Choosing Mom or Dad: Can A Child Choose Where To Live?

age of child choose custodyBy Erica Christian

Divorce Attorney, Cordell & Cordell

Divorce can be a nasty process. When child custody is an issue, divorce is even more contentious. Some parents want to leave the custody battle up to the child, thus the inevitable question:

How old does a child have to be to decide where and with which parent they want to live?

There may be a specific statute in your state that provides for an age when a child may determine or provide input as to the child custody decision. When there is a custody dispute in my state (Wisconsin), the court appoints a Guardian ad Litem regardless of the age of the minor child, to determine the best interests of the child.

Generally, a child can testify when they are of sufficient maturity to understand and take the oath to testify truthfully. However, the child’s wishes are usually only one factor the court will use to determine the best interest of the child. (Read more about the best interest of the child standard.) In some states, the judge must determine whether permitting the child to state a preference is even in the child’s best interests.

Usually by 12 years old a child can testify. As the child gets older, his or her wishes carry more weight. By 15 or 16 if the child is of general maturity and has logical reasons for changing the custody, the court will often abide by the child’s wishes.  The key is that the child has to have a logical reason for changing the present support and placement.

Child custody statutes routinely require the fact-finder to consider the child’s preferences. Despite their speculative nature, preferences are important to the case – and to parents’ rights.

Therefore, state rules for preference testimony strike a balance between protecting children from the pain of having to choose and ensuring their preference testimony is reliable, or as reliable as can be.

You should contact an attorney licensed in your state to inquire as to whether a statute defines when a child can decide and the standard the courts apply in determining custody and placement.

Cordell & Cordell has men’s divorce lawyers located nationwide.


erica christianErica Christian is an Associate Attorney in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin, office of Cordell & Cordell, P.C. She is licensed to practice law in the state of Wisconsin. She is a member of the Wisconsin Bar Association, the Family Law Section and the Children’s Law Section.

Ms. Christian received her B.A. in Journalism and Mass Communication as well as her Juris Doctor from the University of Wisconsin, graduating with academic distinction.

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160 comments on “Choosing Mom or Dad: Can A Child Choose Where To Live?

    Hi my name is Paris and my mom and dad got a divorce my mom got me. but i want to live with my dad. i lived in Washington but my mom brought me California and i want to go back to Washington to live with my dad because i know he could take way better care of me and all my friends are down there. My mom lives with her own mom!!! and my dad on the other hand has lots of money. And im only 12 years old

    You should not want to go back because he has lots of money … I know it is really hard for you .. I went through the same thing but if you need someone to talk to .

    Hello my name is Calton Moore im 10 years old and my mom + dad got a divorce when i was 4,My Dad wants me to come and live with him and yes i do want to but all my friends are at my moms house. My mom has more money and a nicer house than my dad does but my dad works harder than she does and my dad is more fair( my mom always lets my sister have her friend over and im in my room crying because its not fair and she never lets my friends over) he always lets me do stuff both my sister and me want. My mom has custody over me and she didnt let my sister live with my dad when she was 13. Help please!

    Im Cooper, im 13 and my mom has custody on me, my mom and I dont have the best relationship and I really dont want to be with her. Ive lived in georgia for 3 years and my dad lives in Vancouver Canada, my hometown where all my friends are, my dad may not have lots of money but hes nice and kind to me., they got divorced when i was about 6 and that was the saddest day of my life. Recently my mom has limited my time on skype for me to talk to my dad. I feel like shes trying to further me away from him. Right now they are at court and My dad is trying to take custody over me. Which id love. But im around the age where i can choose but i dont know how to tell my mom i want to live with my dad. I have troubles sleeping at night because i miss my dad so much.

    When in the situation, it sucks, i’m there to but you have to sit down with your mom and talk to her. It’s going to break her heart to know her “baby” doesn’t want to be with her because she’s going to feel she failed you. If they are still going to court you can go and testify saying you would like to go with your father. If you would still want to go to your moms then they would have to talk about summer vacation. I’m 15 and i’m trying to go to my moms.. I get limited time to talk to her to. All anyone can say is you have to be the strong one and talk to your mom about your feelings about it. She needs to know you’re hurting over it to.

    I am Tyler Nicole and my mom has custody of me . I really want to live with my dad tho because hes nice to me and understands me . My mom may buy me nice things like shoes clothes and keeps a roof over my head but she keeps me stuck in the house like a dog i am almost 15 she wont let me go to the movies at night or have fun with friends and i just asked her if i can see my cousin and aunt who i miss so much but she said no because she doesnt like them and that really hurt my feelings . Ive ran away twice from her and still am forced back ive told her i have wanted to live with my dad and that hurt her but i didnt mean to because i was serious my dad treats me great he lets me see my family and friends he lets me see my little sister and he does what he can for me I also want to live with him because of school he lives by a school which all my friends go to . Right now (no offense) i am black at a mostly asian and white school they make racist comments to me and i tell my mom but shes like well thats gonna happen i tell the teachers they don’t believe me i hate it there 💯 on top of that my mom hardly pays attention to me shes either working on the phone or outside drinking a wine . She caused my older sister anxiety attacks from stress and i dont wanna be like that I WILL LIVE WITH MY DAD . Period

    I am Tayler and I have lived with my mom my whole life but I just don’t feel comfterble living with my mom anymore I stayed with my daddy on fall break and resized me life would be better with my dad and I have tried to come out and tell my mom but she always says go do it when I get ready to pack up she never actually lets me leave? Why? I want to live with my dad y doesn’t she want me to be happy?? Please HELP ME

    Hey I’m crystal and I’m in the exact situation too. I just want to let you know I’m the same age and going through the same thing.Your not alone in this. I hope end the end you get what you want

    I have the same problem im awake thinking about him in the night and at school i get in trouble because i dont do my work because i think about my dad

    I live in the country with my mum and every second weekend I go to my dads in the city. On the holidays I spend a week with my dad and it is boring and there is nothing to do. I always want to come home to mums. Some weekends when I’m with dad and it’s time to go back to mums l want to spend extra time with dad. My parents divorced when I was 5 and I’m 12 now. It is hard and complicated but I’m getting through it all.

    I’m 15 and I live my mom and my real dad, but I would rather live with my step dad he has joint custody but we moved and my dad won’t let me see him, he’s not very nice to my mom and he constantly gives me stress. What do I do?

    i know i am probably like 3 years late but i need help!!! So im only 12 years old and i live with my mom and go to my dads house on the weekends (they said i dont have to go everytime if i didnt want to) and my dad and stepmom live an hour away from were i live with my mom and my mom is getting pretty old. She is a year from 60 and i feel like it is possible that she passes away in the 10 years or so and im very young. If she passes away, i do NOT want to go live with my dad and stepmom (she diesnt treat my like her own kid and i think she should ) so how would i deal with this? If I am older than 18 when she passes away than will i get to live by meself or do i have to move away to my dad? I have lots of family and friends and my dad and my stepmoms family is the only family that loves an hour away! I have a best friend who has always been for me and we even planned to go to the same college togethe but im not so sure that will happen. :( PLEASE HELP AND REPLY TO ME!!! 😓

    If you are 18 or older than 18 when she passes away do not worry you don’t have to live with your dad. However, if she passes away before you turn 18 then you might have to go live with your dad or ask to live with another family member. Also how long have your stepmom and dad been together? She could just not be comfortable. I get that she’s your stepmom, but imagine marrying someone and having a child pop up into your life which you now have to take care of.

    I am Micaela my parents got divorced when I was a little over 4-5 but since my mom is a flight attendant she gets to choose her schedule. So she gets to choose when she has us because i switch back and forth. But idl my mom most night when im here i really miss my dad and was trying to figure our how i can choose who i live with even tho the court already says this and that is there a way???? please reply and if there is a way how do i tell my mom i am 13-2

    I’m 12 this year and I live with both of my parents I swap houses every Friday but just resontly I have started horses riding at my moms and I would like to spend more time with her but I still don’t want my dad to feel bad I’m starting netball I had to stay at my friends house so then I could go to netball but when my dad picked me up he was yelling at me and swearing about how far the drive Is and he told me that he didn’t want me playing because he didn’t want to drive down and my mom always would I really want to live with her but still want to see my dad please reply

    Hi my name is michael I am turing 12 in february 2016 whatever you do even if it sucks do not go to your dad plz just kisten to me just dont do it thats when the step mother comes in next thing you know they dont tell you that they got married 3 or 4 years ago in hawaii your dad spends 1.2 million dollars for his freaking wife buys her everything and dont get anything good back from your dad at all yes you get stuff games that cost money and rc car that cost 500 dollarsa and a apple computer yes that is spoiled and i’ve been threw it but now its all gone i dont want get spoiled again right now i just want one thing and its a airsoft gun my dad wont let me have it, i make my bed do chores etc. and thats good for me yes i know that many kid dont do that but its whatever

    I live with my mother, and my parents are divorced, but my mother thinks that I should live with my father so I could be happier. I told her that I wouldn’t be happy with either parent so I will just stay where I am now and now she’s forcing it on me. If I don’t change she’s going to kick me out of my house and make me live with my father. The thing is, my father already has a family who he is living with. And I have nothing to change about how I act. My mom keeps on telling me and herself that I’m the issue, but she’s the one who emotionally and physically abuses me. What do I do??

    I’m 16. My dad and mom have been divorced since I was 4 & at that time my dad got custody of me up until I was 14. Me and my dad start butting heads all because I was becoming a teenager so I ran to my mom & she took it back to court. They have since then had joint custody of me, my mom being primary custodian. My dad was only granted standard visitation. However, lately I’m realizing that I made a hug mistake by doing that. The past few weeks I’ve mostly been staying at my dads & my mom is trying to make me come home. I don’t want too and I think I’ve made myself clear on that. Can she make me? Do I need to contact my guardian a litem?

    I have no idea! I recently have made that mistake and I want to move back to my dad’s and my mom refuses to let me go back. Is there anyway I can just move back there?

    I would talk to your guardian adlightem if you have one or talk to your dad about starting the process through court if your parents can’t agree.

    Neither of your parents can FORCE you to live either place. My dad am mom got divorced 6 yrs ago and i have lived with my dad since then. We went to court two years ago when i wanted to live with my dad and he got custody of me and i was supposed to visit my mother but i decided i didn’t want to even see her so i told her that i was not going to even visit. She couldn’t make me go anywhere unless she went back to court so she left it alone. Now, 2 yrs later, i realized the same thing: That i had made a huge mistake as well. I am still with my dad but in a few months I’m moving to my moms place because of alot of major issues me and my dad has regarding: Religion, my becoming a teenager as well, my views.opinions, all that.

    Hi my names vanessa and I’ve been going through the same sort of thing does anyone know how I am supposed to let my mom know I don’t want to live with her , without her getting mad or sad . That just makes this more difficult but I don’t want to live with her . I don’t know what to do anymor !

    You just have to sit down with her and tell her, she’s going to cry because she’s going to feel she has failed you. It’s just something you will have to talk to her about.

    I’m Alena and I’m 15, just say that you miss your dad and would like to live with him for a bit, or just be straight up, she knows you love her, and just wants the best for you.

    Ok im 15 and my mom has primary custodian of me, but recently me and my mom have been arguing daily. And i think if there is anyway i can save my relationship with her i will have to move to my dad’s and give him primary custodian and she would have visitation instead. My vocab might be off so what i mean is i mainly live with my mom but i still see my dad over breaks and one weekened a month sometimes more, all i want to do is just flip it where i mainly live with my dad but still visit my mom over breaks and weekeneds. Do i have to testify in court or do my parents just have to do it.

    No, you won’t have to testify in court. What will happen is they will give you a guardian adlightem (the person in court who looks after the welfare of the children.) that you will have an appointment with and tell what you want to do and why. Based off of what you say they will give a heavily weighted suggestion to the court as to what type of custody and with whom should be placed. But you will not have to go to court

    Aunt or Mom
    I’m 14 Iive with my grandma for right now. Me and my mom are yelling at each other that I need to ether live with her or with my grandma my mom is divorced. She has been married 4 times once with my real dad and the second and fourth time with my step dad Mike and third time with this guy named buddy. I want to live with my Aunt Brenda because she can spend time with me and if I’m with my mom all she does is yell at me. I’ve already am self harming myself and the reason is because im getting bullied and she is forcing me to live with her what should I do.

    Please don’t harm your slelf I know that it’s a lot of pressure and you feel terrible about your self but don’t let the bully’s get what they want by harming your self instead try to logically work out the problem try to get your mom to understand what you want and your problems and maybe she will let you go live with your aunt but if this don’t work get up with one of your friends or someone close to you and try to stay with them for a couple of days and settle everything in your mind and maybe call someone you can trust and talk it out with them because I know that I’m just a stranger but if you ever need someone to talk to and me ok Instagram and I’ll dm you @S.M.JOHNSON.1376

    I’m 16 years old soo to be 17 and my parents are divorce since I’m 1 year old my mom got my full custody but I don’t like her anymore She is always screaming at me she treats me like a maid and I just don’t want to be here she doesent even love me or demostrates care for me! I feel like I’m trash to her and she makes me feel like it to I want to go live with my dad but we live in to different states!
    What can I do can I go with him or do I have to stay with my mom until I’m 18?

    Living with Mom
    See, I want to go live with my mom, she doesnt have a job, she is living in an apartment, but I really think it’d be better if I did. My dad has smoking, drinking and anger issues. I love my dad, but I don’t want to live with him anymore, I always smell like smoke when I leave the house. I can’t get rid of the smell, and he is never going to stop, he has been doing it since he was 14. I don’t know what to do, because my dad pays for a lot of my things, he tries to be a good parent, but he has a lot of problems. He refuses to smoke outside. I know he will be really sad if I leave. I dont want to hurt his feelings, I know that if I left to go live with my mom, I wouldn’t be able to do dance. I just am wondering if I did go live with my mom, if she would get some sort of child support.
    I dont know what to do. I am only 12. I don’t want my dad messed up even more than he already is.

    I’m having the same problem but im 14 (gonna be 15 in about 2 months) I argue with my dad daily and he smokes and drinks and has anger issues, i’ve been living there 3 years and my mom lives in texas, he always said “if you gotta make a move, go ahead and call” so yesterday i finally did, and now he’s trying to force me to stay with him. Well i’m not going down without a fight, i will be leaving in a matter of days and it will include cops and court. Yes there will be problems but you know what, i love my mother and i just cannot live with him anymore.

    I live with my mom on weekdays and supposed to be at my dad’s on weekends but I have so much with school and stuff I haven’t been able to go. He gets angry and is verbally abusive in my eyes.. it made me really depressed and when he gets mad at me I feel worse hes extremely hurtful but I’m scared to take it to court because I don’t know what he’ll do.. I’m 15 and I hate my living situation.. just we need money.. any advice would help..

    my parents divorced because my mom cheated on my dad, the weekends with dad are fun but me and my sister are always getting brainwashed, my sister is treating my mom like crap. dad is always complaining about his life. i can’t choose a side because i don’t want to hurt any ones feelings. i know my mom did the wrong thing but she is still my mother. i love her very much and i love my dad too. divorces are so hard. i am only 12.

    classiffied can you try and talk to your dad? Tell him that you love him and miss him and look forward to spend the weekend with him, but when he tells you how bad his life is it makes you sad. Ask him what you can do?

    Home >> Articles >> Choosing Mom or Dad: Can A Child Choose Where To Live? Choosing Mom or Dad: Can A Child Choose Where To Live?
    Im 12 aaaaand, my mom one time called me an a** ive decided that i want my dad to have full custody over me 😀 Soooooo can i do that Now or do i have to wait?

    My parents are getting a divorce. They are in the middle of it right now. I want to live with my mom. So do my sisters and my brother. We thought things were gonna be ok but that my dad at the last minute decided he wanted full custody. My mom says shes not going to let that happen. I love my dad. We all do. But, we need our mother. My dad works all the time so it would be too stressful and hard on us and him if he got full custody. We need to live with my mom. We all know that it would be so much better and easier. But my dad won’t listen. I’m 13….I love both of my parents equally but it would just be best for everyone if we lived with our mom. She is willing to let us see my dad whenever we want. And let him get the most out of the whole $ issue. I want to know if since I’m 13…if I can choose who I get to live with. Can I? I’m willing to do whatever possible to make sure that way stay we or at least me…stay will my mom.

    Well.. most of your reasonings to live with the opposite parent are not a good reason. The courts would more than likely throw the case out or not even listen to it just because you’re fighting with your mother or father. As long as your parent is providing food, clothes, education, and a roof over your head their job is done! you have to come up with a logical reason why you would like to move in with your mom or dad.. “Just because we fight a lot.” is NOT a reason! Ex. I am almost 16, my mother has kicked me out of the house in the freezing cold and I am failing my studies in school because she simply doesn’t care enough, she has almost broken my ribs and hand before and is not working, therefore we have “no money” other then child support from my father thank god! but reading these it sounds like petty reasons and the court isn’t just going to say “Ok, you can go live with them” it takes awhile and if your parents don’t just come to an agreement you have to go through curt, write a letter, and if you DO get granted the privilege to live with that parent you have to move, find a new school, doctor, dentist, move all of your stuff or in most cases (get new stuff). Think about it before.. and 12,13,14 is too young to be going through that.

    Ok so I just recently moved to Washington with my aunt and my mom lives in California. I want to live with my mom because she’s my mother and I think most growing children need there mom. I’m a 12 year old girl. Can I pick to go back home with my mom?

    My father is constantly verbally abusive to my mother and at times me as well. When my mom first married my dad, she did it soley because she was pregnant with me and wanted me to grow up with a father. Since then he has shouted obsenities constantly at my mother, never takes responsibility for his actions, and attempts to guilt me out by telling me that I don’t love or respect him and I am ruining his marriage with my mom. I’ve had it. I’ve wanted my mom to get a divorce for a while now. She is obviously unhappy and the situation we are in is not healthy. She says she will go through the divorce once I graduate, but things have progressively worsened and I believe she will divorce him very soon. I will be 18 in a few months and am worried if my parents do get divorced I will be placed with my father as my mom makes a very small income in comparison to my dad. However, he has severe ADD which he refuses to take meds for and is rarely able to hold down a job for more than a year. My mom has practically raised me on her own. Do I have a case to stay with my mom if they get divorced before I’m 18?

    I’m 12 years old and resently I lived with my grandparents. I just moved in with my mom but my grandparents still have legal guardian ship. but I really want to live with my dad. Hes the best thing thats ever happened to me. I dont know how to tell anyone this because i dont want my mom and step dad to scream at me. I need help.

    My court date is tomorrow
    So my court date is tomorrow, July 3rd 2014, and my mom has custody of my two sisters and I. We have experienced child abuse since we were super little, like yanking our hair, pushing us towards walls, slapping us repeatedly, and kicking us while we are down. It isn’t just physical abuse it is also emotional abuse. For example, she would make racist comments, call us her slaves, and say we were going to hell if we didn’t do something right away, like massage her. I am thirteen right now, I have a 15 and 11 year old sister. My mom currently doesn’t give us our child support money. She buys food once every 2 weeks and our house has 8 people living in it. She put a lock on the fridge do it is impossible to get food when i come back from school and i absolutely loathe having dinner with her because she is always fighting with us along with her husband. Two weeks ago my stepdad beat my older sister up and kept hitting me, because he has the cops on his side and is always calling them saying we are “terrorizing” my mom so they told him that he could hit us. But all he does is lie right now I am at my aunts house and waiting for the order. They will probably twist us into a more terrible lie and tell it in court. My dad USED to gamble and he USED to hit my mom do that won’t look good on his part, but my mom has reports on us saying that we are trouble. I need help with this ASAP. Hopefully, my dad gets custody already.

    Hi my name is krysta I am 16 years old my parents have been separated since I was 3 I have just recently decided I want to live with my dad. He lives in Alabama but my mom lives in Ohio so I only get to see my dad during summer break. My mom and I have been bunting heads lattly she just got a new boyfrend and we don’t get along great my mom has also tried to anyway from my dad that recentaly just stopped and tried to make him seem like a bad father which he isnt but I talked to my mom and told her I don’t want to live with her anymore and she said no can she do this??

    My parents have been divorced since I was 2. My mom has primary custody and I’m only with my dad every other weekend and Wednesday nights and then I stay over every other Tuesday. During summer I am there even more, Tuesday and Wednesdays nights, and of course every other weekend. My problem is that I don’t wanna go to my dad’s at all. I don’t feel comfortable there, I never have. Him and his wife that he married after my mom (my stepmom) had a kid when I was 7 so he is 7 years younger than me so of course everything is about him. My stepmom and dad also argue constantly and my dad is always on the phone. He is either on the phone with work or something about baseball and it really hurts when I can barely say bye to him some mornings because he is on the phone. Should me and my mom contact the master to eliminate me seeing him?

    Ive never liked my mom in general because she is so rude and disresepctful to me and she has abused me several times she pullef me by my hair into her house and then we got into a bloody fistfight and she broke my nose and my stepdad slammed me into the wall several timez and i told my dad i want 2 live with him and he said when he gets custody over me cause my mom and dad were never married when they had me so does it cost money for my dad to get full custody over me and keep me away from my mom for good and have no contact at all with my mom?

    i dont know
    My dad can be a strick loving parent and puts his kids before him never gives up my mom is loving parent who trys to get thing done when it needs to be they both loves me to death and will do anything they can do to help

    both parents have positions in my life that balance out, but i can only choose one parent
    my parents are still in court and i can only choose one. they both hit me, but with their reasons, like bad grades. but my father is the one who is the dependant, but i’m scared that if i leave my mother she will experience emotional breakdown and truma. my father made an excuse that he has low income and somehow he is only going to pay sixty dollars for 3 children in one month, september, there is a supervised visitation with my father so far(my mother has current custody, i dont know wether it will stay like that). i’ve also been threatened by my mother that bad things will happen if i decide to live with my father, which i doubt but cant deny. now i’m in indesicion of who to live with :(

    trying to help my friend
    I am trying to help my friend out with a parent problem. she is 13 she currently lives with her mom and wants to live with her dad. i was wondering if it would be worth her trying to live with her dad. she has told me that if she gets in trouble (for doing absolutly nothing or pointless things) her mom sends her down to her room and wont feed her lunch/dinner as a punishment. does what her mom do count as child abuse. my friend told me that her mom has physically hurt her but i am not sure how many times. her mom also has emotionally abused her so much she has no self-esteem and is very sensitive. i really want her to live with her dad so she can be happy but i dont know if she can stand up to her mom because she is terrified of her. i really want help for her.

    figuring out where i wanna live
    When i was a little baby my mom gave me to my great grandparents, they have raised me for 16 years. And now my mom beginning of 2013 i met my dad for my first time and i wanted to wait tell i was 18 but it happened so quickly. so now hes back into my life, and i keep telling my grandparents i wanna live with my dad now, because i wanna be with my dad. But my mom has full custody and my great grandparents have Guardianship. This past week i told my great grandpa i want to live with my real dad. I wanna be with him. my family don’t like my dad but i do hes back in my life, and i wanna be around him.

    i pick my daddy over my mom. but she picks a fight all the time. well i want to live with my daddy im 16 and i have a choice where i want to live.

    Can I move yet
    Ohkay so I lived with my mom for two years. Then I moved with my dad last year and it was all good at first! Then lately me and my dad have been fighting back and forth for like the last two months. When my sister does something he blames me for it. Also I’m 15 so am I able to take him to court and see if I can move in with my mother?

    I’m 15 and my parents have been divorced since I was 7. My brother and I see my dad on the weekends. My mom got remarried and my dad lives alone in a one bedroom apartment. I hate admitting that I like my moms house more because it’s bigger and cleaner and is a nice environment. My dad’s place is dirty, cramped, and smelly. He’s struggling with money right now and sometimes there’s no food. We don’t really talk when we’re there, he usually just sleeps. I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining because he really is trying, but I hate his apartment. I like my mom’ better even though I love them equally. Sometimes I don’t even go to his place. I can tell it hurts him and I always feel terrible about it. I’m afraid to confront him about it because he has anger issues and unpredictable moods. He’s depressed and lonely when we aren’t there. How can confront him about these feelings?

    So, Im 15 years old and had enough of my moms crap, shes always telling me that I don’t do anything and that I just sit around and all that stuff. Well I called my dads lawyer and his lawyer said that I can Live with my dad with I want to? Well does anyone know how long this will take to happen because i’m sick of living with my mom… HELP??

    I’m 12 my names Alyssa my parents have been divorced since I was 4 I have lived with my mom my whole life I have 2 brothers one of the lives with me and my mom and the other one with my dad my mom has been lying to the court and doesn’t let me visit my dad she is rude and mean criticizes me I want to live with me dad but my brother is here and my best friend since I was 5 I love her and I don’t want to leave her but I really need to start fresh I don’t know what to do :(

    I am 14 and in April I will be 15 my mom has custody of me and my dad has visitation rights every other weekend and two weeks during the summer. My mom and dad was divorced before I was even born. My dad when I was 4 married my stepmom I use to never want to leave my dad’s but then my half sister was born she’s really annoying then I have a little half brother who constantly hits kicks jumps and pushes me he gets away with everything my stepmom tells me I need to go back to where I came from and talk bad about me behind my back so now I don’t even want to be at my dad’s so I always just go to my aunt’s when I go to my dad’s but is there a way so I don’t have to be at my dads at all I love my dad just don’t like my.stepmom and half brother i use to cut because of them.

    I’ve lived with my mom my whole life, but now it feels like no matter what i do i get yelled at. I’m scared to leave though because i still love my mom…my dad wants me to live with him, so its a hard burden to carry.

    Hi I’m 14 and I really want to live with my mom I have to wait for a while tho since she’s in jail right now for alcohol abuse. But she’s getting out in a month she’s just waiting for a bed at first step. But she is trying really hard!!! I want to live with her because my grandmother yells at me and my siblings. I wouldn’t want my siblings to live with me and my mother because if she gets out and I get to live with her, after she gets cleared up because if she gets high and comes home and acts weird or she brings someone home or something I don’t want them to see that. I just don’t know of when I’d get that chance.

    I am 14 years old my parents got a divorce when i was one and my dad got full custody and i only got to see my mom every other weekend but 3 years ago dad changed it didnt go to court or anything he just said my sister and i can see mom every other week and all of a sudden he tell me i cant see her its going back to the everyother weekend and i hate it i feel depressed and i just wanna cry i love my mom more than dad, because i cant stand his wife and hes not a dad to me i wanna live with mom.

    I just turned 16 on March 19th. My parents divorced in June I think? Possibly December. And I asked them both if I had a say into where I would live and they just avoided the question. My mother, her fiánce and I argue on a daily bases. I’m so sick of it and I wish to move with my dad. Biggest question to me is, can and do I have a right to? I have no idea where to start.

    I’m 16 years old. My father has legal custody of me. I have not seen my mother for around seven years. But I want to live with her now. I have Ben talking to her recently, just not seen her in person. I just hate my home life with my father. I’m not abused or anything, he doesn’t do drugs or anything harmful to me. I don’t have a very good reason for wanting to leave other than he treats me like a maid and unfair. I have a stable job, and he takes all of my paychecks. I do not get any of them. I just want to live with my mom. Can I up and leave when I turn 17? Will the court need to be involved?

    I’m 14 years old and my parents have been separated for a couple of years now, and officials divorced for a while. In my situation I stay with my dad on Thursdays and every other weekend from Thursday to Sunday. The rest of the time I stay with my mom.
    I want to stay with my mom all of the time. I have really bad anxiety about school, homework, sports, and pretty much life in general. Although I’ve never been diagnosed with anxiety, sometimes I throw up because I get so apprehensive. Having to pack up my life and move every week really stresses me out. Add that to how much homework I have this year, and a lot of the time my stomach is in knots because I’m so worried. Also, sometimes my dad, sister, and I go out to dinner, but nobody told me of the plans, so when I get back home I have no time to do my homework, much less relax or watch some tv.
    My dad and I also fight a lot. This also gives me a lot of stress. His personality really aggravates me. He seems to think that I blame him for the divorce, but I really don’t. He just bothers me for a lot of reasons. He always needs to be in the center of attention, the volume of the radio is always turned all the way up (which really hurts my ears), he gets into my personal space all the time when I’d rather just be alone, and he uses all of my stuff (shampoo, body wash, soap, etc.).
    I’m an introvert, so I tend to spend most of my time in my room, usually doing homework. My dad always says that I’m avoiding him, that I clearly hate him (and I don’t! I like him but he can be very nettlesome), and that I don’t act this way at my mom’s house. I spend 99.9% of my free time in my room no matter which house I’m at.
    He can’t stand when he has nothing to do. I’ll be perfectly content to use my little bit of spare time to read a book or watch and episode of my favorite TV show, but he always tries to make me do whatever he wants to do. I have to sit and watch a movie that I really don’t enjoy for two hours just because he says so when I have a ton of homework.
    His house is also not great. I’d rather sleep on the floor with a sleeping bag than on the mattress he provides. The doors don’t lock and he always barges into my room without knocking.
    He is always out of the house, too. Most of time he is out having dinner with his friends and/or drinking alcohol (He’s definitely not an alcoholic, but he does favor the drink). I don’t understand why I have to stay at his house when he’s not even here when I could be spending time with my mom (who I don’t see that much because of the way her work schedule is).
    My dad also acts like everything he does is so great. He always brags about he drove me to school that one time (I take the bus, but it was in the negative temperatures, so I asked for a ride), how he drives my friends and I everywhere, how he pays for all of our clothes (when my mom actually pays for everything), and just how great he is to us. But other times he complains about ‘how much’ he does for us.
    In conclusion, my dad’s personality grates on my nerves and I don’t feel at home in his house. Constantly switching living arrangements gives me lots of anxiety. Is there a way that I could change my current situation into one that better suits my needs as a growing adolescent?


    Hi I am Lani.I really wish I could go live with my dad he understands me more than my mom and doesn’t slap me when I even didn’t have to do anything wrong I am only 10 in may be 11. Please help me move with my daddy in illinois. PLEASE LET ME MOVE

    I’m trying for my grandma to get full custody over me because if I’m with my mom or dad I feel like the only way out of going to either of there houses is suicide, I’m at my dads house right now and I am thinking about doing suicide because all he does is catter to my Brother and I can tell he loves him more but that’s not the point I want to know if I can get my grandma full custody over me can anyone help I am 13 years old .thank you

    I’m am the child on this website and I want to go live with my dad I will be twelve in a month. So if I show this to my mom will it give her some thought in mind

    Hi I am keyera . I want to live with my dad because my mom would call me names and take my things even though my mom didn’t buy them[example my phone it has been two months].My dad give me space and super cool while my mom is nosy and would slap me .she also forces me to eat I am 11 in 6 grade I will be 12 in 2 month , please help me move?!!!!

    Hi, my name’s Tina I live with my mother and will be turning 18 in just a little over a month can I go ahead and leave home were not getting along and I want to go live with my boyfriend could my mom get me for a runaway! Also she would know where I was?

    Im 16 in a month and before yesterdsay I had a job, a bank account with money in it, a car and a phone. My mum took these things form me because I got a keycard for my account and took $50 for my friends birthday present without telling her. In the middle of her rant at me for being a liar and a conniving bitch I stormed off and didnt return until 6:30 pm, when my younger sister told me mum had been telling my step dad everything including “I dont care if she gets picked up by a pedo or dies.” nice. I need this job for my horse riding, for swimming training, my car insurance and everything else towards my desired career, a police officer. My mum and me have a very rocky relationship and all my friends agree shes completely nuts. I didnt live with her for a year and a bit because I ran away a couple years back when I was 12 i think. She used to fight me but I never fought back. Dragging, biting, pushing and throwing. I remember her yelling at me “You’re just like your Dad, stay away from my kids you monster.” when i came crying to the kids on the couch. She and her husband bullied me and i wanted to die alot of the time but i have never tried and i have never self harmed. Her husband perved on me in the bath when i wa younger too. I told my Dad these things and i lived with him for 9 months. His girlfriend and children were equally horrible and i left to live with my grandparents for 3 months. Im not quite sure what happened but i moved back in with her and have since regreted it. This thing has gone to family court before, VRO’s, a wintess thingy and other things. Even DCP but mum has her hands in with them lot where I live. I want to live with my best friend and continue going to work with her , I dont mind paying the weekly hundred cus mum made me pay for fuel aswell so meh 😛 Im just wondering who do I say this to? Not mum shell blow up on me and say how ungrateful i am and what not. I dont love her or trust her. I haven’t for a few years, shes just another authoruty figure in my life, who likes to bully me into respecting her.

    I’m 16 years old and my parents never got married they have avoided court because they didn’t want to deal with the legal things. I live with my mom but I visit my dad once or twice a month and he is demanding for me to go over there and I do not want to because we have been butting heads. my friend told me if they never went to court I am allowed to choose when I want to go over there I was wondering if this was true?

    Im 13 o dislike my step dad only bc i get in trouble for everything and he favors my brother over me i am constantly stressed at my moms bc i get in trouble for the most unintellegent way like i triped on a step and got in trouble. my dad has a way sutible home with a happy family that includes my step mom and 2 step sisters. i have chores at both houses and responsiblities my moms house is just way way more strict only cause my step dad makes it and i get in trouble for something but my brother will do the same and nothing will happen. my step dad hates me so i hate him amd my dad well i barley get to see him during the school year and so i want to move to my dads. ihope to accomplish less stress and to see my dad more and also to get away from my step dad can someone tell me what i need to do to acomplish this i NEED help

    Hi. I’m 15!!!!My mom is planning on leaving my dad and she wants me to live with her but I want to live with my dad. But my mom says that she won’t let me see or talk to my dad is that right or not. And if I go with my dad he would let me see my mom but she won’t let me cause she doesn’t wanna see or talk to my dad. idk what to do.

    I’m 15 and I have a 10 year old brother. My parents have been arguing a lot and my mom has been threatening my dad that he should leave. I don’t really know anything about divorce and the legal stuff that’s involved. I just want to know everything that I can know and my rights in the divorce if it ever happens. I also want to know how to help my brother in every way possible bc he’s very emotional and I don’t want him to be very stressed about it if it happens. I don’t really know where I stand and idk how I feel about anything I just want to know how to help my brother cope with the fighting and maybe later on a divorce.

    just assure your brother that he has you support and try to not talk about the subject and give him too much information about what is going on. Give him the basics and then make sure he know that you are there for him and everything will turn out ok. I am 16 and I have 7 little siblings. my parents have been divorced for 4 years. they share costody 50/50. one week with my dad and then the next with my mom. my mom talks bad about me to my other siblings. she lies to me. I hate my stepdad and the whole atmosphere of my moms house just isn’t good. I want to move to my dads. I already mentioned it to my mom. she was really mad and told me I needed to go to a support group. I’m moving to my dads in 2 days no matter what she says or threatens to do. I really don’t know what I’m going to tell my siblings or how they are going to react because I am the oldest.

    Hi I’m 14 I’ve been living with my dad and now my mom wants me to move with her I pushed this whole court thing because I thought my mom treated me better but now my dad is saying reasons not to go with her and my mom is saying reasons not to stay with my dad I love both of them and they both are equals how do I choose?

    I know how your feeling. That’s exactly how I am feeling right now. Except my mom doesn’t know I want to move in with my dad. What you feel in your heart is what you feel. If you still want to live with your dad. Do it. If you want to live with your mom and have to go to court to get what you want, fight for it. Listen to what you want. Wright down what their saying and weigh that on your choices. Make a list of pros and cons for each parent. That will help you, at least it did for me :)

    Hi my name is Amber I’ve for a long time wanted to go live with my dad and now that i have turned 12 me and my dad have been talking about this. I haven’t told my mom because last time I asked her to at least speak to my dad about it she screamed and yelled at the both of us. My dad says that he is going to ask around to see if its legal to just come pick me up, because no one has legal custody of me….I’m really confused

    I’m 16 and my parents seperated when I was around 11 years old because my dad was always drunk and he got really angry when he was drunk. I have lived with my mom ever since and we have a really good relationship. I love her so much. My dad about 3 years ago finally decided to get sober so now he doesn’t drink anymore. My mom has been an alcoholic ever since she was a teenager and I hate being around her when she’s drunk. I feel like I never get to really TALK to her because she’s a stranger when she’s drunk. Also I have a ‘stepfather’ and he’s REALLY horrible, he verbally abuses me and my twin sister and blames us for every single thing that goes wrong at our house, he makes me feel worthless and horrible. My mom has told me again and again that she will ‘talk to him’ about it but my stepfather never changes. I also live in the middle of nowhere and my dad lives in the city. I feel so isolated from the world and I hate my town, school and home life. Now that my dad is a recovering alcoholic I want to live with him. Life at his house would be so much better. The only thing stopping me is actually telling my mom. I love my mom so much but I really don’t want to hurt her feelings. I’m terrified that if I tell her that I want to move in with my dad that she’ll start crying and I’ll feel so guilty. I don’t know what to do :(

    You have to tell her especially if she still is getting drunk. She may not believe that your father has changed bit you need to see him and she can’t stop you from doing that. Will she be hurt probably but she will always live you.

    My mom and I got stronger in the last couple months and my dad and I got worst. My mom is going to jail for 18 months, I have shared custody with my mom and dad. My dad became very strict and weird, I could explain a lot but honestly it’s a lot to tell about. He doesn’t abuse me at all or anything. Now that my mom is leaving I want to stay with my nana(my moms mom) every other week. Well my dad is not allowing that. He’s really making this a lot worst for me than it has to be. My mom has talked to her lawyer and for me to live with my nana, because I have all the rights to make that choice, I’ll have to talk to a judge. This is hard for me, I don’t want to spend my sophomore and half of my Junior year, with my dad. I’m not aloud to do anything, I still have a bedtime at 9:30 and a lot of other stuff that is just not right. I’ve been crying all day and I cry all the time when I’m at my dad.

    I am 15 and I live with my dad for 4 years and now I want to move in with my mom all my family is in Florida and my dad lives in Tennessee but I like both places but each time I come down to see her I want to stay more and more with her she does not have that much money but my dad does and his girlfriend has 2 kids and I really don’t like them but I did what I have to do so he will be happy but I miss my mom more and when I am with my mom I really don’t miss my dad. What do I do plzzzzz help Btw I want to be with my mom and family that lives by here

    So I am 15 and my brother is 14. My dad goes out with his girlfriend literally every night until about 2am and gets drunk and we never see him while his girlfriend is extremely rude and immature and is always calling me a bitch. My mum is in Oregon while my father lives in Colorado and my father has custody while me mum only has visitation rights. We both want to live with our mom because she can support us better in all ways and me dad can’t even stay home for one night. Where do we start to try to take this to court. BTW my mum can’t come out to Colorado but my gran can. My father said to do whatever we want but he isn’t signing any rights to my mother for custody and he wouldn’t even care if I ran away. He just wants to make my mum miserable.

    My parents have been divorced for about four years now and my parents thought it was best for me to live with my mom, and up till now I feel as though everything my mom has done has been for my stepdad who makes me feel like a freak. The other day I was upset and I didn’t know why and my mom asked what was wrong. I said I didn’t know. And he just laughs at me. Like I am some hopeless case that can never be fixed. He says that he “loves me and my brother.” And it feels as though he doesn’t because ever since I got home from vacation on my dad’s side he has been so ticked off and it makes me feel like it’s all my fault. He yelled at my mom that same morning and I feel as though he hates us all. I want to live with my dad but I don’t even know my rights. As a fourteen year old. I want to live with my dad I really do, but I know if my mom wins I’ll never see my dad again. And she’ll hate me forever. What do I do?

    My 14 year has decided that she wants to live with me but she has been with her father since she was two and I need some advice how to get the custody change without costing me an arm an leg for lawyers and court and also wanting to know if I can get this done without a lawyer in Chattanooga Tennessee.

    Im 15 and I have lived with my mom my whole life. I have never even stayed with my father since I was a baby. Every time I mention my father or talk to his family on social media she yells at me stating that my step father has been there for me. And if I want to meet my father so much then I should just go live with him. Well things came up an she took in my 2 cousins now we have 7 kids in the house hold. Things are to hectic or crazy for me and she is always stressed out and yells a lot. I just want to know if there is a possible way that I can go live with my biological father?

    I’m 14 and my parents got divorced when I was 10. My mom has primary custody and I never see my dad. My mom doesn’t want me to talk to him because he cheated on her. I want to live with my dad. My mom is always stressed out yelling and breaking things. My step dad is mentally abusive and is always telling us how much he hates us and how stupid we are but my mom doesn’t believe us. I just want to go live with my dad but I don’t know how.

    Hi I need help. My mum and dad split up over 8yrs ago and I’m 13 but live with my mom and half sister. Since then my dad got married to someone else he also got parental responsibility for and I see him during holidays. I now want to live with my Dad. I have asked my mum before but she would get so upset I wouldn’t go. I’m with my dad now and I don’t want to go back home yet don’t want to stress Mum out coz she says I’m making her ill. So I don’t want to go to court but I still want to see her. But I’m worried that she will call the police and say my dad kidnapped me. What should I do???

    So im 16 and i want to go live with a friend without getting emancipated my dad says its fine iv just moved to his house 9 months ago and my mom is the only thing in the way 10 years ago she got full rights over me now i want to give my dad full rights and i dont want her im my life anymore she has a abuseve husban and he is verbally abuseive to me… How much will it coast to change the parenting plan and if i tell the judge that i want him to have full cusdity will he say yes

    I’m 15 turning 16 in 5 months and my parents have been divorced for about 5 years now and my dad has full custody of me. My mom does have medical problems but they aren’t bad. I wanna loie with my mom but I don’t know how to make that possible. My dad has a great job and stuff but I never feel loved in my own home it’s like I’m a stranger. Everyday when I talk to my mom I know she loves me and would do anything for and I trust her and could tell her anything. Even though my mom doesn’t have a greatest job to support me financially could I go to court and tell the judge I wanna live with my mom

    Im 16 and I want to live with my dad more. My dad has been going to court for 2 years so he can get more custody of me but he still hasn’t. I’m starting school in about a month and want to go to Easton high witch is the town my dad lives. My mom won’t agree to giving my dad more time with me so I can’t go to Easton high. I have to go to Stoughton high again because my mom wont pay for the School currently go to and won’t agree to Easton even though Easton has a better school system than Stoughton and i went to Stoughton before and hated it. Is their anything I can do to change this and if so how

    Im 15 my dad lives in another state my mom and dad split when i was a baby and i live with my mom but im not happy with her here and i want to move in with my dad what can i do i was told u can talk to a guidance counselor

    Hello my name is Bryce I’m 14 years old and I hate going to my Dads house. I have to go to his house every other weekend I can’t go this weeked do to my school football game with my gf but my dad said I have to go. Do I have a choose? I’ve skipped going to his house once before no problem. Please help!

    I am 16 years of age in the state of Washington and my parents are divorced. I have a split custody agreement with my parents and I don’t like living with my mom because of her wife. My mothers wife drinks whenever she has days off and gets into large scale arguments with my mom that end up in lots of yelling and threats. At some points my moms wife will be so hammered that she wants to “teach” me how to fight outside with her. These have gotten ugly and I no longer feel safe here anymore. Do I have enough of a case to stay with just my dad?

    My name is Sam Baker. I am 15 years old. My Mom and Dad split up and I lived with my Mom. Then my Mom got cancer and she was in the hospital and my dad got custody of me until my Mom got better. Then my Dads lawyer plaid my mom dirty to keep me away from my mom. Now my dad wont even let me talk to my mom and i want to live with her because my dad has four kids and he can’t properly take care of us all. My Mom on the other hand has only two kids with a great paying job so that she can take care of us. And my Mother has tried to make a court date but my dad wont accept. How do I live with my Mom.

    Listen man – Court is court. If your mom has submitted paperwork to the court, yo daddy doesn’t HAVE a choice, he MUST show up to the summons of the court paperwork or FORFEIT his rights – the judge then makes the call as to where you will stay.

    My name is Ashlyn I’m Turning 15 in a month. I live in Tennessee my mom as sole custody of me I only see my dad every other weekend he lives only 30 minutes away from me. I want to be able to spend equal time with my perents but my mom refuses to let me. She says he will have to take her back to court to get joint custody of me. What are the chances of getting joint custody of me and my dad want it and my mom doesn’t

    Hi In Joseph, I Will Be 13 In December, I Don’t Know Why I’m Writing This, I Hate Living With My Mom, We Never Agree,She carries the Confederate Flag, I Am 25 percent black my dad is black my mom is white My parents were never married I Don’t Get Along With White People, I feel more exepted at my dad’s, my dad takes more care of me, I have roaches at my mom’s I Live in a trailer at my mom’s, but I live in a nice house at my dad’s, I Am going to sit down and talk to my mom, my dad and stepmom are goin to talk 2 my mom about it this summer, but I don’t wanna wait that long,

    Hi my name is mkayla i live with my mama. My dad and his wife wants me to come live with them. My mama says i cant go. Do i have a choice in where i go; im 15 turning 16 soon?

    I’m 13 and i live with my dad . I want to live with my mom but my mom has a lot of financial problems and she lives with her mom in a place one wouldn’t call safe or healthy but i miss her very much i see her most weekends but that just isn’t enough . I love my dad and mom both and I don’t know how to tell my dad that i want to move in with my mom .

    I’m 16 and a lot of things been happening i don’t know if i should live with my mom and my stepdad who has always been there for me since i was born but as time went by the older i kept getting my stepdad would hit me like this month my ex boyfriend who is 25 years old yes i know he is way older than me ya ya ya ya okay the point is he gave me a phone so that he knew i was okay because he doesnt like my stepdad and he knows how he is too well one day i came home and my mom said i want hat phone i told her i dont have it i gave it back to my ex so then my stepdad comes and starts to smack me in the face he punched me in the stomach i fell to the floor and by him telling me get up he pulled me my the hair i found my real dad now im living with him but i dont know what i should do at this piont should i go back or should i stay with my dad or go on my own????

    I’m 16 and i live with my mum. However i have been going back and forth for 4 or 5 years between my mum and dad and before this i lived with my mum. My 18 year old brother died 6 months ago in a head-on collision and i came to live with my mum 4 months ago. but she won’t let me talk to her about how i feel but when she’s drunk she tells me my brother is her favourite and that she loved him the most. This makes me feel really down. I’m now stuck with what to do. I am able to move because ive finished secondary school and i am unable to go to college at the moment. But my dad says things will be ‘frosty’ for a while and that things will be different from last time i was there. I’ve said im going to live with him but now im not too sure on my choice. i don’t want things to be different just because i made a mistake but i also can’t live with my mum because everything has been building up where i cant talk to her and i have been lashing out-i kicked a hole in the wall and i took an overdose. im sure that living with my mum is not good for my mental health but i dont want to be treated differently at my dads. I have also been given the option to go into care. I’m not sure what to do? can anyone help

    My parents divorced when I was 8 months old and my mum remarried when I was 9 years old. My stepfather had stopped us from speaking to my father and would cut the phone everyone he phoned and I was too young to understand. I started speaking to my father agin for about two years but my mom always made problems and we often fight. I’m only 14 and it’s hard on me choosing where to stay without hurting anyone. I want to live with my Father but my mom wouldn’t allow it and my father is going to try but it’s really hard for me. My father is doing everything he can but I’m stuck in the middle

    I am 14 years old and I want to move with my dad in Arizona. I have lived with my mom since they split up when I was about 2. Now that I am getting older out relationship isn’t so good an all we do is argue and fight. If I was to ask her to take me to the court she would start an arguement out of it and I could possibly get in trouble. What do I do if I cannot get her to take me to the court house?

    I’m 10. My parents split up when I was 8 and I moved out when I was 9. It was fine for a few months. But then I realized after a lot of arguments no, I hate living with my Mum and her partner. I want to live with my dad but he works 5 days a week, 12 hours a day and I’m not old enough to stay 4 hours after school. I feel unhappy every single day at my mother’s house. She’s never with me. She’s either with her cat or her partner and I’m left on my own. I argue with her a lot but now I just can’t take it anymore. I love going to my dad’s house, it’s the highlight of my week. He understands me more than my mother. Plus, I don’t like my mother’s Christian rules. It feels like I have to choose between them… And I want to. I choose my dad. How could I see my dad more? I’ve tried to speak to him about it but he always forgets…

    Hi my name is David. I am 15 years old and my parents divorced when I was seven. The court say that I’m with my dad Sunday-Wednesday morning and with my mom Wednesday afternoon-Saturday. Lately I have been getting in trouble more and more with my stepmom. She is angry at my dad and basically everything else but takes it out on me. I am so done with her crap. I love my dad tho and want to see him but I hate my stepmom. She’s a terrible person and doesn’t deserve my dad. I want to move in with my mom so I don’t have to deal with her anymore. But if I do that then I am afraid that it will ruin my relationship with my dad. I don’t know what to do

    So, I’ve been stuck in a pretty difficult spot for the last nine years. It’s been a fight for me to keep doing the right thing with my guardian constantly yelling at me to do this and that 24/7. And when I have to do something he constantly degrades my overall wellbeing. I want to live with my father, and I’ve done my research, but I don’t know how to get everything started.
    What would be the first step in switching custody???

    I live with my dad and his mean wife (my stepmom) during the week and I see my mom on the weekend and on school breaks and the summer time the problem is I can’t stand my stepmom she has abused me and she has my dad wrapped around her finger and he’ll do anything she says but they always argue. My family is kinda complicated because first my mom and dad had me and then they had my little brother . Then they separated because my dad was cheating with this girl (now she’s my dumb stepmom). So then my mom found someone else and he already had a child that was older then me. And then they had my youngest brother . After that my dad and his wife had my little sister so I have a very complicated life. My dad and my step mom have more money then my mom and stepdad but I really want to live with my mom and also my step dad treats me with respect and cares about me . My dad doesn’t pay attention to me . He is either on the phone, out with his friends or doing stuff with his wife and I’m real live tired of it and my dad is very disrespectful towards his mom (my nana) and my step mom is the same way with her mom. And my mom doesn’t really talk to her mom at all and my step dad’s mom passed away 2 year ago. So the only grandma I have is my nana cuz I still talk to her through my mom. she buys me stuff and she treats me like her own daughter because I’m the closest thing she has to a daughter being as though she had 4 boys and no girls . But I think the reason I act out is because I want attention from my parents and tbh I think the best person for me to live with my nana f I rally had the choice . So I guess what I’m really trying to say is since my parents weren’t married when they had me almost 14 years ago it would cost a lot of money for my mom to get custody of me , so I would rather live with my nana (grandma) and I think I would do so much better 😊😦. Because I CAN STAND IT IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!😨😨 . And I really want to run away but I don’t have the guts to do it. What should I do?? And also its really hard to do the right thing when your “parents ” are always doing bad things and sneak dissing and yelling at you to be perfect and you are scared to come home because you think you haven’t satisfied them the way they want you to. Please tell me how to get where I want to be I’m about to be 14 in December ! ! And I’ve lived with my dad since I was 4. Four!!!!!!!

    I can relate to that a lot. My Dad will do anything for his wifey. AKA, my step mom. She loves kids who are like 5 and 4 because she never had kids but every time I go around my dad she will get so close to him. I can never have a conversation with him without her being right there judging. The thing is though is that my dad makes more money than my mom does. And she cant afford a lawyer. My nanna also asked me to live with her because shes a millionaire but she lives in Amish county and I am afraid i would never see my siblings.

    My moms been abusing and yelling and locking me out my house. I really think she’s not the right person for me… I think it would be better if I lived with my friends mom and dad can someone please help me

    My mom had custody of me since I was three then when I was around 12 my sister turned 18 and moved out of the house and guess what my dad did not have to pay child support for her then all of the sudden he hired a lawyer and got custody of me. My dad is the definition of an ass hole. He makes me feel like crap all the time. You have no idea. I am afraid to rise against him because I am afraid of what he will do. I love my mom so much. all my little siblings live there. I want to live with her but my dad will put up a fight. He is so mean. His wife treats me like a worthless piece of crap too. Please help! I want to live with my mom. she only lives 15 minuets down the road. Can I choose who Ii want to live with?

    hey ,
    my name is amber .
    I am 15 years old and I am in highschool . My mother and father divorced whenever I was very young . I don’t remember them being together at all , I was probably 3 whenever it happend . Through out my life my mothers had custody of me . I was put through the most , the people that hung around were on heavy drugs . Meth etc .. So was my stepfather . He was ALWAYYS abusive and hated us . My mom also was . I would lock myself in my room as you do as I was and cry myself to sleep . The people whom were on drugs were all very crazy . Near the age 11 all of those people decided to cut the cameras to our house and broke into our house . They stole all of our belongings including pictures of me . They shattered all of the windows and busted holes in all of the walls . Those “people” later seen my grandfather , held a gun to his head and threatened to kill him . I was left home alone one day and one of the huge guys were screaming at the top of thier lungs and beating on my window I later lifted up the boards and his under my bed where he for sure wouldn’t find me I called my mom ASAP and she called the police . My mother moved a state away without my fathers permission . I was very upset . And as I reached my middle school years I went through heavy depression . I used to cut , I tried to kill myself a couple times .. And then recently moving TWO states away from my father again WITHOUT his permission i reached high school .. Things are okay but my mom and stepdad have been acting very off lately they bruised my arms one day and I had to wear a hoodie to school until it went away . I’ve always wanted to live with my father . He may not have the most money but he’s always been there for me .. He understands and listens to me . Something my mother never would do . I love my mom , but it’s just not where I want to be .. I struggle with school and she goes crazy on me when I get bad grades I really try my best to keep my grades up for her but it’s so hard .. It’s begging to bring my depression back . She makes me feel as if I am not good enough . Recently she told me that I was a mistake and she wish she hadnt had me . My dad doesn’t have a lot but he always makes me feel better , he listens . He understands and he actually let’s me live my life .. My mother keeps me locked in the house I’m never allowed to do anything therefore it’s very hard to maintain relationships and friendships. It’s been about 5 years since I lived in the same state as my dad . I rarely get to see him , ever . I seen my father about 7 months ago for a VERY short period of time . I don’t know what to do , I just want to be with someone who actually will care and listen to me .. How could I be able to live with my Amazing father ?

    My moms very abusive I’ve lost all of my family so I can’t get away . My dad just got out of prison for murdering my aunt. and 99% of the time my mothers hitting me , she’s on drugs and doesn’t even care about me I’m not allowed to do anything and I live in millbrook Alabama with my younger brother in apartments . Is there anyway I could move in with my bestfriend ? She’s always been like a sister to me and her mom and her family are like family to me I used to live with them when I was younger . I’m 15 now I go to no hope . Just please let me know if I can love with my bestfriend and my basically adopted family and adopted parents . My moms been doing okay lately I just really need to know please .. Thank you

    hey im angel and im turning 15 in January. I live with my mom and her and I really don’t have the greatest relationship. and it sucks, it really sucks. but I cant do this anymore. she blames me for EVERYTHING. I was a mistake and I really want to move in with my dad but I don’t think she’ll let me. but at the same time my mom and dad have never been married and I want to live with him because I think that’s what I think will be best for me. but I love both so much how do I tell my mom?? HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m 11 and my mom yells at me everyday she told me thaat she wants me to ive with my grandmother and that she loves my 8 year brother more than me and she abuses me. I dont’t want to live with my grandmother because she lives 5hours away by plane and I don’t want to live wit my dad because I feel like he doesn’t want me because he told my mom the only way that he will come back to help her with my brother and I is if she pays him. I just want to live at one of my friends house my mom also makes me have anxiety. I just can’t stay with either of my parents and i can’t live that far away from my friends help[

    Hi I’m Kira I’m 13 years old and I live with my dad and I want to live with my mom my dad yells way to much and he is so angry at the world all the time he takes it out on me and its not fair plus I’m a girl he does not understand my problems or what I’m going through but my mom does my mom has a lung disease and I want to be there for her as long as I can and when I’m with my dad I’m not happy and when I’m with my mom I’m really happy I know my mom does not have slot of money but she can take care of me and I really want her to be there when I wake up I wish I could live with my mom can u please tell me what to do and if I can thanx

    Hi, I’m Cheyenne and I’m 12. My parents are basically going through this phase right now, and I really want to live with my dad because he treats me better. However, I don’t really know what to say to my mom or if I can even choose who to live with right now. Is there anyone who can give advice on both of those?

    im 13 and i don’t know how to handle the pressure from my dad wanting me to come live with him my mom and i don’t get along very well but my dad and i don’t get along either so i don’t know what i should do i have lived with my mom for ever and i have a lot of friends and i don’t want to leave cause i would miss them and my mom really bad i feel like would cry every day if i left and went with my dad ! PLZ HELP ME AND GIVE ME A GOOD ANSEWER !!

    Hi, my name is Leo, I am 12, and cannot live with my Dad anymore. My parents divorced when i was about 6 months old, and they got joint custody. I know my dad has more money then my mother and is more reliable, but he i a manipulative, egocentric, controlling douche-bag. he is kind of why i have severe depression. i know its my feelings and i cant control them and all and i am in no way at all blaming my dad 100% for me being a fuck-up but he thinks we have to oblige his every wishes, be able to put down everything for him, he thinks (and makes me believe) that everything is my fault, he compares me to my happy 5 yr old brother (even though i can say for a fact i was happy and easy going when i was his age too), he will act nice and stuff right after he says something really REALLY offensive or rude and expects me to go along like there is nothing wrong, etc. etc. etc. he dates younger girls each time, acting like the best guy in the world, knowing they would think that hes an older guy whose a fighter but “sensitive” and also a massage therapist is like perfect, he gets engaged to them withing the first month and married within 2 we move in with each other and he puts everything under his name and as soon as this is over he starts acting like himself knowing the poor lady cant leave. i feel so bad for them this is a regular thing though hes had at least 30 girlfriends within the past couple of years, was engaged to at least half of them and married 6 of them. whenever i try to do something and he acts rudely he says its because he has “autism” which isn’t correct because ive made him get tested, his mother who is a special ed teacher says he isn’t, and if you’re autistic you don’t want to date that many people . he guilt trips me and my mother. i tried staying with my mom and seeing dad only every morning and on Sundays from 9am to 4 pm but on Thursday he took me back and made me pack my stuff and we moved somewhere idek where. at my moms house everybody is much more chill and sure we may not be rich but at least were not psychotic. sorry this was so long but is there anyway i could leave and be with my mom 100% of the time?

    What should i do my mom is so far from me who will i choese my dad or my mom? If i live with my dad i will have a new mom and i dont want that! And if i luve with my mom i will live in hindi and i will never see my dad forever. So ehat ahould i do pleaseee help me!!!

    I live with my dad and I am 13 yes old, I don’t like living with my dad bcuz he’s never home which means I’m stuck with my step mom who if she doesn’t get her way she cops an attitude and calls me lazy, and as much as I try to understand her that’s the more she has something to say like I called her a bitch in 2010 and she still brings it up to replace her mistake, and whenever I tell my dad I wanna live with my mom he says I don’t know and he hardly talks anymore, I have so much fun at my moms, I feel like I can make my own decisions and b free at my dads I cant. What do I do?

    My mom lost custody of me bcuz one small incident took place and my dad went ahead and took custody but that was along time ago and I’m 13 now and my mom has changed, also when u have a step mom who tells u Santa clause ain’t real when I’m 10

    my name is cara, my mum and dad split up a couple of months ago but they still fight and right now my head is messed up and i cant deal with it anymore. Me and my brother and sister live with my mum so mt dad has no-one and i am the oldest and im 12 then my sister is 6 and my brother is 2 .i really want to live with my dad because me and my mum dont get along and i know if i live with my daddy i would more happier and so would my dad x.

    I am 13 years old , my parents started there divorce in 2012 and I’ve been living 50/50 for the past 3 years and a lot of stuff has been happening with my mom and her health and no matter how hard I try to convince my dad for me to be with my mom on different days, he won’t . Even if I make a compromise he won’t and All he does I treat me like a child ! I am 13 I can decide where I wanna live but no not according to him . My sister which is 16 hates him so much she refuses to see him or even say she has a father. My mom doesnt have a lot of money especially now since my dad won’t pay child support but that doesn’t change the fact that I love them both and deep down I act like I love my dad to him but I really don’t love him a lot I love my mom and that’s who I want to be with . But I can not take this drama with court anymore !

    That’s the same with me man. The same. No joke my dad is an ass. My mom is the best. My mom doesn’t have a lot of money. And I just need a way to my moms custody. So I’m going to talk to a judge in about a week

    Hi I’m 15 years old and live with my mom and stepdad but I want to live with my dad. He has yo travel a lot for work and believes that because of that he can’t have primary custody of me is this true?

    My parent’s got divorced when I was about 6, and I just turned 12 yesterday. My mom has custody of me. I LOVE it at my mom’s house for the most part. My step-dad treats me and my older sister like his own kids, and my mom is the best mom I could ever ask for. But at my “dad’s” (notice the air-quotes), his wife is horrible, her kids are a bunch of b-words and he works all the time, so we have to sit with the 9 year old boy and watch Transformers and Simpsons. But the worst part is the way he and my stupid step-mom got married. He met her when I was about 5, and they dated for about 2 months, then broke up for 3. They would get back together, then break up again. This cycle repeated for about 6 years. No joke. Then one night, we got a call from him. The next day, we had to go see him. His forst words other than “hello” were
    “So I did some thinking last night, and decided that MAYBE I should tell my daughters that I’m getting married tomorrow! Funny, huh?”
    Yeah. Haha. We had no choice at all, so I had to go watch my “dad” marry a woman I (and my sister) HATE. And he knows we hate her.
    HELP ME!

    Idk dude just idk , I’m sorry I really don’t know , look we all don’t want are parents and to get a divorce , and my mom wants to divorce my dad , and I even told my Bff (she’s my zombie apocalypse partner btw) that if I go to her house with a black body bag , (yes I have one lol) I either killed someone or my parents go a divorce , and I’m scared I want to run a way but I’ll leave so much be hind , so I now what u feel and trust me.

    Your not the only one that feels this way.

    Your not the only one who knows what your going through.

    Your not the only on in this world.

    I’m 13 and my parents got in a devorice when I was two. Recently my step dad died in a tragic car accident witch left my mom on her knees. The day after this happened my dad decided it would be good to file custody papers for court on my mom. After my dad got custody of me in that battle I told him I didn’t want to live with him(witch Ive said before it all happened) but he refused to let me live with my mom. So now I’m stuck here with him and I don’t know what to do! Please help!


    I live with my dad but he is making my life crap. I’m 16 years old, he took my car away because i stayed after work late one day. On top of that i am no longer allowed on any electronic outside of school. My dad has 100% custody of me but i want to live with my mom. I have also been called a “dumb***” by him and honestly to hear him say that really hurts. So far i don’t know if i can do anything but maby someone can at least give me some advice..

    Thank You

    Hi, my name is Christian and I’ve been living with my grandparents since a young age, yet now all we do is fight and my grandfather is currently battling cancer as well making living with them even more stressful and difficult. I’d like to move in with my father but my grandparents and mother don’t want me to. This hasn’t changed my mind though, he and my mother had bad problems when I was very young but now neither have the same amount of problem and they aren’t as serious. My mother has two other kids, my two sisters, making her very busy. She wants me to move in but that house is chaos and my stepfather is useless, he just sits around or isn’t home, we also fight a lot. My father drinks and smokes but smokes outside only and drinks very lightly, not enough to get even tipsy off of. Any suggestions on what I should do to try and move in? My father does want me to move in as well. I’m thirteen, my father lives in Michigan and I live in Ohio. Thanks. And even with the thought of friends, living with my father would still be better for me.

    Hi I’m Ian. And bothered my parents have custody (btw I’m 14) but I hate my dad. He lies to me and is a very big ass. He’s not nice and gets drunk 6 out of 7 days a week. And my mom says that I have to speak to a judge and I will if I must but I was wondering if there are any other ways of staying with my mom full time

    Hi i’m in a situation where my parents divorced and my dad has custody of me and my brother. so i live with my dad but i want to live with my mom so badly. Im happier with my mom and she takes better care of me emotionally and physically. What can i do?? my mom and i both want me to be with my mom and my dad doesnt want me too and i dont know what to do.

    If your mom or dad is nice to you and has a normal stable life, and the other parent will not let you see them there can be several reasons
    1. The parent that currently has custody does not want to lose money they get from the other parent for you being in their house (which is really your money and they should not be spending it on bills not related to you)
    2. The parent is using you as a friend or for support, which as a kid it is not your job
    3. The parent is punishing the other parent and wants you to ignore or not see the parent to hurt them
    4. The parent is controlling and needs to have life on their terms
    5. The parent needs you to heal them because they are not healthy on their own, which is not OK

    All of these things are child abuse. They are not OK. As a child, you are free and it is right that you access both of your parents as much as you want. You should not feel bad living with either or both up to 50/50 in any way that allows you to also go to school. Parents who are not OK with that are using you as a pawn and that is not OK.

    It is not your job to heal your parents or worry about their feelings. They are adults, it is their job to worry about you. People who tell you “that will hurt their feelings if you speak up” are giving you adult responsbility over your parent and that is inappropriate. As a kid, you should be protected by adults around you and adults around you should not lean on you for emotional support. EVER.

    If you are afraid to put yourself first because your parent “needs” your child support, or your love, or your support, it is the right time to take a break from that person. You are not a paycheck, a counselor or a parent. You are a kid who deserves a childhood and that means access to both of your parents and a childhood free of responsbility from adults’ feelings.

    My name is Jake. I’m 13 and my birth parents share custody over me. My parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten and I’m in eighth grade now. We moved about 1 hour away from where we used to live so I rarely get to keep in touch with any of my old friends. I want to tell my dad that he treats me like a piece of trash. He always yells at me or gets mad every time I see him. In public and at home he will grab my neck really hard right on the pressure point so I scream to get him off. He tells my 16 year old brother that it is ok to do this to me too so I always have bruises. My father says no calling or texting my mom or friends after 8:00 even if it’s for hw help. He is trying to make me see all the bad in her but all I see is the bad in him. Even my step-mom that lives with my dad is a witch to me. She always favors everyone else and doesn’t treat me as her son at all. My mom is super nice to me and cares for me.

    Hi I’m Jim and my mum and dad has split up and I don’t know what to do with my life I would like to live with my dad I am 12 my dad is trying to get me and he is going to take my mum to court and I don’t know what to do with my life some times I say I’m going to kill my self but I know it’s going to brake my dads heart I need advise i got a phone of my dad and I bring it home my mum take it and would not give it bake I don’t know what t do CAN YOU HELP

    Hi im Ella im 13, and no my parents dont abuse me but they are devorced and i feel that me and my mom dont get along ever she is always yelling and i am always yelling but when i am at my dads house he sometimes makes me cry when he screams and i tell hime that he screames alot but he dosent listen to what i have to say and when erer i try to tell him something he ignores me, i dont like my dads house because at night he is always on the phone with some ladie that he is friends with and they talk legit every night and my room is kinda by his but he still talks really louad, and i cant sleep that good and matter the fact i still share a room with my little 10 year old brother who never gets yelled at and he coppies me on everything but i am always to blame. I also dhare a room at my moms which is far from my school and really imbarrising… i dont know what to do because i always get into fight with the both of them and sometimes i just want to live with my dad because i feel like he is less mean and he is still strict but he still lets me hangout with my friends when i ask. But my mom tells me that i cant hangout with my friends all the time but my friends make me happy unlike my parents who are really naggie and the ovi dont know this because they dont always listen to what i say.

    im will im 16 I live in Illinois ive lived with my mother my whole life recently my father got custody of me, not im having homicidal and suicidal thoughts I need my mother back in my life my father doesn’t allow me to do anything or go anywhere ive been here for months and hes treating me like dirt mentally abusing me and I cannot take it anymore

    I’m 13 so most 14 in q couple month s and I want to move to my dad’s because my moms is stressful she is an alcoholic and smokes pot and cigars even when my 1 year nephew is n the car and she doesn’t even have her license she is always mean so is her boyfriend they have been together for a few years and I just hate him he yells all the time I’ve tried suicide ten or more times because of them and be ran away a couple times to. At my dads he cares about me and gets me things and stuff like that and is supportive my mom doesn’t care about me she told why didn’t I kill when I had the chance and I just want to move to my dads but sue said that I couldn’t over her dead body so she can treat me like her maid and everything so I was just wondering how long would the process be because I know I can I just don’t know when or yow I can because I’ve talked to my dad about it to and he said he would fight for me

    For the past few months I have wanted to move in full time to my dad’s house. I’m even writing an argumentative paper on it. My mom and I just don’t get along, we’re to different. We don’t connect at all. Now that we adopted my cousins and her wanting to have another kid it’s hard. She is so bitchy lately, actually that’s what she called me today was bitchy. The other day it was asshole and bitch. She doesn’t get that I have no friends here, especially since we just moved here 2 years ago, at my dad’s I have all of my school friends and neighbors. When I met her at 3 years old she seemed nice, I finally had a mom! So that’s when I moved in, bad decision. It all started two years ago when she wouldn’t let me hang out with friends from school who I haven’t talked to for a long time just because she “wanted to see me” She found out I hated her and told me we needed to go to counseling, that still hasn’t happened. Now I barely ever see her because she is doing stuff with my cousins. Sure I see how hard they had it a drug abuser for a mom and dad was hard. But she forgets about me and how hard I have it. I see my step-dad more than her and he owns three businesses. I just want to live with a parent who actually gives a shit about me and what I want to do instead of holding me back. That’s my dad. But I don’t know how to tell her and to be honest I am still deciding because she provides me with nice things and I guess she can be nice sometimes. But other than that she is a bitch, well she is coming up the stairs so I have to go. Please reply and help me decide and get through this.

    I won’t tell my name, but I’m a girl and I’ve lived with my dad for 5 years now. My parents were never married. They split when I was really young maybe about 3. I’ve lived with my mom all my life until I was about 8 or 9. I’m now 14 and I hate living with my dad. We’ve been close, but his wife always seems to have a problem with me. When I moved in with my dad, my mom had an abusive boyfriend and smoked and drank. Now she Got married (To a Different guy) and she quit smoking and only has wine maybe here and there. I’m really unhappy and she knows that, she says shes trying to do something about it. Both my parents live in the same city. I don’t like living with my dad because I’m homeschooled and I don’t have any friends, and the rest of my sisters go to regular school. My dad says hes trying to get me back in regular school, but That’s not what I want. I want to live with my mom. Is there a way I can put matters into my own hands? PLEASE HELP!

    Im Ziona im 12 i live with my dad by but i want to live with my mms om. Mom lives in Atlanta,GA but My dad lives in Dothan,AL. I never get to see my sisters and my mom and awesome stepdad. I love t hem but the longest time i went without seeing my mom is 8 months!

    I’m 13 years old, and I live with my mom and stepdad. My stepdad has caused me to think about self harming. He puts me down all the time, and yells so much, and he tells me I’m dumb. I don’t want to live with them anymore. And I’m pretty sure I could go to live with my dad, but I don’t know if the judge will say yes to those reasons. I have a great stable friend, that I could live with. Would the judge consider that or no?

    I’m sorry I don’t have an answer, but I have the same problem. I am twelve and I live with my mom. My mom and boyfriend put me down, yell at me and sometimes hurt me. I see my dad every other weekend and I can never seem to have enough with him. I hope that once the divorce is settled I stay with my dad. It’ll be ok right?

    Zach make sure that the judge knows about your preference. And aslo try and record some of the times when your mom and her boyfriend yell at you and put you down.

    hi Zoey. the judge will consider how your step fatehr is treating you. Do you have a mobile phone? Try to record some time when he yells at you and tells you bad things, then they can’t telle the judge that you are making it up. I don’t think the judge will consider a friend though.

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