Question:
I am concerned for my son’s mental and physical well-being and want to know how to address medical issues if I am not the custodial parent.
He recently had surgery and since then he has been desperate for me, crying every time I leave and all week while he’s at his mother’s house. I want to find out why he is behaving so different and erratic, but my ex-wife is the parent responsible for education and medicine decisions.
If I take him to a doctor without her consent, I likely will be in trouble for disobeying the court order, though.
What are my options to get him help?
Answer:
I am unable to give you legal advice on divorce. I can give general divorce help for men, though, my knowledge is based on Nebraska divorce laws where I am licensed to practice.
Your concerns are valid, both for protecting your son and for concerns of being held in contempt for violating the court order. However, if you believe your son is in immediate danger or being abused, you have both an obligation and a right to report the same.
This does not necessarily mean taking a child to a psychologist or psychiatrist, but rather reporting your concerns to a child protective agency. These agencies can include hotlines through the state or through child victim programs with your local law enforcement.
If your spouse refuses to allow your son to attend an appointment with a child psychologist, after you have requested the same, and if your state does not allow you to take him to receive anything other than emergency medical treatment, you would be best to consult an attorney to possibly modify your divorce decree and/or parenting plan based on a change of circumstances and the best interests of your son.
Where I practice, this material change in circumstances, i.e. one parent’s refusal to seek what you consider necessary medical care, may warrant a temporary, if not permanent, change in the current court order. Such a modification would allow you to seek the care necessary for your son without risking being held in contempt of the current court order.
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Many states do not allow one parent to conceal medical records. In addition, those states allow both parents to have access to the same, including attendance at appointments, or even making one’s own appointment to discuss issues with a doctor without the child present.
Therefore, although your ex-spouse may be the custodial parent for medical care, it does not necessarily mean you cannot ask the medical provider questions, or obtain the medical records for your review.
Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than divorce tips for men, so please consult with a divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction.
To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Omaha, Nebraska Divorce Lawyer Jamie Kinkaid, contact Cordell & Cordell.
mr.
this sounds like me. with my special needs son.my threw my son in a mental hospitol,refused to visit and had him loaded on meds.they experamented and almost killed him.he was abused in a foster home where the fostermom abused her position of a fostercare employee.this is second abuse of my child his grandmother was acussed by both my sons and they kept me away with threats of her position.she was a former deputy sheriff who trianed her cousin to be sheriff and warned he would let her do anything she wanted.my son endured 3 years of abuse while i lived on the streets because of the false threats and accusations by my ex and her mother.i finally got my own place and the courts came through and the foster agency surprisingly agreed along with wefare.and my son is now living a comfortable life with me.while his mother married a married man in prison for hitting his wife.un both abuse cases my son got no justice.inspite of bruises head to toe in both cases the sheriff said they couldn’t substaniate abuse.in one case you have both children claiming abuse.and the other you had bruises head to toe.my question is what substantiates abuse?