A frequent issue divorced dads face this time of year is what to do when the other parent cuts their holiday parenting time short.
This is a common problem because of the hectic nature of most family’s holiday schedule. Your ex-wife might have relatives come into town at the last minute and want to keep the kids longer.
Every divorce decree should contain specific provisions about the possession of children during major holidays, but those are sometimes ignored.
Ideally in a co-parenting scenario, you and your spouse can be cooperative and flexible enough to work out an arrangement in the children’s best interest. If that’s not possible, there are additional actions you can take.
The most essential step you need to take is to get everything down in writing. It doesn’t matter if it’s handwritten notes, email or text messages, get your agreed upon holiday schedule written down. That is the most key piece of evidence in possession disputes.
Also make sure you have a clear understanding of your parenting time schedule well in advance of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Review the schedule and confirm with your ex-wife your understanding of the days and times you are slated to have the kids.
If you know in advance that your ex plans to violate your parenting time, try to get some proof. At the start of your scheduled parenting time, send her an email or text message stating that you plan on taking legal action if she doesn’t bring you the kids.
Obviously, there are scenarios where nothing can be done ahead of time. Your former spouse might not give you any indication of her intent, but simply refuse to return the children at the agreed upon time.
In that case, you’ll likely need to file an enforcement action after she has committed the violation. Unfortunately, since most courts are closed on and near major holidays, you will be forced to wait until after the holidays to present a motion.
But if you are able to gather advance notice that your ex plans on violating your parent time, you might be able to seek emergency protection from the courts in advance.
As soon as you have evidence of her intentions, contact your attorney immediately.
The holidays should be the happiest time of the year for you and your kids. You need to take as many precautions as possible to make sure you’re able to enjoy it with them.
“visitation specifics”
This will be a tough fight and require patience on your part. Make a record of dates that you are not able to see them as stated in the decree. Write, as in handwrite letters to your children, make copies, put in a binder by month. Call the local police and sheriff, they won’t enforce the decree by the way, but getting a police report will maybe help.
My experience is that the Judge will not consider the police reports as evidence unless the police/sheriff is subpoenaed.
File a motion to enforce(have her/him served),and the “Motion to Set”.(This will be abut 45 days later.) You can file the Motion and Motion to set yourself. Everyone will advise you to get an attorney. Just have your calendar and all documentation on attempts to see your children! DON’T GIVE UP!
Fathers especially need to form a protest on local Family Courts and State Attorney Generals’ to change the child custody, child support laws.
Mr.
What if ‘visitation’ specifics are all in writing, finalized divorce decree, but still not observed, e.g my two teenage sons are to see me every week, stay with me every other weekend and spend holidays every other year. Two years later none of this has happened – my alienating ex has stated “it’s their choice; you left us.” So, what now? After two years I’ve been effectively alienated by my ex and one of the boys: no visits, no court ordered family counseling – nada. Now what