Single dads who are looking for some informative reading can check out Honoree Corder’s book, “The Successful Single Dad.”
Reinforced by The Successful Single Dad blog, where Corder posts fairly regularly and makes announcements about events, this handbook is a great tool for those trying to figure out how to make life work with kids, a newly (or not-so-newly divorced status) and other obligations.
As a former single parent, a well-established author, mentor and more, Corder has a treasure trove of knowledge regarding divorce, how to help kids during divorce and how to get one’s life back on track.
NOTE: DadsDivorce will hold a book giveaway for one copy of Corder’s “The Successful Single Dad.” All entries should be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org by Tuesday, May 27, 2014 at 12 pm Central Time. The winner will be chosen randomly and announced the following day on Wednesday, May 28, 2014.
Read this excerpt from Chapter Eight, “Your Attitude Will Make You.”
Choosing to Show Up
When we’re in charge of our attitude, we don’t use the victim’s inner dialogue: “I have to show up but I don’t want to.” Instead we speak about “choosing to and wanting to show up to do our best.” Choice is a function that involves considering the risks, consequences, and one’s commitments before deciding how to act. Choice is an act that ends ambivalence and procrastination and calls for a focused effort to achieve an objective. It automatically puts you in a leadership-of-self role and perspective.
Keep in mind the speed of the leader is the speed of the pack. Your attitude, as the leader, determines the attitude of anyone and everyone around you – including your children! I love the answering machine message of one of my favorite people, her message ends: “Is your attitude worth catching? If so, leave me a message. If not, call me back when it is!”
I recently heard something interesting: an army of sheep led by a lion will defeat an army of lions led by a sheep every time. Who you are being, how you choose to show up, determines your success, your stress level, who you have and don’t have in your life…and ultimately your bottom line.
When your child gets sick (again), when there’s another challenge with your ex-wife, friend or (former) brother-in-law, or when loss or illness disrupts you personally, you’re still expected to carry on. To consistently deliver – regardless of the setting and circumstances – you’ll need something more powerful than the old “grin and bear it” technique. You’ll need to support yourself with the safety of effective self-coaching, rapidly shift to a leadership-of-self role and perspective, and choose to show up to demonstrate that you truly are a force to reckon with and a fantastic dad to boot! When you use these skills, you’ll be in control of your attitude. The results, I am positive, will delight you.
Repeat after me: “I can do it!”