My Ex-Wife Keeps Violating The Morality Clause

morality clauseQuestion:

Our divorce decree has a morality clause that states that neither party is allowed to have a member of the opposite sex spend the night when our daughter is staying there, but my ex-wife keeps ignoring this and says there is nothing I can do.

Is there anything I can do to get her to follow the decree?


I am not licensed to practice law in your state. Therefore, I cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state and can only provide you with general information regarding your situation.

Virginia Beach divorce attorney Jonah Dickey
Virginia Beach divorce attorney Jonah Dickey

In Virginia, where I practice, if your ex-wife is not abiding by the court order, you would be able take her back to court and ask the judge to find her in contempt.

This is usually a good time to file a motion or petition to review the custody and visitation orders if you are wanting more time with your daughter. However, these rules and procedures are state-specific, so it would be advisable to consult with an attorney licensed in your state to find out what your options are.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Virginia divorce lawyer Jonah Dickey, contact Cordell & Cordell.

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5 comments on “My Ex-Wife Keeps Violating The Morality Clause

    Seriously? In this day and age you think you can control a woman and prevent her from sleepnig with new guys or having relationships. Grow up, get over it, move on. This is only a problem if the guys are constantly changing.

    Most professionals think a new person should not be introduced to young (2-13 years old I would think) children until the relationship is 4-6 months old to prevent kids seeing new people all the time. If this is the case then I might agree more time with you is warranted, but 50-50 time is almost always best for children, that is a prove fact. Social pathologies in children in sole custody go up 14,600%!

    Of course a lawyer says the answer is litigation, and likely will reject my comment (practical, not legal) but the court system is NEVER the answer. It is the problem, profiting from family destruction and like a bulldozer making an omlett. We must reform family court and use mediation and arbitration the legal system is horribly inefficient and basically a scam in divorce today. It is collapsing, but far too slowly.

    Bobs an idiot. The issue isn’t about preventing the ex-wife from having a new relationship but protecting the children. There have been MANY instances of rape or molestation of children by their mom or dads new significant other. Additionally, divorce creates instability and having someone spend the night only adds to that and creates resentment. Think of the kids Bob, seriously.

    Sounds like SOL.

    What may end up happening years later with conflicts in the moral compass like the one described will need to be sorted out by a therapist or counselor, court appointed of course, with no regard to the real costs, financial or otherwise.

    Unless the state has some aggressive laws regarding morality clauses, a fair amount of judges will simply discard the clause on the first motion for contempt. They may or may not find her in contempt, but they will take away the ability for you to continue to return to court over this. This is especially true if they don’t shift custody your direction at the same time. A fair number of judges consider morality clauses attempts at controlling the behavior of the other spouse after divorce, and frown on them. I would get some good legal advice before doing this. I would also consider whether there is any real harm being done. Your ex-wife and you both have different moral compasses, and you both would have been presenting those morals to your daughter if you stayed married. Why should it be any different now.

    I have a gripe. I notice that the disclaimer to all of the Q&A is “I am not licensed to practice law in your state. Therefore, I cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state and can only provide you with general information regarding your situation.” Sometimes this helps and sometimes it does not. Why not get an answer from a lawyer in the particular state to which the question applies? It can be frustrating to ask a question, and get an answer, but have the question still not be answered.

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