Dealing With Her New Boyfriend In My Life

Question: My ex wife has primary physical custody of my 2 children ages 10 and 6 , she states that I have no choice but to deal with the boyfriend dropping off and picking up my kids from my house. I do not agree with this. Do you have any advice as to how I can handle the uncomfortable situation of the new boyfriend further injecting himself into my life and my children’s lives?


Answer: Unless your custody orders specify the details as to the exchange or transportation of the children, each parent is expected to exercise their parental authorities in a manner that is in the best interests of the children.  Absent physical or emotional harm to your children from the boyfriend being involved, you may be limited in how you can address the issue. You may be able to pursue a modification of the orders to change the exchange point or time, or the transportation.  While a judge may find that the extent of the boyfriend’s involvement is inappropriate, the judge’s remedy may be for you to provide all the transportation to and from your ex’s home.  You should consult a domestic litigation firm, such as Cordell & Cordell, as to what your options may be under the laws of your state.



Richard Coffee is a Litigation Manager in the Belleville Illinois office of Cordell & Cordell. He is an experienced divorce attorney whose practice is devoted to domestic litigation. He is licensed in the State of Illinois and is admitted to practice law in the U.S. District Courts for Northern, Central and Southern Illinois.

Mr. Coffee has extensive domestic litigation trial experience representing clients in courts throughout Illinois on all aspects of domestic litigation, including the representation of clients who are current or retired military personnel with issues under the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act and the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act, clients involved in state court jurisdictional disputes due to the relocation of one or both parties from or to Illinois, and clients with government or private pension benefit valuation and division issues.

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