“What can I do to get more parenting time with my kids?”
That might be the single most frequently asked question by divorced fathers. Child custody modification proceedings can be an emotionally draining and drawn out task.
However, before you even retain an attorney, there are steps you can take to give yourself the best chance at obtaining additional parenting time with your children.
1. Document everything. This is one of the most important things you can do to build your case.
Is your ex-wife attempting to alienate you out of your kids’ lives? Keep a detailed log of every instance of bad behavior. You need to be extremely specific. List the time, date, place and every key detail you can think of to show how your wife acted.
This will give your attorney a compelling piece of evidence to show the court once your case begins.
2. Don’t engage with your ex. There is a good chance your relationship with your former spouse has soured beyond the point of no return. In that case, it is probably best to limit the amount of communication you have with her.
It can be frustrating when you know she is treating you unfairly, but she might be trying to provoke you into acting emotionally. Don’t take her bait. And again, document every instance of poor behavior.
Try your best to remain respectful. If it helps, avoid direct communication by sorting out issues over the phone or by email. Whatever you do, don’t get into an argument in front of your kids.
3. Don’t insult your ex in front of your kids. You need to take the high road as much as possible. Even if she is insulting you in front of your children, turn the other cheek (and add each reported insult to your log).
4. Continue being the best parent you can be. Once your custody modification proceeding begins, the judge is going to want to see how involved the dad is in the kids’ lives.
Make sure you exercise all your visitation or parenting time. If you are granted email or phone privileges while they’re in their mother’s care, utilize that, too.
Get to know their teachers and know how they’re doing in school. Be reliable in attending their school functions.
The important thing is that you show how deeply you care about them. That is going to be important regardless of how the custody modification turns out.
None of these steps guarantee that you’ll be given more parenting time. But they can go a long way toward helping you build as strong a case as possible.
Once you feel you have a solid case built, you need to contact an attorney
to help you convince the court to modify your parenting time.
I am currently watching my husband go thru a battle with his ex. She is trying to obtain full or at least more that 50/50 custody of their 14 year old daughter. She has consistently alienated her since I have been in their lives. My husband says she has always done this, even when they were still married. The parenting agreement has been set in stone for 8.5 years. They also have a son but he loves his dad and isn’t a pawn in his mother’s game so he hasn’t missed a minute with us. It is so sad. My stepdaughter hasn’t been home in 10 weeks. Her mother is in contempt and claims to be encouraging a relationship but we know how she isn’t. She bad mouths him and me in front of the children and has for years. She puts us down to the children because we make much less money than them. Their stepfather went off the handle bars at my husband last week in front of the children, including the two my husband and I have together. He put him down and commented how we can have fun in court with all our money. This has taken such a toll on my poor husband. She was daddy’s little girl and through the years her mother has just pulled and pulled her away from him. Our two children are sad because they miss their sister too. Not to mention my stepson who has to go back and forth between the two homes. We don’t talk about it in front of him but he occasionally brings up what he hears at her house. Has anyone else ever went through this? What a horrible nightmare!