While divorce causes great upheaval in the lives of the two people who are separating, it is also imperative to remember what kind of trauma it can be be to young children.
Whether your divorce is taking place in New York or Los Angeles, you’ll find that some factors remain the same no matter where you are.
Children do not have the tools or the experience to process a divorce the same way that adults do, so consider these tips to help your children get through what, for them, can be a very scary time.
Consider a Men’s Divorce Lawyer
If you suspect that your children will be a major factor in your divorce, whether it is due to custody issues or trust fund issues, be sure to contact a lawyer who is skilled in family law.
Family law is meant to ensure the well-being of the most vulnerable family members, and finding a lawyer who has a great deal of experience in this area is essential.
Talk With Your Children
When you are going through a divorce, it is easy to go quiet. Because you are consumed by the business of a divorce, you may not notice that your children are not being as lively or as communicative as they were before.
Talk with your children, not only about your divorce but about what is going on in their lives. Divorce often encourages people to cut communication ties, and that is something that should be avoided when it comes to your children.
Consider Professional Help
You may not have the tools to help your children get through a divorce, but that does not mean that they are not out there. If things seem overwhelming, or if your children seem unresponsive to what you are trying, consider professional help.
Therapists, counselors and support groups can all play a big part in helping your children recover from a divorce.
Treat Your Children as Children
Divorce can be a very rough time for you, and it is natural for you to seek comfort where you can find it.
However, it is important to remember that your children are children and that relying on them to provide you with support is a bad idea. Children who are pushed too soon into adult roles do have emotional problems later on.
If your children are young, do not let them fill an adult role in your life. You are still their caretaker, so be sure that you act like one.
Divorce may change the relationship that you have with your spouse, but it does not change the relationship that you have with your children. However, because your children are young and inexperienced in the world, they do not necessarily know this!
Talk with your children and confirm this for them. Let them know that you still love them, that you will still support them and that their other parent will as well. If there are some changes coming up, give them as much warning as possible. The more information they have to work with, the better.
Be Polite About the Other Spouse
Divorce is something that can be very hurtful. Though you might be tempted to tell your child the “truth” about their other parent, remember that you should keep your negative feelings to yourself.
Of course this changes if you feel the other spouse is unsafe for your child; if that is the case, you do need to make this clear to your divorce lawyer and to proceed from there.
Divorce is not easy on anyone, so do what you can to make it less painful for your children.
Article courtesy of Myburgh Law P.C.