A divorce is an earth-shattering event. It brings waves of crippling emotions: fear, anger, loneliness. It’s overwhelming.
One of the most difficult parts of divorce is that even though your world feels like it’s shattered, life doesn’t stop. You still have other professional responsibilities to tend to.
It’s easy to tell yourself you’re going to “keep it professional,” but maintaining that attitude is a lot more difficult in practice. The effect divorce has on workplace productivity is well-documented. Research shows that:
- The average cost of divorcing employees to an organization is $83,171 per year.
- It can take up to five years for employee productivity to rebound after a divorce.
- Child custody disputes often create significant cost for employers, which include administration of health care, absenteeism, time off for court dates, and shortened work hours for the divorcing.
As challenging as it is, it is crucial for you to sustain your job performance throughout your divorce. Divorce can be expensive, and it’s probably unclear how much it is going to cost you, so it is crucial for you to keep your paycheck and stay above water financially.
Here are 6 tips for surviving the work day and staying focused on your career while going through a divorce:
Notify your supervisor
You might prefer to keep your personal life private, and you should probably avoid telling everyone in the office the details of your break-up, but it’s wise to let your supervisor know what you’re going through.
You only have to give basic info, but let him or her know you’re dealing with some personal challenges and might have some occasional time constraints or schedule conflicts during this process. Find out if there is any leeway with your schedule that could help you.
It’s also a good idea to ask HR about support services available through your benefits package or if the company has an Employee Assistance Program.
Limit divorce-related messages
Unless there is an emergency involving your kids, it’s a good idea to block communication until after 5 p.m. This means no calls, texts or emails.
You need to be focusing on your job, and nothing can derail your train of thought quicker than an unexpected argument with your ex-to-be.
Divorce makes it easy to feel defeated and shut everything down. You have to fight that tendency.
An effective way to stay productive is by scheduling every detail of your life so you make sure you check off everything you need to get done.
Write down the most important things you have to get done each day. Pick the kids up from school. Prepare for Wednesday’s presentation. Buy groceries.
Another helpful tip is to schedule time every day for you to let off some steam. It’s important to stay focused on work, but it’s not realistic to completely block out all your emotions.
So pencil in a 10-15-minute coffee break when you can take a walk and process everything. Or maybe just head to your car or private area and scream for a few minutes.
Take on more tasks
One of the best ways to cope with the stress of divorce is by keeping your mind busy. So throw yourself into your work.
Volunteer to help lead more projects. The sense of accomplishment you’ll have after a job-well-done should give you a confidence boost.
Be careful with this one, though. You don’t want to bite off more than you can chew and add even more unnecessary stress to your life.
Find support outside of work
It’s OK to confide in a few co-workers about what you’re going through if you’re especially close with them, but generally it’s better to keep details of your divorce to a minimum when you’re at work. Disclosing too much information can also lead to a barrage of questions that you probably don’t want to deal with.
That means it’s especially important to establish a core support group outside of work who can help you through this transition.
Enlist the help of family, friends, neighbors, and other people you trust to not only provide a listening ear, but also to help with things like picking the kids up from school. Taking little tasks like that off your plate can go a long way towards easing your stress.
Male nutrition tends to decline after breakups, and that can negatively affect your life in a number of ways.
Make sure you’re eating healthy food, exercising consistently, and getting plenty of sleep. The better you take care of yourself, the better you’ll feel and the more productive you’ll be when you’re on the clock.