When is the Right Time to Have “The Talk” With Your Kids? (Part 2)

By Contel Bradford

Note: This is Part 2 of a two-part series on how to handle the sex talk with your child. Part 1 addressed the “Little Sweethearts” (ages 5-7) and “Little Menaces” (ages 8-10) phases. Click here to read.

On the Brink of Rebellion (Ages 11 – 13)

The sex talk gets more difficult the older your children get. Many parents find that the hardest ages are between 11 and 13, when children are making the transition from loveable kids to obnoxious teens with boobs and deep voices. This is a crucial stage here and one that calls for you to truly be on your game. I can tell you some stories about my wild middle school adventures that you probably wouldn’t believe. It’s tough to digest, but some get started early – always have, always will.

I would suggest swallowing your fear and opening up here.  Your kids are now attracted to the opposite sex. Go over the importance of using protection to prevent potentially fatal diseases and becoming a premature parent. My father grilled me at this stage and even provided easy access to the condom drawer just in case. Didn’t stop me, but I thought it was a nice gesture.

Horny Little Devils (Ages 14 – 18)

If you’re into stats brace yourself because according to the surveys, an alarming number of teens are already having sex, more than 50% claims some research. You probably know that high school kids are proud carriers of raging hormones, and their actions often hint their increased interest in sex. Don’t be surprised if you’re rumbling through your daughter’s dresser and run across a pair of thongs, or walk in and find your son fast forwarding through that “adults only” tape you thought was strategically hidden under the bed.  All that stuff is common ground.

Just try to keep a level head about things, revisit some of the points you covered in the middle school years, and try to emphasize the importance of waiting until their ready.  The key is making sure you communicate about the issue and never assume they already know everything they need to know.  Hopefully they’re ready much later than you.

Getting Help

Need help with your home-based sex education campaign? If so, there are plenty of resources available to you. The Internet has tons of information in the form of articles and guides written by experts. Don’t overlook the value of your local library either. This might be an even better option for younger kids as it gives you an opportunity to sit down with them and answer any questions they may have.

Your involvement shows that you are there for support and could make them more comfortable coming to you when sex is something they start thinking about later down the road.

Nip the Birds and Bees in the Bud

I hope that you were really able to take something away from this article. Talking to kids about sex, regardless of their age, will never be easy, but you need to. Children are capable of teaching themselves a lot, but sexuality shouldn’t be something they have to manage on their own.

Make sure your voice is one they listen to, and you can rest a little easier by knowing all their knowledge isn’t coming from the streets or the Internet.

Note: This is Part 2 of a two-part series on how to handle the sex talk with your child. Part 1 addressed the “Little Sweethearts” (ages 5-7) and “Little Menaces” (ages 8-10) phases. Click here to read.


Contel Bradford is a professional freelance writer, journalist, and published author of multiple books. He specializes in many areas, including legal, divorce, and family-related topics. You can learn more about his services by visiting www.contelbradford.com.

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