Ten Things You Can Do To Sabotage Your Custody Battle

custody battle

Compiled by Cordell & Cordell Divorce Attorneys For Men

The divorce process is usually very difficult and trying for anyone experiencing it. These difficult times often cause a person to act or react irrationally and in ways that detrimentally affect his or her case.

You should be aware prior to court proceedings that the court will evaluate your behavior in its entirety throughout the proceedings and always behave accordingly.

Below are some of the factors judges consider when making a child custody determination along with the 10 most common mistakes made by men during custody battles.

Best Interest Of The Child Standard

To determine how not to behave during this process it is helpful to review the criteria used by the judge (“court”) to determine appropriate placement of the children. The court is charged with the responsibility of evaluating the situation to determine what placement and parenting time is in the child’s best interest.

Some of the considerations include but are not limited to:

a) The length of time that the child has been under the actual care and control of any person other than a parent and the circumstances relevant thereto;

b) the desires of the parents as to residence-agreements reached by the parents and submitted to the court are usually presumed to be in the child’s best interest;

c) the interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests;

d) the child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community;

e) the willingness and ability of each parent to respect and appreciate the bond between the child and the other parent and to allow for a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent;

f) any evidence or allegation of spousal abuse;

g) any evidence or allegation of child abuse on this or any other child;

h) whether either parent is required to register as a sex offender;

i) whether a parent is residing with a person who is required to register as a sex offender;

j) whether a parent has been convicted of abuse of a child;

k) whether a parent is residing with a person who has been convicted of abuse of a child

Watch Your Behavior

Whether you are fighting to be the primary residential parent or for weekend visits with your children the evaluation process by the court will encompass all of your behavior.

In particular, expect your children’s mother to point out all negative behavior. If you behave as though the judge were standing next to you each time you interact with the children or their mother, you will certainly avoid the pitfalls that will reduce your custody chances.

In reviewing the following list of things not to do, keep in mind the fact that children are wonderful mimics. You should expect your children to tell their mother everything you tell them. Knowing this, you should be aware of things said to the children or around the children that relate to their mother.

Conversations As Evidence

You should also anticipate your children’s mother hiding a tape recorder on or near her person when you interact. Recorded telephone conversations are common during divorce proceedings. In such cases, words spoken out of anger and frustration quickly become the rope that hangs the speaker.

Technically, such recordings should not be permissible but some courts will hear them for the purpose of evaluating a parent’s intentions and mental state. Do not be caught on tape saying things you would not say with the judge present. It should go without saying that any e-mail or text message correspondence can be easily handed to the judge for review so fits within the same admonition. The admission of such written lapses in judgment is much easier since you clearly knew it was documented at the time.

This list is not exhaustive but includes some of the most common mistakes made by men during child custody battles.

Child Custody Laws:

Will I Get Custody?


  1. Alienation of Affection: Children thrive best in a two parent household whenever possible. If a parent makes it a habit to put down the other parent, the children feel torn and forced to choose one parent over the other.

This is very frustrating and confusing for the children. Judges are quite familiar with the damage this behavior can cause and are extremely intolerant when this behavior occurs. The two most common forms of alienation of affection that get dads into trouble are: criticizing mom around the kids and keeping the children from mom in any way.

  • Yell at wife and/or children: As covered above, assume all conversations are being recorded. When you yell at your wife or your children it often gives the appearance that you are being abusive or bullying them. Men are in a distinct position in this society where they are presumed to be dominating and more powerful then women (and of course children).That being the case, women are in a position to claim they are afraid of their husband or the father of their children. Whether their fear is authentic or not, the court takes such allegations very seriously. Do not give her any ammunition for the court. A tape recording of a telephone conversation or an in-person argument will appear to the court to demonstrate you losing control and possibly becoming dangerous.

    No matter how hard it becomes, fight the urge to yell at your wife or your children. If that becomes a general rule you will not need to worry about such behavior impeding you in court.

  • common divorce mistakesHave a physical confrontation with wife and/or children: Making physical contact with another person in a harmful or offensive manner is a crime. Some states call that crime “battery” others refer to it as “assault”. Whatever the term, it is criminal. You cannot very well care for your children from jail. No matter how upset you become during these proceedings, you must not make physical contact with your wife or children when you are angry.If this is something that has occurred in the past, you need to acknowledge that you are susceptible to such behavior and leave the area when you become upset. It is much better to walk away from an argument then to be in a position where you have little or no time with your children or such time is supervised by a stranger.

    There are many women who are abusive toward their husbands. It is no less a crime for a woman to be physically abusive toward you or your children. If you feel such a situation is going to occur, you should attempt to leave the area. If you feel the children are in danger, you obviously would not leave them alone with her at that time.

    If she hits, pushes, punches, or otherwise makes contact with you in an offensive way while she is angry, you need to call the police. Such behavior should be reported. The police will treat her the same way they would have treated you and she will go to jail. Legislation related to domestic violence has increased over the last few years and law enforcement no longer treats it as a family dispute.

    Judges take these matters very seriously as well because physical violence between parents is very confusing and upsetting to children. Studies have shown that children who witness domestic violence from an early age suffer developmental challenges as well as life-long emotional problems.

  • Move in with a significant other: Divorce is a difficult time for children. It is hard for them to grasp the idea that their parents’ love for each other can simply end. Things are even more difficult when it becomes clear that the love transferred to a person that is not the child’s mother. Courts are reluctant to expose children to such truths. Judges do not appreciate children being exposed to significant others while a divorce is proceeding.In addition, children are unlikely to be comfortable around the new woman and may refuse to stay overnight or even visit your home if she is there. That will certainly prevent you from having a healthy relationship with your children. Until the divorce is final-and even for a while after-do not expose the children to a new woman.
  • Criticize mother to friends, family, case worker, or guardian ad litem: Keep in mind that your friends now are likely friends that were shared by both parties at one time. You should expect friends to still talk to both parties. Assume comments you make will get back to your wife.If a case worker or guardian ad litem is assigned to your case, be aware that they are looking intently for signs of alienation of affection. Do not let them see it coming from you. Focus on the good relationship you have with your children and how well you communicate. Do not waste time criticizing their mother. That is easily misinterpreted as alienation of affection.

    Caveat: if the children’s mother is involved in illegal drug use or otherwise engaging in behavior that is dangerous to the children, this should be brought to the attention of the case worker or guardian ad litem and closely investigated. Be certain you have some form of unbiased evidence before making such allegations or you again run into the problem of appearing to be trying to alienate the children from their mother.

  • Fail to pay child support: If the court enters an order of support and you choose to ignore it that is considered contempt of court. If the judge makes a finding that you are in contempt, you may be fined or even jailed for such behavior.As a general rule, the judges feel that paying child support is more important then any other financial obligations. Failure to pay child support appears to the court as your lack of respect for the court and lack of concern for your children. Obviously it costs money to raise children.

    Child support amounts are set using several variables to determine what it will take for the child to continue to survive as the child had prior to the break up. You may hire an experienced mens divorce attorney to fight the support amounts ordered if you have good cause, but until the court orders otherwise, you are responsible for paying child support as ordered.

    If ordered to pay your wife directly, always do this by check and save the receipts from the bank showing these checks cleared. Your wife may later deny receiving cash payments.

Prosecuting Child Support:

Advice From A Former Prosecutor


  • Damage property belonging to mom or her family: Property damage is often a sign of aggression that is building up in a person. Not only will the court make you pay to replace any damaged property, the court may also see you as a threat to your children due to such behavior.


  • Deny telephone contact with mom when the children are with you: This relates back to the earlier topic on alienation of affection but may not always be as obvious. Even if you have limited time with a child such as a couple hours a week, you must allow that child to call mom when requested.In addition, if she calls to check on the child you need to be polite and allow her to talk to the child unless that would cause disruption or the child is sleeping. Keep in mind that such calls from mom must be reasonable. Children should feel free to communicate with either parent at any time.

    If your wife denies you contact with your children when you call, be sure to keep a journal of the dates and times so the court may address it if it becomes a problem. You should expect your wife is keeping a similar journal.

  • Take kids out of the area without warning mom in advance: If you have a family vacation or reunion planned outside the metropolitan area in which you live, be sure that you have notified their mother before you take the children. Many parents reach agreement about vacation times with the children so that each parent has an opportunity to spend a week or two out of town with the kids.If you leave the area without notifying your wife, it may appear you are attempting to kidnap the children. That could result in her obtaining emergency orders restricting or terminating your parenting time or custody. If at all possible, try to notify her in writing two weeks in advance so there will be no confusion when the time comes.
  • Remove children from school or daycare without notice to mom: Temporary orders will usually designate parenting time but rarely includes the time when the child is at school or in daycare. If the school allows you to visit the children over lunch or other times you should freely do so as long as it is not a distraction. You should never remove the children from school or daycare if you are not the primary custodian.Even if you are the primary custodian, the children should remain in school or daycare unless you have a good reason to remove them. Expect your wife to bring the judge a printout from the school that will show tardies and absences while the children are in your care. If you are not primary custodian, removal from school or daycare may appear that you are kidnapping the children and could result in serious restriction or full termination of your parenting time.

There are no guaranteed ways to win a child custody battle but avoiding the above mistakes can at least keep you in the battle.

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84 comments on “Ten Things You Can Do To Sabotage Your Custody Battle

    During my divorce I have accused of everything under the sun and have not retaliated. The result is that I have limited custody. Your advice is probably right in an unjust society that consistently looks for people who will take it in favor or those who will not. It is sad that all the advice here is essentially — Dad’s if you want to see your kids turn your other cheek so that you can get slapped around some more. What is needed is a political fight that puts an end to the big business of divorce and marriage. Removing money from the system will result in equality. Band together men and replace the political leaders who support the unjust system of enslaving one person to benefit another.

    You are so right. And just so you know, it’s not only the men who lose to the corrupt chauvinistic and biased justice system. Woman do too. I’m on the other end of the snakes. If you are an emotional loving caring mother and your husband tells lies, you’re automatically guilty before considered innocent. He has the money the great job and the attorney. Therefore, divorce is hell. Think of life without your kids. Just a day away (sharing) makes it all NOT worth it. Don’t pay. Stay with your wives! Marriage should be a sacred commitment and your kids deserve better. Suck it up and follow it through for theirs and your sakes.

    You are extremely correct. The court system does not care about the father’s rights….YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS UNDER ANY PARENTING AGREEMENT. The court system has destroyed me. I have 42 counts pending against my x wife that have been completely ignored by the guardian ad lidem. Friday my x called me 17 times to say good night to our child…he was notified and ignored it….intead, he put a time limit for when phone calls can be made….the time limit occurs while I’m at work! My child is manipulated constantly….I video tape it and submit it to the GAL….he reports back to me my actions are inappropriate….guess what…the court only looks at factual evidence; lawyers hate factual evidence! If my daughter is going to be manipulated emotionally and psychologically, I’m recording what she says and submitting it. I’ve had it with this court system! Father’s right’s.? Really? YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS….get used to it because the politicians and the judicial system are making TONS OF MONEY ON THIS!

    I am a woman and I agree that men have to suck it up overall and still get scrutinized in the end. I have watched my husband get the blame for EVERYTHING even things he has not had any involvement in regarding his two kids. On top of that there is a paper trail a mile long showing that the mother is an unfit mother and yet the courts keep catering to her and now there is a huge mess for my husband and I to clean up. It is frustrating to see how the courts like to blame the dads for everything when it takes two to make the kids and TWO parents to take care of them in every aspect…mentally, emotionally, physically and last and certainly not least FINANCIALLY!!! Yet again I feel the courts love to enable so many mothers to use her kids as a financial asset to getting ahead in life, trust me I have watched it first hand over the years, it is sickening and ultimately destructive not only to the kids’ future but any other family or kids involved. I feel the courts need to wake up and see that the old sterotype of dead beat dads have shifted more to the reality of money grubbing mothers!!!

    Yes I agree with you. My partner and I are trying to bring up a baby in a settled and calming environment yet my first wife never sticks to the court order for my oldest son. She is constantly taking drugs, out partying or working 12hour shifts. Yet in the eyes of the csa and courts it is her who supports our son even though he is with us the majority of the time. He is constantly being let down by an unfit mother and yet it is always the father who is automatically presumed to be the guilty one. My solicitor has not been much help as without sufficient evidence, thousands to waste in court fees or the ability to want to create such an awkward situation for my son as to drag his mother through the courts, I am left feeling powerless. To make matters worse I’ve just found out it is pointless to save any money up or look at taking out a mortgage as my wife refuses to sign any clean break settlement for financial settlement. I only got married the first time so I could do the right thing for my son but in the end could not cope with a woman who got constantly drunk built up huge debts wwasing every penny on expensive clothes, nights out and cocaine. I just never had the heart to shop her to the police and I eventually walked out and left her.

    I agree with you. No money grubbing on my exes part. She didn’t have to dig like a grub worm. She simply didn’t wear makeup, wore old clothes and looked pitiful. She makes 5 times,more Money than I do and yet she smiles. She got married this weekend so she will have even more money to spend on herself. When my son comes to visit with dirty underwear and socks with holes, she’s making enough. I’m so sick of the judicial system automatically awarding these type women momey they don’t deserve. I have tried to gain custody, she won’t hear of it. Says I’m a bad father. Someday it will be better for fathers. I can’t wait.

    Courts Need to Wake Up!
    I couldn’t agree more with the 2 previous comments. My husband’s ex will stop at nothing to disparage him to anyone who will listen – his family, the children, friends and not least of all the courts. GREED is her middle name as she hauls him in to court to pay for the decisions she unilaterally makes even when he disagrees such as high end private schools, trips abroad, high end computers and more. Why have a court ordered agreement that stipulates that the parents need to make joint decisions about the children, their education, health care etc. when she can do whatever she wants and my husband is on the hook financially. We are not wealthy by any stretch and the court, although they say they don’t take into account my income, they absolutely do! They have said that my husband has “access to other resources since he has a spouse who works”. So, basically they are saying that I can pay and just repackaging it a different way. Whoever is responsible for creating these laws and the views that the courts have was deranged! On top of all that one of the kids who is a teenager, hates my husband, sends him horrible emails and texts calling him names, swearing at him etc., and he can do nothing except continue to write checks! This must be what insanity really is.

    I’ve never went thru a battle with my OWN child. But a male family member is going thru it. The mother is found in contempt of court more than 10 times, and she still has sole custody. We all know the child is being coached. The child makes comments that make our mouth drop. Ex. She replies to her grandmother(her father’s mom) “I only have one memmy and pappy” the mother takes one bobo and tries to say she being abused. The whole situation is horrible for the child to go thru. Don’t get me started with child support. I praise to all u dads that try for ur child(ren).

    Here we are again. I am sick and tired of blaming men. This attitude of men bashing is not healthy and certainly not in the best interest of children. You are treating non-custodian male parent as a criminal. I thought your website is there to help dads connecting with their children. Let me tell you something, It’s truly unbelievable in a country like Canada, you can be separated from your children, alienated by the children’s mother and then she gets finance to fight you for years through the courts. What kind of sick, cruel legal system would allow this to happen?
    I believe the answer is always is money! Family lawyers intentionally inflame situations and then you have the judges who have the power, but lack the common sense and guts to stop these evil parents and letting the dads see their own children in an equal and just way.
    There is a movement in Canada that is growing increasingly frustrated and impatient and is starting to take matters into their own hands, to stop this cruel, state-sanctioned child abuse happening to our innocent children.
    Parental alienation is acknowledged and punished in other countries, so why can’t we act now and stamp it out here? It is time to stand up and make family laws fairer to stop child abuse being carried out and to promote shared parenting in the family courts so broken families can start to be repaired for the good of our communities.

    ok i just want to throw some thing out here,yes not all husbands and or dads are bad or deserve to be treated like this. but i am a mother of two beautiful boys and my husband,their father walks all over me like i am a door mat he has hit my oldest son before and me as well. no mind you i do have an active divorce case and i have an attorney, and i do plan on taking him on every thing but solely due to the four years of pure horror it has been being with him. his temper and attitude is so bad that my three year old son is showing the same poor attitude and behavior that his father has and quite honestly it scares the living hell out of me. now call me money hungry or greedy but some woman are actually abuse victims and any man that raises his hands to his children let alone his wife does not deserve to have children.

    Hi. My name is Ryan Gutierrez. I agree with you 500% . Any man that even raises his hands automatically is a red flag. Let alone hit his child and of course you as the mother of his child. He should get help and minimize the time spent with his children. My wife and I are going through a seperation but not a divorce and we have a 4 yr old girl and a 5 yr okd boy..they both love spending time with me as well as sleeping and staying the night with me.. it seems my wife is being manipulated by her sister to hold my children from seeing me because I put my wife’s mother in jail last year for leaving my children by themselves in our apartment while my wife’s mother slept upstairs in her apartment. ..so since ive dropped the charges last year my wife’s sister is trying to manipulate her to use my chikdren as a divorce weapon against me, and yet when I do get my kids and hear my kids tell me that when they tell my ex that they wana call me to talk to me they tell me she says no…and to go play while shes on her ipad going through facebook. My kids are 4 and 5 yrs old.. but they hear and see everything and ask questions and they tell me everything and yet I know its wrong that shes doing this and yet I still stick up for her and tell my kids that mommy knows im working so she cant always call me, but in reality I’m doing nothing and I would take any call from my kids. And when I call to speak with my kids she lies and tells me they are sleeping, when I know my kids sleeping habits.
    but no matter what I still have to respect the mother of my children and only hope one day she will realize her sister doesnt give a damn about our kids but only that I put there mother in jail for a light reason…and im still scared that one day when im working and I know she is working who is watching my kids at that moment when i know Stevie Wonder could watch kids better than my ex’s mother or sister..
    I only hope and wish that my wife’s sees the light and understands how important it is for BOTH parents to be involved in the kids lives no matter what…
    but I could never physically or mentally abuse the kids or the mother of my kids…its so emotionally scary for your own family and yes…you need police reports and get the Department of Children and Family Services . Put everything on record and have proof.
    but no matter what. Never talk negative about your ex to your kids. Your kids need to know both of you love them very much and its not your children’s fault. Communicate about everything your kids need not what you both want.
    good luck.
    Ryan Gutierrez

    I am divorcinga pretty bad guy. He is totally runnnghte show. he was abusiveto me in thepast–butnobody cares– ieven ahve pictures. iwastold that I married him so I guess I knew what kind of a man he was. He hitmy son and kicked him in htehead–my son told and nothing happened to him. My soon2bx shoved my son in the shower. it was a few years ago but it greatly affected my son and he still talks about it. When my son tolkd the hterapist and CPS about it–they did nothing!! All my stbx hasto say is tha I am makingit up and turninghte kidsagainst him. it goes both ways withthis kind of \deception. My stbx actaullly did the abuse and he claims it is bing made uip against him. He has been ableto twist everything around an dmake me look like the bad person when I have been teh primary care giver all along. he has been abusive (never called the cops) and lied and cheated adn none of that will be used agaisnt him. he has manufactored this entire case agaisnt me–that I am unfit, crazy, vindictive etc. Hehas spent a great deal of time creating thi case. none of it is true but he keeps filingstuff in the courts sayign I am ettactic, dangerous, vioent, and threateneing. BUT he left his children alone with me when he went to sty with is grlfriend. The attorneys buy him hook, line, and sinker.–even mine!! I am fearful hat the judge will believe him too. Not becuase hanything is tru–but because he knows how t organize everything and create a campaign agaisnt me as that is what he does for work. Not every girl screws teh guy. Often times–expecially with narcissists—the guy screwsteh gal, court and kids all in one show!

    my x husband was abusive and even admitted to it I was given a protective order and then he violated that one I was given a 2nd one. Well I didn’t pay for the court transcripts and he disappeared out of my children ‘s lives for 2 years because he didn’t want to be supervised by his mother or my parents to see his kids the court didn’t slap him on the hand or anything they gave him full unsupervised weekends and basically told me that I was harming my children by protecting them from being abused. My attorney who raped me financially turned around and said well you didn’t lose custody and I looked and him and said was that really ever in question. It is sick how much attorneys take on garbage and make the guilty look innocent and the innocent look guilty I’m done with them… Well until he tries to take me back to court again.

    Your stbx sounds like my. Do some research into sociopaths. It will help you with your case.

    I have been thinking this the entire I have been reading all these comments. Some of us are not money grubbing mothers. Some of us just want our exes to step up and be the father our children deserve. My soon to be ex husband stopped working and says there isn’t work for him at his commissioned based job so he won’t have to pay the full amount of child support. And he refuses to help with diapers and formula. Plus he wants to take our three month old to his mistresses house and I feel that’s very inappropriate.

    “Any man who raises his hand to his children let alone his wife does not deserve to have children”

    Shouldn’t that be ‘any person’? Or is it ok for mums to hit their kids and partners?

    It’s certainly much harder to get anyone to believe though and that’s for sure. My ex wife has hit me many times before, slapped, shoved, repeatedly kicked me in the genitals and guess what, when I finally got up the courage to speak to a police officer about it they laughed at me.

    But hey I guess I should just ‘man up’ and except that in this regard no one in society wants to accept that a mum can be the abuser and a man the victim.

    Oh and despite that I actually have some evidence of abuse towards the kids by her no one in the courts, police or children’s welfare wants to hear it.

    Still hopefully in 12 years when my son is an adult he will want to come find me and I can start helping him undo all the damage she is doing him.

    Till then. Justice. Equality. Fairness. Nothing but a sick joke.

    Protecting mother’s
    Yes, there maybe wonderful fathers and I am sure in the courts eyes there would have to be proof beyong reasonable doubt to seperate a mother from the child she nurtured and kept alive in her womb to produce a healthy child. Regardless, of what any of you have to say, “Don’t make a child if you will not even have the moral responsibility to raise the child in a loving home with both parents”. Everyone bickers but learn how to work it out or know who you lay down with before creating a child and trying to soley blame your issues on the court. Your the one who created this mess not our state legislatures. Let me give you some advice that I have taught my children always understand there are consequence behind your behavior and morally always do the right thing. As for the women who wants to butt her nose in the issues of her husband ex stay out of it. Really, you have some nerve this is not your child. You are only making matters worse. He is a big boy and I am pretty sure he does not nead a cheerleader in the background.

    It goes both ways. you say there “may be” as if you’re certain most are, for the most part, terrible fathers. Guess what, there “may be” wonderful moms out there, too. It’s possible, I guess, right??

    Lady you are wrong they do need a cheerleader. The system is broke and the courts do not have the best interest of the child at hand unless you want to explains the majority of convicts who had one parent was the mother. Using the matter that the incubator is more able is not true at all. Wake you blind person Shared Parenting has been proven time and time again the best solution to this broken system. Step parents are in the picture no matter what you say they have rights as well and are affected by abusive ex-wifes. Only because you are able to have a child does not make you the best pick to be a good parent. Real facts point to a dependable father being the best, but it takes two to raise a whole rounded person no matter my personal feelings and experiences aside.

    my mom is in a custody battle with her ex and he and his mother wont agree unless they get all the holodays and cristmas and her birthday so that leaves mum with school days and no holoday time with her can someone call me to give me advice to help mum with this court situation

    email: lukereeves8@gmail.com
    mobile: 0477460050

    so wrong
    what if you’re the mom and you wanted, and expected, it to be fair and as simple as possible, but then you get your husbands response and it’s one horrific lie after another? i’m completely blindsided by what he claimed i did in those papers. he said i’m violent, a drunk, i only buy beer and junkfood instead of food for the family, that i put an ad out so i could fulfill my fantasy of being in a threesome with two men, and that baby isn’t safe with me and he thinks i’ll hurt him. there has NEVER been any violence in our home, i don’t think i’ve ever raised my voice. i’m not a drinker, i put my husband and baby’s needs before my own, and i’m not some sex freak! he has a lawyer, i don’t and can’t afford one. i’m terrified and just sick. that baby is everything to me and i can’t be without him. why would he do this?

    Well to you all… Don’t come to Burlington Nj / family court system / the judges there are impartial and Bias / iam a mother of three one in college and my two little ones in private school did it all myself/ my ex stop being a dad/ stopped with everything / so I did without his help/ until I got hurt on my job and I needed support that’s when the ish went to full force/ this man can lie / has cheated / and abused me and our young daughter but this Judge Takes my kids and gives them to a reckless father and I had them since birth/ not to mention his multiple encounter with the law having Dui ‘ s / and I had to fight the whole system / burlington family court system is of a corrupt one and they don’t give a damn about family and if you report they do nothing but try and retaliate more/ but God is so good because I stood strong and got my babies back/ but it was hard I felt like I got shot through the heart/ it took my baby girl getting beat up by her dad for things to start turning around in my favor and its a shame/ these judges play God in other people homes and render decision that cause pain and emotional damage to our children and nothing is being done about it/ They system is a lucrative business in destroying homes that’s about filling there pockets forgetting about the child because it’s not ther home so these judges can care less/ if you are poor you can hang it up New Jersey courts will dog the mess out of you hands down because I had a judge cut my attorney off and turn and got out of his seat motioning to leave failing to listen to my motion and then we filed an emergent return of my children and this judge Denied it and said my kids wasnt in any harm and not even a month later my baby gets beat up/ I blame this judge because his job is to protect families /no child should ever have to endure this type of pain especially from a parent/ the system is truly broken but stay our of corrupt New Jersey family court system / my child has the marks on her today from what her dad did but the courts call it in the best interest. Signed a pissed off mother

    The system is crazy, criminals always,want to look like the victims to get off the hook and the crimes committed to hurt innocent victims they always want to be lame and pin stuff on everyone else…Pathetic, wwyd?

    Yes and mothers and children that are being abuses, cheated on and financial get raped when they wouldn’t hurt a fly and just struggling to make a good life. I don’t look for trouble do drugs or never been in jail. I need to see how I’m a help my situation cause at the end of the day the father of my kids family double team and make my life hell and have. I only trust GOD.

    Why isthis happening..hun ive been though a horrible divorce. My ex usband s nd his mother teamed u ok against me took my baby for three months when i first said “i am divorcing you” and meant it. The Florida police told me its a civil matter and i have to wait for family court. I did i got her back a full ten days and it was fifty fifty until finalized divorce. My ex not soon aftr went to jail for battery the neighbors called the cops when thy seen physical violence. I had a no v contact prportction order full custody and he had supervised visits he never once did …. i later dropped the domestic violence injunction bc i believe that every child needs a father…(not that he was the best one all he did was hate me and play video games) buti dropped it and y hen he leaves me homeless in fl when all myfamily is in Ohio i moved with my newborn for him and he took his misery out on me the whole marriage and then his mother take my one and baby who i live for and the courts gave majority custody tohim (and his mom) bc i did not have a home i was legit homeless. ..he told the cc ourt i was a horrible mother all this nasty horrible things about me and my first attorney was my downfall he was crooked he did not do anything at all for me in my defense i was bullied to death in that court room and to not go to trtrial and be sabatoged and kicked when i was already down i decided to mediate..currently i am in ohio my baby is in fl and his verbal abuse and control issues nevr went away…. i am dying inside my baby is in my heart i tell her baby,where is mommy? she goes in my heart! and i go baby, now where is baby ?she goes in your heart! He tries to tell her m o mommy is in ohio it makes me sick but one thing you cannot take away is a mother child bond…… and to the men i lived on a base and i do empathize we with all you i was the only female in fami ‘ll y fleet that had their spouse take their chid and run ….god bless all of you

    The family court system is shockingly biased.
    I have been through what can only be explained as a custody war over my daughter for the better part of two years. In my experience with the court system in NY there is no equality of any manor. A mother must be proved unfit before the court even takes into consideration the possibility of awarding a father more than visitation, while a father has to prove that he is fit. It is essentially being assumed guilty until proving innocent. In pre-trial the ex’s lawyer brought up a single incident of my 3 1/2 year old daughter missing a day of school and my daughter’s appointed lawyer and the court mediator both said “if Ciara is going to miss school while at her father’s then she should not be staying with him”. My lawyer pointed out that my ex had failed to send my daughter to school a total of 13 times at least six due to missing the bus and sleeping in, both my daughters lawyer and the mediator then replied “due to the age of Ciara her attendence is not a concern of this court”

    I feel like the dad
    I am reading this because I am being accused and he is going for full custody. He even tried to put a restraining order on me with no proof!! He is fighting for EVERYTHING! Including the debt! Go figure he cheated and I was the stay at home! Now he’s the woman and I went and found me a woman after 15 years of marriage. He gives men a bad name. AND….he was a good man till I said it was over. So confused? Wish me luck, I only wanted our children to have 2 full time parents half the time. They deserve that!

    GA courts favor the dad
    I am the woman left for the other woman, who moves in on her ex and her children. I was a stay at home mom for !% years and married 27. I walked away with no furniture, no appliances no cars, no houses and we owned 2, and had to declare bankruptcy and lost my job from being in court for all the times my ex filed motions. Then after he has made me penniless and in poverty as he makes over $250,000, and refused to give me alimony over a false claim of infidelity as he was the biggest cheater around, and abusive to me and our kids…..yet because he held all the MONEY in the divorce, and was FINANCIALLY ADVANTAGED, stay at home moms basically have no chance at all. And for any woman to make comments about the originally wife being a money grubber as they go off into the sunset on a cruise, and I stand in the food stamp line..I can only assume you my dear are the money grubber, not the ex wife. I just want what my ex should have given me in the first place. So don’t presume to know how us left for dead ex wives feel…hopefully this will happen to you and you will eat your words. Ga is the good old boy system with nepitism and lawlessness abounding. If you don’t want to get screwed in a divorce, ladies do not move down to GA. You will be at everyones mercy and your family will be taken away and given to an abusive cheating man as you scrape by off your elderly parents to support you and your children as your ex is off with his GF on a cruise laughing about how they screwed you over…

    Need advice
    My son who is now 16 years old has a numerous amount of mental disorders.. His father is suing me for full custody, so He does not have to pay back child support.. He never has wanted him before the courts of Texas stepped in and said pay your debt.. he is behind 10 years in support.. and my son, is well loved taken care of, and is in a treatment place for kids like him, in our state. the father is not being fair, all he wants is for the tables to be turned.. He wants out 16 year old, while our 19 year old begs him for help all the time, and he refuses to help her… it’s not all about the money in some cases.. but when you don’t even try, and then you want the kid i think its a crock..

    Dads are not Dads till the courts say so no matter what where you live.
    I was looking for a site in the uk it seems that the situation in Canada is very similar to that in the uk. I have a daughter that is now an adult herself and doing very well. I tried the approach of always being nice to her mother and not engaging in tit for tat slander to the courts. She told the court every thing she could dream up to disgrace and slander (most of witch was untrue) me and as a result I found myself being told by a court that i was unfit to be a farther and shouldn’t see my daughter. I appealed the courts decision and after a 6year court battle was apologized to by a high judge. This cost me my home and my business as i had to sell both to pay the solicitors bill. Now 15 years later find myself in a similar position once again. I have two younger children to a different mother whom turn into a alcoholic and became violent towards me. I would leave the house by order of the police and return when she was sober but the incidents became more and more frequent and in order to protect the children I left the family home. Within months she sold the house and spent the money on drink. (sorry just had to talk to someone there is a lot more to my story it just seems so unfair to the kids and the dads. It stinks that dads are not dads till the courts say so)

    Not true. Here in MO (USA), my 15 year old left to live with her dad who’d never been involved until she turned 13-14 and he started promising that he’d let her smoke pot, drink, date, buy her a car, etc. if she’d live with him.

    We were never married and we went to court which he never showed up to, so we have no custody papers.

    I called DFS telling them the situation and all that happened was that my ex and his wife and my daughter all lied and said I was the one who did drugs with her and DFS tried coming after ME.

    Needless to say, it’s been a year of me sitting here helplessly watching him tear apart everything I worked building up in my child for 15 years just because he doesn’t want to pay me child support. That’s what it’s come out as in the end, he’s held a grudge all these years and he’s told my daughter that the only reason I ever kept her all this time was for the money. (Completely untrue, as we’ve lived in poverty as I’m on disability and he makes over 5,000/month).

    In the US, if they’re put on the birth certificate, they’re the father, but good luck getting anything else done unless you have a LOT of money to take it to court over and over, which I don’t.

    A mom who children father is abusive and his new girlfriend is making threats of violence and he is violating his 4year restaining order
    I am currently going through an custody battle nw with my children father when he is not even consistenly or at all paying any type of child support to any of his kid. All he seems to do is impregrant different and all females. Now that he came across an new young dumb female thats going to settle for his hot mess causes im not putting up with it.We return back to court in may for possiablity of some kind of vistation. But in regard to the non sense I will be bringing to court any and all neccsary documentations in regards to his court order becasue he is unfit dangerous,vicous, agrumentative, and commiting acts of violence. He told his new girlfriend where I stay and they both are committing acts of violence. Now the gal is involved, he doesnt have now where to stay and he is deranged. I am fighting tooth and nail for my 2 children small children to not be exposed to that unhealthy type of atmosphere. In return to the nonsense he is a drug user, who refuses to get an job and not paying child support but now you wants the kids. Impossiable.I dont want to expose my children to his new girlfriend because she is just as violent. I been stabbed before about 5 years old. During an simarliar situation but the only difference where different people was involved. He is trying to fight for full custody that means like 5 days out the week and including every weekend. Yeah right I dont see for this crap to happen when i am the bread winner and im holding down this forth by myself. He is jobless, homeless, mindless,dramaful, and also a person who doesnt respect any kind of judisdiction system.Since the birth of both of my kids he wanted me to abort both pregancies, because he didnt want to man up and take care of his kids.But now since they are here he still havent grown up by the age of 33. He thinks by selling dvds and cds that will be his career for life and so that he can send his kids off to college one day when they get of age. He is refusing all kinds of courts orders to pay child support he not in complaince with nothing. I need some help with this manic.

    A mom who children father is abusive and his new girlfriend is making threats of violence and he is violating his 4year restaining order
    I am currently going through an custody battle now with my children father when he is not even consistently or at all paying any type of child support to any of his kid. All he seems to do is spread his seeds to different and all females and have babies with them. Now that he came across an new young dumb female thats going to settle for his hot mess causes i am not putting up with it.We return back to court in may for possibly of some kind of visits But in regard to the non sense I will be bringing to court any and all of the documentations in regards to his court order because he is unfit, dangerous,and mental unstable, and committing acts of violence. He told his new girlfriend where I stay and they both are committing acts of violence. Now the gal is involved, he do not have now where to stay and he is deranged. I am fighting tooth and nail for my 2 children small children to not be exposed to that unhealthy type of atmosphere. In return to the nonsense he is a drug user, who refuses to get an job and not paying child support but now you wants the kids. Impossible.I do not want to expose my children to his new girlfriend because she is just as violent. I been stabbed before about 5 years old. During an same situation but the only difference where different people was involved. He is trying to fight for full custody that means like 5 days out the week and including every weekend. Yeah right I do not see for this crap to happen when i am the bread winner and im holding down this forth by myself. He is jobless, homeless, mindless,drama of a person and also a person who does not respect an court system.Since the birth of both of my kids he wanted me to abort both of my children because he did not want to man up and take care of his kids.But now since they are here he still have not grown up by the age of 33. He thinks by selling dvds and cds that will be his career for life and so that he can send his kids off to college one day when they get of age. He is refusing all kinds of courts orders to pay child support he not in comply with nothing. I need some help with this manic.

    I agree with Linn….. it just takes money……. as long as the expensive attorney can make one side sound like an angel…. it doesn’t matter what is in the best interest of the child…. he with the most money wins. Even DFACS doesn’t protect the children who truly need it, at least not in the county of georgia where I live.

    drunk dads???
    So what if the dad wants primary custody, yet hasn’t offered to help pay for diapers or food? Has drove drunk. With the child” drank a six pack while watching the child, and admitted to not being able to wake up when the child starts crying in the middle of the night. Should that man be allowed primary custody? More so the mom is willing to let the child’s Dad see the child every other weekend so long as he brings her home before the child’s bed/bath time to insure the child’s schedule is not disrupted. Not every dad out there is like this but come on isn’t that something to take into consideration?

    Who wins in custody wars? It is always, who has more money!
    Get ready for a story, most of you will think is a lie. I was the stay home mom for 10 yrs. In an awful marriage! Where there was no victims, or villans,
    we both were hateful to one another. I do believe that most bad marriages, are due to both people, & the only true victims are the kids, until the courts are involved. The courts most always side unfairly with one parent, just because they are siding with one parent, means they are NO longer unbasis, which means they are no longer fair! That would bring me to the horrified exsinctence, of my life now! I have not seen my two daughters in 10 years now! My ex-husband & his forth wife, adopted my girls 6 years ago! I reside in Boulder, Colo. I was not notifed, my ex-husband had been arrested twice for betting me up, & his wife did not reside one day in Colo.!
    Now you are thinking, I must be so horriable, or this could never have happened. I did have many things wrong with me, & still do. But, the worist thing I did to my children is I would yale at them. To which, after I would yale at them I always appologized to them, & would tell them it was becauce of my illness that I yelled not because of them. I was hit by a drunk driver when I was 19 yrs. old! The man that hit, & killed my mother, & put me in the hospital for 3 months, died on the scene with 9 D.U.I’s, & no insurance! I have tramic brain injury to the frontal lobe area of my head. Which controlls excutive functioning, & emotions! I have since that time been a fraigle persons who needs a lot of things to be a well adjusted person. Some examples: I need 10 hours of sleep a night, I need regular exercise, & I can’t be yelled at, or rushed, without expressing myself in an angery way.
    I would assume you all know what happiens when you are married with two small children ONE YEAR APART. You stop taking care of your self. With me, then my symtoms get much worse, & then your marriage gets bad.
    Well, this entire story is too long to tell here. I just want to warn people how bad custody wars can get. So, try to avoid them, anyway posiable. Also,you should remember, attorneys can be very dishonest, judges are ‘paid-off’, in this country, & your exspouces can be the person that wants to distroy your life, even if it hurts the kids. My husband is a very successful aeorspace engener, who can compartmentlize things he does as nesscarry, so he has no guilt. I kept thinking things could’nt happen because he once loved me!

    It’s not always who has more money!!
    WOw, it’s websites like these and comments that disgust me. I completely understand that there are good fathers out there, and bad mothers, and even good fathers and mothers that actually work out 50/50 custody. But don’t try to blame all women as crazy liars. My ex cheated on me with 5 different women. I had enough, and broke up with him. He moved in with her, and I tried to work out a visitation schedule with him outside of court. Did he appreciate this? NO. He kept harassing me, kept texting me sexual remarks, to have sex with him, that if I don’t he would beat the crap out of me all over my apartment. He even did these threats in person, while my son was present. I don’t have money. But really, is it healthy for a woman, let alone a child, to witness these acts? So I moved somewhere safer, and started everything in court. I had evidence of all the times the cops were called, of all the abusive text messages, evidence of everything. Even witnesses of how he treated our son as leverage to get me to obey him. No more. No money, I won full custody. With evidence. SImple as that. No lying, no crazy homormal tactics in court, nothing. He was the one that even made himself look worse, mentioned he did weed while taking care of our son, and that he wants custody because he can’t afford child support. Yes I look down upon anyone that lies just to get custody, it’s really the children’s well being that matters, and if both parents can work it out then that’s great. But don’t assume that all women are crazy, especially the many “new girlfriends” that like to bash on people like me when their man doesn’t even bother telling them the truth.

    My fiance’s custody battle
    My fiance is still legally married. They’ve Ben separated for several years and now is financially able to pay go a lawyer to start the divorce and custody battle. She’s six years old. And there is so much that can incriminate his soon to be ex wife and prove that she is an unfit mother. I dare not go into details. He went against his lawyer’s advice I. not letting her get their daughter back unil all was settled. After a month, he goes and talks with her and they try to settle it. After the girl gets sick then gets diarrhea and we end up sending her to her mom, meeting her mother’s parents in the closest town. And she was never told about the rash coming from going to bathroom so much. She was upset about that among a few other things, and that she had live still even though she got it when she was still with her mom a month and half ago. Then she also twisted and lied about something I said and now she won’t let him see his daughter. Now we have to figure out what we can do to get her back. One time his daughter came back in the same clothes and never had a bath when her mom had extra clothes and it was obvious that she needed one. She went to a sleep over and I had no chance in making sure she was clean before she went to see her mom.

    Custody and parental alienation of affection question
    It just recently came to my attention, a weekend dad, that my 7 year old daughter’s mother and her fiancé have been arrested for trafficking synthetic marijuana to the tune of 170lbs confiscated. They posted bail and the mom was arrested again for the same offense. Both arrest records show over 13 firearms confiscated along with $3900 in cash and an unknown white substance. While out again on bail, (Great Lawyer?), she was arrested for smuggling contraband into court for a good friend on trial for murder, charges dismissed, (Again, Great Lawyer?). Turns out that her fiancé drove the man sentenced to 24 years for this murder to the scene to sell $8,000 of real marijuana, the deal went bad and he shot and killed his victim. The fiancé then picked the murderer/drug dealer up and harbored him in my child’s home until he was arrested at my child’s home. My child’s mother’s brother, also a flagrant in on the trafficking was arrested at her home. My child told Child Protective Services that her mother and mother’s fiancé had her putting stickers on the synthetic marijuana packages after mother stuffed the bags on multiple occasions. CPS granted me an Emergency Custody Order and three days later it was overturned by the judge during the hearing. I then filed for an Ex Parte Emergency Custody Order in the county where I live, where all original jurisdiction for custody is, and it was granted. The hearings on August 30th. Mom lied to my daughter about all of this stuff, even though people have been arrested in front of her, she labeled this stuff and had to stay with her grandma while mom was in jail, (Cops never told me about it to come get her.). So when my child kept asking why she wasn’t going home, and why she was enrolled in school with me and why mom hasn’t been aloud to call here, and why she was going to be living with me, should I have told her the truth and showed her the police records, news headlines and mug shots while telling her that her mommy is still a good person, just confused and didn’t know what to do so she lied about all of this and wouldn’t have done it if she knew she would have to give her daughter up to me? Or should I have been the liar and cover for her and make my daughter feel like I just was stealing her away from mommy and being mean? My child is smart as a whip. She knew something was up. My wife and our neighbor , a 20 year veteran 2nd-3rd grade teacher told me I needed to tell her to help her understand the truth. We never speak ill of mom and never have. This has been the only time we have ever shown my daughter anything bad about her mom. Also, do you think the judge is going to grant permanency to the sole custody order under all these grounds if my child is already 3 weeks into her school year here if mom was changing schools anyway? Thanks.

    My Ex Is A Psycho Borderline With an UNTREATED Suicide Attempt Behind Her, and I’M Getting Hauled Into Court for Contempt Even Though She Hasn’t Paid Support In Almost A Year.
    I understand completely why Dads take their kids and flee the jurisdiction if they are financially able. I won EVERYTHING at our divorce mediation because she cheated and left the house, leaving me with our 8 year old son, and now SHE is taking ME to court for contempt despite her not paying her share of his medical bills for the past two years. The colossal BALLS on this woman are astounding! She has done everything possible to alienate her own son from her affections – I have done nothing but told him over and over again, “Your mother is a good person, and you need to give her a second chance.” He can’t stand her because she is rude and cruel to me, and I am the person he most loves in the world – THAT is why my son hates his mother – because she treats the person he loves most in the world like a punk! I don’t tell him about it – he lives with me, and he sees it for himself with his own two eyes!!!

    custody battles and jealousy
    I am hearing from all these comments lots of jealousy and entitlement. men, if you were a good father and spent time with your children and did your share of domestic duties then you should be entitled to equal time with your children as the mother, providing you are not violent. however, if you were an absentee father (and working fulltime is no excuse) and had little to do with the kids and the mother did all the things with the kids such as activities, school, drs. play dates, etc. then count on being an every other weekend father. Mothers, if your husband was a good man and treated his children well and parented them well and was there for them, even though he may have done you wrong, he still hasn’t done his children wrong. there are extinuating circumstances with every case and i guess that is why cases are all treated differently which involves lawyers and judges. but parents should have equal custody if they both equally contributed equally to the children’s upbringing. Especially if both parents work fulltime to provide. Incomes are not always fair and should be adjusted accordingly as far as support is concerned.

    WOW…again fathers are guilty just for working full time is no excuse, you right it is not an excuse it is a reason!. Again the father is guilty and the mother is not. Has it even clicked that maybe the woman has done something wrong to cause a divorce? I married the sweetest person I know within weeks of the marriage she took a sandwich I made and feed it to dogs because I cut the tomatoes uneven. After working 16 hours shift I went to get her breakfast and Mcdonalds forgot her pancakes so she takes her food and tosses it on the floor. I go back and get her pancakes, I have kept my temper down, unfortunately we have a son together. Even he says mama going to go crazy and he is 5. He knows there is something not right with her!! ONLY reason I am still married to this selfish, spoiled witch of a monster is because I would have to prove she is 100% unfit to be a wife and mother my house looks like a pigs house, I clean it up and work full time to be a slave to this person and it is still not enough nothing is enough to make this woman happy NOTHING!!! But I know how the courts are, I know I cannot expect a reasonable divorce and she is too crazy to work out a shared parenting. So I am stuck in this place it sucks and it is because of people like you and your stupid mentality. That keep good fathers from their kids and forcing abusive mothers on them all for the sake of what?

    Who knows better
    So, this sounds unreal. The mother left the father. No ill feelings, besides the mother has admitted she was bored with father of their 2 children. He has been paying a substantial amount of child support (roughly 80% to her 20%). The father of children traveled many distances to see children although they lived 4+ hours away, then he was relocated to be only 2+ hours away. Regardless of the distance the mother still complained about him wanting to spend time with the children. ONe minute she states she don’t want him to contact them, then the next she is like he dont’ contact them. Basically, damn if he do damn if he doesn’t. Regardless he has been always trying to create and ensure a relationship with his children. Father is not trying to get physical custody of his children. Oh, he is remarried also. Mother now request sole custody because she thinks a financial fight vs best interest of the children. Her fail is all of the social post of her partying and emails of how she doesn’t want to parent with him. There are just some bizarre situations out here. Fathers who want to be an active participant in their children lives, but the woman are bitter for no reason and don’t see the benefit of their dads being in their lives. We need more men to stand up about the issue. Because girlfriends/ new spouses we can’t do anything about it besides vent about what we see is going on with the legal system allowing these woman to consistently get over. It’s sad how much money drives the placement of children when parents can’t see past their own selfish ways. Hope that he gets physical custody or more visitation. He already has an extensive amount of visitation, but the custodial (mother)doesn’t allow for it on many occasions.

    okay I am the woman in this case….Just asking all you, do the courts not take evidence into consideration for the best interest in the children? I have ton of evidence however since i’m not a lawyer, nor have money for one I can’t abtain them documents. I agree children need 2 parents to live since it took 2 people to make them. However depending on the status of the parents with proof I agree the parents should have equally rights and responsiblitiy to the children.

    Best interest of the children??
    Divorce, custody, support, and visitation are NOT Court motions/actions that consider “the best interest of the children”. The terms “Law Guardian” and “child support” are perverse concepts in the Court System that are NOT looking out for “the best interest of the children”.
    If you file for divorce, you are NOT looking out for “the best interest of the children”. You are looking out for YOURSELF, just like Judges and attorneys are looking out for themselves.
    Be careful, Ladies. My wife filed for divorce earlier this year and so far it hasn’t cost me a dime!! She borrowed against her ENITRE 401K and she is barely getting by now. She thinks she holding all the cards with her having the kids and by placing an order of protection against me. Now the “law guardian” is making HER pay most of the costs associated with my “supervised visitation”. I don’t make 1/3 of what she makes and now I’m telling the Judge when I want to come back to Court and she is paying twice as much in RENT as my mortgage!!
    Maybe I don’t get to see the kids when I want but I’ll be damned if I give her ANYTHING (alimony/child support) and not see my children whenever I want!! I think I’ll let HER have fun with HER lawyer and now the “law guardian” holding HER AND THE KIDS HOSTAGE IN SUPREME COURT while I sit back in bankruptcy and foreclosure.
    See you in late February of next year, or whenever I feel like coming back to Court again, HONEY!! I don’t need this aggravation. IT’S NOT MY DIIVORCE!!
    Oh and Guys if you are reading this and think I’m being spiteful, I’m really not. IT’S MY MARRIAGE AND I REFUSE TO LET THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK TAKE MY FAMILY AWAY FROM ME!!

    Status after status, strike court dates?
    I am a mother of young boy who’s father I did not marry. We tried to co parent in separate homes for a long time. I had my son 4 days, he had him 3. No child support was ever paid to him or myself. It actually worked for the first couple years, but once I saw my son’s grades become less than average, and him struggling to read and comprehend, math tests came back with 50% F’s. My son begged for help at the school as did I. Finally, I decided we needed to change schools. We moved 30 minutes away and my son was diagnosed with ADHD. I served his dad with custody papers, since we were never married, there was nothing ever in the courts who was custodial parent. We’ve been in court now since June 2013. Dad has a cash job, went to tour with a band for 3 months from July to the end of November, lives with his mom. The court made us go through mediation which completely failed because he wants residental custody. But in the last 6 months, he’s hardly ever had our son over night, seen him maybe a total of 10 times. His attorney filed a motion to withdrawl due to lack of cooperation. Still, every month there is a status hearing. He was ordered in Nov to pay temporary child support of $101 per week, which I have not seen one dime of to date. The courts have on record he doesn’t file a tax return. Why does it take so long to deem one parent at least residential custody?? I have paid my attorney, and a guardian ad litem, and feel like this case will never end. I’m not asking for much. I just need a little help from him. My son finally has friends at school, he had a huge project due for science which he had to present…his teacher said he “rocked” it. A+. I couldn’t be more proud of what he’s accomplished. I just feel like I’m going to go broke over this, which is exactly what my ex said he intended on doing…putting me into poverty. It’s not always the women causing the problems guys. I agree, there are some money hungry women out there who take their children’s fathers for all they have. But then there are women like me. I just need a little help from him is all I ask, and for him to follow through when he says he’s going to see his son.

    Why would you want child support now from such a loser? You spent this whole time never wanting a dime from this loser and now you know he doesn’t make any money and you want it. Will a jail record help him find a job, become a man? Your only interest is for yourself, pray you do find that poverty your looking for. You son ADHD was causing the failing grades, not just your husband by your own admission. Your only reason as I see it is to get full custody and a steady pay check.

    take the case into another state…
    take away divorce cases to another state if possible.
    Specially for those in uniform. These should immediately be at fault cases
    by the more strict rule or simply by the conflict of interest
    between the military couple.
    This state is a be aware state, on most of everything.

    During my divorce the thing that stressed me out the most was the constant stress of not knowing if i was going to keep my children or not. Thanks to the wonderful firm of Rosenberg and Rodriguez, i was able to keep my children. I couldn’t be any happier with my results, so that is why i recommend you to contact them through http://rosenbergfirm.com/ so they can help you as they did to me.

    Umm… Single Mom…
    So what I’m seeing here is alot of people not fessing up to their lawyers… I fully avoid attacking my ex in anyway, but a week ago I asked him, I’m recently haveing some medical issues, to take my daughter so I could go to the doctors, mind you it’s a saturday and he retorts with as long as I don’t have to take her the weekend after. My response a simple question, is the trip personal? if so I don’t think you should be using time with her as a barganing chip I want you spending more time with her. He wanted custody to be 50/50 we alternate weeks, he doesn’t have a sitter and refuses to go to day cares with me (we have conflicting schedules I work from 4pm to 2am at the latest and he works 7am to 5pm) But the he says “lawyer up” I want at all costs to avoid court because I want him to have time with her and I know how unfair the court system can sometimes be, but what worries me is me haveing Tuesdays and Wednesdays off is somewhere down the line they will give him every weekend when she’s in school that leaves just the school days where she’s two tired or to cranky to spend any real quality time with me. I love my daughter alot granted I am 2years from really having to worry about it, but I know the court won’t do a 50/50 thing like that it’s not stable enough even to me and I refuse 6months a year she be mine and 6 months a year she’ll be his I raise her complete alone went through my pregnancy alone but I’ve done good I think at not holding it against him

    Good for you yes the court most certainly will consider 50/50 between two reasonable parents. It is in the best interest of the child unlike your story of what is in the best interest of YOU. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can not expect after divorce to be friends or for this person to make your life easier? You can do alternating weeks, biweek, monthly, semi yearly. The sky is the limit. Seems if you both are close enough a weekly plan would fit or biweekly. Most day cares will work around a weekly plan. I pray he does get the 50/50 because it would be in the best interest of the child as been proven again and again. Also nether parent financially benefits from this arrangement, so the abuse and greed is kicked out of the equation.

    tired of living in fear
    Two years ago my daughter fell asleep at her grand parents house. My ex said he had something to do and left to his parents house and had me served with papers for custody.. the police would not do anything to help me although i am her mother. I believe my ex father paid the police officer off. My exs parent are co owners to a very prominent construction company and they are well known in our community. Alot of people fear them. At this point i realized that the judicial system here in fl stinks. My ex is transgender and the therapist they sopened said there were no studies done on transgender ed people raising small children. Yes i knew he was a she before i was completely in love with her and contributed to her transition. When we had our daughter i did see signs of jealousy when i breast fed or our daughter reached for me i figured with counseling we could work through it. She lives with her parents and we were given shared visitation. Her parents do not agree with her transitioning and accused me of enabling her to be a woman. Well after 2 years we have a court trial i found out three weeks before and my lawyer recently quit my case because there lawyer never allows us the time to state our case. I had a horrible year last year because of the stress i almost died twice. I do suffer from bipolar so my post pardum stunk. I was anemic very badly after i had my daughterand i have had no time to truly greive over this whole situation. I feel victimnized and scared. So much wasted money and time that this person has taken from me. Now my daughter is calling him mommy. What a slap in the face.

    So was it a true transgender or do they have a sexual identity crisis. Which are two completely different things. 1st is a bit more real, but if they actually had sexual organs that worked that is very rare much less enough to make a kids.

    Was just a Woman that wants to be a man? Or is a man that wants to be a woman? Regardless you seem hardly the fit to be a mother what if you did die while you had the kid? I can only assume you on bi-polar medicine which in itself is risky? I can say “what if” all day but it seems when you are more stable in your life you’ll have a better chance being a part time parent I would not expect after reading your own story by your own words you be a full time parent ever. Seek God and his ways, a choice is still a choice.

    And I read it as gender neutral… to bad the writer used gender specific terms. I don’t believe is was meant that way.

    I am a divorcing woman, married for 27 years and my husband never paid one mortgage payment nor has he provided any support (other than turning off all utilities when I had to file a restraining order…)for our two children living with me. He purchases sex and I am shocked that so many of you are choosing sides. I am sorry you have been hurt to that degree. All we can do is be the bigger person. Beer helps too!

    Abused Dad
    I have been with my ex partner for just over 5 years, in that time I probably had and experienced a lot of great things, travelling and just learning to love her. I had 2 young boys from a previous marriage which broke down due to financial strain and that I caught her having an affair. I told my ex everything as I’m an open book. However, during our rship things would prop up, that I was checking up on ex wife, still loved her.etc then she would lash out, argument after argument then she would apologise. I never hit her at anytime, 3yrs in with a wedding planned we had a terrible separation where she scarred my face, repeatedly punched, scratched me to point I moved out, she said I cldnt let her live etc, I thought she would have an affair…which I found strange, as she was out a lot and she said to me about giving up football, I never saw my pals and basically hardly saw family. But after moving out, I went and cleared my head,done well at work got a new flat for me and my sons, then I ended up working in my exs area so i had text about a catching a coffee, I still loved her and I knew I wanted her in my life… She refused numerous times until one day she text about mail I got and we ended up going for a meal and then dated regularly so much that, we were together again, I was so happy, things going well, boys were happy she was there, but there was the odd occasion where shed shout argue about stupid stuff, I told her everything would be fine I gave her engagement ring back and told her I loved her and we would get married. Building on this, she found out she was pregnant, she talked about her sister and her husband trying for a baby, I always assumed that we weren’t trying but I wouldn’t change it, but she still was arguing a lot fighting, stressing over silly things, it was hard, we had a little girl in august 2013,but by she was 3/4weeks old my ex was saying I was treating her different from the boys, that is never see her again, but then apologised then there were great times then the bad where between Christmas she repeatedly beat me, then again in January, even on Valentine’s day she did, saying I didn’t live her, treat her right or anything. By this time we had moved in together to a new home, I paid my way every month but still she was unhappy. It was affecting my work, I had to tell my manager what was going on,I ended up with a new job a lot more money, everything done in house, our little girl was growing great the boys were happy but again no, because I opted to tile the bathroom and go get shopping in rather than go to a communion, the boys got verbally abused, as did I, our little girl got a smack in the hand and then the next day while she was sleeping after I dropped boys at school I got a beating again so much that I had a minor concussion, I thought that this person was going to be my future and everything ok, but I cldnt take it anymore, eggshells fighting, arguing, violence, it’s not me so after that attack I left to seek advice from police etc, but because I didn’t have time off and the usual with DV that I’d end up in jail despite not ever lifting a finger…I was advised to get legal advice, I had to wait a week or 2, in that time I text her uncle, brother in law and best friend just what happened. The next day I get in from work, I get a lawyers letter stating separation, to move my things out, my limited access time with my little girl and that I have to pay her maintenance…all before I could speak to a single soul professionally.

    Your story is much like my own I know I should leave my wife because she is super abusive but I will not get a fair deal court. I just keep hoping things will get better. You story was literally hard to read. I think I understood most of it and my heart goes out to you. It is a great example how the system fails dads / man all the time.

    Okay I have a question I have been in the process of moving and my daughter will be two in November he father was not involved during the pregnancy and would not have been involved at the day of birth had it not been for my mom well he was gone and never asked about her til she was 5 1/2 months old then seen her 16 days during a 3 month spans then was gone again for six months I don’t wanna a male in and out of my child’s life well now he is trying to take me to court over my daughter all that has been done is DNA we have no court date yet or anything would I still be able to move state

    What is wrong with letting him try to be father? Are you scared your going to loss your pay check. This male is that kids father and nothing you do will change that. Only thing you can do is forever emotionally damage your kid. If he is trying to get in the picture that is because you are not letting him in hence him having to take you to court. You complain because he wasn’t before (more in-likely your fault) but when he finally is you’re offended? Please… I read between the lines on this one. You child deserves to know their Dad. You wont lose your pay check, let him at least try to be a part time daddy.

    Communication and Abusive Behavior
    I have been compliant to send my child to visit his father from across the country. His father pays for the flights of course but he is verbally abusive to me when I question anything. I don’t know how to deal with his abusive behavior other than to limit all calls or conversations with him. He assaulted me during our last exchange when I drove to meet him over 900 miles. I am tired and I can’t afford to pay for an attorney to stop him from doing this. I don’t curse him or call unless it is about our son. My husband has even addressed the assault after I called him. He apologized to him but never to me. For almost 20 years, we’ve been a part of each others life but when he changes gf’s he becomes aggressive and abusive to me. What should I do

    I have a few words for all this so called acts which I am sure you had nothing to do with instigating. Video record it they also have black boxes for you car.

    I am going through a divorce right now in Florida. My wife is a avoidant parent. She left for another man , party, and to be with her friends. (documented) She has not cared much for our 5 year old daughter, since she has left and four months later when I have her served, she all the sudden wants to have our daughter 50/50. I did try and work this out with her with a marriage counselor, but she lied to him as well and he no longer wanted to see us. She refused to take that seriously for our daughters sake. I have it documented that she is depressed with other medical issues, lives in an area that is not allowed, she is around old friends that do drugs, dating a guy that does drugs, and does not watch our daughter very well when she is with her. She is good at taking pictures to appear she is taking care of her and that she is a great mother, but the PI I hired shows otherwise. I am trying to retain majority custody, since I am the one who takes her to school, doctor appts, zoos, beach, pool, and play dates with her friends. She has yet to do any of this. I also have it documented that she did not seek medical treatment for our daughter when she was ill for almost a full day after our daughter told her she was not feeling well. Do I have enough to fight this out? I am ready to drain my retirement funds to protect my daughter. Please help.

    PI and all evidence means very little she is the mother, I have seen the worst mother get 10 chances and still win custody. Until she had to spend a year in jail then she got out and sued for back child support when the father had the kids all that year. lol but he forgot to get the child support shut off so to speak. if you can prove or get records aka crimestoppers.com … drug arrest then you have a much more of a case against her. You should not feel bad about turning her in if anything maybe she will get her act cleaned up. Last thing you need is a tripping parenting going crazy on syth.pot.. around a small child.

    the ex wife
    My husband has joint custody of his two boys and their mother has custodial but they have lived here with him and went to school here before and after the divorce e! Yet he’s still having to give her child support for two kids that don’t live with her and don’t want to see her the older one refuses to visit her and so she waited til 3 days before school starts to pull them out of the schools they’ve been on all their lives and enroll them in schools 45 mins away.we already have a lawyer and filed for full custody but it’s been 13 days and she still hasn’t been served the papers! And when the younger son went to visit she’s kept him And is refusing to let him see us. So I feel what you all are saying about blaming g men for it all. He’s only missed 2 payments in five years! And yet she’s dwelling on that to whoever will listen

    Alienation goes both ways
    I know it seems to men that the system fails THEM. There are many moms like myself suffering at the hands of narcissistic ex-husbands who have alienated their sons like my 16 yr old. On top of that, my ex has brothers on the police force and is married to an attorney. He works as a school security guard so doesn’t make much money. When my son lived with me, he was constantly in arrears with child support. Reduced his income attempting to pay less. He didn’t need the money, his wife pays their bills. Constantly in violation of this and other court orders but no one does anything about it for last 6 years. A spouse gets a pass because they aren’t the ex but what about when they are an officer of the court knowingly violating orders? Why have orders?

    depends on all the facts
    depends on what facts are brought to the table…
    mother of nineteen that owns a house bought new car makes 20+ dollars and hour full blown health insurance and my boy has his own room toys upon toys and every inch of emotional stability possible…kicked out at 18 mind you…….

    now the father…only been employed for one year full-time..was unemployed while i was pregnant and going through highschool…has no reliable vehicle lives with his parents..doesnt afford any kind of daycare..no insurance..and is 21.. compare and tell me who should take care of my son..
    oh and cant forget he has 2 harrassment charges bc im pathetic..worthless..and a whore..

    i will agree good dads get the short end of the stick alot but theres also alot of bad men in this world that dont deserve their children..my son willl not grow up to see someone live off their parents and see he doesnt support my child..he wont hear the horrific things he says about his mother and he will not think its ok to disrespect and degrade family the way he does point blank.

    I need some help…
    So I have taken my daughters mother to court for custody because she does not let me see her. She is using my daughter to get revenge on me for us not working out. Next week on 09/03/14 is my daughters birthday so yesterday 08/30/14 I tried to go see my daughter. It turns out that she was not home, her brother claimed she was on tecate mexico with her parent. So i text her amd told her if she didt tell me where my daughter was i would call the police… later that night i passed by her house and notices her parents truck was already in the drive way. I went this morming to see my daughter and once again she wasnt home. Her dad claimed that when he got back home the night before she wasnt there and didnt know where she was. I believe she went to rosarito in baja california but she is not suppose to leave the state because we have an open case. Also she did not bring this up to me and I am not even sure she is there… do I have the right to call the police on her? Or what right do I have? And who am I suppose to contact in order to report anything?

    The book of Job
    My daughter is the unfortunate one to have married a man just before he went to Iraq, who is a police officer in the town where we live. He decided to leave my daughter (after 14 years) who is a clean living person, and now he is on his third? girlfriend. My daughter lives with me. And I’m glad! He has been awarded shared custody. He takes their 5 year old daughter on camping trips with the girlfriend out of state, if my daughter disagrees, it’s too bad. My daughter wants to call her baby to say goodnight when she is with the father and he doesn’t answer the phone. A half a dozen times he would not disclose her whereabouts to my daughter for days, while my daughter frantically called and texted to try to find her! Then he says she’s harassing him! To add insult to injury, he socially berates my daughter, thus forming a bandwagon of followers for his schemes. Why is he so hell bent to control the child; during his visits, so that there is little to no contact with her mother? Why is that such an issue for him? What is his explanation to his child for this? Why does he treat my daughter with contempt? After all, HE LEFT HER! He blocks all my daughter’s attempts to communicate with him with, “court orders” mumbo jumbo. He tries to set himself in front of others as “the victim” he creates tension between himself and my daughter, and cries that the tension is not good for the child. He created the situation that he is in, and blames my daughter for it. He speaks to her as though it’s not natural for a mother to be close to her child. As though the child is a “thing” and when it’s HIS turn with the “thing” my daughter should shut up and go away! So much for shared custody! My daughter spent two weeks accumulating and printing emails and texts to show his alienation of affection campaign, but it all fell on deaf ears. Next is pretrial for the divorce. God help her and her baby. Can you say, CORRUPTION?

    Whoa, I actually want to divorce you after reading that. The Dad has a right to travel, camp, go to soccer games, everything and anything he wants to do with “his child”. The mother should give him the space they need to have a good relationship, I doubt he calls multiple times and nags his ex wife to death when she has the child.

    From the sounds of everything you wrote sounds like this lady(mom) and I use this word lightly, is a control freak and overbearing. For him to last 14 years was more in-likely amazing on his part.

    Please anyone w/ some advice. I have a ten year old that I’ve been raising pretty much on my own since the day she was born. Her ” dad” has been in and out of her life since her birth up until maybe 4 or 5″yrs of her life. Now during these first FEW years he’s only hung around for maybe a month every so often and disappear and then show up a year or two later.HHe’s never spent one birthday w/ her. Only one Christmas and one thanksgiving. Hes never been there for not one school day, bedtime, earache, awards, homework. Not to mention shes ADD, hss a speech impairment and learning disability since she was three. Everytime he promised to stay in her life ( not mine and thats finevw/ me) he has always stood her up, made excuses as to why he couldn’t see her, or called me to go pick her up. He has caused me soooo much stress because he never helped me support her in any way. He was an alcoholic and hit me once ( and thats all it took for me to leave) when she was three months. I can go on and on… About a year ago he started to pay child support even though he was court ordered years ago and a few months ago I ran into his mom and one thing lead to another and i let him start seeing her again. Well hes up to his old ways and has already stood her up and a few times, misses another birthday and started to threaten me that he wasgoing to have me arrarrested for not letting him see her. Im so sick of him coming in and out of her life she is not a baby anymore she knows and i have to keep lying for this jerk. He still has rights to see her since long ago we went to court. I had evidence in my phone that is broken now on ugly txt messages he had sent me in the past but nothing now. I feel he is going to try to take me to court for her. What do i do? Please and God bless.

    I have a question?? Ok my husband was names domicile parent in 2013 for his 9 year old daughter. Because the mother moved an hour away and seem to not have a stable living life. All last year the child is having a hard time adjusting to our home and school with having bad reports from school and failing. Again the same for this year. Already having detentions and it’s only the 1st nine weeks of school! The mother is went to jail a few months ago for possission of marajuana and demotic violence charge. She is trying to get the child back because of the child’s grades and behavior. Before when the child was living with her she wasn’t having any problems. My husband works a lot and is away and I the step parent cares for the child while he is done . Do you think there is a chance that the judge will give the child back to her mother with all the problems the child is having since the change was made??

    Why won’t my daughters dad just leave us alone?
    Found this site as there are no useful Uk ones..My daughter is almost 9 months old, not that her ‘dad’ could care less however,all he seems to care about is giving grief and playing devious mind games with myself and my family. Twice he has had the opportunity to be involved, yet each time just gets too mentally abusive,forceful and demanding when he has an absolute cheek. There has been no reason for this, bar the fact that he is horrible and controlling. I have stacks of evidence of this, yet he seems to get away with it all with the authorities..soo frustrating. Makes up lies about me which are the absolute opposite of anything I would ever do. Both sides of the sexes have bad people. But howcome it always seems to be the ones that are in the right that have to deal with the endless hassle. My daughter and I would be so much better off if he would just leave us alone. Here’s hoping a judge will agree!

    Custody Battle with my fiance’s ex girlfriend.
    My Fiance has two kids with his ex girlfriend, in this last year there oldest child has been hospitalized for his asthma due to the mom not giving child his medication, well this last recent time the child was airlifted and put on life support.In mind she does not work, pawns kids off so she can go out and is just plain lazy.
    We are fighting for full custody due to not taking proper care of both kids. can anyone tell me if it would look better to the courts being married and not being the fiance?? and if anyone would know how hard this is gonna be??

    Hi what do you all think of a ex that has called DHS and reported abuse on one of the divorced parents children? Is this bad on their part or ours?

    I live in a county where the judge just wants to give the custody to the fathers. My ex berates me in front of our children, doesn’t allow them to call me when they are at his house, is having a sexual relationship with my oldest daughter whom he helped raise, has a criminal record and spent over five years in prison. I have no record, I work, our children told the judge that they don’t want to be with him.

    The “Law of Attraction’
    This is something I learned in Psychology class over ten years ago and still have to remind myself to practice it. My interpretation of the “Law of Attraction” is simply stay positive and positive things will happen. Instead of wishing the worse for your ex-wife, ex-husband wish them the best and I was surprised how much it helped me to overcome the separation. Believe me it wasn’t easy or did it happen in the time frame I would have preferred but it did work. I was reading SWAMPTHING910510 and a part of me wants to tell him to get his crap together and put the load on his shoulders, because whether you like it or not it is YOUR divorce. I don’t have money bursting out of my pockets but money means absolutely nothing when it comes to being with my son. I know where he is coming from but just sitting back enjoying bankruptcy isn’t the answer for me. I feel for you my man and pray that things turn out for the best for you and I.

    I understand that all dads are not bad, so many do deserve to just be a dad to their children. On the other hand, my daughters biological father was sent to prison while I was still pregnant with her. He was released just before her third birthday. I was completely open to them spending time together. I even dropped her off and picked her up (since he has no license). He had seen her maybe on five occasions, then went right back to abusing drugs/alcohol. Within 6 months he was sent back to prison. Thats where he spent the next few years. currently it has been almost 6 years since they have had any contact, but he filed for parenting time. The court has not spend ONE second looking into his past, which I provided. He has a laundry list of charges including drugs/alcohol and violence. He has never paid child support- ever. I have not forced the issue because I had hoped he would just back off. While goint to court dates for parenting time, he has still been using drugs and alcohol, even with an alcohol monitor on!! He was cited for two parole violations, they aren’t charging him with a felony charge for tether tampering for Lord knows what reason. He was sent BACK to jail during this process and STILL the court doesn’t see how he is a bad man. He is unstable, unpredictable, cannot follow the rules of the law, can’t stay away from drugs……..yet somehow the court system thinks my daughter needs to see him! I’m sorry to all of you dads who are good men and want to be there, but the “men” like the one I have to deal with in no way should be granted visitation. When a child’s life could be in danger due to the actions of the “dad” who cannot get his life in order, shame on the courts for not protecting the child!! Just praying he hangs himself before my daughter suffers…..as he usually does!

    I’m a dad that’s in a middle of a divorce. I discovered that my wife had my second child from another guy. After I found out and decided to divorce her and actually living in separate places, Now I’m a bad this bad that this and that. It is clear that was not the case before, she used to say I love my live, I don’t know what I would do without you and all the charming stuff you can imagine. So pretty much this is a obvious…A lot of women use the excuse of abusive behavior due to the situation they have put themselves into. Flash news…courts are getting a wake up call with all these false accusations against men and giving us men a good trial fighting these bad women.

    I am a mother of two wonderful kids. I have not seen in 8 long months now. There is no court order saying I can’t see them or can. My soon to be ex husband wont let me see them. He is saying if I come on his property he will have me thrown in jail. Well our custody hearing is April 15 I know it will go in my favor with all the proof I have. He has told me kids I don’t love them or want them around me. I haven’t talked to them in 6 months he don’t have a phone so I can’t talk to them.

    While prior or the 2000’s the courts did tend to side with mothers. This is because of maternal instinct, and just overall motherly love.

    With that said, nowadays the greater majority of courts want equal custody between parents. For the fathers who are saying the courts are against, lies. I assure there are issues going on such as anger, living situation, financial stability, and unfortunately if parents are/have just split… its the taking the child out of their comfort zone and known habit.

    And for those parents out there stating you haven’t seen your children because the other parent, “won’t let you.” Save the excuses! If there is NO court order, or you are in jail, there is no reason for you not to see your child. Call the police for a custody violation, then file an emergency ex-parte to inform the judge of the violation. Guess what? 999 times of 1000, you will have your time back with your child. Especially if its an ongoing issue.

    I am a single father who has had primary custody of my son for 3 1/2 years. Sole custody for 1 year. I have done everything i can for him, sing, read and tuck him in nightly. His mother is in and out of his life sometimes going months without contact. As soon as there is a warrant out for an arrest her attitude changes. After being in contempt 6 times for unpaid support, i get accused of “assaulting” her without any bruises or evidence. then i receive papers saying she wants sole custody!!!!! I have volunteered a hair sample which she refused to provide one as she has a drug addiction. im sooo tired of the systom siding with the mother. i agree wit a lot of what is said above. but

    I’m in a custody battle and my daughter just informed me that she sleeps between her daddy and his attorney. Is this wrong or am I just being crazy??? I can handle the truth…

    I don’t know if I’m happy or appalled to see that I am not the only father going through this hell. First off my nightmare of an ex ran up almost 20,000 in loans and credit card debt in the 6 months she was gone before we were able to get into court. Luckily I wasn’t stuck with any of it. But we have a modified joint parent agreement, which as you all know pretty much means she has sole custody. On my scheduled days with my child, I never know when she will have my child ready to be picked up, its either ” we are out of town, or you never specified so we made other plans. But on the other hand if its a school night and my child isn’t back to her by 7:02 she is texting and raising all sorts of hell. She has repeatedly made false accusations against me, and has tried to physically attack my current fiancee during a custody exchange….. right in front of my child. Speaking with my lawyer, he pretty much said ” if you dont have video proof theres really nothing we can do at this point.” What a crock. Her latest stunt was waiting until I have planned and booked out vacation to Disney world this summer, then she booked the exact same vacation the week before I did. Just to further complicate things. I feel like a child having to repeatedly contact my lawyer and make a joint journal about this crap. We might as well not have an agreement, because she doesn’t follow it at all.

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