Can You Stop Paying Support Before The Modification Is Final?


I have had temporary primary custody of my child as my ex-wife and I agreed to move him into my town in another state with a better school district.

My ex-wife intends to move to my town at which point we would return to our shared custody agreement. The problem is her move keeps being delayed so I stopped paying her child support since the child lives exclusively with me during this interim period.

Can my ex-wife ask the courts to force me to continue to pay child support even though she is the non-custodial parent at this point? If I file a request to modify child support and child custody to reflect our current situation, which state has jurisdiction?


I am unable to give you legal advice on divorce. I can give general divorce help for men, though, my knowledge is based on New Jersey divorce laws where I am licensed to practice.

I would strongly encourage you to formalize the change in custody by filing a motion with the court. Since you have stopped paying child support, arrears will continue to accrue until a motion is filed with the court seeking a change in custody and termination of your child support obligation.

Since you are currently living in one state but the marital settlement agreement was filed in another, in order for your current state to have jurisdiction, you must first register the agreement or order establishing child custody and support with your state’s courts.

Once the order has been registered it will be fully enforceable in your state. You will then be able to file a motion to modify custody and terminate child support in your jurisdiction.

Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than divorce tips for men, so please consult with a divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Christine A. Dolan, contact Cordell & Cordell.

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One comment on “Can You Stop Paying Support Before The Modification Is Final?

    My wife ran off to a shelter with our daughter after celebrating our 14th anniversary and our daughters birthday
    After celebrating 14 years of marriage and our daughters 12 year old birthday my wife ran off to some shelter in Nashville,it went from getting strait and seeing a counselor for us for arguing to she keeps repeating when I broke her ribs now but she told me and the people at the gym she was going to she hurt herself there, I know I have made mistakes but can admit learn and go on she denies what me and others witnessed like burning the hands of my son from another wife and beating him I teied to take all the blame for her but they sent him to live with his aunt on his moms side she said I did not want you arrested when they asked me and now the 3rd time I spoke to her she said it makes her sick to think about me and re peating that time when I broke her ribs, I wish I would have nevr took the blame for her to our daughter who I have not seen she took off with the car with my disability tags and my oldest sons radar detector and from her friends on the internet she was talking to other men after having our daughter believe they was coming home soon now she is turning her against me I talked to her today when she said these hateful things I told her I didn’t want to fight just talk and tell her i love them I got to talk to my daughter about three minutes we are in debtors court together the car included but I had to get my bank account changed because she stole the rent money out of it now I have to pay it twice with the help of my son and his wife they have witnessed these things I feel it’s my fault because my first and second wife went to one but the first is with a child molestor,the second is still on drugs and he acually stays with his grandmother but this time is different they muniplulated the resources of the shelters and the second one had me put in jail so many times even when I was miles away, I refuse to keep letting my children go through this but just like her siter said who camse by to get her stuff out of the blue today she knows shes lying but it is her only sister and she will do anything to help her I am disabled I live in alot of pain and have stage four liver disease of chirrossis I only get disability and now her story has changed so much because she knew how the other two spouses used the system and her sister said that she told her she has not been working or paying debtors court and was gonna lose the car and not even tell me we agreed that since they wanted to only take it out of her check because mine is disability but I refuse to take the blame anymore she has hit me when I asked her about that she said I slapped you just slapped you off of me and have my daughter who is scared and wants to come home but feels she has to say what mama wants we have been living here in TN. for a little over a year now where her family is but where I live is stable for my daughter and a three bedroom house because my oldest son and his wife live with me she always told him he was her own son to her and he even called her mama but after being molested like his oldest sister it kind of destroyed him after what she done and how she has lied and trying to turn his baby sister against him beacause his sister by his bith mom run away at 17 because of what happened to her being molested and we haven’t herd from her she is 22 now thts why I can’t let this happen anymore eventhough I told my baby girl I was the one with a problem and I also told her I would never make her choose but this time I might have to break that if there be any justice left in this world or I can be spoken for by someone in anyway then I ask for help for her to be with the family she has been raised with she don’t deserve none of this I done my wrongs and learned to apply my lessons this time I need to apply this one some how because I have seen the outcome of my children and what they went through even tried to kill there self before and we get everything strait and after celebrating 14 years of marriage with nothing like this happening and our daughters birthday leave on the 6th of this month my daughter deserves better and stability even if she has to know I have been making it look like it was always my fault,thank you and God bless either way.

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