Ask A Lawyer: The Mother Card



My wife left me and the 5 children, filed for divorce, moved into a studio apartment, bought a small sports car that does not seat enough (5 children).

Now she expects me to move closer to her new life, or she says she will fight me for full custody.

How much weight does the "mother card" carry?




Moms and Dads are equally important in their children’s lives and they have equal rights to parent their children.  However, as you suggest, the “mother card” still carries weight in some courts. 

The law does not provide this advantage to Moms, rather some attorneys and judges operate with starting point that children are better served living with mothers.  The better starting point is at a place that evaluates the best interests of the children and then looks at the facts and circumstances of each parent to decide with whom the children will be better served.  Based on the facts you provided above, it seems like for you children that would be with you. 

With some judges you’ll have a harder time overcoming the bias.  This is why it’s important to work with an attorney who is familiar with the judges that may be assigned to your case, and usually that’s an attorney who practices exclusively or primarily in family law. 


Claudia J. Weaver is an Associate Attorney with Cordell & Cordell, P.C., in Overland Park, Kansas. Ms. Weaver practices exclusively in the area of domestic relations.

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One comment on “Ask A Lawyer: The Mother Card

    No Win Situation
    My experience has taught me that the “Mother” card carries ALL the weight. Unless you are willing to give up your children, you will comply to just about anything and that is what she will demand…Just about anything. The lawyers should/would tell you that if it goes in front of a judge, it’s like Russian roulette but instead of only 1 bullet, there are 5 only, the lawyers will get all the money setting up for a fight that you will finally back down from because you can’t risk “losing” any custody or visitation of the children you love. I sound bitter because I am.

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