Parenting Advice: Kids Want My Gifts But Not Me

advice on divorceQuestion:

I am in search of parenting advice on divorce.

My kids have decided they no longer want to live with me and our child custody schedule has switched so they live with their mom most of the time.

They still want me to give them computers and iPods I bought for them and have kept at my house. It’s sad they care more about their possessions than me.

Do I have to give them the gifts? Could I just keep them for when they come to my house for visitation?


This answer only includes general divorce help for men since I am only licensed to practice in Oklahoma and am thus unable to provide legal advice on divorce.

Legally, you do not have to send them their things. However, it’s probably not a good idea to deny a child anything that they may need for day to day life, such as clothes, shoes, and toiletries, just because you don’t want them to have those things while they’re with the other parent or you’re upset they wanted to live with their mother.

So if they’re asking for things like that, you should probably send them along. If they need the computers for school work and they don’t have computers with their mother, you might consider sending those, too.

As for the iPods, they may feel like they need them to survive, but they don’t, and you don’t have to let them have them.

I assume you’re still exercising some visitation with the kids so they can have their iPods and computers when they come see you. If they really value their possessions that much, it may provide some incentive for them to come spend time with you.

Be the best father you can be to them and they’ll likely come back around.

Should you seek additional information or divorce advice, please consult a divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction.

To set up an appointment with a Cordell and Cordell mens divorce attorney, including Oklahoma City Divorce Lawyer Christian D. Barnard, please contact Cordell & Cordell.

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