By Matt Allen
Editor, DadsDivorce.com
Lance Looney has put together a book whose purpose is to help divorced dads and families “put love into practice.” The i like book is straightforward and simple: write down in the book what you like about your kids. Write, share, repeat.
It’s a simple way to keep positive messages in someone’s life every day. I talked with Looney about the i like book and how a sentence a day can change lives.
Note: As a bonus to DadsDivorce.com readers, the i like book is being offered for 40% off the retail price! Just go to the i like book website to order and at checkout enter the code cooldad to receive the discount.
DadsDivorce: What is the history behind the book? Where did this idea come from?
Lance Looney: I first got married 7 years ago. We took marriage counseling classes and read the book and what it all got down to was remembering to say something nice to the person you love as much as you can. My wife and I both worked for an airline so we flew a lot and were separated often. So we would leave sticky notes everywhere for each other when we were apart.
Then when we had kids we started doing it for them. What happens when you look for something you like, it helps with focusing on positive feelings. And it feels so good to have something positive said about you. So we decided to create it into a book.
What’s the message people should be getting out of this book?
It’s going to be different for everybody in every situation. The iLike book is really about seeing the beauty in every person and child.
And why is that message so important?
I just think in today’s world if we look at it from a macro perspective, there’s just not enough positive. It’s so easy to point out the negative and it’s hard to point out the positive. Why would you want a good relationship when a great one is out there? The I Like book shows the simple brick-by-brick approach to life.
So how do people use the book? What’s the process?
We structured it for two parents so whatever the situation is at home whether married, single, or divorced there’s a spot for the mom and dad. In the book, the parent writes about what they like about the child.
You don’t have to do it everyday. Whether you do 20 entries a year or 365 at some point those entries could be the difference with a child when they get in a peer pressure situation or are being made fun of and they know they have parents who love and support them. So that’s why we strongly urge people to use it the moment the child comes into their life.
So this book is helpful for the divorced dad to stay emotionally connected to his kids that he may not see as much post-divorce.
Absolutely, a lot of divorced dads tell me that it gives them some way to let their children know they are thinking of them even when they’re not in his presence. Let’s say the dad has the book and he writes in it every day when he’s not around his kids. Well when the children come to visit on the weekend, he shows them the book and what he’s been writing, it really is an amazing vehicle to have a nice natural interaction with their kids.
A lot of dads who only get to see their kids on weekends or something feel like they have to take them to a ballgame or do a lot of big ticket activities and this brings it back to a natural relationship between a parent and a child.
Is there a final point you’d like to make?
You know life is tough and the world is moving so fast with new technology that this book brings back authentic communication and a natural way of telling your kids what you love about them. It’s an amazing vehicle to capture memories.
And kids love this idea because it’s about them. It’s as simple as your kids just want to hear what you like about them. It’s really about making whatever situation you’re involved in as healthy as possible.
Note: As a bonus to DadsDivorce.com readers, the i like book is being offered for 40% off the retail price! Just go to the i like book website to order and at checkout enter the code cooldad to receive the discount.
An author, entrepreneur and father of two active boys, Lance J. Looney has helped strengthen the lives of children, parents and couples through his ground-breaking daily book, the i like book.
After graduating from Northern Iowa University and spending many years in corporate America, Lance has set out on a journey to help people create “fantastic relationships” by promoting a back-to-the-basics philosophy of positive attention and moments of meaningful reflection with loved ones.
