A Mans Mind: Helping Kids Deal With Divorce Stress

Richard J. Avdoian, MS, MSW, CSP

Kids Experience Stress Too!

All parents who are in the divorce process or who have recently been divorced want their children to be healthy physically and emotionally during and after their divorce.  Even with a parent’s best intentions to guard children, adjusting to divorce can be a lonely and emotionally difficult experience for kids.

Read more to learn some great tips to help your kids cope.

The experience often involves adjusting to two homes, different routines, separation from neighborhood friends, strained interactions between parents, limited access to all family members and much more.

You can certainly help to empower your children to strengthen their ability to shield themselves from these issues.

The more quality time spent with your children, the more likely they will become more confident, stress-resistant and able to communicate what they need to you.

Be Engaged

  • Establish and maintain ongoing conversations with your child. Avoid probing for what you want to know. Instead, ask what they are feeling, needing or concerned about.
  • Let them know they can ask you anything without fear.
  • Key – listen with your full attention.


Affection:

Fathers sometimes find it difficult to express or demonstrate affection but it is extremely necessary for children particularly during and following a divorce to know they are loved.

  • Touch, hug or kiss your children, allowing them to snuggle next to you while watching a TV show can mean more than saying “I love you.”
  • Confirm often that they are loved very much by both parents.


Manage Your Child’s Diet and Sleep   
       

Poor diet, eating and sleep habits can drastically affect stress levels.
Ideally, avoid or minimize foods that include sugar, caffeine, or chemicals.

  • Encourage healthy snacks like fruit, natural unsweetened juices, nuts, whole-wheat crackers, cheese sticks etc.

Confirm Your Child They Are Loved  

  • Be consistent
  • Think before you react, use caring discipline and reinforce that they are still loved.
  • Routinely assure them they did nothing to cause, nor are they the reason for the divorce.
  • Children, who feel loved, believe in themselves, have healthy self-esteem and cope better to stress.

Dealing with stress is part of life with your guidance, support and love your child can and will adjust to the divorce and actively live life.

© Richard J. Avdoian, MS, MSW, CSP (2009)

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Richard J. Avdoian, MS, MSW, CSP
Dads Divorce Coach
Located in Metro St. Louis, Richard works men who are in the divorce process and with men who are committed to living healthy lives, enhancing their personal relationships and achieve their goals.  Richard can be reached at Richard@RichardAvdoian.com

Richard Avdoian is an employee development expert who works with businesses and associations committed to recruit, train and retain highly motivated productive employees. He has worked with clients in over forty different industries providing programs and consulting services in the area of personal achievement, teamwork, and customer service.

Richard Avdoian formed TeamWork By Design, a consulting firm in 1995 and he is a nationally recognized speaker who offers keynote speeches, workshops, and executive & business coaching.

In July, 2003 he received the designation of Certified Speaking Professional (C.S.P.) from the National Speakers Association and International Federation for Professional Speakers, the highest earned level of excellence attainable in the industry and a distinction representing the top 10 percent of all members of the profession.

In October, 2006 he was honored by Niagara County Community College and inducted into the Distinguished Alumni Gallery in recognition for his personal and professional accomplishments and community service.

Drawing on his 26 years in private practice as a psychotherapist, Richard founded the Illinois Men’s Institute and Voyager Experience to challenge and inspire individuals to achieve a healthier balance in life, enhance relationships and reach their full potential.

He received his A.A. degree in liberal arts from Niagara County Community College, B.A. degree in sociology & minority studies and master degree in counseling from Niagara University, New York. He also earned a master degree in social work from Washington University, St. Louis, Missouri.

© Richard J. Avdoian, MS, MSW, CSP (2009)

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