the fact that so many legal and mental health professional’s are great at what they do, but just not in dealing with this specific problem.
I first had experience with parental alienation as a child. That’s right, I was an alienated child myself and I went through many years of pain being separated from my dad. I remember the progression of events very clearly. The alienation that was induced into me by my mother lowered my desire to contact my dad, to talk about my dad, to even think about my dad. I remember replacing all my memories of him with a belief that he was a pretty rotten guy. (That’s putting it mildly,
which it wasn’t.)
Years passed by into my early adulthood, then one day I came to the realization that my father deserved another chance, and that maybe a lot of the negative beliefs I had about him were simply distorted and unjustified. Once I came to this conclusion the iceberg started to thaw in the relationship between us and we reunited during a visit in Florida.
After that visit, we spent the next 20 years forming a bond as tight as a drum and the love and all of the good times we shared are my most treasured memories. As if the anguish over losing a parent for so long were not enough misery for one person to bear, I had to go through it all over again as a targeted parent.
Psychological research today confirms that many targeted parents have roots in the problem of parental alienation as alienated children. If you think your case of parental alienation is bad, why don’t you take a look at my website www.parentalalienation.ca and see what it’s like to have been in my shoes. Not only did I have to deal with an obsessed parental alienator, I found out her lawyer was writing hate filled letters that he wanted my children to copy and paste back to me.
Why, because he wanted me to think my children wrote them with their own free will. It’s all a part of the evidence that took place in my case.
How did it all end? Read my biography at the website and you’ll find out. The burning question people ask me is how do you get the Courts to understand what’s happening and how do you put an end to it all? I have to say that each case is a little different in the sense that there is a lot of information that you have to take into consideration, but overall the solutions are basically the same. I am not going to tell you how to boilerplate a quick fix, but I can tell you it is fixable.
My lifetime experience with parental alienation and my work as a PA consultant has enabled me to become widely involved in cases across the United States and Canada and while there are differences in each country, the solution to approaching this problem is not different. In a severe case of PA, often times referred to as PAS, we can look at the method of treatment in cases of Shared Delusional Disorder. The solution is to remove the secondary case from the first. As long as an alienating parent has access to the severely alienated child there isn’t much hope of anything improving for the child, and the targeted parents relationship with the child will continue to be undermined.
Did you know that even in cases where the Court has found a parent to be responsible for inducing alienation into a child and causing that child substantial harm, judge’s still allowed that alienating parent to have continuous access and visitation in approximately 83% of these cases? That’s a recent statistic from a study done in the Canadian Courts Would you expect a judge to give a parent that was a sexual abuser or a physical abuser the right to have weekend access with this child – unsupervised?
That is why my work as a PA consultant branched out into education. Today, I’m also the Founder of the Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome.
The website for this organization is www.cspas.ca
In the Spring of 2009 I organized an international conference with 20 of the leading experts in the field of PA and PAS and for the first time in history we started to bring the legal and mental health community together to help protect children from this form of abuse. It was such a successful conference it made the front page of the National Post Newspaper. (How many conferences do you know that ever make it onto the front page of the country’s most widely circulated paper?)
The support for this educational conference is still coming in and the professionals that missed the event have asked us to do some more conferences just like it.
I want it known that although my mission is to help educate all of the professionals that become involved in these cases, I also make every effort to include and invite targeted parents to attend a conference, at the one we had in the Spring at the Metro Toronto Convention Center many divorced dads did come to learn what they could. I believe that parents need to come to these conferences especially if they want to get answers that they can’t find to their individual problems.
It’s a good feeling for me to have the help and support of DadsDivorce editor, Rick Ortiz Thanks to Rick, I’m getting another chance to tell all of the dads affiliated with this group, that we have an upcoming conference in Toronto on October 17th & 18th at the University of Toronto.
I want to invite every dad interested in learning more about PA to come to the next conference and if you have a case in the courts going on, let me encourage you to have your lawyer and mental health professional’s to come as well.
This is an opportunity to help yourself, help your child(ren) and to meet a few of the speakers and talk to them face to face.
Thanks Rick, for not just helping me to get the word out, but for all of the things you do for dad’s everywhere.