I have been paying child support arrears for what seems like forever.
My child is now a grown adult with a family of his own yet I am still trying to pay off child support!
Why do I have to keep paying if the money is no longer going to support my child?
How to get child support arrears dismissed
Child support arrears can build up quickly and take months or years to eliminate.
Child support debt does not disappear when the original support obligation terminates. So even though your son is an adult with his own family to support, you still owe money for the support you were obligated to pay when your son was a minor child.
You should not, however, be paying for any new support obligations at this point, so make sure that the support you are paying is only for the back support you owe from years past.
If you are paying for arrears accrued while your son was a minor, you will have to continue to pay those support arrearage payments until the debt is paid off. When you are in arrears on support, the state may take a number of steps to force you to pay what you pay, including garnishing your wages and applying your tax refund to your arrearage.
The court can also charge interest on the child support debt you owe. The support you pay continues to go to the person you owed the payments to, presumably the mother of your son. You may not file bankruptcy on your child support arrearages, and the support arrearage will not go away until it is paid in full.
The best way to determine how to eliminate your arrearage is to first check with the Child Support office to determine how much you still owe and ensure that this is the correct amount (calculation errors can be made by the state).
If the amount owed is incorrect from some reason, such as you were held liable for support after your child was declared emancipated by the court or you were held liable for support in an amount different from the court-ordered amount, you may petition the court to fix your child support obligation.
If the amount you owe is correct, then you are obligated to pay that amount in full eventually. You may be able to contact the child support division of the prosecutor’s office to discuss settling on your arrearage as well.
Modifying a child support order is so confusing that many guys decided to not even bother with it. This can spell financial disaster. If you are concerned about the amount of child support you owe, it is a good idea to get in touch with a divorce lawyer for men so they can help you figure out your options. A lot of men are hesitant to hire an attorney because it is yet another expense, but failing to do so can leave you left with child support payments you can’t afford, so it is best to consider it an investment that will pay off in the long run.
If you need help figuring out how to get child support arrears paid, contact one of the divorce attorneys of Cordell & Cordell.
Leslie Lorenzano is a Staff Attorney in the Indianapolis, Indiana office of Cordell & Cordell where she practices domestic relations exclusively. Ms. Lorenzano is licensed in the state of Indiana and the U.S. District Court Sothern District of Indiana. Ms. Lorenzano received her Bachelor of Arts in Sociology from Purdue University, and her Juris Doctor from the University of Arizona – James E. Rogers College of Law.
447 comments on “I’m still paying off child support arrears for my adult child. When will it stop?”
I am the mom – my ex took me to court (when I was unemployed and had no resources for attorneys) to change the custody & support arrangement in his favor. I was naive, uninformed, and ignorant, so I understand that I’m obligated to the arrears I’m now paying off. Here’s what I don’t understand… why am I paying interest to the state?!?! They did not finance a loan, make support payments on my behalf, or otherwise extend credit. At most, I can understand intermediary or administrative fees such as those paid to a bank (mine charges $12/mo for basic checking), but my $500/mo payments barely cover interest that continues to accrue on my arrears (currently at $58,000 – $30,000 of which is owed to the great state of Arizona). At the current rates, I will be paying child support until my children are 34 and 35 years old. I will be 54 by then. (They are currently 23 and 24.)
How much interest are you paying the state? And how much interest are you paying the father on arrears? The state charges interest bc they are the (attorneys) that stood in and represented either or both parties. They still have to pay court cost which is the Judges pay for each day you all went to court, the state had to pay for each pre-judgement, judgement, contempt, etc to be filed through the clerk of courts office, paid ro have it notorized, & paid to have it served to one or both parties. You are most probably also paying interest to the father also. Why is it the state did not represent you inorder for you to keep custody of your children?
Child support is a government scam.
Even if the Mother/Father does not want to receive child support, the state forces the parent to do so.
It is a little known fact that for every child support case that is filed in your particular state, that said state gets a kickback to its Child Support Recovery office’s (They did under the Clinton/O-buma dictatorships) even if the case is denied/dismissed by the courts!
My X and i separated on very good terms and he does give me cash, clothes ect, on a regular basis. It isn’t a whole lot but he works hard and gives what he legitimately can. I wasn’t working at that time so i did apply for help for the basics. CSRU immediately wanted me to force child support on him!
I said no way!, he’s an awesome Dad and faithfully hands me cash on a weekly basis. They didn’t care!, the caseworker told me to file for child support “so he doesn’t get a free ride”…
WTF does that even mean?
Long story short i told that nasty B to get an honorable job, then i walked out.
With my X’s weekly cash flow and hard work i made it! Statics show 85% of women that file for child support are doing it out of spite not necessity!
SHAME ON YOU!
Good for you and your ex. I didn’t want child support. I work and survived. Your right about the other women being vindictive.
That’s bull right there
There are many mothers working to support their children and the father is a deadbeat
All children are entitled to support from both parents, so you saying it’s vindictive or they should be ashamed is downright nasty. Just because your children’s father gave you some money does not mean all do!!!
Men or women who aren’t involved in your child or childrens life that is the price you pay for your freedom. The custodial parent has to do the hard part of raising them, parent teachers conferences, homework, finding sitters, extra curricular activities, food, shelter, expensive clothes, gas transporting them everywhere, field trips, phones, mood changes and not to mention emotions because they aren’t there…It’s not easy at all!! But they go off and start other families and expect to be off the hook for THEIR KIDS prior to this one…REALLY!! NO, pay your debt. It’s well deserved to the one who was there all the while. I know because I been there and did a damn good job! I want my money and don’t care how long it takes to pay it back. Should have done the right thing in the first place. PERIOD!!
Sounds like a bad situation for you. My story is opposite yours. I’m the “deadbeat” dad. Owed 90k…20 left in arrears. People never see the 70k paid only the 20k “wow” in arrears….I must be a loser! No new family here, no money, no apartment…moved in with parents for years. Gave my son everything I could (to her) and of course still having to pay for all of the things I could during his time with me. I was broke and was still threatened by an ex with your attitude as if I had no rights and a system that shut me out as being naive young and stupid and a government that didnt care. I had my license suspended more than once.
I was bouncing around low paying jobs paying every extra cent to keep her allowing me to see him and csea off my back…and all the while my ex was moving up the ladder buying a house remarrying and moved my son away. She was making three times the money that she made when he was born. i was making half the money I originally quoted. I was threatened that if I fought the support amount , I wouldnt see him…I was scared… on my appeal years later, I was all but threatened in the hearing (that I requested).
Now, I am 52, have a great relationship with my son. Still looked at as the bad guy and still scrounging to make ends meet…because 18 years of that treatment scars a man. I did everything I could (besides paying her downpayment on her home and affording their vacations)….I loved him with all my heart and still do (of course) and I paid everything I could.
There are sad storys for fathers out there too. So Im sorry, but the amount I paid, the abuse i took and the sacrifices I accepted happens because some fathers are loving parents and the system is indeed flawed.
Point is that the system is messed up and it can be for either parent…but the system doesnt easily account for my type of conditions for the father. It MORE easily sees the sufferings of the mother and is designed to accommodate those pains without the mother having to struggle in order to pursue reparations
You sound bitter and spiteful. Good luck with that…
I have a former sister in law that used child support money to sit on her ass and not work. Gave up her apartment and has lived with multiple siblings. She bought designer hand bags and shoes on child support $$$. Not all men are dead beat dad’s, just like every custodial parent isn’t always providing, working and doing right by their children. This woman is a lousy mother who has not provided a stable home for my nephews. On another note, all of her siblings who have helped out a roof over her head has licked her out. My eldest nephew is staying with his father and my other is living with an uncle so he’s able to stay in the same school. Meantime their mother has applied for welfare benefits because are simply can’t work for less then 50k a year.
I believe if a woman cannot afford to
provide for the child without child support and the man can the man should get custody.
Yep it’s true the states receive federal funding (kickbacks) for meeting child support collection quotas. That’s why arrearages are never forgiven or even negotiated per state and federal laws and guidelines, the states need those collection accounts to last “forever” to increase their overall numbers and continue to receive federal funding. For example, I have a court ordered payment arrangement for arrears and they still garnish my wages, tax refund etc see, the feds do NOT want to pay ANY welfare type of assistance to anyone so they mandate each state to provide it via child support collections – transferring money from one household to another. Child support and arrears are easily and quickly started but extremely difficult to stop.. even if both parties agree! The system is designed to benefit itself only- my two kids live with me and child support and arrears won’t stop they say I need to hire an attorney etc (pump more $$ into the broken family court system) the child support case worker explained its very difficult and long process to STOP collection process it is designed to COLLECT
You need to shut up! You also need to get educated on the law!!! I have two college degrees and now and am in the process of putting a new BILL together that willNEVER allow any mother or father to forego child support ….
If your X is so called father of the year… then he would have been fine with having his wages attached to pay you! Wake up…
thanks to another thoughtful attorney’s income?
Yep!! I agree
No. He shouldn’t be happy to be attached to a system that threatens jail time. Sometimes people lose jobs and can’t find one quickly the state won’t be understanding to that. They can throw you in jail for half a year effectively ruining your life as you slowly lose everything. You are an idiot and your bill won’t pass. Wake up.
You have no idea what you are talking about. Go talk to the walls instead.
the kid doesn’t stop getting hungry when you lose your job….so you get no pity or grace. yall act like the child can just take a pause until you get your isht together. Pay up deadbeats.
I was going to comment up until I read your ignorant mocking of a former president’s name.
You still file but you can write it off. I did it for my ex in the amount of $16,000
They want you to file because they are the ones that were covering “your basics”, which adds up. if one parent is capable then they want that parent to pay for the parties children, they do not want to use someone else tax payers dollars.
I am surprised they did not make you prove the exact cash he gave you each month, whether by bank transfers, cashed deposited copies of checks from the bank, etc and prove dollar amount he paid for clothing etc with receipts prior to approving you for assistance.
Most of these men, (not all) that have huge childsupport arrear payments is because they refused to help support the child for numerous years (5/8/10+ years) a child they help bring into this world. Which is a free ride when you add up what amount it takes to take care of a childs basic needs from the age of birth to 18 years old, which is well more than what most peoples homes cost, which is almost $400,000 (for the basic needs) ☹
I know some states you can not get any assistance unless you do file for childsupport 1. Bc so many people lie about being separated, and 2. Bc it is the states money taking care of that persons child bc they either choose not to or for whatever reason they arent taking care their own child…. I understand it from your end and theres.
Barb,your a real 1
Actually what you’re stating is very far from the truth. The child support laws came into effect around 1975. Reform of child support came about because of over 115 BILLION dollars in UNPAID support. Also, no one can make you file for child support. the agency isn’t the gestapo, they don’t go door to door rounding up women and dads to make sure all are accounted for lol. That’s utterly ridiculous. if the custodial parent files for ANY federal program(food assistance. health care. free or reduced lunch etc) the state then has the right to request information to verify that it is needed. Heaven forbid someone making 300k a year ask for free lunch and get it.
If he was such an awesome dad, then why didn’t he give you more when you were out of work? Sounds like you just wanted some comforts from the government. Maybe you should’ve moved in with your wonderful X to save money.
I tried to work several agreements with my X, but he rejected them all. Even laughed at my reasonable suggestions. So yes, I filed on his butt. And when he became delinquent in his payments and almost got sent to jail, he begged me to drop it and he’d pay me directly. I didn’t want my kids father in jail, so I agreed to drop the arrearage and he pay me directly from now on. He paid 3 months, then he stopped. I was diagnosed with MS a year after we separated and continued working and supporting my kids for 10 years until It got so bad that I had to stop working. And he still never paid a dime. I had re-married, so my husband and I took total care of the kids. I was too busy trying to take care of my kids and stay healthy to deal with his dead beat crap.
So Barb, speak for yourself, and stop acting like you know everybody’s situation. Cause women and men taking care of their kids are not statistics.
I reside in the Republic of Texas. I too have been through this Scam called Child Support. How does this start? In Texas they have this form called a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity. The state has this form given to the parents most of the time at the hospital after the child is born. This form clearly says it is a legal document. I would like to think that since its a legal document they would encourage one take this form to an attorney to see what it all entails but they do not. BTW the hospital gets a kick back on each one of these forms that is signed and processed. The personal at the hospital that hands both parents the form says that if the father does not sign he will not be on the birth certificate and will not have any legal rights to the child. What is the purpose of this form? The purpose is to have a father on file for this child. It also mentions that its for possible Child Support Services in the futore. Say the father was never around and a form was never signed, mom goes to apply to food stamps, medicare, TANF. The Human Health Services Office will almost force the mother to give all the information she has on the father or be denied services. The application for this service says the applicant must comply or be denied services. Now the applications are done on a computer only. I have a paper version. The Child Support Service is VOLUNTARY and it says it on the application (at least the one here in TEXAS). I have a paper application. However if you signed the Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form you already accepting possibly being part of the Child Support system in the future. You have a certain amount of time to rescind your signature from this form but you still have to go to court for that. The application for Child Support asks the applicant to commit identity theft. Yes i said it because it asks the applicant to provide the absent parents SSN from old check stubs, tax returns. Ask if the absent parent owns any vehicle and how many, any assets he/she might have. The “hearings” take place in a court setting but its just a scare tactic because its not a real court preceding. They can do the same thing inside MC Donalds. Per Texas Family Code the agency must try to get both parties to agree, if neither parent agrees then you end up in a real court. BTW the Federal Government gives grants and loans to the state to run this and many other programs but the State does NOT have to participate in the Child Support System aka TITLE 4D. Child support was designed primarily to collect moneys used to pay for food stamps, TANF, and medical assistance by the state from the absent parent. For the people throwing a tantrum wanting to sue the state because the state didn’t do anything to find the absent parent here it is straight from the Social Security Act title 4A section 401 part (b) No Individual Entitlement.—This part shall not be interpreted to entitle any individual or family to assistance under any State program funded under this part. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO ANY GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS. These are guideline the states must follow if getting loans and grants from the Federal Government. The states collect a bonus if they meet a quota given by the Feds on how much is to be collected within a certain period of time. This business makes billions on other peoples backs. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I had to educate myself in court filings, court rules, Title 4D aka child support, Texas Family Code to fight this monster. It was no easy task but i beat it. I say to all of you, TAKE CARE OF YOU CHILDREN PRIVATELY. The Feds and the State are the ones who profit from you, its divide and conquer. The more the parents hate each other the better but they claim its in the “best interest of the child.”
“…that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, among these are Life, Liberty…” A thousand years from now when both my child and I are both dust and ash, who will be my child’s biological father? I will be. That is the perfect definition of “unalienable Right.” If the Government was created to protect our unalienable Rights, how in the heck have they gotten away with child custody and child support laws for this long? And, don’t get me started on how unfair, unequal and unjust the “Bradley Amendment” is. Pathetic. Bill Bradley has a reserved seat in Hell.
“We can not keep telling father’s that they are equally financially responsible, but they do not have equal Rights.” That guy was somewhat on the right track, but our Rights come from God or nature, so why is any human being telling another human being what Natural Rights they do and do not have? Thanks, Liberals/Commies!
Hello good to hear in Texas where is no oversight of what these people do mostly destroy hard working non custodian parents lives with there corrupt child support guidelines they enforce , for instance; Texas has a statue of limitations for the family court to hear a case ,the parent has 10 years to revive the previous court order or the previous order become dormant sec 31.006 Texas civil practice and remedy code . But if you are pro se the family court ignores it’s own court rules by hearing the case anyway
Thanks for the informative comment Martin. I have known for a while that child support is a scam. You and many others have confirmed it dozens of times but the signs are there. It is nonsense and totally backwards to suspend licenses, arrest the noncustodial parent, freeze their bank account (right before bills are due), or suspend or deny passports like the noncustodial is going to run to another country;it’s not that simple. And although there are some who actually have money and don’t pay most noncustodial parents really be in a bind. Bitter women are always judging mainly based on their own cases or just being bitter because they want the father to step up when they don’t step it up themselves. There are different circumstances that cause people to get into arrears and options are very rarely discussed they just enforce their rulings often with no warning. Actually in my case they seem to warn about everything but a bank lien/levy ( go figure). The bank lien/levy is the most inconvenient due to the fact that I get direct deposit because of the convenience and a lot of job don’t like doing paper checks any more so they give you the option of direct deposit or some company card. Not to mention it’s an inconvenience because the banks charge you a processing fee for them putting a hold on your account, which I think is nonsense on the banks part because they should be charging the institution the fee not me. Last but not least they’re not even paying the child support, so all this harassment and inconvenience and they’re not even paying?
well I’m a mom that has to pay child support arrears for my daughter who I raised until she was 15 but now she is 25 and has her own family and I’m still being charged arrears now when she was 15 my kids were taken away from me by Social Services for each kid that they take away the get 1300 to $5,000 per kid per month they say it’s the best interest of the child it wasn’t the best interest of the child my kids were never abused never went out without food never went without clothes went to school but they’re still charging me the arears which I don’t understand because when I had her until she was there father didn’t pay me nothing but $50 a month if that I sometimes I receive support and sometimes I didnt so what happened to the arrears that he owed me for 10 years of not being in her life Social Services took it. Then they went and charge me $345 a month to pay for my daughter for the last 2 to 3 years that my brother had custody of herthey are the ones that made sure they split my whole family up! it’s all about money because I was getting welfare low income they knew I could not afford a lawyer to fight them..so I was targeted after I won a case against the housing dept. you know in my state you have to file for sole custody of your kids or the government could come in and take your kids all the way up until their 17 years old at any time and I found that out the hard way. so now I have 8 Grand in back child support that I have to pay well they want me to pay. so you’re telling me there’s no way that I could get out of this back child support. so when they found my daughter’s father she was already 10 so what happened to the 10 years of back child support that was due to me when they found him I don’t understand the system they should take that back child support do to me that they took from me and put it on my arrears balance. and on top of it all I’m disabled I am in the Battle of collecting money that I’ve earned from these years working that I paid in andthey still want money from me. So how much child support can they take from me on disability.
If the system didn’t step in and “help” there would be no use for all these comments. It seems like women against men here.
If large amounts of money are collected and given to a child’s other parent, it could make the parent who pays stop paying for anything in person. “I’m not buying your shoes I pay child support for that.” Why would a non custodial parent buy their kid ANYTHING?
The fathers have no rights to whether or not a woman has a baby. All they can do is never have sex, EVER. That’s all they have rights to. Birth control can fail.
If a custodial parent can’t pay for their kid they can collect welfare. But a non-custodial has to pay it back?? No one else has to re-imburse the welfare system.
Face it, some of these kids were unwanted by their parent(s). All these comments assume the non custodial parent needs to “step up”. Why can’t the custodial parent step it up?
That does not apply to all.. If men kept it in their pants then they would not have “those problems”.. Same applies for women.. Irresponsibility… I agree about some of these kids not being wanted.. but its not like you can take them back to a store or something.. Be more responsible.. My ex sold his house took 100k and said take me off child support and ill put kids on deed to new house in his country.. I said give me 40k and ill sign papers thru court to relieve you of any future child support.. called me money hungry.. he left came back 9 yrs later and tomorrow he is going to jail.. I have no pity…
I’ve been stepping up for my ex husband for years. In the 8 years we have been separated he has literally paid not even a full 2 years. He doesn’t help with any necessities for my child, or even pitch in for school clothes/supplies. He has had a court order for 3 years and hasn’t paid in over a year. Meanwhile this whole time I’m the one doing everything. He was the one that wanted to get married, he was the one that begged for a child but now he doesn’t want to take care of the responsibility. I know there are women who take advantage and men who actually do what they are supposed to do. But not all, and to boot he is still driving around and not in jail, which if the court system was actually doing what they were supposed to in Illinois then this wouldn’t be an issue.
We decided to have a child (both of us) …He decided to go to bars and I took care of the kids….He left his family for a girl he met in the bar, decided the wife and kids wasn’t what he wanted …paid for a few months . ..then worked under the table and didn’t help at all. I worked and paid for everything while he told everyone I took him..My job was steady and I was able to be with my kids, but my job paid lousy if he had helped they would have had a better life..I’m sure some women are takers but not all…it works both ways..
So here’s a situation… My ex is in CT, but support is in RI, even though she was supposed to report that she moved, and was supposed to get the order transferred to her local area court. The kids are grown and out of the house, ALL support is paid, ALL arrearage is paid, but now I find I’ve had $28,000 accrue in interest on the arrearage, though I was making constant steady payments. All she has to do is say the word, and the interest could be gone, but obviously, her purse would rather have that money in it, instead, making this all about the $$$$ for her. I am remarried and have 3 teenage boys that I am trying to raise, and give a good life, but yet we live paycheck to paycheck because someone doesn’t want to let the interest go. It’s sad that someone can be so selfish, and look at it as she is giving me the jab, when actually it is affecting more than just me. It affects my current wife, her children, etc. We need a bigger home, but no one will finance us because I have RI Support on my credit report, and they dont want a lien thrown on a property they finance to me. Is there any way to get out of having to pay all this interest, which isn’t even technically monies owed to her, but a $28,000 gift given to her by the state of Rhode Island…
TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Some mothers are greedy & wont let the interest go. SHAME ON THEM!!
Going through the same thing. My X told me to not bother paying child support because i was never going to see the child and the child wasn’t mine so i didn’t. Well wouldn’t you know it, 15 years goes by then she all the sudden wanted child support. Needless to say, the amount was over 60K. I started paying on the balance religiously for 18 years, 235 a month, could have paid more but was salty about the way things transpired. All of the sudden, the criminals from Texas took 10K out of one of my IRA’s and recently took another 16K from one of my checking accounts. On the bright side, at least I got the balance down to 15K. I’ll be writing a check for that balance by the end of the year. I’m tired of a mistake i made in the mid 80’s by even meeting this hog haunting me for 34 years. P.S…Maybe try to get a lawyer because the state will not forgive the amount owed. Sorry!!!
My Child Support Arrears Payment has been fulfilled. The child is filly emancipated (20 years old). My Social Security Pension has been garnished. How do I stop a SSA garnishment? Is there a dedicated address and/or department at the Social Security Administration that one needs to communicate with?
Thank you for any comments
You initially received a total amount in back child support payments. You also were given fair notice and warning perhaps you appeared in court in front of a judge and at that time you would have been told what your visitation custody and child support payments would be expected. If this was not brought to court you still would have been notified by the district attorney of your parental obligation to provide your half of the financial responsibility including medical insurance etc. If that was not provided then it is safe to say you had no communication with your child and your child had no way to reach you. If this was the case and you did not know where the other parent went due to failure to inform you then you would have gone to court to press charges for kidnapping. If you simply did not make an effort to have contact or pay any child support the district attorney would have notified you and your chance to willingly make payments would have been ongoing with statements mailed to you with your original debt and each payment credited. You would have proof via your bank statements with copies of checks issued to the D.A. child support division and that would be legal proof of your credits. If your SSA check has been garnished beyond your child’s 18th birthday that can only mean one of two things; your payments were so behind it will take the same amount of years past your child’s 18th birth date as how old your child was when your SSA disbursement began paying child support. For example; little JIMMY your son was 9 years old when your SSA payment began being garnished. So your SSA will continue to be garnished not only the next 9 years until JIMMY turns 18 years old…but for the 9 years of his life you never paid child support..one way or another regardless of the child’s adult age you are legally ethically morally and biologically responsible for 18 years of any child you made a choice to procreate. Some states take your drivers license and prevent you from obtaining any drivers license some arrest and some garnish entire checks of parents working full time jobs as well as taking their tax returns putting liens on houses and other nasty mean tactics meant to collect and pay up a debt incurred rather than making an example out of dead beat parents. More importantly the relationship with your child and how half of raising them being involved and happily giving of yourself unselfishly without letting your child grown or not know how angry you are to have to pay back anything let alone garnished due to refusal. Go to your bank request printout of child support garnishment from the first withdrawal to current date. If the amount garnished is overpaid take your bank statements to district attorney office of child support and bring in any statements they gave you with original amount owed. Namaste.
I owe 46,000 on rears, 23,000 on principal, and 23,000 on interest. I am 45 years old and I am currently paying 1000 dollars a month on rears, trying to pay it off. I owe on rears because my X decided to file for child support, taking me back from the first day my child was born. So, I didn’t receive any credit for the four years I was living with her. You can just imagine how my child support experience began. I even put her through school for a little over a year and she gained a career as a CNA. To be honest I wouldn’t have a problem paying what I owe on rears it’s the interest that kills me. If I didn’t have to pay on interest I would feel a sense of hope. I have always paid child support and it’s just not fair that you have fathers doing the right thing and yet they still get screwed over. My X sure did find herself something better than a 401K.
Look at youtube videos by Rick W. and Amen Osiris if you want this nightmare to end. And tell them warrior sent you as a thank you.
Rick W is an expert at this nightmare. Amen Osiris concentrates on dragging them in to federal court for rights violations. These are 2 great men that definitely know their business. They have many video’s on YouTube and Rick W. provides proof of case dismisses. Good luck
I been paying for years and the interest is killing me too.
I think it’s totally unfair especially in the terrible economy we live in.
How do we put a stop to this unfair practice?
Don’t cheat on your wife/baby mama, don’t divorce, as you now see, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Quit bitching and support your family. Don’t leave your family to satisfy your desire for greener pastures. It doesn’t pay to wreck your family. You won’t be able to support two households. It seems harsh, but it’s better for everybody that way.
Wait how are ppl ending up with huge interest? My deadbeat has dodged child spt for 29yrs while having other kids paying off those cases while mine ended when she turned 18 and he won’t even pay the $50 on arrears.Yes I wish I could sue MD and GA(his state ) for dropping the ball on my enforcement!!!!!!! Deadbeats know how to game the system. I raised a buckeye record holding athlete of the year BY MYSELF!!!
That’s bull. Child support is only awarded as of the date she filed for child support.
My mom started having kids at 15. YOUNG I tell you. But through the course of having 10 kids and being abused and working when she could. Yes she had her ups and downs and yes we all ended up in foster care at some point in our lives. Some longer than others or even adopted. However she had help when she had us kids. Then one of my siblings decided to get back at her because she told them no I can’t give you any money. Now mind you all my mother’s children are beyond the age of 25 now. So this sibling decided to make not one but two claims of child support against our mother. She is almost done with paying all back child support but the interest is keeping her under. How can she go about getting it lowered or stop the interest from growing more. My mom is 60 years old and would like to get her nest egg in order for retirement but can’t due to the never ending interest. Help Me HELP her!
Of course, she wants to nest her eggs and have money for herself…too bad she wasn’t so eager to pay her support. Just because she values her herself above others doesn’t mean the law sees it that way. She must have dodged the system for quite a while to be 60 and still owe. She never married or had help during those years?
My husband owes $135,000 in arrearage for his 2 son’s with his first wife. Both boys are now 22 & 28 (I’ve known his boys since they were 4 & 9 yrs old). What’s crazy is that when his ex filed for child support, she told the court he made $9k/month and his support payment was now $500/month. Thing is, he never had a job that paid him that amount, in fact, he wasn’t working at all. The court took her word for it and now the interest on the arrearage is 3 times the amount of his monthly payment order. How is this fair?
TAX RETURNS WILL FIX THIS WHEN YOU FILE A MOTION TO CORRECT THE OVERPAYMENT, THEY WILL THEN BACK DATE IT REDUCING FUTURE PAYMENTS AND GIVING A CREDIT FOR THE OVER PAYMENT FOR THE YEARS PAID. THE BEST PERSON TO REACH OUT TO IS THE INSPECTOR GENERAL’S OFFICE THE GOVERNS THE CHILD SUPPORT DIVISION. THEY WORK FOR YOU AND THEY MAKE THING HAPPEN. THEY ARE NOTHING LIKE THE BAD SUPPORT THAT CHILD SUPPORT GIVES EVERYONE. CHILD SUPPORT IS A SCAM THAT ONLY HELPS A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE AND THE REST ARE GIVING MONEY TO THEIR CAUSE AND NOT THE FAMILIES.
For those that have these arrears, why did you not go to court and ask them to lower the child support because you were not working? That is what my ex did but he waited five years to do this. This doesn’t stop the fact you do need to support your kids. It’s not right for one parent to have that whole burden when it took two to bring them into the world.
You still need to be looking for work and actually doing it. If you are not and goofing off just to not pay, the court will see this and take that amount back.
I’m the mother in this case where the ex hasn’t paid anything in years-and the ex didn’t pay. He is in arrears. He will have to pay on that until it is paid. There are tools available to everyone, you just have to take them and not avoid your obligations.
Wrong im the man have a bachulars degree in business. If you personally cant find it in you heart to forgive. He cannot do a thing about it but stress cry in his pillow everynight and wish there was some way to help. Its only set up to destroy so called dead beat dads. My 78 year old grandmother has been supporting my nephew since he was born hes 23 years old now she still gets letters saying they owe but wont do a thing to get her a dime. Because its against her daughter in law. My brother has been in prison for 20 years for drugs and sends home his .12 cents a hour. And he still owes my grandmother about 85k she only owes 18. Works as a waitress in a huge chain resturaunt but never has got more than 60-80 a month max but even though hes a full time student that GM pays for his mom dont pay crap. The only way they see childsupport just like most otjer women is it dads obligation even though she has visited him maybe 10 times maybe less in his childhood now only calls for loans she dont pay back. Our system is wrong completly
You have a “bachulars” degree? I am highly doubting that.
Whats wrong with 50/50 parenting Annie?
Amen to that. Why is it that the mother is always on assistance and the father has to pay. Maybe the courts should start awarding the fathers custody so there wouldn’t be that many on assistance, OH WAIT then the courts and cps wouldn’t get thier federal money. Maybe the courts should NOT be involved in my private affairs from the start.
There are plenty of fathers on assistance and a lot of fathers live off of the mother of their children, so your comment saying maybe the courts should start awarding the fathers custody so there wouldn’t be that many on assistance is ridiculous. No matter what, parents have to pay for their children no matter if it’s through the courts or directly.
Oh please my ex wife used me for my income I could provide. She was a stay at home mom for 13 years. Her school loan paid by me all the bills etc. I stayed for the kids, I got tired of being used and just being a roommate dad so I moved out.
My ex got full time work making 13.50 an hour at a retail store. I make around 23 an hour at this time. She gets 800 of my net check every month how is this fair to me? I fished out over 700k of net income for her to live her dream of being a mom with all bills paid. I never had anything left she did the bills and budget.
Now I do my own budget and have a lot to show for what I have. It’s not fair I have to pay her anything considering I would like the 700k plus she wasted of my salary since we had kids. Note I had higher wage work in the past and she managed to spend it al no matter what. Now, I get to spend 73% of my net salary and do more with it than she could.
On to the point 700k plus is more than she would ever make by the time the kids are 18 so why do I have to still pay again? My ex wife Jessica as and is a narcissistic gold digger who’s addicted to the internet, video games and social media. Sadly my teen daughters mimic her to a tee. Wishing them to be 18 so I can save more and sorry for any type o’s this is on a cell and the keys are not so forgiving. She wanted s her free ride and she knows I’m not a loser so she went after the support. It’s fine when it’s iver in a few years she will still get behind on the hous cage can’t afford.
If you are divorce and has been paying child support for 35 years for a disabled adult child how long do you have to pay child support if this child is on SSI since he was 18 years old
If you child Is receiving ssi u have to pay child support for life
Every state has an emancipation age of 22 or less depending on the state. The only way u pay longer is if it is ordered by a court. If so, it would state it in your decree or judgment.
Your child should be receiving an auxilary payment based on your social security earnings. In most states that counts towards child support.
It is always a women in family law that says. Well arrearage builds up fast’
To bad if you get laid off , the company went out of business or the economy is bad and
unemployment was high. Oh well that’s your problem. You better do the impossible.. Tick TICK TICK the meters running. There is 135 billion dollars in un collected child support back
pay in the United States, and it will never be anywhere near plaid off . The system is insane
they don’t care about the children just money. “Well its best for the children”. Even if they are 45 years old, with children their own even teens them selves??????
Finally…someone I agree with. I’ve been on both sides of this fence. I was a single mom who raised a daughter with very little if any child support. I am now watching my partner , father of 3 ,ages 21,23 & 25. License have been suspended at least 3 times iin 7 years & he is\was a truck driver. Due to a motorcycle accident he was out of work for 2 – 3 months and arrears built up quickly. He is frustrated,tired & has lost hope . I am researching the laws & encouraging him to never give up. The laws are impossible & are of no benefit to the parents or children. Someone has to help these men who feel as if nothing they can do.
What about the women/father raising the kids if they get into a accident we still have to feed our children Grow up support the kids
Sad, but try to put yourself in the children’s shoes. They still have to be fed and clothed, regardless of your situation. If this is legitimate, your “partner” can ask for the support to be modified. Most courts want to help, but the people who simply aren’t trying to avoid their responsibilities don’t seek help from the agency.
How did your partner support himself and you while off work? Seems that if he was getting money, he could’ve tried to send in a little bit to stay current.
Can you imagine actually living with and supporting the child. WE HAVE NO CLOCK, NO TICK TOCK.
The custodial parent has to pay not only their part but also for the arrearages the other parent has failed to pay.
That’s my situation. He owed over $15,000. I don’t feel bad that’s why I am going to file for back child.
@Robin no one seems to think about this.
When custodial parents get laid off, life happens, there’s no relief from the child’s basic needs. I’ve never gotten welfare but I have been laid off! And went from earning $3500 net to receiving $2400 in unemployment. How many people can suddenly lose almost 1/3 of their income? My kids didn’t eat less during that time.
My kids didn’t use less electricity, heat and water.
My kids didn’t stop growing and need new clothes and shoes.
My kids couldn’t suddenly drop the activities they were in.
Life happens and when you don’t live in the same household as your child’s other parent, yeah it’s more costly. For EVERYONE.
77% of arrears is owed by fathers classified as living in poverty. The State thinks suspending licenses is the answer. When money grows on trees it may be. According to the CDC, mothers who live in poverty and collect child support, 66% of their income comes from child support. 66%!!! Why are fathers obligated to pay that 16%?
My checks have been garnished on Child Support and have not seen an income tax since 1994 or so the child support has built up and the interest is greater than my support , The funny thing is my ex – wife which has been for almost 27 years took the kids to Folirda which I call kidnapping and Never showed up for court twice ,so the court house and DA and Child Support Division dismissed the case and told me I still needed to pay child support after the kidbapping also never had visitation rights the whole time till 24 years later also during our separation cause I never was able to get a divorce during that time she got with another man and had two more kids and she tried to pinn that on me and the child Support Division almost fell for it , so during the time I had a tough life trying to survive in a travel trailer , luck to pay only for rent on lot 200 month and electric and minimize to local channels on govt box for 23 years , and during this time the kids grew up with her in a gang related community and my two boys were involved getting worse , the bad part is my daughter got shot in the face and survived by our dear God also got into a lot if trouble I still need to investigate they lie and won’t give me details , so I tried living back with them after all grown up , maybe cause she knew she already had that child support coming in after so many years , but I fell disabled applying for disability been denied 3 times going on fourth and move back with my may mom ,but know I can’t stay there and have no income till I see about disability this next time over all I believe we need great attorneys for this nonsense and maybe curse Daniel Ignacio Valdez
All I saw was a bunch of excuses and blaming everyone else. I’m sure there is a lot more going on than your side of the story. If you owe child support, you owe child support.
These men & possibly some women are not disputing the fact that they owe. They are only asking for payments to be reasonable. Allowing them to be able to pay without being homeless.
I agree wit Gina. We only want reasonable payments and go on about our lives. I should be paying insurance on a adult that work,has a family, and live better than I do. I struggle every day to make support payments and it’s unhealthy.
I never been married. Still paying arrears. The mother gave the child to foster care which was a family member that lived out of town. Never had a chance for a DNA. Now the child is close to 30 years old and I’m still paying arrears. I’ll be 61 this year. Am i going to pay for the rest of my life. State have been taking out of my check for ever.
And all I want is the unfair interest payment to stop.
I don’t mind at all paying child support but I will never get it paid off with this unfair practice of tagging on a high interest.
You want to squeak by and pay the bare minimum necessary to feed, clothe, and educate another human being so that you can have some money for your new spouse. You (re) married, or took on another mate, and the previous spouse and kids are mere inconveniences to your comfort…is that what you really mean 😉
Thank you, it’s crazy to see so many people complain about arrears. The reason it gets so high is because they don’t pay. Then they make excuses about life it’s like guess what life happens but kids still have to be taken care of. I think most father’s think they will just let it build up then say well they are grown now why do I have to pay this. That’s what I’m seeing anyway. Then yes people get laid off but if they was involved and let the courts know because they was paying support like they was suppose to then they could let the courts know they was laid off. It’s excuse after excuse but there’s never a excuse why youbshoukdnt take care of a child. If they owe Arrears it’s because they didn’t pay and they should have. If they owe interest it’s because they didn’t pay for along time and would go down if they actually started to pay regularly. If people actually went to court things would get done right. Most father’s miss court and that’s how they go by the mom’s word
That’s not so in all cases that the non custodial parent is not paying. If you are paying on your child support and the custodial parent is awarded back support interest accrues immediately on that. Some like the case for me went back 4 years even though I was supporting my son. Also I was enlightened by one of the agents that even though I pay out my check every week (125.00) because it is not collected in full by the first it is late, so interest is attached. So the system is set up for the interest to accrue. Unless you pay the order in full by the 1st you will always have arrears.
I’m sorry but that’s not my case I have documented proof that cps had 3 modification hearings without notification to me at all. Also, for the year 1996 I have found a. $6,250 mistake in thier favor in 1997 a $5,745 mistake and in 1998 a $9,550 mistake. When I called them and pointed that out I was told that its all been verified so it must be true. For those 3 years I did not pay at all I was in a motorcycle accident and had my support lowered to 60.00 a week. That’s $3,120 each year. Somehow I owe the 3,120 plus the additional sums I listed above. Everyone needs to challenge what they say that you owe. It’s not always so cut and dry Mrs. Carrie.
Seriously!!! Are you kidding me??? Having witnessed many of these hearings the courts turn a deaf ear to any of the realities of life and simply say the order stands or even more often use it as an opportunity to impose even greater financial burden on non-(custodial) parent…translation non-parent. I have actually seen a judge take every last dollar out of a guys wallet, and every dime from his pocket (even when he was covering all of ex’s expenses and paying all he could to support children) and tell him to go eat at a soup kitchen and sleep in a homeless shelter. The fact is if you financially damage one parent it hinders that parents ability to provide for the best interests of the child. Women want equality so what would be more equal than giving custody to father if he can provide for them better. Could it possibly be Social Justice Bias and Discrimination and the fact that the more child support a state collects the more federal funding it gets? Studies conducted by state government reveal that child custody is awarded to Moms about 75% of the time and that after dads spend over 60k on legal fees 60% of the time custody is then changed to the father. Not to mention all of the scientific and statistical evidence that dads are just as capable parents as mothers. Not to mention that there is a bias on who petitions for divorce first and the fact that DSHS and Mom’s attorney’s routinely advise them to make false allegations of Domestic Violence and Child abuse to muddy the waters and slow the whole process down…all for child support money. IF all things considered being equal is a two parent household better than a single parent household especially if one of the two parent household members can stay at home for the kids. The simple fact is the family courts or so clogged that the higher courts delegate family law to commissioners which are just lawyers who are judge wanna be’s and you just have to appeal that decision to get a hearing before a real judge adding time and expense and then if divorce/custody is highly contentious the judge restricts/restrains/terminates one parents rights for the sake of judicial economy so they don’t have to keep hearing it because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or the creative ways their lawyers can keep dragging you back into court so they can line their pockets. Or DSHS and CPS (aka deep state…especially true in nanny states) unlawfully interfering with your parenting practices…to include social workers who have little or no training or experience but make good Social Justice Warriors. The family law system is broken, unjust and many of the laws and the way they are applied are unconstitutional. The judges know it, the lawyers know it, and by the time they get through with you…you will definitely know it. Judges and SJWs do what they want regardless of what the law says because they know that the average Joe just does not have the money to appeal.
It is just one of those realities of life.
How blind you are Mary!
Don’t give up men. I have thought many times of ending my life due to child support and the never ending payments, threats, liens on houses and cars, driver’s license taken, credit messed up, no travel because no passport, taken to court for 5 felonies non support, interest and more interest. All of this while being disabled and having more than half of check taken and had to get a job becuase 250 a month in disability is not enough to live on so now my disability might be taken because I earn too much and risk losing my job because of disability and when I lose my job I will be in the situation that I am in with the interest and back support owed having to find another job because now I dont have the disability that was paying it. It is a nightmare cycle that I refuse to give up on life, I will keep fighting until I am dead. Some of us are not deadbeats and are disabled caught in the system.
I feel for all those men who are paying a price for a child. I as a grandma see a lot. These women take your money and spend frivously. In some cases. A bank account should be set for this check only not the parent receiving. An itemized statement given monthly.
I grew up with both parents my children did too. But as my children reached school age we we poor and not able to buy a lot. Things went sour I wanted to leave but I couldn’t bear the thought of gouging their father financially. So it’s a no win.
too bad you don’t feel the for child or children who’s parent isnt paying child support. Or for the child who’s parent is only getting $50 a month in child support. Btw you could have left and not ‘gouged’ the father. too bad your kids had to be stuck in that situation where no one was happy.
Really? What about when the ex has had a live-in the entire time who pays over half of his household’s bills and they refuse to let you see your kids? The state takes out a loan on your kids in your name without you agreeing to it and then gouges you left and right forever! The ex is abusive and has 3 domestic violence charges but the court doesn’t care. They only want MONEY!
No. We all don’t. My son is now 22. His father disappeared for 8 years and never paid $53 dollars a week in ordered support It grew to $16k. My parents helped me. He was caught in South Carolina eventually. Tried to duck. Today he is down to $7k. My son didn’t have a present father and no support when needed. That SOB will pay till the last penny. Which repays my parents as well!
I owe 40,629.00 interest which only goes up every year due to me not being able to pay but only a little on it because of current support obligations. I am 40 and have been pay for years, two of the kids are 18 and one is about to turn 18. My nightmare with child support is almost over but yet my new nightmare begins with paying back all interest and back support which will never happen in my lifetime. I look forward to one day when I am not able to work and have my retirement garnished as well while living on the streets at 70. What a life. Some of you women that are calling a man a pos for not being there are some of the same who have alienated the men from doing so all the while the man is working one two jobs to keep up with the criminal child support system so there is no time to spend with kids. Easy to say when you have custody of the kid. Also remember your right to abort should also be my right to not support.
You hit that one on the head sir.. I’m %100 with you these child support laws are crazy.
I’m also with you Rick. These laws are to hurt us not help us. I owe 60k and I pay 500 a month never late because it’s deducted from my paycheck. The interest is killing us! And when you go back to modify the arrears they still look at your income. Why? The child and adult now. We need to find away to petition the old laws
My husband’s ex let it get to almost $100k – Granted they BOTH did things wrong! She begged for cash, he gave it to her and she constantly said she would give him credit. Didn’t happen! With over 5k texts saved (he had more but lost previous cell phone) – 300 pages in excel of the text messages of harassment for money we went to court! Those pages added up to $60k of money given to her, she never texted “thank you” so he was only forgiven $35k. In the ORIGINAL divorce she got full custody, him paying $1500/month AND THEN sent e-mails to his clients, made him lose his job, THAT is really how the money racked up. AND she emptied his bank accounts ran up his credit cards, etc.! Since July 2009 to July 2017 we have been to he!! & back, over & OVER with her shenanigans!
NOW, as of August 2017 – she has been EVICTED to the tune of almost $9k from her home, his kids live with us, she is living in a BEDROOM somewhere the $60k arrears is down to a little over $35k PLUS interest of almost $9 so it’s back up to $44k
She DOES NOT HAVE a job AND has not worked in 16 years! She has a wrap sheet of 3 arrests for theft! And now an eviction… NOT to mention the deplorable living conditions that she and children lived in… Animal feces, urine, animal hair, GARBAGE, ALL OVER THE HOUSE! all the toilets in the house broken, dirty dishes & pots & pans in the sink stack to the ceiling AND the a/c broken.
WE WILL be filing for full custody, so I guess that he will still have to pay the arrearage, I think that she needs to start paying him Child Support out of her arrearage dollars.
She did not even buy them schools clothes last year nor this year. SO, this year I took over and bought clothes for them AND school supplies and CHANGING our house for them to live with us to the tune of $4k – THAT’S not to even mention that we have been feeding them practically EVERY meal since June, SHE has not chipped in for food.
What DO you people out there think about that one.
So I got on here to see if we can get the arrears adjusted. SHE even admitted to him that she owes him another $20k forgiveness on the arrears.
if she’s so untrustworthy, why are you taking anything she admits at face value. She’s probably saying that to seem nice and understanding.
I dont understand why you think she needs to chip in for the food their father fed them, he’s their father so wouldnt it be his responsibility to feed them if their in his care?
Same shoes here its a broken system deadbeats means fathers queens never do nothing wrong. We need to strart a movement
I love this post. I completely agree with you and feel for you! I was a single mother after divorce and agreed no child support going either way. I wanted my ex to be able to provide a home for my son to visit him at. I also agree completely that if women want the “right” to choose abortion a father should have the choice to support and be involved in that child’s or not. Men have no rights in this country and women are bitching they need more. My current husband pays over half his income to child support, current and arrears. Three of his children are grown and one we support when he visits us as well as when he’s with his mother. There is no bigger scam than child support.
Dead beat dads are the reason for child support and struggling singlr mothers cant always make ends meet.
exactly. If you paid child support on time, then it wouldnt go in arrears. If you lose your job or get sick, you can file with the court to lower you child support payments. Hell even if you only paid a little bit to child support instead of ignoring it altogether the arrearages wouldnt be so outrageous.
Its funny that deadbeat parents complain about having to pay the other parent child support but dont seem to care if their child goes without
I was paying 5000 a month in child support. Then the airline I worked for went under. I lost my job and went to court to get my child support lowered. The judge refused and actually broke the law in his ruling. I turned him into the state bar, the state bar found him guilty of breaking the law but, told me they couldn’t over turn his ruling, they could only reprimand him. During this time I became seriously ill with Valley Fever which went undiagnosed for 8 years. I was bedridden the whole time. Until one night I couldn’t breathe, they found a huge cocci mass in my left lung which I had to have removed. By this time I was so deep in the arrerages I couldn’t see the light of day. Now I am on SSD and 50% of my check is garneshed because I now owe close to 750,000.00 dollars. All because the judge broke the law.
I agree Child support is the world’s biggest scam & some of us women know it we sit around and talk & Laugh at how they do the men it’s wrong My friend went out made babies with other men’s & Laugh bout her husband taking care of all those kids she put him out she still making pay child support she let him stay and she still make him pay child support and the child support system follow right along with that woman and the child support system they are lazy and they don’t give a damn about people’s feelings if they did they would get up and stop these sorry behind women that goes out and make babies on their husband and force they’re husband to take care of these children that’s not theirs talking about child support they don’t support child they support adult care while you are grown with your own family damn we have a good child support system don’t we sorry sorry lazy they are
That’s crazy that you only see it that way. I was a single mom of three working 2 jobs barely got to see my kids. While me ex and his wife was able to not work because they lived for free and wasn’t paying child support either. Mom’s work hard too even when some do have to pay child support their little bit of child support don’t take care of half what the child needs. I don’t understand why his can help make a child but then think oh they aren’t living with me why should I help take care of the needs in the house. If people don’t want kids they should stop having them and if they already have them they should help take care of them. If they don’t want to get behind then they should pays as they are suppose to. If they lose their job or make less then they should follow the rules let child support know their situation has changed the amount would change. It won’t change if they never paid and the arrears got so high that it can’t change. The only person’s fault that is though is the one that’s not paying as they should of.
The best thing you can do is get copies of all payment maid,get copies of what you owe your ex and copies of when and how they gave your ex because these people are corrupt check your payment records I bet there are payment records discrepancy .I know that’s what I found out but who you gonna call ?you got it ,ghostbusters? Because that what you be doing chasing a ghost ,it’s hard getting payments in excess from these corrupt people
Does anyone know if I as the custodial parent in fl who’s owed support can get them to drop some of the interest? I called child support enforcement and they said it wasn’t up to me.I want only the principle that he owes not the thousands in interest. ….there is no way he’ll ever dig out of the hole he’s in ,weve all moved on my daughter is an adult now .
I agree,I been paying child support for a very long time,and I don’t mind cause they are my kids,but what gets me is I didn’t leave my kids cause I didn’t love them,myX- wife wanted me out cause in her words she could get more money for child support,and everyday she made it hard on me,til I couldn’t take it,So I left, even at one point in time we got back together and I still had to pay child support,but now my oldest turn 18 and I didn’t have to pay for him, he now is 26,my 2 nd turned 18 and now they order me to pay child support for all 4 of my kids,and no matter how many times I tried I get screw I’m having to pay more than I can offered, been that way for the last,20 yrs and I can’t get them to lower the payments
My husband was just contacted by a gentleman that found him on Facebook. The gentleman stated that he had been doing genealogy on his wife’s side of the family. His wife’s mother (his mother-in-law) told him my husband’s name and where he lived in 1982 when she met him at a softball tournament. The mother-in-law stated she got pregnant as a result of a one night stand, supposedly by my husband (he was single at the time). Thus, this gentleman is claiming my husband is the father of his wife – she would now be 34yros. This gentleman states he will be pursuing legal action for my husband to have a DNA test so child support can be collected on those lost years. My husband does vaguely remember this – he is not proud of it – but he was drinking, doing drugs, and was not the only man to have intercourse with the woman that night. He wants to have the DNA test as he feels the possible daughter should know – however, he is concerned – as am I – about the possibility of having to pay back child support. Any advice is welcome!!!!
You can not go back and collect child support on an adult unless the order was put in effect when she was a minor.
what Lori said.
I have the opposite problem as most of you. The father of our 5 children has never paid anything and even when we were together I was the only one who worked. We have not lived together for 12 years and at some point human services made me file for child support. Which of course being in and out of prison and a bum he never paid. Then 2 years ago he finally managed to get SSI (for addiction and bipolar not physical). So they said he no longer had to pay current support and could pay 50 a month on back child support. Then he appealed again and they said he didn’t need to pay any of the back support or current. I understand they cant touch SSI which is still bull but why not leave the order for when he might get inheritance from his parents or any other money. It is NOT fair we both had 5 children but I am the only one the state decided needed to support them in any way.
To date my oldest is almost 17 and I have received $99.
The state did not decide this… when you had 5 children, YOU decided to be responsible for them. What if he died? If he is disabled then it is no different than he had died.
I am telling you this from the same position as you. My ex-wife and I had 3 children and she took off and abandoned us, and has never paid a dime. I enjoy my children and provide for them. You are bitter that you have to provide for YOUR children? So what you are doing it alone… many of us do. SSI will most likely pay to your children too if that is what he is getting. But don’t expect sympathy because you get to take care of YOUR children, we there you have help or not… there are too many pepole out there that have to pay but don’t get the pleasure of raising their child. That is way more tragic IMO.
I agree. My son’s father was more concerned with not paying child support than he was about forming a relationship with him. Did whatever he could to not pay….even thought if he didnt see my son he wouldnt have to pay anymore child support, or he’d argue why should he have to pay when I make more money than him (he wasnt working so it was easy to make more than him). The rare times he did see my son, it was supervised and even then all he’d do is ask my son about me (where was I, what was I doing, did I have a boyfriend) or made my son feel bad because he didnt like football and was a little chunky at the time. The court finally ceased visitation because it was negatively affecting my son (who’s now 15 and hasnt seen his father since he was 8), but told him he had to pay child support, but he didnt. last I knew, the arrearages were up to 15,000, but I have no way to collect that.
Until the day he died, he insisted that it’s my fault he couldnt see my son. My son’s better off now, but I always thought it was sad that he never cared enough to even try to get to know my kid.
Shawn your post is perfect! Agree 100%
have you tried to get ssi based off his ssi for the children? look into it. if they say no, at least you tried.
Angela: I have almost the same problem.
Being a single parent of 2, ages 19 and 14 which have the same dad. My children dad in and out of jail. He has been on child support about 4 years and told me and his children, he will not work but will work off the books so he do not have to pay child support. As a single parent, I do the right thing for my children but I struggle with taking care of my kids, bills and making ends meat. I am living paycheck to pay check and every dime counts. I even taken on a part time job just so my kids can join activities in and out of schools. All I ask and want him to do is to help me. He is actually laughing at me struggling while he is living his life with his new girlfriend of the month. He will only give the kids money for their birthday and Christmas. No school materials, clothes or anything for there activities for school, church, or any other activities which the kids may want to partake in.
Again, child support is very much needed and need to be enforced. For the parents that are actually doing right by paying child support, I commend you. For the parents who think and probably will get away with it, I pray you feel the struggle because the struggle is real.
My Husband and I have been together now for 17yrs. Today is our 14th wedding Anniversary,when I met my husband he told me about his son that he shared custody with his ex, who had been cheating on him they had a rather ugly divorce in the state of CA. He went pro Se she had an attorney. She lied about previous money given for support and car repairs of course” What is really important here is the fact that my husband had started out owing arrears, which we all know@ 562.00 a mo ,plus medical& dentai . Really adds up quick and it has they have taken my Fed income tax and stimulus but was never applied to the amount owed? We always provided the transportation to and from Huntington beach and so.cal rual area every other weekend. Then my husband was seriously injured@ work.” He asked for a modification hearing by phone and was denied actually, Hospitalization after Hospitalization,he’s on disability,they’re still deny modification and we are no longer living in California, He has a legal firearm obtained it legally now the DOJ sent a certified letter telling him to turn himself and his firearm into the nearest authority? Please Since when is it illegal to owe money? The child is 26yrs old and he lived with us as soon as the child support stopped at 19yrs since his mom held him back by not putting him in regular school.he was working a full time job and paying rent to his own mother but I do worry about my husband.He is my world she said that she would make him suffer.why? Because she was going out with the girls 2 nights a week comming home at 5am ? Please if you have a penis in this country you can’t get a break,MY husband wasn’t a deadbeat DAD in any sense of the word.orthwise why would I be such a big part of his son’s life? This justice system sucks!
I understand exactly what you’re going through, and have been through.
I have a story and still unresolved issue in llinois.
This issue is destroying many of man and is unfixable.
It is a government policy that I hope our new president will eliminate.
Lawyers just tell the half of it, they say want to do, and know it will not help.
I hope to start a grassroots movement in each state and petition the Congress to change this for all of us God willing.
I think of they capped the interest at an amount that was lower people could catch up but as it is now …….these people will never catch up and at some point they will just quit trying to live.
Yes! Something needs to be done. It took 2 people to make these kids and why does one have to go into so much debt while the other sits and collect. Why is it so easy for CS to find and collect but want proof that a child is missing school, not living with the parent or running around in the streets. It’s sad when a father is trying to pay and be there for the child, but the system isn’t helping the father lower the amount or applying the payments or the child is not allowed to live with the father because now the mother won’t receive the payments. How is it ok for the Government to continue supporting a parent and their still having kids? I’m not denying that CS shouldn’t be paid to some of the parents, but geeze this is out of control and the paying parent is never heard or helped.
nother horror story for everyone. I was married for 12 years to someone I thought loved me. At the time I had a business where I earned approximately 150,000 a year. When she divorced me my child support payment was $1,083 a week. After two years my business closed I was unable to keep it going. My income then changed to 50,000 a year approximately and some years a lot less 25,000. For 11 years after our divorce I paid child support at 31% of my income because I have four children with her. 11 years later my ex-wife asked for more money so that it would help pay for my children’s College. I was in no position to add more money at the time she then took me to family court in Monroe County New York where the judge proceeded to award her child support arrears in the amount of $180,000 the interest alone on these arrears is $1,288 a month the child support payment demanded by the court was $322 a week plus $161 towards the arrears + $322 towards the interest my income is nowhere near that now. I have currently lost my passport, I have lost my driver’s license. I have lost my bank account I have lost my income tax I have lost my social security and any income that I earn moving forward will be garnished at 65% until the day I die. the family court Magistrate actually spent a total of 20 minutes with me I think I had approximately 10 words that were said during that time and I was threatened with incarceration if I did not keep quiet. Moving forward from this day I have come to accept 65% of my income will be taken and no matter what i do. my social security check will be taken. no matter where I go my driver’s license will never be returned, which was a Class A CDL license. Meanwhile my ex-wife continuously says it is for the children. She has divorced for a second time and lives in the village in a large house they bought the home next door to them bulldozed it and put an inground pool in. My children have everything under the sun you cannot buy them a gift because they most likely have it. My children have never been on welfare or taken anything from New York state. my two oldest daughters are in college and will be out in a couple years my other two children are in high school and will be out of college and approximately 6 years either way I am okay with paying child support and the amount they ordered for the next 10 years to 15 years. the issue I have is that I will go to my grave Owing my ex-wife a half a million dollars because of the interest compiling on a $200,000 arear judgement and enforced by the New York State Child Support Enforcement. I find it hard to grasp the fact that this law was put into place to protect the government from paying for children on welfare when my children have never ever used the state’s money. I am still responsible to pay this money even after I’ve paid 31% of my income. after speaking too many lawyers I have found there is no help for a man in my position I am treated like a murderer in the courtroom I am treated like a slave by my ex-wife.
Frank, you need to watch Rick W’s YouTube channel. He is a retired disabled NYNY police officer and is an expert on NY child support. His paperwork is kicking NY’s child support butts. He asks for a very small donation. Tell him Richey Cole in Texas sent you.
Very well said.
My husband owe back child support and they take it out of his check weekly, but he has custody of all 3 kids for the last 5 years y is he still paying back pay if he has the kids, when they money goes straight to the mother of his kids, also. When he files taxes she gets that as well, the kids don’t see not one dime
A friend had custody of her kids, received child support, eventually the father got custody, and now the mom is the one paying child support. Either it’s different for your family because he wasn’t caught up on child support like my friends ex or he needs to get a lawyer & get it reversed. From other child support issues from other people I know, you can’t rely on the system to do its proper job. You have to take initiative to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
He should have been careful who he slept with? Lol fun times.
its to pay off the arrearages that he owed before he had custody of the children. once the back pay id paid off, he wont have to pay it anymore. I hope if he has custody of the kids, he took care of that through the courts, so that it cant be a he said she said thing later.
My husband is paying back support on his 3 adult children. He lost his job, and now that he is finally getting some leads on jobs, they have suspended his driver’s license, making it virtually impossible for him to get a job. I understand that he has to pay the arrears, and we are willing to pay it, but can they still revoke his license as punishment once the kids are all over 19?
I am presently going thru the same b s with the Tx AGs office. It’s a money scam,I’m 64 drawing 755$ mo. They took half of that, so how am I to survive?? Our lawmakers need to change this law before we all become homeless. It’s not right, my son is now 39 yrs old and the ex is not getting one cent of the arrears, only The Ags office.
omg my friend! im prety much in the same boat!my problem is i cant find a lawyer to help me in ant way ! im on dissability and they also take an insane amount of my only income! and i will be if i can make it i will suffer until im 70! years old!! makes no sence as she is doing very well and making great money!! im in canada though! and you? i hope all the best! plesae say hello! thank you ludy!
yup. they can until the arrearages are paid off. Has he contacted the state to make let them know he wasnt working and to see if they can make an adjustment or is he just not paying?
Ok here is another good one , I’ve been reading a lot of comments and laws on different websites , and I just found out that my husband will have to still pay child support for his now dead son , so what’s wrong with this picture ?
Well, if he would have paid his child support when his son was a child and alive he would not be in the predicament he is in now. You are so inconsiderate to say “his now dead son”. May son past away, but his sperm donor would not pay his child support. So, now he owes over $40K. When my son was thirteen he only owed $21K, but if the dead beat dad would have paid child support at the time my son was a baby he would not have owed so much. But he decided to pay $10 every three months.
exactly. what livvie said.
my friend pays back child support on a adult person on social security , and as 2 children
does the orignal order change after the child is 19 if arreage is not payed ?
Yes, the original supprt order should stop and an Arrears amount only set in Most states. However, In some states it chikd support goes to 21 or when they graduate from college. Check your local laws. Best wishes.
yes and no. The arrearages are still owed and often they keep the payments at the same amount in hopes of it getting paid off sooner.
The reality is that this is a government scam to bilk american men out of their hard earned money for a lifetime. I call it “Endentured slavery” !!! With threats of taking & keeping all licenses and property. Why are these not being called terrorists threats ? In addition to violations of human rights ! People who see this as reasonable,probably also see privacy invasion as constitutional to fight terrorism. Double standard ?
Most states gleefully ignore 42 US Code 654(21)(a), which caps the amount of interest that states may charge on child support arrears because increasing the gross amount of ‘child support’ collected increases the kickbacks (I’m sorry – incentive payments) that states receive under the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act for collecting ‘child support’.
For this reason, I would have the local prosecutors office recalculate your child support arrears using the 6-percent interest rate specified by Federal law, rather than by state law.
I also had to remind my local prosecutors office that because of the Supremacy Clause in the US Constitution, that they were required to use this lower interest rate on child support arrears interest to calculate the interest that I was ordered to pay on retroactive child support rather than the higher interest rate specified by state law.
I am the father of two boys, both of which are over 18 now. The mother of one of them, gave her mother custody of our child when he was about 1, and I was still forced to sign my rights over later when he was about 5 – Somehow, I still had to pay back child support. As to my first son, over the time of his first 14/15 years, I paid over $40,000 cash. When he was about 14 or 15, he was having trouble with his mother and it was agreed that he would move in with me for a short time. I told him to grab every single thing that he owned – after all that time and all of the money that I spent – my son did not even have a full week worth of clothes – ALL of his belongings amounted to about 2 pair of jeans, 3 pairs of socks, a couple of shirts, an alarm clock and a skateboard. My child with this woman was both, hers and my first child, however, after her first child, she had 3 or more by three other different guys, all of which she is still living off of the child support. In the end, between the two cases, most of what is due is past support interest which is such an ungodly absurd amount, which will never be paid off in my life time, and I quit paying the day my son moved in with me and I saw where all of that money went, not to my son. I will never understand the point of interest on child support – the children are not credit cards, houses, cars, bank loans…..they are kids – as long as they are taken care of, that should be all that matters. My dad never paid a single penny of child support his entire life, and I am now 41 – and I will say that I turned out just fine. I can understand courts getting involved in order to make sure that a child is taken care of, however, the interest is BS in my opinion. There are way too many welfare queens out there who never work a day in their life, because it is easier to have a child just to get the free money. My kids are grown and healthy, they made it to adult hood, the money to get them there helped, but its the last thing significant in a childs mind – they dont care about the money, they care about the relationship, period. Is there a chance that I will ever be able to pay that crazy amount of interest? Never going to happen in my life time, regardless of what anyone says or demands.
It’s like the state is profiting off of your seeds. I offered my ex a settlement of $10,000 he refused because he thought he was entitled to the interest. So, now I am paying for adult children. How can the system be so greedy?
My friend has been paying child support for 18 years now. The mother never wanted my him to have any interaction with the child only financial. The child has down syndrome and we just heard that California has a law that requires to pay child support for the rest of the child life because he is considered disable. I think its so unfair because he has been very responsible paying up to $1500 a month plus all his medical expensive for the mother not to work and living of the child support. My friend is married and has no children because he will be financial not stable. He was told if he has a child of his own he will continue with child support and only be reduce by minimal. Do you have any advise or comments?
I already paid off my balanced …including interest … But after a month I received a letter again that I still owe her this amount of money??? I don’t get it!! I been writing them letters and showing them that I already done paying my debt but still they don’t hear me out but still sending me bills. I want to hire a lawyer at that time but I lost my job and still charging me for that monthly payment plus interest on top of the interest… What is the best thing should I do to stop this? Thank you
I’m in the same situation and I want you to realize there is no way out.
I want to start a grassroots movement to try to help all of the parents who are abused by this system.
The children deserve a better situation than this!
Best Regards to all who suffer these unfair laws.
instead of writing letters, gather all the information and go to an office or courthouse. Speak to someone directly, give them the proof and ask them for help.
My ex daughter-in-law was given $800 for back child support and she doesn’t want to report it.
Your son should only make payments through the child support office. Even if it is a little as $20.00. This way, the support is always acknowledged.
I disagree with payments will always be acknowledged. All judges are ex-lawyers. They cause all parties to hire lawyers.
So even when you pay and have your receipts, they cost you and don’t rule in your favor.
This is a shameless situation, and children should not be used by custodial parents to abuse non-custodial parents.
I had my receipts and still and awaiting credit for them 35 , year’s later.
I hope to start a grassroots movement soon to take this issue to the Congress!
This. this way there is proof that the payments were made.
Ya’ll want to hear a good one, we’ll here you go. I have 2 daughters, 1 just turned 21 and the other just turned 19. My oldest never married, but my youngest just got married. I’m the custodial parent and worked my butt off to make sure they had any and everything they wanted. In the mean time their father was in and out of prison cause he was and is an alcoholic along with being very abusive. We got a divorce in 1999 and by then he had already had several dui’s, plus the domestic abuse. I opened a child support case thru our local dhs back in 2006 hoping I would get some sort of compensation for all my hard work. By 2007 he was 50,000 behind and when he found out he was furious and desperate. He’s been put in prison 3 times and missed out on everything concerning his kids. Now, it gets even better! When he got out this last time my oldest daughter was 17 and was trying to have some sort of relationship with him. So because she was around him a little more he went and opened a food stamp case and put her on it. By doing that dhs opened a child support case on me, to where I would have to pay that piece of s**t child support and At that time I couldn’t afford to hire a lawyer so I was screwed. They wouldn’t listen to me, was intimidating and rude. So dhs had 2 cases opened on 1 child, where he was supposed to pay me and I was supposed to pay him. Tell me that’s not screwed up. I’ve gotten $690 behind and their trying to garnishment my tax refund, but out of all them years that he didn’t pay, they have never garnished his. Our child support system is so screwed up and nobody knows what there doing. I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with dhs, cause it’s nothing but a cercious ring.
Oh I hear you Los Angeles County will not listen I had one case in two places Los Angeles and Orange County Los Angeles would not listen it went on for years garnish my wages from two counties finally one year one woman called me from Orange County and told me that she saw the problem she helped me she called down to Los Angeles and they finally got it straight after 3 years
What goes around comes around
Thank you for this perspective, I agree this system is broken.
I hope to start a grassroots movement this spring to help all victims of the current system.
Children, Mother’s and Fathers all are victims of the current system.
Let us band together in hope of change.
Please sign this petition to change unfair child support laws.
Non-custodial parents, making up the majority of men are treated unfair when it comes to welfare! If you make noncustodial parents pay it back and tell them to get another job if they can to pay it off, but these welfare queens and kings and illegal aliens don’t have to look for work and pay it back! Non-custodial fathers are not “Deadbeats” we are “Dead Broke”! Quit your damn judging. You know nothing of each individual case. You weren’t there. The courts are bias towards fathers in this country and I just proved It. If you doubt it, just call your local welfare office and see if it isn’t the truth! The whole family court is crooked and corrupt. The real deadbeats are working in the family court system! You people that want to man bash had better open your damn eyes and quit being a vindictive a**hole 50/50 is the best remedy unless it is proven in court that one or the other parent is a hazard to the children! 50/50 is fair if they live in the same town!
I agree… family court is crooked and treat father unfair. We now live where we fight for equality so women and men work so both should help pay for child as 50/50 and should take into account all other expenses that one has. How to change the laws?
I agree. Both parents should support the child 50/50. financially and emotionally. That is not always the case, and minus a few exceptions, most custodial parent with arrearages didnt pay any child support, or the least amount they could.
Child support is based on the noncustodial parents income. Here, whatever the noncustodial parent makes they are obligated to pay 20% of that. Sometimes the noncustodial parent is required to put their child on their insurance and pay 50% of the non-covered bills, but not always. If that happens the the other 50% medical is covered by the other parent. The custodial parent pays for the rent/mortgage of the home the child lives in, buys the child’s food every week/day, pays school fees, pays for last minute needs, car payment or even bus fare to get the child places, etc. If child support is a decent amount its helpful…..if it’s a sad little amount like $200 or less a month what does that help with?
Ha ha well I am a woman non-custodial parent and I NEVER get a fair shake in court. This last time my child support was supposed to be lowered due to state law…. yet his lawyer argued I had demonstrated I could pay that amount and he won!!!! We all feel the pain believe me!!
Sorry if you are having a tough time supporting your kids…but what about the custodial parents, like me, who are left with 3 kids to support because their father decided he “didn’t want to support a family any more”? Is it okay to shift the entire burden over to me because he doesn’t feel like helping raise the kids is a priority?
I have had a tough time supporting my kids, but I went out and worked every day so we could survive. I have no sympathy for people who are whining because they are being forced to pay child support arrearages…They should consider how difficult they have made their kids’ lives by not providing support. They should think about how the custodial parent had to work twice as hard to support the kids while they didn’t provide their fair share of monetary support or, in our case, any support at all, including being a father to them.
If I ever see my children’s father again, I’d be hard pressed not to spit in his face.
Thank you!! I don’t understand where the complaining is coming from. I’m the custodial parent and if I was in the position to do it by myself I would. My kids father thought that once we split he didn’t have to take care of our 2 children. After almost a year with no financial and physical support I took him for child support. As soon as I did he quit his job, my kids lost their medical insurance and he moved out of state to live with his Dad. Since he’s been gone he hasn’t really worked and I sporadically receive support. Therefore he’s in arrears and rightfully so. These kids don’t ask to be here and it’s the job of BOTH parents to give them the best so that they can have the best start at life. I don’t feel sorry for the non-custodial parents who refuse to do the best for their kids because of selfish reasons. The arrears should go to the custodial parent because of all the expenditures placed upon them daily to take care of their children.
Finally, a response in support of the custodial parent. I am baffled by many of these comments, none of which acknowledge the burden on the custodial parent to handle not only their own parental responsibilities, but also those of the NC parent. When the NC parent chooses to relieve themselves of their responsibilities, then all of their responsibilities fall on one person.
For those of you complaining, try thinking of it this way. If you owe, say $50K, that means that is $50K that the CP has had to shell out. That means the CP has already spent $50K of THEIR hard earned money caring for child(ren) that you helped make. The costs to raise the child doubles for the CP when the NCP decided not to pay. This is not even including non-financial support. When you don’t visit your child, the CP loses potential income, they cannot take evening/weekend work, therefore limiting their income earning potential. There is a good reason these laws are in place.
Saying a non-custodial parents payments “match” the amount of money the custodial parent shells out is wrong. No ma’am. If that were true, courts could require both parents put the EXACT same amount of money in an account where the funds could only be used for the child(ren). It doesn’t happen this way because court ordered payments are biased & outdated.
Custodial parents generate income from non-custodial parents without having to be held accountable that the funds be used on the child.
I’m a mom. I am also the daughter of a dad who sent checks “home” with me to give my mom. Dispite his house being my home too, he paid for everything for me. Thank god he was in the position to do so.
Our children are a gift, and the future leaders of the world. Raising them is a privilege, not a punishment. Moms, back off. You’re lucky to be a mom, even without a dad.
I disagree very much with the attitude “I did not make a baby myself.” Sure I needed sperm, that’s it. The rest I did do myself. I was 100% in control of letting my pregnancy go to term, and deciding to raise my child. I could’ve chosen adoption. I absolutely do not understand or agree with a non-custodial parent having zero rights to make those big decisions. Why can’t a non-custodial parent decide to place a child for adoption? Even if the child is still with the custodial parent. No one should be forced to parent.
Some women lie about being on birth control, I’ve met one. She collected child support for 18years. What about failed birth control? Another friend of mine was shocked she was pregnant after a condom broke. Really, what can men do??? These 2 women were 100% in charge of the men’s fate. The “father” couldn’t stop my friend from having an abortion. He was helpless, and did his best to avoid avoid a pregnancy. Sex is natural and normal. Why are we making men lose control of their lives?
I could collect public assistance and would never have to pay it back. Why is it non-custodial parents need to pay back funds from any kind of public assistance? I do not have to pay for my child’s college. Why are those who are forced to pay child support also forced to pay for college?
Women need to take responsibility for their choices too. When it comes to parenting, women have more decision making power (which I want to keep). No one should pay child support. No one should be able to keep a child from the other parent either. It’s best for the child.
It’s a modern world. Child support laws need to keep up.
And the TRUTH is told.
Donna, Tricia, C & Claudia —- Preach!!!
You bring a strong perspective to the broken system.
I want to start a grassroots movement to fix the system this spring.
Custody, Support, Grandparents, all parts of the system are broken!
I am writing regarding a friend. 6 years ago he paid his back child support in full, but was told he would have to pay the interest that had built up. So every single week for the past 6 years he has paid $70 per month towards that interest, with no end in sight. Then he went to his bank the other day and his account was frozen by the state, because they said he owes several thousand in back child support. Now he has no money for food or anything. And of course he has to get legal help to get this straightened out. He is unemployed at the moment, but can’t get his unemployment check because that was going into his bank account. There are several bills that come out automatically of his account also. So now those will be delinquent as well. What is wrong with these agencies? Albeit, he did make some mistakes in the past but those were cleared, and now because of some bureaucratic error he has to suffer. To say this is total incompetence is an understatement !
well boohoo your friend did this to himself by choosing to ignore his responsibilities. Maybe he’s paid his BACK support, but his mistakes are clearly not “paid” for. remember the money is only a portion of the problem… now its KARMA… Haven’t you heard of the TENFOLD phenomenon ? If you do something bad to someone or good…. you get it tenfold back…good or bad….. sorry, Ya play , Ya PAY!!!!!! and sounds like he’s paying dearly….id bet those kids paid dearly too..
Good now you know how the mother feels. But feel the pain of bills every month .. lol. Go f yourself
Biggest joke is for the dads who are not deadbeats. I feel like I pay for all the ones who are.. I have two girls I see and love to death.. they are my life… I lost a job making 100k.. and went to nothing .. I notified my ex and while collecting unemployment I paid her 35 percent of what I was getting from unemployment. I called my attorney and he goes dummy go to the court and modify it.. so I did.. me and my ex had the agreement well in court she says no I want what was owed to me.. so I end up paying arreage no biggie… whatever.. I have a new job etc.. well she lives with her parents and her and her parents talk about me to my girls calling me a deadbeat etc… I am just at wits end.. I mean its a joke
Unfair, that the dads that are responsible pay for all the deadbeats dads. The family count doesn’t do anything about it.
I know many of us are labeled but prefer to use the time to try to adjust all attitudes.
We collectively need to identify the problems and have a grassroots effort to end each type of unfair situation.
Sadly you should have gone to court in the first place, even if you and your ex came to an agreement.
There should definitely be a law that states if the father does not know about the child, there should be no back child support.
A mother that keeps this from the father, taking away from him his relationship with the child then gets greedy and goes for $$ should be criminal.
That said let me say this. A father needs to take care of his kids. You dads should be fighting for them. I know its an uphill battle, but without trying you get nothing and its not in the best interest of your children. Fight for them, be there for them.
Now my story is this, my ex and I were never married. We had kids though. Two beautiful children. I left her. I could list the reasons why, but does it matter? We didn’t get along. We at first had our own plan. We had PP and I was paying CS. That lasted about 3 months, then I decided I better pay in check form. She ripped the check up and threw it at me. I said it was check or nothing, because I was protecting myself. Anyway fast forward 2 months. I had sporadically seen my children. I go to my ex’s home to give my daughter a birthday present. A stranger opens the door and tells me that they don’t live there.
Okay, now I need to get things right. I hire a lawyer, I track down where my ex lives. The lawyer keeps telling me we can work things out without going to court. It takes 9 months to get a temporary PP in. Finally I get to see my kids. This whole time I haven’t been paying CS payments. I fire my lawyer, take my ex to court on my own and actually won more time with my kids than what my lawyer was fighting for.
It was pretty cool. I am happy to be able to see my kids more regularly. It was every other weekend and every Wednesday. So those weekends I didn’t get to see them, I had to go a whole week without seeing my kids. Forget phone calls, I call everyday but there is either no answer or an excuse from the ex. Now I get to see them 2.5 days ones week, and 3.5 days the next. Not quite what I want but its better.
Now lets get to back child support. I never denied the times that I didn’t pay. I told the judge the truth and was not.. upset or angry about having to pay it back. I would argue that its horrible she was able to take my kids away for so long, and its bad that I have to pay back for that, but okay, I have a responsibility and I need to man up.
But this is what gets me, even though I am currently paying every month my CS and then some, and I am by court order allowed to claim one of my children on my tax return. I cannot claim my child so long as I owe back CS, and I get charged interest on the support.
I am not sweating this, I have some savings and I can take out a loan for the rest. But it’s still criminal. I think of a parent that is paying CS, then they lose thier job and for lets say 3 months can’t pay the CS without getting put out in the street. They get a job, now they start making payment again. Then they think, well I can just get caught up with my income tax, well no, not as much as you could because you owe back CS, on top of that they are charging interest and keeping you in a whole.
They need to change the law. I you are A) less than 6 months behind, or B) more than six months but have paid CS for the entire year you should not get interest and you should be able to claim your child.
This still gives incentive for parents to keep current on CS, but doesn’t penalize parents that are trying and doing what they should be doing.
I commend you for doing right by your kids. They’re lucky you care that much.
You can always file with the court if you lose your job. If you just stop paying and don’t contact the court or even the child support office so there’s a record of you contacting them, the unfortunately you owe back pay. and the interest on that is ridiculous. You can always call the state’s child support office and find out what you owe, heck most of it is online these days.
I just got the biggest kick out of what I did to Child Support Enforcement. I had fallen behind in child support, with just 3 years to go, due to employment (rather, the lack of) in my area. Well, I finally landed a decent job, paid for 5 years. I called the CSE to check my balance…over $50,000! I was only behind $15,000 in actual child support. I went to a local bank, sat down and told the situation and how the interest was growing…never to end. They loaned me the full amount! week later, went to CSE (sad face and all), and said, “I’ll be paying this for the rest of my life before getting caught up snif snif”. The case worker basically said, “Well, that’s the way it goes”. I literally yelled, “PSYCH”! Handed her the total amount, and told her I will wait here until I get my release papers, thank you! You never saw such a sour look on someone’s face in your life! You would’ve thought that I was taking her bonus away at the end of the year. Yes, I have to pay the loan back, but it’ll be cheaper…and I know when it ends! BOOOOYAAA! SLAM DUNK B*****S!!!!!
Craig, you are fortunate that you could resolve it this way. Many men cannot. And, the interest builds up quickly.
Good I’m happy for you I must say it with you slam dunk…..*child support ain’t it may God continue blessing you sir you have a good life
Two people, yes two people, have a child, making them both equally responsible to support the child, as dictated by the courts. The non-custodial parent doesn’t pay CS, for whatever reason, and falls into arrears. Hence, placing the full financial burden of raising the child on the custodial parent, perhaps why so many custodial parent may need welfare and state aid. How can anyone question why they are paying the arrears to the custodial parent? The money belongs to the custodial parent that supported the child while the non-custodial parent failed to uphold his or her obligation to the child. Truly, if you are ordered to pay a certain amount for your child, you should just pay like any parent should, especially if they were still residing together. Instead parents don’t pay, usually for out of spite or to be vindictive, and then cry about it to the world and even worse the child, trying to alienate their affections toward the responsible custodial parent. Enough crying! Pay for your children and you will not be seen as a deadbeat, nor will you be in arrears. If your financial situation changed go to court for a reduction instead of denying your child. It’s that simply! You owe it to the children that you brought into this world. They need their parents support. UGH!!!
I agree with you 100%. I sat in a child support office once and overheard a man, admit to not getting a job so he didn’t have to pay his child’s mother any money. I kept my mouth shut and was “dumbfounded”. It didn’t make any sense. My thought is this, if you believe the custodial parent is misusing the money, then report it. Then seek custody of your child so you can raise the child correctly. Otherwise, pay up.
My child’s father stopped paying child support for 4.5 years. I never complained and encouraged him to see his child, which he did sporadically. Now, our child is 26 and my child’s father wants to travel abroad. Well, he is blocked from getting a passport because he owes $18,000 and guess what?! He wants me to “help him” by contacting CSE and eliminating the debt. Unbelievable. I simply said, “this isn’t my problem, I wish you the best.”
I can’t side with either. I had to work three jobs to care for my two children.
I got nothing and still don’t due to the State Laws. I was glad to do what I did, since
I got to take my children to work and my school at night. The best times of my life and
they remain that way. I had my ex research on his end, but he didn’t anticipate ours.
The children and I didn’t have grief or a interruption after he decided to walk. We just
told him to run and never try and come back. It’s been GREAT.
Dear Dumbfounded…..you dont get it! Not everyone has the same circumstance. You cant just go to court…It costs about $10,ooo. just to have a trial. Many fathers love their children just as much as the mother. Some fathers are broke, they have to pay rent as well. Mother remarries a rich guy. Broke father struggles to pay support. loses his license because he falls behind. Ugh cant drive, cant work. its goes on and on losing battle. Meanwhile, the state continues to charge interest. 90% of the cases should be handled out of court. Anytime HHS gets involved its a disaster. They just follow the lead, right or wrong. Nothing makes sense
Your comments contain yet another side of the issue.
I believe we all should start a grassroots movement to change the system.
I could not agree with you more!!! If the custodial parent loses their job they still have to pay the same bills, still have to pay for childcare, food, clothes etc… those bills dont go away just because they lose their job… so why does the non custodial parent think they can not pay and its ok?
Amy, what’s wrong with 50/50? What’s wrong with you stepping up if the other parent loses their job? What would you do if the other parent dies? Let me ask, if you remarry and you now live in a 3 bedroom house and it’s just you, your husband and your kid, does the mortgage go down when your kid moves out? Does the light bill drastically drop? Do you burn less gas without the child in the car? If you cook 3 meals a day, does the grocery bill drastically drop? It’s no secret that the State forces fathers to pay way more than they should. it’s unfair and you know it. Females are not entitled to their exes earnings after divorce and nobody made you all more loving and nurturing than males. 50/50 is common sense best interest of the child. the Government creates “deadbeats.” They are the cause the majority of the time of children being raised fatherless. Almost 70% of juveniles arrested in the county I live, live in single mother households, yet our almighty government continues to give physical custody to mothers 92% of the time. 7% of juveniles delinquents live in single father households. More kids who are arrested live with “other relatives” or ‘group homes” than those living with their fathers.
Thank You!!! I Agreed….
I sympathize with all the non-custodial parents out there that are being bled dry by the state in the name of child support. I’ve just started a Blog called, thejoyoffamilycourt.com to tell my story and for others to comment or tell their story. It’s un-American and downright wrong. Please visit my Blog and give me some feedback.
My husband was at work one day and was surprised by his ex-wife, that he was only married to for 3 months, and his son that he never even knew about. He was 16 when he met him for the first time. She showed up to let him know that she was filling for child support. To make a long story short, we had to pay 8 years of back child support and know were having to pay off the interest that the state was charging us. I just don’t think its fair that a mother should be able to wait 16 yrs to file for child support especially when the father doesn’t even know about the child. The father and the child are both cheated out of having any relationship with each other. There should be a law passed that the mother should only have 1 yr to come back and get child support. If they don’t need help in that first year or less then its not right for them to get any help at all. If any one out there has a petition out there that they want me to sign to get the laws changed, I’m interested in signing it, cause something needs to be done about the child support laws in OKLAHOMA!!!
Your situation is very unfortunate and I agree, she shouldn’t be able to file for child support since your husband didn’t know about the child. But to say a woman shouldn’t be able to file child support after the first year is illogical.
What if a woman has a child (and the father knows about the child) and she doesn’t want to file for support. But, when the child is 10 years old, the mother looses her job and needs help. She should be able to file for support and not get past support, but begin a current request. This seems reasonable.
Hi our story is exactly the same and we are fighting it- if the mother does not want to share with the father that he is a ‘father’ (within a short period) then no child support should be forced upon him. Give a man a break and let him bind and help as he chooses, the mother neglected telling him, why show up years later (selfish)-My husband would have never had another child if he knew about the first one. He now has to bond with children who are adults and who’s mothers have crippled him emotionally and financially. He honoured his financial obligations and would have been a great dad but this woman (who was never even a girlfriend) has nearly ruined another humans life cause of her own selfish chooses- if a woman can choose to abort, then give a man a choice to be a dad or not (equal rights crap) joke!!- One was even with another man at the time and had an affair with my husband making him believe she was single, then bam!! 1Years later she shows up with a child (there is s name for these type of woman!) If anyone know of lawyers who can fight and win a child support disaster system please reach out..?!?! All our child are grown and some married – it was these mothers choices to turn up years later- so no payment should be the case!! Joke
Maybe it would be better to have federal guidelines and have all the states follow them. In other states, the custodial parent can only ask the courts for retroactive child support for 2 years.
I think the case can be made that you were never informed that his child existed, and were thereby cheated out of helping raise him. Get a good attorney, and I wish you luck with the case.
* this child
And Helen Blanton Allen, you need to fix your math. Your poor granddaughter’s mother shelled out to make up what your terrible deadbeat son tried to get out of paying. He owes her the money back. That was real money that she had to spend because your terrible son didn’t take care of his responsibilities. Now you’re right, he’s going to pay till he pays her back what she LENT him, unwillingly.
Stop making excuses for your terrible son.
Thank you. Applause.
New York child support is the worse out of all,last year I received a noticed stated I owned an additional 1,500.00 interest due to the fact that they didn’t receive any payments for 3 months mind you Every other week they garnished the money out of my check,when I called and asked questions they told me to talk to my employer I talked to my employer they told me yes money been send to child support every pay period,come to find out the company processing the payment for child support had a problem with their system money couldn’t go out to child support,but New York child support knew about the problem why they tried to scam me out of $1,500.00 knowing that the problem was in their part not me,I was force to pay a lawyer $700.00 to help resolve the issue, so my advise to anyone who is paying child support is always call and ask what are you paying cause child support have this hidden fees that we don’t know about its all a bisness,also I was still paying child care for a 16 years old but when I went to court and ask the judge to give me credit for the 4 years of paying child care she flat out said no,so,people be mindful and always go over your child support order.
California also is the worse when it comes to child support.
Why do they charge interest?????? Thought the money was to raise a minor child? Its not a credit card.
Because once the government becomes involved, there comes a separate entity or company that has to mediate, if you will, or manage and enforce those payments. That costs money. A third party is now involved. That third party has to be paid for managing your responsibilities.
my husband has to pay for a child that’s not his (fact) but name is on bc so its ok for wife to cheat and he gets punished now i have 7000 principle and 15000 interest that is bs it will never get pd off got into accident became disabled have no income and there want to put me in jail for not paying all because i didn’t want her to have an abortion like she wanted i wish i would have known then what i no now i would have let her have one she had 2 more kids she is married has a illeagel bf and she still wont dismiss it and i think there giving the wife the ok to commit adultery how can they make you pay for a child thats not your how is that fair when a judge don’t care
If a person takes on the role of parent to a child, even if the child is not biologically theirs, they remain the parent unless they or the state terminate their parental rights. (And you can’t just terminate your rights to avoid paying child support!)
So, if you were in the role of parent before the divorce, you still retain the rights and obligations of a parent. Shoulder your obligations and exercise your rights. Do your best to be there for the child, however difficult the relationship with the ex. Believe me, your being there for the child means more to that child than you will ever know.
Amen! God Bless You.
can a mom get back child support on a 13 almost 14 year old. when she doesnt have a child support order set up or ordered by a court yet he has been paying child support set by her since they agreed no longer to be a couple never married. he pays for half of what the child needs when asked to pay and since its all by cash no written agreement can that be used as just a gift
First mistake is paying in cash. All of his payments should be in check or a money order and he should keep very clear records on what he is contributing. If she files for support, he has record that he has contributed which should work in his favor of not having to pay back support. These are not gifts, they are support. NO CASH! CHECKS OR MONEY ORDERS.
Here’s a Scenario for you.
Thankfully has not occurred to me.
Let’s say you brake up with a girl and not know she is pregnant, does not inform you, so you don’t know.
After lets say the child turns 18 years and finally convinces the mother to go after the CS. How is that FAIR on any father? A Father that knows he has had a child should be expected to pay CS but a father that has no documented proof or knowledge of the event occurring beside banging some chick ages ago.
The way i see it is if the Parent of the child wanting to collect CS does not notify by any means documented that the father had a child then that father does not have to pay.
Equal ownership to the problem is required not a one way street.
also if the mother divorces and re-marries then the CS should stop as that punishes one person yet benefits the other too much. Maybe a revised payment or direct to the children.
The whole, why does the custodial parent get arrears and not the child or why, now that I have custody, do I still own arrears is stupid.
Look at it this way:
You own money to X to pay your part of bill Y. You don’t pay. She pays bill Y with her own money. She has now GIVEN YOU A LOAN. If she can’t pay the bill and uses public assistance to pay, you still own the money as you are still responsible for paying part of bill Y and when you don’t pay you are getting a loan as someone else pay your part for you. If the state pays your part to her on your behalf, you owe arrears to the State. If her PA was established when you were paying and she didn’t have it modified when you stopped you owe her for the loan and the arrears go to her.
Make sense now?
My son has been paying back child support for years. TheTexas Atty General, years ago, made my son to pay $36,000 to his girlfriend, who was married when the child was born. She claimed my son was the father. To make a long story short. My son’s daughter, age 24, was killed on Jan 1, 2015 this New Years Day in Houston. My son went down to the Child Support Division in Victoria, Texas and they gave him a print out showing he had paid the amount ordered in full. It showed he was not in arrears. The mother is remarried and is still getting half of my son’s checks, even his unemployment checks. He lost his job last month and found a day labor job making $9/hr for one day. When he got his check, he had $40. $60 was sent to the mother of his deceased daughter. Now Child Support Division says he’s to pay an additional $46,000. How does he get this stopped? He paid her every cent that he was ordered to pay and now he has to pay more? His daughter is dead. He is so depressed right now he’s ready to just give up. He told me he’ll be paying Mary Alice for the rest of his life. When I went to the funeral, I noticed that his daughter did not look anything like my son. Her two sisters and her looked like they could pass for triplets’. I believe after seeing this young woman in her coffin, that she was not my son’s daughter. How does my son get this stopped? Thank you.
First of all, your son should have gotten a DNA test. To not get one is irresponsible. This could have/would have resolved everything. Secondly, it is clear you don’t consider this young woman, dead or alive your grandchild, because you never call her your grandchild which shows a lack of feelings. And, it sounds like your son is paying back support/arrears. Which adds up. Sounds like your son needs to go to court and get a DNA test on her. Find her hair in a brush or something. Good luck.
This is better than reality t.v.
“My ex is a b….”
It’s Obama’s fault…”
Arrears are the result of falling behind on current child support orders due. Like with any loan or line of credit, if you fall behind there will be penalties and interest. If you want to avoid paying off the debt until the day you retire, stay current on the existing child support orders.
MLara – after reading your post I don’t understand how $65 can be enough /that wont even cover a doctors visit but everyone’s financial situation is different.perhaps you’re in a better financial situation than some of the mothers that Have commented on here about the arrears that are owed to them and if I needed the Money that is owed to me maybe I would be a little more bitter about being owed $85,000.as it is my husband and I struggled /got our child graduated and into college and are helping her financially still. The biological donor never paid a dime/but he missed out on a lot of other things -he never saw first day of kindergarten -a softball game -her in her prom dresses -graduation day -her college entrance- so he’s lost more by not providing financially or emotionally to this wonderful person that is my daughter.
I find these statements frightening / regardless it is you’re responsible to pay your child support on time. If you don’t pay your payments on time interests is incurred. If your child graduates and becomes an adult that money is still owed to the parent who took care -supported emotionally and financially all those years you decided not to, you’re still obligated .My ex has Dodged paying child support for 17 years and is in arrears of close to $85,000. Now ,not all women support their dealer boyfriend or alcohol or whatever you were saying ,sometimes A woman works two jobs and struggles to support their child by themselves with no help but only A prayer every day .Sometimes a MAN – a real man ,comes into their life and helps provide and loves and gives of time and self for children that are not biologically his but by doing so they become emotionally his forever. If the man who has been dodging me all this time contacted me and asked – I would wipe the arrears because her real father raised her /the man who coached softball/ kissed boo-boos/ went to every school function threw birthday parties /listened to her losses & cheered her victories: took summer trips / that is her dad. And if the guy would just stop running and acknowledge that he no parent and never was it could all be over. Maybe someday he’ll stop running and realize I really don’t care /none of us really care.
And the reason I’m here reading this is not because I want child-support but I did have a question on how to handle it when after all this time I’ve received paperwork that they put in IWN in place because apparently he finally decided to get a job and I don’t want his money.
How do I stop the interest accumulating on Child Support Arrears? I am making payments but and still getting farther behind. No progress even though I pay 50% of my paychecks for support.
I have paid child support for roughly 14 years and I got behind at one point due to circumstances beyond my control, which was roughly around year 6 or 7. I was behind 2,000 but the total ended up being 4,000. 2,000 in support and 2,000 in fees which did not got to my ex, it went to a corrupt system that was established by Hilary Clinton, who intern was being cheated on by her wonderful husband. So I am not surprised that there is little compassion for the non-custodial parent!!!!!
I have to say every situation is different. As a woman I can see the system is broken. I have two different perspectives.
1. My dad left my mother in the worst possible situation. He had been cheating. We lived in TX. My mother was in a bad accident and got a settlement and used the money to put him through school. They decided he had a better chance at making more $ with an education than she did. He finished school while she worked as well, and all said and done they decided to move to California where he could get a better job. His elaborate plan included going to CA first to secure said job and housing, at which time he would send for us. Finally he called my mother and told her he was set with a great job and house. Sell everything (they rented in TX) so clothes, furniture, etc. We would be getting all new things. Send him the money and he will send plane tickets. Which she did and while she was waiting for the plane tickets he was clearing the accounts. He got the money and called her to let her know he “didn’t want to be married anymore”. Leaving my mom, brother and I virtually homeless and moneyless. Locating him in a different state was a challenge and it took years for her to get a divorce and child support order as one attorney general contacted another. What a heartless a$$. He should be made to pay. No doubt we struggled. We were poor. Very poor, my entire childhood, but we survived and I am stronger for it. My brother and I are both adults and the courts contacted my mom about settling the thousands and thousands owed in support. Which she did and good for her. I had kind of wished to see some of it, to maybe pay off some school loans, but I didn’t and I’m not mad about it.
2. My husband had a child with a girlfriend (before we knew each other) when he was 18. He quit school to support his new family. Worked several jobs at once, and bought a house, two cars, and fully supported his girlfriend and child, so she could stay home with the baby. He worked his rear off for both of them and was only home to sleep. When he started moving up at one job he was able to leave the other and could be home more. During this time he realized that his girlfriend was not exactly maturing into her role as a mother. She often dropped off the child with grandma and partied and was spending more time and money running the roads than playing house wife. This led to arguing and an eventual breakup when the kiddo was 3 years old. Now we were friends during this time and let me tell you, I would not, especially considering my past experience be friends or ever dream of getting involved with a deadbeat dad. He paid her 20% of his pay from the time they split, without an order. He bought clothes, toys, food, paid for daycare as well so she could find work. She of course started using the kid as a tool for what she wanted and even admitted to using the money for pot. She went the attorney general when the child was 5 and was able to get back pay to birth with interest. The only amounts they would remove were checks that said “child support” in the notes, when he often gave her cash and fully 100% supported the child and her for 3 years. Huge back pay. To make matters worse she would often disappear with the kid or move unannounced. He still paid until he got into a massive car accident with an uninsured drunk driver and lost his job. It took a lot of time for him to get back on his feet and he had to change his line of work due to injuries. Where was our support. We had two kids, but we were married so, in it together for better or worse right… Not that he was making millions as it was, but was he a deadbeat to me and our kids? Hell no, of course not. Was he to her and her son? Oh you bet, money or you are $hit. Fast forward to now. He owes around $10,000 in support. We have 2 elementary age children together and he is still diligently paying back pay on an 18 year old. My income tax return which helps us support our 2 children goes to her for one that is grown. She also has 2 other children with another man who she never married and was supported by welfare and then married a 3rd man. Living nicely, collecting support from 2 different dads and married to another man.
My point? Custody and support is not a one size fits all and it really should not be treated that way. Not all men that owe are deadbeats. Not all mothers have the best interest of the child. I honestly believe if someone has to prove support, the other party should have to provide receipts for the spending. Period. The government should get out of it. I had kids, I can support them. If I get involved with a man that doesn’t give a sh*t about supporting his kids, that sucks, but I would do what it takes to support them, like my mother did and you know what, that should be the dad’s loss. Some men are men some are snakes. Some women are women some are snakes. Do your best to pick a partner. Moms don’t use your kids as a paycheck. Dads don’t treat your kids like they didn’t happen. Government get out of the equation.
Agree, some men and men and take care of there responsibility pay for the deadbeat dads. We have women that fight for there children and make it and the other use the government and the child to have an easy life.
Wow. Hope things turn out all right in the end.
By the way, if anyone gets into a situation where the IRS is taking the entire refund from a joint tax return, where both husband and wife earn income, but the debt is specifically attached to only one spouse (as in the case of child support), there is something called ‘injured spouse relief’ where you can petition the IRS to determine what percentage of the family income is directly attributed to the debtor spouse, so at least part of the family tax refund remains to be refunded.
In the post above, perhaps they decided to use their entire refund to pay off her husband’s debt, but if they just had it all taken by the IRS, the injured spouse rule might have been used to give them some relief.
You can look up ‘Injured Spouse Relief’ at IRS.gov for more information.
My question is if this truly is ‘child support’, then why isn’t the [now adult] CHILD receiving the money?
From a fairness perspective, why are non-custodial parents required to reimburse the state for welfare that benefits BOTH the child’s mother and the child, which is actually Undifferentiated Family Support (a mixture of alimony and child support)?
Then again, ‘child support’ is no longer about the parents providing for the children’s needs.
It’s about increasing the gross amount of money collected by the state in order to increase the federal reimbursements the state receives under the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act.
See this report for documtation (http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf) and this website for an alternative (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm).
When a man pays child support the money:
1) goes to the custodial parent to help them provide for the child. Shelter, food, clothing, etc. Depending on the amount paid/received, the shared costs of providing for the child may be 50/50 or 60/40 or 70/30, etc with the custodial parent providing for more. (This was my case. I live in LA and my child’s father only paid $300/mo and it cost much more to provide for our child especially since she went to private school, yet I never complained.)
When the non-custodial parent does not pay child support:
2) the custodial parent pays 100% for everything.
When the child becomes an adult and the non-custodial parent pays back child support and arrears:
3) you are repaying the custodial parent for providing 100% for your child which you should have been paying for when they were 0-18 years of age. So no, the money should not and does not go to the 19+ year old adult child.
Child support and arrears are only seen as punishment and torture to men who choose not to provide for their children. if the custodial parent made the same excuses the non-custodial parent makes, she and the child would be homeless and she’d be seen as a horrible mother.
Shameful excuses some fathers make. Note: I wrote, “some”.
My children father owes me 34,000 in arrears. He only pays 86.00 a month toward it. How can i get it raised. He is on disability. I do not know if its SSi or what. Kids are grown. He never worked a job..just the system
If the man is on disability, why would you want it raised. It is just a messed up situation. The dude will never pay it off. He’d have to take out a loan.
How is that her problem? He didn’t care how or if the kids were fed and clothed!
My children father owes me 34,000 in arrears. He only pays 86.00 a month toward it. How ccan i geet it raised. He is on disability. I do not know if its SSi or what. Kids are grown. He never worked a job..just the system
IT”S ONLY MONEY!
I had my children late in my life, I was already in my early fifties when the youngest was born. I am now in my early sixties and my youngest is in her early teens. By the time she is 22 years of age I will be in my early seventies. After 9/11 I fell behind in my child support due to loss of employment. But the fact is that “it is only money” being far away from that human wreck that is the custodial mother(ex-wife) and living and enjoying my life free of the horror that only some women are able inflict is worth every dime that I pay in child support and any arrears that I have accrued. When I ride my Harley(that I had to give up when we married) to this horror of a human beings house to see my teenage daughter and she climbs on the back of the bike to go get some ice cream. I just cant stop smiling!!! Realizing that I will most likely die of old age before she sees all of the arrears money, its all I can do from laughing out loud.
So guys “IT”S ONLY MONEY”
Why do I like your post so much?!
Newsflash: this policy was in place LONG before Obama entered the picture. It would be so nice to have one, just one, online discussion without someone throwing their personal political opinions into the mix. What Obama has to do with this conversation, I do not know. What I do know is that you sound ridiculous, like the character of Walter Sobchak in “The Big Lebowski” relating everything that happened in his life to when he was in Vietnam.
Wow!! Child Support is a major problem that needs addressed!
I am a dad myself. My EX and I divorced after five years of marriage, (a divorce she wanted). At the time of divorce, we had two children. When we split, I had remained in the home with our kids. She temporarily moved in with her parents.
At the time I was pending a SSD decision for disability. (Later, I lost the home having no way to pay with the 300.00 a month the state granted me to live on during SSD decision). I needed someone to watch my kids while i talked to an attorney so took them to my parents for the day. (They had just moved the month prior). When I arrived to pick them up and head back home the police where there.
She had filed an order of protection citing that the kids were in danger and I wouldn’t let her see them and she didn’t know where they were. I however had never prevented her from seeing the kids at any time and they never were in danger! My only request was that she visit our kids in their current home, with supervision, until a court had made judgment. (I didn’t want her fleeing the state or country with our kids and this was the home she left!). In the meantime, I was looking into hiring legal counsel.
LIke I said, The police showed up at my parents while I was gone and took our children in as wards of the state. They may have arrested me if it were not for a neighboring relative. I was in his vehicle at the time coming from seeing a lawyer myself! I slammed the lock home on the door of the car when the officer reached for the latch (stating that he was only trying to help me)! I had done nothing wrong however and wasn’t about to be taken into custody myself on bogus charges. The simple fact was that my EX had beat me to the punch and used a dirty trick to get immediate temporary custody of our children. My ex had used deceptive suppositions and blatant lies to have the children taken in as emergency wards. They police left with my mom and my kids, thankfully no charges were ever attached.
A few weeks later, EX was awarded primary custody. My attorney had just moved to Utah and 911 had just happened. The judge had wanted another day to deliberate, but my attorney said he had to leave to drive back to Utah as he couldn’t fly as the planes were grounded. The judge was forced to deliberate without hearing the rest of my testimony and supporting evidence. It ended up that I was granted visitation rights and the judge entered the child support payments at $25.00 per child based on the fact I had relatively NO income.
I tried to keep the home, The ex filed a quit claim, but I had to let it go to auction and ended up moving in with my own parents.
Several years later, i was awarded full Disability, yet I kept being billed every month for child support from the state. Thankfully my parents had insisted on paying the $900.00 I had accrued in arrears and I was able to make regular payments from then on out and even pay them back.
I tried to get social security to look into getting my children the entitlements for dependants, but they told me that was something my EX had to ask for. So, I told her about it, but she wouldn’t listen. She didn’t do anything about it, so I kept paying the $50.00 each month. Then, about 8 years later I got a notice in the mail that I would no longer have to pay child support as the children were now receiving SSD child entitlements. These entitlements are separate from my own SSD disbursements so they do NOT affect my income. Each of my children NOW are receiving $260.00 each a month!
Why my EX didn’t do this sooner is beyond me. I can only supposition that in her mind, she was trying to make me suffer, but someone must have shown her her folly.
So, to sum it up. I am Disabled on Social Security. My income is not affected. My children receive $210.00 more each month PER CHILD than my child support obligation. I still visit with at least one on a regular basis and he has even lived with me for a time where I was the one receiving the entitlement as his rep payee.. The other has a child of her own (my first grandson). My son is 17 and my daughter is 19, but she is still attending school. Entitlements end at 18 unless the child remains in school or on certain other conditions until age 21 at which time all entitlements end regardless.
I am very thankful that things have worked out as they have. I can’t imagine paying huge sums of money for child support or having arrears that have interest that make the obligee a debtor for life. While it is hard not to have had the opportunity to raise my children the way I or God intended, I am grateful for the little bit of time and its impact I was able to have on their lives over the years.
NOW. Here is what I think about child support. If a parent can’t make it on their own without the aid of another, then they DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE THOSE CHILDREN.
There are tons of single parents who raise their children WITHOUT any type of financial help from another adult or even state or government handouts. Child support is nothing but a way to stick it to someone else with the guise of benefiting the kids. If you can’t raise your kids without a handout, then give them to someone else who can. I know lots of people who if they had their kids instead of the EX, the kids would be better off, the EX would be better off and everyone else would too. There are lots of parents who don’t have custody of their kids who would if they had them NOT WORRY ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT. THEY WOULD SUPPORT THE KIDS AND TELL CHILD SUPPORT TO TAKE A HIKE.
Child support is NOT necessary to raise a child. The only thing necessary is a parent that has enough morels to take responsibility for the choice to be that child’s guardian. Part of that choice is realizing that you have every day with that child when someone else does NOT.
HAVING A CHILD AND GETTING CHILD SUPPORT IS HAVING YOUR CAKE AND EATING IT TOO.
There are way too many people who have custody of their children and want other people to pay. This needs to end. I think that in cases where a person is granted primary custody, one of the FIRST THINGS A JUDGE SHOULD CONSIDER IN AWARDING CUSTODY IS IF THE CUSTODIAL PARENT WILL RAISE THAT CHILD WITHOUT CHILD SUPPORT FROM THE OTHER PARENT. IF BOTH PARENTS ARE EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE AND ABLE TO BE A PRIMARY CUSTODIAN, THE JUDGE SHOULD AWARD CUSTODY TO THE PARENT THAT DOESN’T WANT OR NEED SUPPORT TO RAISE THE KIDS. Then, the judge should issue a flat support of no more than $25.00 per child per month, of up to 4 children max regardless of income level of the non custodial parent making under $50,000.00 per year. The max any non custodial parent will have to pay is 100.00 per month TOTAL.
I see lots of parents who get child support. In most instances, $25.00 is more than those children typically have spent on them monthly for ALL types of expenditure. The custodial parent typically would be paying for many of those services NEARLY EQUALLY anyways even without a child!
The law says that you only have to feed, clothe and shelter your child. IT DOES NOT SAY IT HAS TO BE GOOD FOOD, DESIGNER CLOTHES OR A 6 BEDROOM HOME!
Child Custody is a racket that needs to end. It causes far more damage to people than it solves. It makes CUSTODIAL PARENTS feel entitled when in fact the only entitlement they have is to take responsibility for being awarded custody and be happy that they have the kids in their life every day. That should be payment enough.
IN FACT, CUSTODIAL PARENTS SHOULD BE PAYING THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT FOR THE HURT AND LOSS OF DAILY INTERACTION WITH LOVED ONES AND FOR THEM HAVING THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING ABLE TO RAISE THAT CHILD AS THEY SEE FIT. NOR SHOULD THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYING FOR A CHILD THEY DON’T HAVE A SAY ON HOW THEY ARE RAISED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THOSE DECISIONS INCUR COSTS THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT DOESN’T HAVE A SAY IN!
YOU HAVE A CHILD…..WANT THEM TO TAKE PIANO LESSONS, JUDO, BALLET? THE OTHER PARENT SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT, BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE A VOICE. THAT SHOULD BE THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE CUSTODIAL PARENT. IN FACT ANYTHING ABOVE BASIC FOOD, CLOTHES AND SHELTER SHOULD NEVER BE A NON CUSTODIAL PARENTS FINANCIAL OBLIGATION.
NOPE. Child support should be $25.00 per month per child, up to 4 children, period, for anyone making less than $50,000.00 per year. $50.00 per month per child up to 6 children for anyone making over $100,ooo.oo per year. Thats it. END OF STORY. Everything else the custodial parent should FIND THEY ARE privileged to cover by the simple fact that they get to see their kids on a daily basis, make decisions for them and raise them as they see fit while the non custodial parent doesn’t.
CHILD SUPPORT NEEDS TO BE A MORAL DECISION, BUT NOT ONE THAT LEAVES THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT WANTING TO STICK A GUN IN THEIR MOUTH AND PULL THE TRIGGER.
Any parent who wants to have children and then changes his or her mind later, sticking the former partner with the entire burden is having his or her cake and eating it, too.
The state awards child support to ensure that the children have the financial support to afford them opportunities that they would have had in a two-parent home. That’s all there is to it.
Child support is not to be construed as a way to ‘get back’ at the former partner; nor is visitation.
excuse my typo. Art hadn’t seen his children in almost 30 years not 50.
Funny I hear a bunch of females (not women) on here calling dudes “dead beats.” So what happens when a spiteful chic takes a dude down to the courthouse and ask for support for the child and does nothing with the money to support the child? What happens when she has 2 more kids from another dude and is using the payments to support her 2 new kids? Is that fair to my child? See, I’m not in the arrears thank God. But all you females sitting around trying to punish the “LOSER” please do real MEN a favor and stop opening your damn legs to a LOSER. Lay down with a dog and you’re gonna wake up with fleas. If he is a loser then so are you for sleeping with him……
How funny I just read this post and we both had the same “female” comment…lol…I swear I didn’t steal that from you. I skipped the last few comments because I was getting so mad.
Oh my god, an intelligent woman who get’s it. Much thx and well said.
My wife left the house 17 years ago with my 5 year old son. She never notified me where they were. About 4 years ago I was hit with a garnishment of wages. Was never notified of a court date. Was not able to defend myself and was told I had to pay $1400 a month. is that legal? what can I do about that?
My credit report says my child support case has been closed. I am sure this is due to the fact that the child was moved from OK to TN over the summer. Will I still owe that amount? Will it be transferred over to TN? What will happen next?
CAN I GET MY TAXES BACK IF MY CHILD LEAVES WITH ME AND IM OFF CHILD SUPPORT NOW AND I HAVE CUSTODIAL RIGHT AS OF NOW
I have two grown sons 22 & 24 .There father owes over 37,000 in arrears. He is currently unemployed and paying $111. From his unemployment. He has filed a motion to stop paying due to our sons being adults and living on there own. I received the certified letter to appear at a hearing. I’m working part-time and I’m also married now. I’m missing work to appear at this hearing. Will the court rule in his favor.
I don’t believe so. The arrears is not for current child support but for back child support. he has to pay that.
Can you update us as to what happened?
Ha ha ha the system sucks, my support went from 1200 to 2000 a month, then I lost my job, the state is refusing to modify my order and expects me to find another job that paid as good as my last one, I’ve been forced to only apply for jobs that pay a similar amount…. needless to say I’ve applied for 300 jobs in 5 months and have had no luck, I can’t even afford to move if I got one of those jobs….. well with interest and arrears my debt compiled to more in 5 months than I’ve paid in 14 years. I also have students loans as well, when you add everything up plus taxes I was left with 20% of my income, and that was not including student loan payments or rent. The only option in this scenario is an all to cold one 1)the state works with you within reason 2)you are incarcerated 3)take your own life…. Currently I have a lean on a bank account with a negative balance, a license suspension, and threats of non payment and violating a court order leading to incarceration. Taking my own future into count and looking at this in a logical manner, balancing pros and cons, I’m opting for jail time, I’m homeless, living on assistance, and refusal by the DA to modify my order because of a change in circumstances. Did I mention that my child doesn’t live with her mother, yeah that would be an automatic warning for modification. If nothing happens, and nothing changes I will be spending a large amount of time in jail, after I’ve depleted a large amount of state funding for real criminals I’ll write a letter to everyone of my elected officials and throw a rope over a branch! Screw this world and screw this crazy machine that doesn’t factor any sense of logic into the equation!
I understand your hurt and frustration
Please know when all of us parents are abused and our careers and lifes are made to no effect that things have to change.
I want to start a grassroots movement to change this system.
I am disabled recieving Social Security Disability and my 2 grown sons who are in their 30’s have taken me to court to have my disability check garnished to get child support. The judge gave them favor and called them minor adults ruling 360.00 a month. I thouhgt i would only be liable to pay arrears this is a case from 1994 their mother filed but now is deceased . My 2 sons want nothing to do with me but make my life miserable. I need help in putting a stop to this.
They can’t garnish SSI checks cuz it’s a Federal Check by law.
Arrears not wanted
My kids are grown and no longer care about the child support payments. Is their a way the payments can be stopped if they kids asked them to be?
Your “arrears” are owed to your ex not your children. Your ex is the one who shelled out the money when obviously YOU weren’t paying. Your children’s opinions has no bearing on this subject.
Thank you, Paul.
Why are you on this website?
The people here are dealing with a broken system.
We need a movement to change the system
My home should be mine!!
Been married to my husband 27 years and have 3 boys ages 22, 18 and 14. Hubby was married less than 2 years which produced 2 children who are in their 30’s. Hubby pays arrears that come out of his monthly disability check which I don’t have a problem with. My problem is there is a state enforced child support lien on our home, which we own! We bought it with cash years ago. If my husband and I would die in a car wreck, who gets our home and property? Our kids or his kids? I mean it infuriates me that there is this lien on MY property!!!! I never hear anything about spouses like me out there!
I am on Disability, Federal, not State. My support payment was $25.00 per child per month for two children.
The $50.oo per month was my obligation prior to my receiving Disability. Once i was awarded SSD, my children became entitled to monthly entitlement payments on my earnings record. Thier mom however wouldn’t sign them up even after I notified her. so I kept paying the $50.00 each month out of pocket.
Many YEARS (about 8) went by and then one day i got a letter telling me that I no longer owed child support. It turns out she finally did sign them up and each child now receives almost 300.00 each per month. Their entitlement on my earning record ends at age 18 or may continue for other reasons such as school in which case it will end at the age of 21. So they can receive benefits up to age 21 as long as certain conditions are being met.
The child entitlements do not affect my own monthly award, but are in addition to that.
I don’t know if this can help you as your circumstance is for arrears…….but others may find this helpful to them if their situation is similar to mine.
Why does the state make a man a slave to child support, and then call him dead beat, when his rights as a human are denied? I don’t agree with the state, that is making child support a business that they are benefiting from from, we need to stand up against this! After the children are grown and have children up their own,and they treat you like you owe them something. Wouldn’t this be considered as EXTORTION.
Your human rights are to pay for the child that YOU helped bring into this world. You are being denied nothing. If you paid your child support when they were kids, this would not be an issue. Grow up and be a man. You are simply reimbursing the custodial parent that picked up the slack because you probably didn’t want to pay, and most likely struggled to provide for him/her without your help. JUST because your child is 18 now, you think you are washed free from all the years that you were a deadbeat? And yes, you sound and act like a deadbeat. If the shoe fits..
thank you, Paul.
Once again why are you here on this site? Making rude comments to people who are seeking answers to the broken system.
Please if you are a judge identify yourself as such “Paul”.
You have made vicious comments to anyone you feel isn’t taking responsibility your minds way.
I want to start a grassroots movement to end this broken sysrem!
My full name is by my comments and I’m open to solutions not name calling or attitude at people with real life problems.
Th child support system is sad 14 years raising my daughters as the sole provider to have my ex at home in bed with another man when I came home mid day once. Not only that but a stranger man with my teen daughters at home. I filed for divorce and custody I requested she move out.
How did this work out, had to sell the house, she ended up getting custody moved in with her grand parents I’m being garnished 1192 of my 2700 net income for child support, another 299 for medical/dental/vision maintenance so even know I’m in the right I get the shaft and have to live in 1200 a month for 5 more years renting a room and counting the days where I can save for a housevto start over what a waste.
Hard Working Mom
I’ve gone to college while raising my sons and working two jobs. I paid for rent, utilities, clothing, food, medicine, activities, child care, etc… I was up with sick, cuddling with sad, and celebrating the awesome. If the only thing a parent has to do is pay a small portion of the cost and can’t keep up, then guess what; you owe them until you pay them your “fair” share!
Good on you, hard working mom! Good post!
I am amazed at how many non custodial parents think they shouldn’t have to pay child support or arrearages. Did you have them children?? Honestly, I am one of those women that raised my three children on my own until I met their stepfather. The sperm donor went on about his business and actually had 6 more kids. I am so sick of hearing poor me has to pay 200 and something a month! How much do you think it takes to raise a child?? Hell that doesn’t even begin to cover anything. School lunches, clothes, activities and so on. Count yourself lucky you are getting away with only paying that much. BTW, that is based on a minimum wage job so surely you can do that. Every person that has to pay child support cries the system sucks, they just want my money… HELLO… no your money is going to pay for YOUR child or children!! Stop whining, get off your butt and pay what you should pay!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a payer the system sucks I can say that I do any n Every thing for my when ex leave things happen one yr with out a job n now working n o them my life n only caused I wasn’t working I still had to take care of my kid that’s life ones they here there ur kids for life they didn’t ask to b here
I need advise. My dad has been paying arrears forever. My mom died two and a half years ago and he told me he was still paying. When I asked my moms widower about it, he said that he never sent a death certificate to stop the payments. He has over $8000.00 of my dads money. What can be done?
Get a copy of the death certificate and turn it in.
Yep. And then keep on the state to get that money back. Contact a local TV news station and ask to speak with their consumer advocate. If you apply enough pressure, the wheels of justice will turn.
Getting screwed by the state
I had paid my child support for 8 10 yrs of $1259.00 a month for 3 kids i got fired from my job and can’t find work and tried to lower my income… The dcs says i should be able to find a job and still wants me to pay 290 a month. But before they changed it , it has built up to 14,590 something… And is still continuing to grow… They want to take everything they can to punish me even tho i have been looking for work and have been on interviews… They don’t care… It’s all about their money…
If you have been screwed by dcs or the court please email me at. FathersHaveRights@yahoo.com
Let’s try and change the system.
Let’s look at the situation a bit differently…If ANY parent loses a job, the family responsibilities don’t just disappear, do they? If you don’t pay your bills, they don’t just go away, do they? So, child support is just like any other monthly obligation.
Upset father did have his monthly child support obligation reduced, which must have been a great relief to him, but the arrearages must be paid, as it would have to be for any other debt. The difference is only that child support obligations cannot be removed through filing a bankruptcy or through a write-off.
Donna, if the custodial parent loses a job what would they do? Would they be able to continue to live at the same standard of living? Would they go to jail for willful nonsupport if they weren’t making a certain amount of money or proving that they spent a certain amount of money on basic living expenses? They shouldn’t, but that’s what happens to parents who have to send a set payment every week regardless of what happens in their life (lay-offs, illness, etc.) Why should a non custodial parent live at a much lower standard of living than the custodial parent and kids WHILE PAYING SUPPORT and STILL face punishment of losing license and going to jail because it’s not a certain “amount”?
I am paying arrears for a daughter who is married and has children of her own because I had a son that died when 7 years old and when I finally got my head straight after his death I went to child support about the amount of child support I was paying and they said the original order was written for 2 children and that is what I was ordered to pay. Not only that I thought we had 3 children before the court order(and I was paying for three) to find out that one was not even mine. I never was reimbursed for that amount either. But I’m still paying for a child that died in 1997. I had a period I was sick and had no job. My back was broken and that’s how the arrears came about. So tell me how to handle this situation.
This is not about having a child who died nor an adult child. This is about paying back/reimbursing the custodial parent for raising children on her own without your support. You are simply paying her back for all she did by herself. So, you will pay. It is simple.
It is like taking out a loan. You get a loan for $10,000 to buy plants for your garden. The garden is beautiful. One day, you break your leg and cannot work in the garden. The plants die. You still owe the bank $10,000. It doesn’t matter that the plants are dead. It doesn’t matter that you moved and no longer own the plants. You owe the bank $10,000. You must pay.
I cannot believe the nonsense I’m seeing on here. Basically, you think you can not pay the custodial parent then when the child turns 18, you STILL don’t have to pay? Well, when exactly do you have to support your child? This is really pathetic. First of all, your debt does NOT stop until it’s paid. Period. Just like a mortgage, rent, car payment and student loans. Second of all, the NCP had to compensate for your lack of support for years, therefore you owe the money to her/him not the child. If you were so concerned about money going directly to your child, you should have been sending money when the child was younger. Your issue isn’t where the money is going, it’s the fact that you actually have to pay it. As for everyone that’s complaining about the children living with them and still having to pay, the very moment the family dynamic changed, you should have went to the court and modified the order. Really nobody’s fault but your own. And FYI, Child Support Enforcement collects a fee FROM THE CUSTODIAL PARENT every year, in VA it’s only $30. Which is a small price to pay for the services they have to provide because a lot of men won’t pay any other way. Whats even more sad is that the deadbeat parents make it hard for the guys that are really being taken advantage of. It’s hard to distinguish between the two. No, CS doesn’t work for everyone and like any system, it has its flaws and people that take advantage. But if every man/woman would take care of their children without being told to and every NCP would do the right thing, there’s be no need for it. And also to the girl that commented that her child gets $65 a month and she doesn’t care about anything else, either you’re working very hard to take care of your child which is great but the father should work just as hard. Or more likely, we’re all making up for the father’s lack of support with the food stamps, checks and assistance that comes from our taxes. And for the girlfriends/spouses of the deadbeat fathers, you’re just as disgusting as they are. If it was your child, you’d be complaining. But to expect a man to support the children you have together plus any your had previously but are so up in arms about them being required to support the children he had BEFORE you is pathetic. If all you women would stop reproducing with KNOWN deadbeats, maybe the cycle would end. I have children and I work very hard to take care of them with the help of my husband who is NOT the bio father of my children. I am owed child support. I don’t expect to ever get it but I would love to be able to put more away for college. If my husband was anything like these “fathers” I saw on here, I would never have glanced his way. Why would you ever have children with someone that you KNOW hasn’t supported their children in years? Everybody has a sob story but nobody takes responsibility for what they/their partner owes.
Ma b u just don’t get it ama dad that took care of my kids work all my life until one day I lost my job n she moved on n still was taken care my kids they r my life so I ma sure they had everything they need n some n one day there mother got on public air ni got paper from child support saying o them &10;000 n about a yr n a half later started back working n been owning them every week of since n they take my taxes n get money from me every week n its just gos up n up can someone help me thanks
I would like to respond to your question but I cannot read/understand your post. 🙁
“November” your not here to help others only to berate and belittle.
I have read your replies and you are demeaning to all.
child support sucks for non custodial
My husband is still paying child support and kids are grown adults 21&19. they never even benefited from the support when they lived with their mom as teens cuz they would still ask their dad for more money as well as their grandparents. the ex only worked part time or didn’t work at all according to the kids but enjoyed going to bingo and leaving two teen girls alone to their own vices, allbeit not bingo everyday but enough. they never wanted to live with us cuz they knew dad had rules, curfew and they didn’t like the idea so since they could choose, they stayed with their mom. till this day, mom paints their dad as reason they got divorced even though she was the one shacking up with different guys. yet when my husband went to check on misapplied payments his case worker lumped him into group of inmates who can’t or don’t pay for their support even though he’s paid half of it off already with the help of EIC from our daughter that she never benefits from.
correction she is 21
my youngest turned 2 and no longer lives at home goes to college full time using my tax info of course and now have a court date to stop support which is fine i have no issue with that i havent gotten suport on a regular basis even hen the older two children were oin school. The father ows thousands in arreas, should he still hve to pay them, im willing to let the kids have them, knowing i did everything for all three when support wasnt being paid.
Any ideas plz and ty
My son’s father stopped paying his child support for years . I just watch it built up . He goes on FB and boasts about his new tattoos yet still my husband and I are struggling to take care of our family. One day he will pay. My son will go off to college next year and still no child support payments.(He who feels it knows it).My case is in NY so he has to pay until the age of 21. So no I don’t feel sorry for deadbeat dad’s He was always able to see his son even though he never took care of him they way he should have. My husband is paying support for his three children and taking care if his son too, why can’t he pay his support.
collectionfs of arrears upon Emancipation of minor child
My child mother moved to bay county in florida I live in orange county in florida have been paying child support since 9/2010. the child has graduation from high school 2014/june. six months later was 18years old in 10/2013. I paid child support in bay county with the arrears and now they want 26,000 but what happen they are two different counties so now they are doing a audit right now which they should have done. guess what the other county don’t talk to one another check that out. so this is bad they need to stop that bay county got my child support, arrears, sent me a termination letter that says arrears -0-, child support -0-. so there is a problem they do not want to get in touch with the other county they did not want to look at my paper work from bay county
I am currently paying child support and my child will be 19 in Feb. I am currently paying arrears.I didnt know if there is a form I am supposed to file so that the child support stops for the one 19 and goes directly to the arrears. Please help.
Paying on CS Arrears 25 Years plus
My husband had a brief affair with a woman and fathered a child who is now age 38. His mother, soon married another thereafter and lived on welfare often throughout his upbringing. My husband paid the court ordered child support all but possibly two of the years when he was out of work. He has paid faithfully and even though did, the state would still step in and garnish his wages for double or more the court ordered CS amount required. THis has gone on for the 28 years we have been together. In 2006 he became permanently disabled with chronic heart failure and has not been well. His fixed income on disability is meager, yet the state steps in and garnishes over 10% of disability as well. He has paid child support and then some now for a total of going on 39 years! He has paid more than triple his original obligations and yet they still have a Judgement/Lein against our property for yet another 20,000!!! I am so disheartened about this and wish to pursue the advice of an attorney to help him with this situation but my husband is afraid of rocking the boat for fear they will make things even harder. I don’t see how they can make it harder.
Darn I stared this letter cause she had my ss garnish saying I was behind when in fact I am ahead, it is a pride think cause a have been raised to be a man of my word and do what is right only to be screwed
Believe in the law just not the justice system
Back in 1995 my wife divorced me 3 months after div was finale she was with child, she called all worried didn’t,t know what to do, her mom , who is no longer with us suggested aborting, when my ex told me I told her that I would take responsible and be the father of the child.
I was still in love with her figured this was what The Lord want it so we got back together had the child, my name was put on brith certificate every thing was going to work out right WRONG, she went back to the biological father without me knowing, letting my son be with bio dad at age three, I found out son knew about his real dad when he move in with me at the age of 14,
I failed to mention that I have a daughter who is biologically mine she is 4yrs older than my son.
FYI ex wife’s boyfriend was her first, he was a hell raiser that rather do that instead of having full time job, guess that’s where I came in to the picture. Honer dis from Seabees work everyday since,
So a guy thing didn’t like my ex wife’s boyfriend then meet him in person last year at court
This story can go for a long time bottom line when my son moved in at 14 I had rules at the house, he had to do chores, and go to school and after he got to school he was busted for pot, new rules no drugs, started having him do a UA test, he stoked my truck went driving thru his school, grounded right NO his mother called him to go with bio father to wyo to help put motor in his half brother motor cyl
When he finally got back to colo he dicided that he would be better off with his mother,NO rules.
No child support with court was never est since he came after the fact, but always paid more than was set for my daughter support
Son drop out of school at 14 work full time all this didn’t know when ex took me to court for child support after she started running out of money helping her boyfriend dicided it was time for metro pay
Lawyer cost me 25000 was to be a slam dunk case he told me a year went bye with motions after motions with finally a court date just so my lawyer half way tell me we need to settle cause good change we could loose so came up with me paying and bio dad paying I had to pay more cause my disability pay is more than his.
Well last week after I found out that my son at17 was pulled over and had pot in the car,pulled over again same day,so I filed a motion with Elbert county court to modify child support, she went to her lawyer said that my reason to modify was unjust because being 18, working full time and having enough money to buy drugs doesn’t justify a reason for modifying child support had to pay her lawyer
Sorry needed to talk, know this is confusing story, it is hard to believe that the justice system allows this,cause when she put her financial statement together, she works 30 hrs a wk has done two additions on her house,2008 SUV that is paid for has little debt
And only makes 11 dollars an hour
I’m still paying off child support arrears for my adult child. When will it stop?
Just speak to your son, and ask him to relive you. He will need to say that he paid you in full, and that he no longer wants to receive the money from you. Or he can send the check back to you when he receives it, and you still look really good on the court order!
Anyone who get caught up in child suport is going to have a hard time unless you have a good understanding with the mother for the kid sake. other than that its a headch dealing with what thet do with the money give to a boy friend that don’t work give him a plce to stay for how ever long he stays there and try to plAY DADDY HAVING disfunction from his mom and dad its seem that how it works and it has been that way for sometime untill you here some story on tv HOW A FEW PEOPLE HAD SUCCESS THAT WAS ON WAREFARE BUT NOT A BIG MASS OF PEOPLE WE ARE THE LAST NEVER FRIST i’M NOT SAYING YOU ARE NOT TO SUPPORT YOUR KIDS YES YOU SHOULD BUT IN MANY SITUATION IT HARD TO, AND THE COURTS GO BY THERE GUILDE LINES AND THAT IT. aND TO CHANGE ANY THING IS HARD IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND IT SEEM LIKE ITS GETTING WOIST THEY JUST GO TO MEETING AND DEO NOTHING AT TIME i HAVE SEEN THING HAPPEN IN A LONG TIME THE THE WHOLE aMERICA CAN SAY THANK GOD THE GOVERMENT DID SOMETHNG GOOD FOR THE LAND OF THE FREE ARE WE REALY FREE.
You knw its to bad that you have to live this way in life hate toward the mother or father. I never grew up with my mother or father and i’m 51 years of age and I never received any suport from mother or father but I still honer my father and mother as it says in the bible but people change things and in life you can get confused and you end up hating your mother or father and it make your life much harder them people braught up with there parents the college school books tell you that and those are the most people paying child support. My mother and father divorce when I was a year old Father took another wife and had children and they wanted for nothing me onn the other hand wore hand me downs mother was 18 when she had me now should I be bitter and ask for my child support payback for 51 years if they would give me that I could my child support now my kids are grow to. I was braught by my great grand mother in a shack that a white man in Mississippi my great grandmother work for many years ironing cloths nd clean there house with no biniffits so she only got a little money so she had to get 30 dollers a month for me and my brother to feed us the cheap white man she work for let her have free in the exchange for willing for so many years like back in slavery time until the the kids got grow and he got old thet told her she had to move now they wanted buld a big house where we lived and the old raggdy shack had to go. Jobs seem the sazme way like my great grand mother use to work right today no maidical no pennsion she got for working for that man but he had plentty and the children lived a good life but not share with the good worker company in America is still just like that white man my great grand mother work for are we realy moving forward or are we going back to slavery but with every person not the just black American like during slavery time. How can you pay child support working at a place that don’t give you beniffit that force you to go to the goverment for help and they get tax write offs it does not seem fair catch 22 evry where talk about be honest. this causes hospital to fill up causes people to get sick with worry on how to pay the builds then the company go give to charties for tax write off but want pay there employee enough to live on or maidical aid so yes you would be in dedt paying child support when the child is adult and may not have a relationship while you are paying and you are being judged by state and has been dinost to be adhd or some other disorder and charge you for not knowing how to be a supporting father because of your problem you can only do certain job so if you don’t work thay put you in jail because you can’t function on the job without getting fired yes to me child support is a confusing thing I never recieved any child support so how would I right but I do believe there should be some change we should be able to be forgiven by our children and the state exspecially if the children are adult a second chance with the grand kids should be granted because you may spend a lot time feeling giltty for not being able to support you children or hAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEN FOR WHAT EVER REASON OR PROBLEM YOU MAY HAD IN THAT POINT AND TIME. PEOPLE TEACH FORGIVENESS ODES THAT NOT GO FOR THE STATE OR GORVERMENT AS WELL SO MAY THAT WANT BEFORGIVEN IS THAT HOW WORKS OR IS THAT WHY THAY TAKE gOD OUT OF POLITICS WHO KNOWS.
1 to 80 Life span
You will never pay this child suport back min wage want let you even have a place to live for your self along with child support you will most likly end up a drinker or drug addict in jail sick stressed out. this is a big part of the reason the jails and prison are full in the of Arizona and its not like the state cares about the children anyway a law should be made for ]the mother or father could agree to sign off these payment so the kids can build a relationship up for the grand children if we were paying to the mother or father without the state in it there would be no intrest there wouldn’t be no one in jail ether way it goes tax payers still pay for both and we pay taxes as well just sems to be a set up to 90 years old you would still be paying because of the state and they no thay will never get that money to work hard and end up with no money to live on not many is going to that sso people sell drugs to your kids that work for the state and the ones that go to college to make a living off there addiction why don’tthey just make up a law for the perfect fathers that are supporting there children but cheats or mother cheats have them pay cheats support for ever bet that falls on many that made up these laws and more then half of people paying these child support are most likly from broken homes disfunctional familys aqbuseed children that became adults that had no clue on how to be a father or mother so just because thay had to go to the state for help it cause you just like college does because the ones that go to the stae for help most likly had no educations or they would not have put the state in there busy and thhe state seems like a long shark because it had been studyed how give benifits and charge the person much more thin what they give out and this is all over America what happen to forgive my dedt America is in dedt plays big role how this work makes people lives missery and the kids America cant even get a raise if thay say you must still pay why cant African Americans get the blood and sweat that help build America plus intrest sure would be the big pay back because that would be just blacks its whites indian that were related as well but no thay won,t talk about that it would be to mach like right money is the root of all evil but God will change it there are people that see whats going on in America
I live in Michigan and I am divorced. My children are now adults and my ex owes me (not the state) almost $60,000.00. He is paying on the arrearages which is court ordered at $203.00 monthly. Shortly after divorce my ex husband had a baby with a woman (who has been on serious drugs for years, even overdosed 3 or 4 times) their child together is 16, the mother receives a great deal of child support for this child. Not to mention that she resides in the community shelter at times while receiving support payments from my ex husband and her current husband who she is separated from. I just think it’s so unfair that my kids have had to go without due to this child….I’m aware that the child has needs, but seems like mines got the short end of the stick when this child came along. I just would like to get what’s owed to me because my kids really got the short end of the stick with support from their father. Also why would the community shelter allow people to stay there with income? Women/men should not get Child Support if they aren’t using it wisely, providing a home, food, clothing and expenses for child welfare. I personally would like my arrearages increased to recoup money from my ex husband.
When the noncustodial parent owes arrears and it is court ordered and it has been paid, whose responsibility is it to stop the payments from coming in….Non custodial or custodial (the one receiving the payments).
Ex is asking for arrears and we had a verbal agreement for a different amount
I got divorced while in the military in GA. We had a verbal agreement that she would take a different lower amount, she signed and cashed every check. She is now through Michigan asking for the remainder of the amount. She is not allowing me time with my children. I want to fight her on the back childsupport, but am not getting any help finding out what I need to do, what forms, etc… I have callled the base, no help, I called the co court, no help. I cannot afford a lawyer, any advice?
My ex is only required to pay $20 a week. You people complain about only getting $60 or so. Its not to pay your bills its to help your child.
My ex doesn’t pay he just lets them take his tax check every year. And when I get it I buy our daughter clothes, a few toys she wants, and I put some in her piggy bank. Of and I use two hundred (of the almost $100 a year i get) to pay for four weeks of summer camp at the ymca.
I am remarried and have three other children (4 total) and we get by just fine without my ex paying. Does he owe it yes. But in my opinion in today’s world don’t have a baby if you cant afford one alone.
After a child is 18 yes you should still owe your back support. You decided not to pay it. Your fault.
Exactly what u said Joe Blow.
CS payments should be based on what it takes to raise a child, but they are not. Take my case for example. I have 7 kids. 6 live with me, and 1 that does not, that I pay support for. My monthly support for her is $674. She gets absolutely none of that, yet her mother has a new car, new home, and a guy that hasn’t worked for about 8 years. I buy all school clothes and pay for all activities such as cell phone, pet care, etc… I even tried to let it be, but it’s sad to see her not have the things that she should because her mother uses Child Support money to satisfy herself and my child could just rot in hell for all she cares. It’s very sad. I can not get custody because, in FL u have to show an endangerment to the child.
Most CS receivers are probably good. But there are some horrible ones out there that really make this system stink. And a lot of people with squinted eyes that see things only their way such as you.
I was told by the CS officer myself that the state only recognizes the children on support, not the ones that I have in my home. And if my daughter actually got some of it, I wouldn’t mind so much. I even hear my other children saying they feel sorry for her.
So when u, Joe Blow, go get your CS goodies, how much goes into your pocket? How much does it take to raise a kid, really? Does everything given go to the child and nothing gets scraped off into your hands. I highly doubt it.
That money is for the children. Not to help you with your lights and utilities unless you’re charging your child rent and such. Enjoy your new hair-do. Make sure to ask you’re kid if the like it being that they paid for it.
You’re an idiot. I’m pretty sure light bills etc. are higher when there are children in the home vs just a single person. I’m sure you wouldn’t need more than a one bedroom home if you didn’t have children. Those things cost more when you have children. So yeah, child support covers those things (necessities).
I must be living in a different world then every one else. I as a mother have been struggling to get child support for years. My ex owes over 10,000.00 in back support. Hes never haf his license taken away, files his taxes abd gets every dime. Ive tried to reason with him and have him only pay half and call it fair. He wont stay caught up with my 16 year old with support. Ive had to work three jobs to support my kids. Hearing dads complaining about having to pay child support its your duty as a parent we shouldnt have to do it on our own!!
Child support in the state of Ohio is considered reinversement for money already spent. It even states that in the court order. I am not sure if it’s like that in every state, but the mother can spend the money anyway she likes. If your kids are going without then take her to court or call cps. Child support is based on the amount to support a child ( which is calculated low in my state IMO) and each party pays a percentage based on their income. If you think its too high request a modification. If all of this bugs you then I suggest waiting until you are in a long term relationship that is healthy before having anymore kids.
Support is for supporting the children. I think that includes all of the expenses of raising a child, including housing and utilities. If the child uses them, then they are an expense associated with raising the child, just as much as food and clothing.
It is sad to hear all of the NCPs complaining about having to support thier kids. CS payments are calculated based on what it costs to raise a child and usually it costs much more.
Re “the Truth”: the real truth is that you should crawl back into your hole where the courts left you and try and support your kids however you can LOSER.
The truth about support is that the support amounts are too high. When one parent has custody, they should not expect to get money for bills and utilities and so forth. C S is NOT alimony. If the non-custodial parent is getting nearly $1000 monthly, we all know that the child is not getting it, and even if they did they could not spend it without blowing it away. It is really a shame to try to break one parent, just because the other got the rights to a child, and possibly isn’t even the best parent to boot.
Child Support is not in the best interest of the children.
11 years ago I was told I owed child support for a 12 year old child in California. A child I did not know existed. They charged me with $29,000 of welfare debt this child had used. So the day I found out I had to pay child support, I started out more than $30 in arrears. First of all that is injustice. I spent the next 10 years paying child support, child support arrears and interest on the original $29,000. They have received over $100,000 from me towards this $29,000 debt yet the debt is now $59,000 due to the extorted interest charges. The child is now 23 years old. May or may not be my biological child and no money is due to the custodial parent. During this entire time, I was a single parent, raising a child by myself without support. My son is now 21 and moved out a couple months ago. He went without growing up because of the child support demanded in California for a child I had never met. According to the state of California, when I asked for a paternity test, it is in the best interest of the child that you are legally the father. What a bunch of crap. The child support system is complete and utterly unjust. Whoever invented it, should be ashamed of what they have done in the name of children’s best interest. The only reason the mother named me as the father was to continue abusing the welfare system. I was an easy target since I hadn’t lived in California for years. Does my home state (Indiana) help me? Not a chance. They could care less. The lawyers here tell me to go to California and fight it. The California lawyers simply take my money and do nothing. So continue ranting about how you can’t support your child by yourself. If you can’t then you have not tried hard enough. I did and I still paid the ridiculous child support obligation. Stop living off “the system” and get off your lazy butt and support your own child.
My husband is backed up arrears on adult children and domestics makes sure he’s paying it. Despite losing his job and having a baby of our own. All money goes to HER. Meanwhile he helps me take care of three children from a previous relationship who was once backed up just as much but the state dropped it because “they don’t feel like beating a dead horse” please explain to me while one man must pay for adult children him and his family were not allowed to see while I receive no support for three children that actually need support!!!???
Yeah, my own state decided to stop trying to collect child support after years of not being able to find my kids’ father (I can’t accurately state ex-husband, because a divorce is a luxury I have not been able to afford). I received a letter years ago from Child Support/Department of Revenue stating that they were discontinuing the search due to lack of any new information over the years.
He has, apparently, been quite clever about hiding his employment and his address. Even his family doesn’t know where he lives. But he hasn’t been unable to work. Social Security has told the State that he has continues to pay into Social Security. Unfortunately, he just hasn’t worked for an employer who ever reports his name into the federal ‘new hire’ system so the State would know whom to contact to garnish his wages for child support. Neither Social Security nor the IRS allowed to release that sort of information, even to the State—it has to come from the federal new hire reporting lists.
But, there is hope that he may have to pay something this year…He is eligible for Social Security retirement in a few weeks. He did work long enough to be eligible for that! So, I’m going to ask the State to reopen the case, see if he applies for Social Security retirement, and if he does, they can collect the arrearages from his monthly Social Security payment. Do I feel bad about taking money from what is supposed to take care of him in his retirement years? Let me think…Nah, not a bit! He left me and the kids to struggle while he lived high on the hog, now let him struggle and see how it feels. My kids will be able to use that extra money to get more education, or start a business.
I was paying child support up until I couldn’t afford to pay anymore because i was unemployed for two yrs and paying out of my unemployment checks and i told my ex husband that it will eventrully stop. so i made a last payment back in Sept of 2013 and then in jan we went to court and he knows i dont work nor have income and epects my boyfriend to pay which he wont and should not have to at all. However, now i owe 896 which is more then what i know i owe and i paid 40 from a credit card never do that again though they charge fees which is nuts. but intrestd is crazy too why are being charge intrested if cant afford as is to pay back what is owed the law needs to change. I am not working still looking and going back to school. while my ex lives off of my kids ssi money and he works and has section 8 and food stamps and his finace lives with him and she works as a teacher and his brother lives there. I feel im getting the short end. he forced me out of my own when we lived togetgher by bring his finace in and told lies about me and i went into depression. i mean really do i have any say or something .
family court or civil court
looking for some answers if possible. My husband has a 25 year old son who has not lived with the mother since he was 15. Mother moved to another state and the child did not like it out. therefore came to live with the father for a while. At some point the child left his dads to live where he grow up at. Without either one of his parents. Around the age of 20 or so, the son moved in with us and wanted a car therefore the father decided to get him a car with the understanding that he will have his mother sign documents stating the arrears have been satisfied. Son got the car in which we paid 10,000.00 down for it plus insurance etc. Made monthly car payments. Yet the son will not have the mother sign documents. We have proof of all monies given to the son, is there way to file a case with family court to reflect this amount was paid because the case has been closed and the outstanding balance with no interest is owe in which is only arrears. Family court or civiil court? I ask about ciivil court because this his damage our credit his driver license etc???
A Bias System
This system is a bias system and built to destroy the unknown, whether it’s men, women and/or children, someone has to become the target mainly men using them as a CASH COW to fund the Child Support Agencies…At best, the courts keep both parents at adversary, fighting etc, so they can keep one thing going is MONEY! To answer anyone’s questions Please stop “calling men deadbeats”… Why don’t the Mother’s as known as the “Custodial Parent” just give the child to the Father’s, in other words the money the father would have paid to mom, let him keep since he seems to be the elected one who’s ordered to pay for child support. I think this is fair for both parties.. The key word, we are in the best interest of the child as the court alleges right??? I’m a mommy and when I don’t have money to give to my children or pay for something I’m not charged 10% interest for not supporting my children…..Like I said, this system is bias to the unknown and we as American citizens must act now to help save our children, women and men! AMEN!!!
if the father lives in the area and hte children spend 50% of their time with him then there is very little need for child support. So if the father just was a father chances are no issue
Can some one help me with this i live nj and have a baby mother in the state of florida she filed for child support in 2009 and they went back to when the child was burn in 1997 now the mother applied in 2009 that only 5 years of child support i should owe why the hell is florida messing with me i filed for appeal and they told me the florida stutes wasdone tords 1997 guidelines since the child was born in 1997 guidelines ithink there playing me out but i might need to get a laywer in florida for 1,500 to save 20,000 k or they are going to screw me like the jugde already did i just don;t believe it she took me in 2009 it shows on documitation paper work it states that in 2009 she did take me……need help on this….
If I had no children. I could live in a one bedroom apartment. Spend half the amount owe in utilities . I can travel more often for work and have free time to spend with my buddies I could afford a new car and trips. But I’m a costodial parent with no help. I have a 3 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood so my kids are safe and comfortable. I pay a lot for childcare because I need to work full time. Instead of hanging out with friends I come home cook dinner. Help w home work. Wash laundry and shower the kids. Instead of a nice vacation I buy your child her favorite toy cause she did good in school. Spend money on giving then a nice birthday party and extra cash so she doesn’t feel left out cause she doesn’t have money for chips and soda. I haven’t received child support in 5 years. He is unemployed.
I think a lot of you people don’t get the concept of child support. So let’s put it in a different perspective. If I lived with you. . And owe you rent. But I for some reason don’t want to or can’t pay my rent. Im ordered to pay but I don’t… so I live in your house for 18 years. You pay for all my food supplies. But then I move out. Does that mean I don’t owe you anything anymore. I mean I know you did it by your self. Paid all the bills but I moved out now. I shouldn’t have to pay for all those years of food and broard right. It’s the same concept. You’re not paying your adult children. You are paying her back for sacrificing all she did to feed those kids by herself while you went on and lived your own life.
Are you charging an extra 33% for payback if I start paying you monthly? Most states charge that on totaled owed accumulated monthly. So on a $500 payment you take $200 off the bill and charge $300 interest compounded. Get the picture.
I don’t think most states charge that much. It seems that most states charge 6 or 7%, which is not as much as the typical credit card, which can be from 14 to 22%.
Would the state pay off child support arrearages to the custodial parent?
I read online that some states would pay off child support arrearages to the custodial parent as a settlement. Is this true?
totally not fair
to compare, if you had a credit card and owe 1000 on it, the 1000 doesnt go up. but according to child support laws if you owe 1000 a month ot whatever you owe then go out to get a extra job, the 1000 now turns into 1300 or more depending on the new income! this isnt just theft its intentionally ruining any possible remedy to pay off debts……
there’s a big difference in child care vs support. these outrageous laws make people support mostly the women and when i say support i mean its an income. not a care giving support but an real income to where there chiks can actually lay back, quit there job and let the child support come in in the mean time not letting the kid see there dad… evil to the highest levels is what this is…
Personally, I don’t know any women who could afford to live off child support. Then again, maybe I just hang with a hard-working, nose-to-the-grindstone type crowd.
confused and want to help my dad.
My dad was arrested on the 3rd for felony back child support. My sister and I are now 25 and 22. We understand that he owes this money to our mom but she really doesnt deserve it. My dads bail is 16000 dollars no 10% no bondsman.My sister and I want to write off what my dad owes. My mom failed to say anything to friend of the court when we were younger that when i was 16 cps removed me out of my mothers home and I was put in a friends home but my dad still had to pay support but why not my mom? When I was 14 I lived with my dad and my step mom but he still had to pay support for me and my sister who was still at my moms. My sister moved out of my moms house when she was 16 but my mom did not report that to friend of the court and my dad still had to pay all this and his arrears still kept climbing. My mother never used the child support money on my sister and I. She got disability and worked under the table. She had everything she wanted. Well now my sister and I want to help my dad. Please any advice will help.
Not all Moms are greedy
Some states won’t slap the father with back support when you go to court for a child support order. I live in MA. I didn’t take my son’s father to court until my son was almost 3. I didn’t ask for back support because we were together prior to the court date. I didn’t even ask for back support, I just wanted support to help as my son grew older. He did not pay once the order was established. That is how he got at one point over 20,000 in arrears.
Deadbeat Dad…ha…more like Deadbeat MOM!
Ha! It isn’t always ‘DEAD BEAT DADS’ that owe arears. My husband was never married to his ex. They had a child and lived together for 5 years. His ex didn’t even have a job. She stayed at home with the kid, in his house that he paid for. He worked his tail off during those 5 years. He bought all the formula, diapers, clothes, etc. When he left her (she cheated on him), she went to establish child support and slapped 5 years of arears on him. Yep…$17,000 back child support he owed from the start since they weren’t married and child support had never been established. The court respresented her; however, not him. He didn’t have the money to get a lawyer (he was in his early 20’s and trying to raise his family). So, $17,000 he owes. His child is now 18 and he still owes $14,000 of arears. So, don’t think that every man that owes is a dead beat dad. Oh yeah…guess what, the ex found out she was pregnant about a month ago (by her current husband) and took my husband back to court to increase the child support for the 18 year old (still paying because he is in high school). Guess what…it worked. Lazy, crazy ex’s. Be smart people! Do a DNA test and establish paternity ASAP if you have a child out of wedlock.
My brother in law has been paying arears for some time now and his ex wife has never spent a penny on the 2 sons which can be proven, but my question is now that the sons no longer live with their mother can he (brother in law) just pay the arears to his sons
The child support arrearages are owed through the State—then, they have to be paid through the State. Once the case is opened through the State, never pay any amount directly to the recipient—for your own good. You will still have that amount due to the State, and you will end up paying it twice.
If you want to give something extra to help the custodial parent, do it out of the goodness of your heart, but also keep a record of what you have given, in case things go sour down the road and you end up in court against the custodial parent. This is known as CYA (cover your a__). Having an itemized list of what was given and when, and copies of cancelled checks—may become very helpful. In fact, keeping the same sort of list of what you have given the children while they were in your care can help you the same way. Hopefully, you’ll never have to use that information in court…but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Oddly enough, there may also be times when, due to financial difficulties, and if you have a good relationship with the custodial parent, you may have to come to an agreement where you make the required payment to the State and then borrow some money from the custodial parent. Don’t do this unless the custodial parent is doing well financially and you know you won’t be taking bread out of your children’s mouths. And, for goodness’ sake, don’t make a habit of it, because you will then begin to look like a complete loser. But keep a record of what you borrowed, and when, and pay it back—consider this a top priority!! By doing this, you keep current on your child support and you can avoid getting into the snowballing interest and arrearages accumulations.
You won’t believe this!
My husband and I have been married for 13.5 years. When we married, he had a 5.5 year old son from a previous relationship. After we got married, my husband went down and voluntarily set up child support payments for Jr. because he loves him and wanted to help provide for him. My husband has always paid his support and is only $600 in arrears (due to having lost a job over the summer). He is ordered to pay $300/month in support. So, my husband being the responsible person he is, decided to not only get 1 new job but 2 so that he could make up for what he had missed paying. What do you think happened? Now both jobs are taking out $300/month for his child support and he just received a notice that they are going to begin taking out another $25/week to pay off his arrearages! So now, Sr. is on the hook for over $700/month for a $300/month support agreement on a 19 year old man that Sr. hasn’t seen for over 8 years because Jr.’s mother forbad it. For you New Jerseyans out there, beware! There is NO cut off age for child support in New Jersey. Child support continues no matter what until someone goes to the supreme court and has it cut off! Tell me, how can we get a lawyer when Sr. is paying 225% child support? We called an attorney firm for help and the first question they asked is “How do you plan to pay for an attorney?”. Sr. hung up. We make too much money to get Legal Aid (not that we see much of the money). We need help. If an attorney could help us get the support stopped, then we could pay some after the fact. But we have zero money up front to pay for a lawyer. We can’t even afford food and are about to be evicted through no fault of our own. My husband is working 60-70 hours a week and only brings home $225/week. This is utterly ridiculous! Somebody Help Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jr. needs to be emancipated! We filled out the paperwork and faxed it in but that was 6 months ago and nothing has been done about it yet. We have been told that Jr. can’t be emancipated unless we go to court with a lawyer.
Arrears and Interest is not extra money!
My ex finally paid off his arrears when my son was 22. The only reason it was paid off was because they seized his federal return. For years, my son’s father worked under the table. My now husband and I had to pay for him without any help. This includes food, shelter, medical, and clothes. It’s not cheap to raise a child. We used credit cards that accrued interest when we didn’t have the cash. We still have to pay off those credit cards.
My son’s fathers original order was $50 a week. Then moved up to $67.50 when my son was 10. That is not a lot of money barely covered food.
Now my son’s father owes me over $4000 in interest even though the original order is paid in full. So think about how long he didn’t pay his support to accrue that much in interest on a $67.00 a week order. He owes this money to me not the state. I was never on welfare so the interest goes to me not the state.
Now my son’s father wants me to waive the interest now. Why should I do this considering for years my husband and I supported our son? I realize everyone has hard times but for 18 years? His answer, he has another family. Not my problem. He should have stepped up to the plate when his oldest son needed it.
Now he refuses to pay. I believe I have to take him to small claims court because it’s not child support but interest. So apparently, I have to pay to take him to court once again because he’s still the dead beat he always was.
hI, I currently have custody of my son his mother was order to pay child support 4yrs ago
in the state of California. she did not pay for three years and owed over $11,000 in arrears
now the department of child support services has closed the case because she was living in another state and not working and she all of sudden she owes nothing….my son is now living with her and child support department says there is nothing that can be done….how can she get away without supporting her kid all those years and not owe a penny? and now she is going to file for support and make me pay. I dont know what to do.
Just Pay Up..
My Ex was ordered to pay $253.00 monthly over 18 years ago.. Obviously that is not nearly enough to help supplement raising a child. He had regular visitation rights in the past until my son refused to see him that frequently. He owns his own company has some how always been able to dodge the system I haven’t received a dime and he now owes approx. $75,000,00 in arrears. Our son is now 20 and in college and yes the money would still helpful as we need to pay for tuition, books, etc… I’ve taken on a much bigger debt (financially) over the years getting him to where he is a successful young man and I have had a legal obligation to pay it back; so why shouldn’t I be obligated to get repaid for what was rightfully owed to me?
Pay Up.. You’re hurting no one besides your kids..
Some custodial parents use the child support system as a tool to punish the non-custodial parent because he moved on and doing well and they are not.i am responsible to do my part for the child,but i shouldn’t be responsible for the mother and her children she had with another man,and i shouldn’t be responsible if the custodial parent decide to get on welfare and is to lazy to work,or had to many children.
Child support is use to put the non-custodial parent in poverty,if the government really want to help the children then they would work on helping the parents to work together and help teach them to be parents,punishing the non-custodial parent dose not help the child,it only make the children hate.
No, child support is used to keep the children out of poverty. And I don’t need to be taught how to be a parent…I have raised 5 children and they are all good people. I can give myself a pat on the back for having done a good job raising them. My three youngest children don’t hate their non-custodial parent, they just don’t care about him, as he ‘disappeared’ 2006 and never cared to contact them or have anything to do with them at all, including not helping them financially (by paying child support).
That’s the situation of your own making, parents who abandon their children…Please don’t come back into the picture when they are adults and expect your children to be your ‘buddies’. It’s not going to happen. Just keep pretending that your children don’t exist.
c’mon fellas. if you owe anyone anything just because you stop paying them doesn’t mean you don’t still owe them…
there is no reason why a father shouldn’t have to pay what he owes just because he didn’t pay. because many “men” (rolls eyes) don’t pay child support their children burden others with paying for their welfare checks, food stamps, free school lunches, medical, dental and daycare etc. if everyone else has to pay for your kid for 18 years, too friggin bad if you have to pay back what you didn’t pay and made everyone else have to.
it’s sad when workers can’t afford medical care for themselves because they are taxed have to pay it for some deadbeat. that takes away from helping build roads, build schools, job programs, their medical and even food of of their plates. when me and my family suffer, I don’t have a gram of pity nor respect for someone that was the cause of it…
Amen to that!
Natasha, the reason why that concept is so hard for non-custodial parents to grasp that thought is they think that because their offspring is now an adult, what they owe should be forgiven. They think that as long as they can “hide out” until the child is 18 years, they should be free and clear. They don’t view it as what it really and truly is which is simply reimbursing the custodial parent back monies for covering their sorry assess all those years, and even then, it never normally comes close.
Arrears = “reimbursment”.
Hint: Don’t let other people cover your portion of financial responsibilities and you wont have to worry about paying them back. Contribute to their upbringing like a responsible adult should! But no! Alot of people seem to think it’s fine to dodge paying their share and allow the custodial parent to cover their portion and then when age 18 rolls around, *poof*, they no longer owe.
The State of Indiana supports this concept, meaning, if you’re a non-custodial parent who owes back support, you can avoid paying child support (there are no consquences) and if you can manage this for 18 years, they will terminate the original Court Order and they will NOT go after you for arrears. You will be able to pay $5 a year if you like, or, simply NOT pay at all! In other words, Court Ordered Child Support in Indiana is “optional”. Yes, thats right, “OPTIONAL”!
Told by Attorney for Child Support, I make too much money
I have been paying 900 in child support for over 7 years, while I was being jerked around about seeing my kids. Finally decided to file for a visitation order, only to have the mother re-up for more child support. Naturally, I have gotten raises since it began, and was now ordered to pay way over $1800 in support plus arrear payments ($150 per mo) because they back dated 5 months. As I argued articulately with the judge, claiming Child Support is not supposed to transfer wealth, he ignored me and entered the final judgment against me. This literally destroyed me, the Judge might as well have given me a foreclosure notice on my home, because now, Im left with a lil over $1000 bucks to pay a mortgage ($1600) utilities and other bills. My mortgage was late for the first time, and Im barely keeping utilities on and defaulting on loans. Is this really what the Child Support system is about? Disenfranchising men and some women? If it is then our legal system is sadly misguided. All they took into account was interest and principal on mortgage payment, and I guess you’re not supposed to have lights and gas on in your home or pay the taxes on your property. This system sends more men into poverty than any other thing that could possibly happen to them. Then you try to get a second job, or a promotion so you can live, then they take that……
I know,that’s why i live in another country.A free’er one with less corruption,and men are still able to be men.I’m ex-military,but that means nothing anymore.Just propaganda for the masses.My foreign ex-wife has more rights than me.We men need to organize and overthrow this corrupt regime
Wow as I read this I sure can see all the deadbeat dads who owe back support or the spouses of those owing! If you are a parent and you choose to not pay for your kids then why should you be let off the hook just because your child turned 18? I am the daughter of a deadbeat who owes my mom arrears of over $900,000 because of interest and the 16 yrs of non payment! Why should interest be charged because thats a debt you owe to someone. If you owe any company, dr office anything it accrues interest! Why would/should this debt be any different. When you stopped paying your kids felt the pain! Less food..less Mom time…Less clothes all the things a kid needs to live now has to be covered by the custodial parent. I had to step up and act as an adult at 12 because my dad didn’t want to pay…how fair is that? It wasn’t, now hes finally got “recorded” money coming in my moms getting some arrears! She giving some of it to us..now my mom has passed and my dad gets to collect his full checks and continue to say F You to his kids! I’m sickened by the fact that people really think its acceptable to not pay for their kids and just live their happy little life! You are hurting your kids NOT their ex when you don’t pay!
Sorry u went through that,but truth is that MOST men are NOT deadbeat dads.
I got laid off work as just one example,so i got behind.The interest is so high that i can NEVER catch up. My interest is 5 times the actual amount.Even though she kept hiding my daughter from me.Everythings not just one way.
My wife and I separated in 2001 and filed for divorce, she immediately agreed to me having custody of my son. until the divorce was actually final in 2004 I shared a joint account with my ex and put money into this account every two weeks for her expenses and car payments and for my daughter. in 2005 my daughter came to live with me full time and I was still being charged support for arrears on both kids which I just had stopped on my son 2 years ago. I found out that I was being charged for the money she was receiving for being on public assistance and she was still claiming the kids lived with her while I’m being charged for the money that my kids weren’t seeing. now I recently looked at a statement that showed my principle balance at 230.00 and interest at 5000.00. my kids are adults now and lived with me through the majority of this situation. his there any help for the widows son?
Child support interest should be against the law. You should pay what you owe and no more. That should be the law!!!
I totally agree its hard enough to pay child support and live on what’s left, than to have to pay interest on it too… how is anyone suppose to live ..I know a guy who pays CS and works 80 hours and his take home pay is only $130 , how does a man survive? The courts are way too harsh and charge way too much, the rules need to be reevaluated..the rights are too unfair!
Don’t have children that you can not afford.
You and your cohorts continue to make rude comments and have no Idea truly what is going on. The parents on here are looking for help with there situation because it is causing distress and the child support laws are not fair, but you wouldn’t care or understand this because your probably a custodial parent who is owed arrears trolling this page.
Let’s start a campaign ourselves. Because nobody else gives a damn !!!
Anybody know how to start this organization ? I’m in if you want to get started.
There is already a grassroots effort for this cause…it’s called “Deadbeats USA.”!
Another branch of the group is called “Homewreckers USA”. Thousands of loyal mistresses lobby for their man’s rights within the confines of these organizations.
If you paid on time there would be no interest. Don’t understand what the problem is. If its too hard for you to pay then go to the judge and have it reduced. My guess is you have plenty of money
Again, in some cases it has nothing to do with paying on time or not making payments. If the custodial parent receives social services while the non custodial parent was taking care of the child with out an order, The state will order child support and arrears regardless. So now the non custodial parent is responsible for what was collected by the custodial parent. It works for the state and the custodial parent and even if you were taking care of the kids it will not matter to the state because to them your automatically to the bad guy. The best advice I can give is to save your receipts and detain a lawyer.
Actually, states DO make money off child support collections. They receive federal funding that is directly based on the number of child support cases they pursue and are able to collect funds on. It amounts to millions of dollars in free revenue for the states.
Nearly every state also charges custodial parents a processing fee, which is included in the child support payments, but which goes to the state, not to the custodial parent. Again, that equals more revenue for the states.
Arrears and Interest Go to Custodial Parent
In response to Tina’s comment above, the state does not “make a mint” off child support arrears. This is absurd. i am a custodial parent receiving arrearage payments plus interest from a noncustodial parent who decided not to pay child support payments for years. All of it goes to me. The state takes nothing and is entitled to nothing. That’s just complete misinformation.
Interest does not go to custodial parent, interest becomes service fees, processing fees etc. Custodial parent only gets child support owed to them. And “being a deabeat”, is not the ONLY way to have arrearrages. I know a man who has been charged outrageous amounts for years, $1700/month for 2 children? He always paid child support, but could never make a full payment, so all that money added up. And everytime the mother needed help, he would. When he finally fought the $1700 he was being charged, even the judge said the amount was ridiculous!! They dropped it down to $200/month, but they did not drop any arrearages. He now owes $76,000 in “back support” because $1500/month was not being oaid, because he couldn’t afford it… So that added up, plus interest, to $76000! He has always had his kids over the complete summer, every vacation from school and 3 weekends a month. Before they started school he watched them while their mom was at work during the day, and he worked an afternoon shift. So in these women on here’s minds m, and sadly the government’s minds, he is a deadbeat. But he has always provided, and until the kids were 5 years old he spent every day with them, since the age of 5 he has spent every vacation from school and almost every weekend. His mistake was he missed a court date, and they decided to charge him the highest amount possible for 2 children. He works at a factory 60 hours a week for $9/hr. Surely not enough to pay $1700/month. While the mother is now a registered nurse, making $25/hr. Aren’t support obligations supposed to be based on both parents income?
I know another man, who’s ex wife opened up child support cases in two diffe rent counties… both collecting for the same child. While he was paying his original court order, assuming he was doing what was right, arrearages were adding up in another county that charged him a lot more… Which is why the “mother” went to the other county. Because she knew they were tougher on fathers… 10 years later, his daughter about to turn 18 and he owes no back child support (as far as he knows). He gets arrested in the “other” county for a child support warrant. He asks what? No I pay every week, it comes out of my checks. They tell him he owes $30,000 for his daughter in that county. He says no, I don’t have any kids in that county. They name his daughters name, and he’s like yea, but I been paying for over 10 years, every week! Finally courts get involved. Ask, how he let it happen? He never knew… then they argue between eachother about who should have or should not have been collecting child support. They decide to close the original order, which was the one paid to date, and left the one with arrearages for him to pay. Contacted lawyer. Child support office is protected from law suits! There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING he can do, but pay the “other” counties arrearages… Because they “took care of it” according to them…
The system is seriously flawed, and all you women who want to believe that because your ex is a deadbeat, anyone who owes back pay is, are miserable humans. To not understand that every situation is different, just as every individual is, and each case should be looked at as such.
Just to let you all know, I am a woman, who stands with men on this issue! The system, and some miserable bitter women are seriously flawed and need major overhaul!!
jen good for you thanks.
reform child support laws
How do we go about reforming the child support laws in California as well as the other States on back child support and the interest rates. Can the state of California be sued for embezzling and extortion of back child support to help finance their administration fees. Because that’s what there doing. that’s what the White House is a lot of it that’s what the White House is allowing and all our congressman.
One law to change, why do the person paying the support also have to pay the taxes on it, but the person that gets it is tax free? If they have custody of there children they all ready get a big tax break?
The person paying the support pays income tax on the money he/she earns. The amount paid for child support is essentially money that you would have used to raise your children if you were living together with the custodial parent.
Child support is not taxed as ‘earned income’ because it is not ‘earned’ in the sense that the custodial parent goes out and works for it. It is an amount determined by the State to be the ‘missing’ part of the amount that the two parents would be spending on the children if they were raising the children together, in the same house, as a ‘family unit’.
If it makes you feel any better, there are cases where the non-custodial parent pays very little, because the custodial parent earns far more money than the non-custodial parent. Both parents’ incomes are considered when the court sets the child support amounts according to their states guidelines.
Child support arrears
Pay what you owe up to the point he turned 18 or age of emancipation. if you have paid that in full everything you are paying now is going to the state. since your obligation to your child has been paid in full the state is raking in the arrears that they added on. the state makes a mint off child support arrears and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Why should so much interest be added? it is wrong!! once the child becomes of age interest should stop but it does not. broken and corrupt system.
If you paid, there wouldn’t BE arrears to contest
Several comments here:
1) Social Security Disability is NOT exempt from child support—they will with hold it and send it to the child, often at a higher rate than what state guidelines would have calculated for child support obligations.
2) Arrears can still be enforced, even after a child emancipates, and can even be applied against the estate of the parent obligated to pay should they become deceased.
a) Arrears are owed to the CUSTODIAL PARENT, as they are the ones that had to take up the slack when the Non custodial parent did not meet child support obligations while the child(ren) was a minor.
b) If interest becomes an issue, try to pay ahead so less interest is assessed—tax returns, for example? I know it isn’t what you want to hear, but again, had the payments come on time (and believe me, I know things happen) there wouldn’t even BE any arrears to discuss now.
c) If a custodial opens a case and also wants arrearage (such as for the man above who has an 8-yr old little girl), the custodial parent can only go back THREE YEARS for the arrearage. Also, since she was married at the time, her husband is the “Legal Father” and will have to be disestablished by DNA first before any obligation can be assigned to the biological father (who will also need to be DNA’d if he does not voluntarily acknowledge the child at that point).
3) For the military person who stated that while he was deployed his ex “went for more money”, she couldn’t have accomplished this without you being served and made aware of what she was doing. If you were making more money then, she had the rights to ask for more from you to help support your child. If you are no longer making that kind of money, you have the right to request a modification in the courts to reduce your obligation based on both of your incomes.
4) Generally, you must prove you have a significant change(in income/circumstance/disability/etc) to request a modification if your support order is less than 3 yrs old. However, if the order is over three years old, you will receive a notification that clearly states that you have the rights to ask for/request a modification of your support order/obligation. If you do not keep your address updated with your local Child Support Enforcement office, or you do not exercise these rights that are available, then you will be the one to miss out.
Just some free advice…. Hope it helped at least one person.
I agree with most except the service member one, she had no right while he was overseas because he fell under the SCRA which is a protection for such circumstances and is a FEDERAL LAW which can not be superseded. What happened was illegal, the ONLY thing that is considered for child support payments is his BASIC PAY. That is it. Plain and simple he got screwed and once he finds a decent lawyer it will be fixed. The reason only basic pay is the only inclusion is because all other pays are either temporary which do not warrant the requirements for a modification, or they fluctuate which also unable to be a reason for modification. Anyways that is my $.02
If you paid, there wouldn’t BE arrears to contest?!? lol That’s not always true, if you and the custodial parent have an agreement that you will pay such and such for a certain amount of time, then the custodial parent starts to receives social services for years without you knowing, The state will order child support and arrears to be paid. All the while you were taking care of your child the whole time. Smh You can wake up one day and with a court date for paternity and end up on child support owing arrears because someone was dishonest, greedy and committing welfare fraud. So please before you make Harsh assumptions and statements have your facts straight.
Can i ask a question if im not registered on this site?
Regrettably, child support have evolved (or rather, devolved) into a system that persecutes non-custodial parents, generally (though far from always) men. The federal government pays the states for the money they collect, so the states will do virtually anything to collect it. Destroy its citizens, wreck familities, whatever. Everyday I go to work and pay my child support for my two children, but I know that once day something will happen and I will get behind and I will be destroyed and they won’t have a father anymore. That doesn’t matter though, it’s all about the money.
Michael you are so right,but i read so many nasty comments from women about fathers.
but we know that they have no clue.
Child support can become a scam. Imagine a father who is not behind at all in the arrears but the court order has him paying for daycare expenses and the child hasn’t been to daycare in over 7 years…she is almost 11 years old now. Her sister is age 19 and because the support was established together and they are still taking out child support for her as well. She will soon be 20. North Carolina is a rip off for the system.
I want to just explain a few things. When a parent owes arrearage, it means at some point they failed to meet the child support obligations which leaves the custodial parent to fully take care of the child with no help. This money is owed back to the custodial parent and not the child even if they are adults or not. Please keep in mind this is money being paid back and the custodial parent that was left unpaid when the non custodial parents was not keeping up with the payments. It takes 2 parents to support a child. I don’t understand why it is so hard to understand about arrears. My ex owes me $27,000 and I struggle every day. However, I will do all I can to support my kids.
Thank you….exactly why is it so hard for people to understand this?
Probably because your not men ? Most fathers i know are struggling too,and not living it up.Plus nobody helps men,but women can get all kinds of help.If you knew what divorced fathers have to go thru,you would be glad your a women instead.Women who complain just don’t have all the facts straight.
I’m a woman who pays my ex child support. I have no complaints paying it because it is for my son and his father is able to provide him with a better living situation than I could on my measly income. By the way, I work two jobs and am living with my parents in order to meet the amount of child support payment I was ordered to pay. It’s not just men who have to pay up. I owe this to my son and if that means I have to do without for awhile then so be it. I’ve made every payment on time but still had to pay arrears due to the courts taking their sweet time deciding how much I would have to pay. I understand the system isn’t finely tuned and it’s difficult for all of us, men and women alike, to get out of the hole the government has put us in. It’s not always the one who has to pay. There are people who make their payments, as they should, but can’t get out of the hole we were forced in.
I totally applaud you in the decision of truly what’s in the best interest of your child. A true parent and mother, I sure hope when your child grows up they know exactly why and how you did things to make sure they had the best life possible.
I feel that once the child reaches adulthood, if the noncustodial parent still owes arrears, then they should go to the child. I am a custodial parent, and when my children get their child support, I do not keep it, and they are still minors (I only help them manage their money and they do quite well), however, I feel that when they reach adulthood the youngest child should receive the money in his/her name. Here in TX the custodial parent gets it in form of a debit card or direct deposit, so I feel once the child graduates/reaches 18, the card should come in his/her name. The money is for the children, after all.
yes when my son turned 18 years old they put the check in his name
You sound really dumb and good thing their not going by how you feel. No one cares how you feel. The money is owed to the mother that took care of the children alone, when the father wasn’t helping. After all, it is called BACK child support! It refers to unpaid child support payments that were missed in the PAST. Generally speaking, for instance, a parent may have a legal obligation to make monthly child support payments for the child’s basic necessities.
How does the CUSTODIAL PARENT who is not using the money on herself, rather she is using it what it was intended for THE CHILDREN sound dumb by being an example of how child support should be handled? I believe your moniker is a direct reflection of your intelligence which is sad. Go ahead and tell someone else what they can and can’t do with their money and they will tell you to F off. At least that person is doing the RIGHT THING as opposed to leaving the children in rags while they live the high life.
I believe the point is that the money that was not paid in child support was paid out of the custodial parent’s pocket. It did go to raising the children, it’s just that the noncustodial parent’s share was paid by the custodial parent. This is the way the State sees it, therefore, the unpaid child support, plus interest, continues to be paid to the custodial parent.
“You need help or a huge”…
what a shame for all who are struggling to survive
I paid my child support but when i returned from being overseas in the service
the x went for more due to the extra money I earned for being overseas and was awarded it. and now I owe more then I can pay in a few years plus the children will be adults
gotta love this system
it stinks and they get away with it
Combat pay, overseas pay, BAH are all exempt from child support calculations, Base Pay is all that can be calculated. The reason is that the other pays are either temporary (which is covered and unable to get any court or legal changes while you are overseas under SCRA servicemembers civil relief act. It is a Federal Law) or they fluctuate depending on duty station zip code etc. I would go to JAG and let them know what happened if you are still in, if not then look for a former JAG lawyer that practices law.
Ok. So when a parent fails/or is ordered to pay arrearage then you have to pay. The money goes to. the custodial parent which is typically the mother. Just because the child is an adult now doesnt mean the arrears disappears in thin air.i dont understand whats so hard to grasp about the concept.
Clearly you don’t understand the whole thing natasha.It is more than you think,A LOT MORE !!! Sooooooo much to tell you and so little time and space here.Talk to a few divorced fathers first and then you probably wont want your son to ever marry.
lol theres no need to try to discredit non custodial fathers more then the government already has. Your making an assumption that anyone who owes or is in arrears failed somehow… but thats not neccessarily true. When a woman/man collects Welfare the court automatically puts outs a support order on the father regardless if he was taking care of the kids or not.
if the women is on welfare she doesnt get the money. the money pays back the money your children got unless your stupid and took on her portion too. if thats the case you can go to court and have the courts deduct money and food stamps that were for her.
I had a baby when I was 16yrs old with a women that was 22yrs old at tha time and married. Little girl has the ex husbands last name and is 8yrs old now. Now she’s going after me for child support after 8 yrs the little girl is mine its exactly me. But what can I do from all that back pay child support?
I didn’t read everyone’s comment but the original reply did not answer the question of WHY he is still paying his arrearages if his adult child is not receiving any of it??? WHO IS GETTING THE MONEY IF THE CHILD IS AN ADULT AND ISN’T RECEIVING IT? and….why is this happening?
Presumably the mother is receiving the money since the deadbeat father failed to help support his children when they were minors.
Hi Ava,Many times i have wondered that.Only thing that makes sense is that the government is making a killing on the interest.Taxation w/o representation.
I believe there should be a limit on arrears. I owe 118,000.00 dollars on arrears. They charge me 465.38 per month on interest. They sometimes deduct from my pay check 115.38 per week. At the end of the month since it’s not 500.00 dollars, they give my ex the 465.38 dollars plus they added the interest on the balance. So you see this is a never ending prose’s. You get disappointed. It’s like buying a house and the balance keeps on going up. I’m 60 yes. Old and I’m going to die before I finish paying.
In 1989 My ex wife filed for divorce and her brother was her attorney. I’m sure you can guess where this us going? At the time I was working part time at Sears at $8.00 a hour and my take home pay was $250.00. Because I sold fireworks to earn some extra cash in five days I made $750.00. Her brother the attorney told the court the week I sold fireworks was my true earning potential and I was ordered to pay $300.00 a week plus $65.00 a week for child care. 30 years later my kids are grown and married but I owe $23,500 in arranges that will take me at least 15 more years to pay off with interest and fees. Many weeks my take home was less than $60.00 a week after taxes and support. In 1989 My taxes showed I made 18,000 and was ordered to pay over $15,000! It’s a fair system for sure! Warning to the guys out there, don’t believe your ex wife when she tells you, her brother will take care of both of you to save you some money. When you get to court it won’t happen that way for sure. One error and I’ll pay to the day I die. He told me I wouldn’t need a attorney, boy was I stuped. Good luck LAWRENCE
Yes, you were trusting and you got screwed. But, you did take care of your kids and I hope they appreciate that. I hope you have their love and respect, you deserve it.
The arrearage is going to the mother of the child/children involved.
The mother who took care of this.adult his while life is now entitled to the money!!! The person that received no help from the deadbeat dad the whole time the child was with her des deserves reimbursement from the person who should have been paying out. Just line a.loan, if you total your car and still owe over what the insurance company gives you, they don’t waive that. You still owe until it’s paid off. SMH. JEEZ
My husband owes back child support. He is willing to pay every cent he OWES. My concern is the interest that is accruing. His ex-wife continues to apply all payments to to the interest. We haven’t even touched the the back support yet.Shouldn’t the payment be applied to the support first then the interest? as i calculate it, it will take 8 years to pay the interestand thats no tincluding the new years interest she adds on.We live in New York
The way the payment is applied depends on the laws of the state where you live. It has nothing to do with the recipient. You can contact either the department of revenue in your state or child support enforcement or an attorney to see if there is any way for your husband to pay an additional amount to pay the principal and interest down faster, thereby saving money on future interest payments. Best of luck.
Some one should sue the State of California for insane intrest rates on late child support payments
I am a father who paid child support to my ex girlfriend and I brought cloths and school supplies for my children and paid for whatever they needed when I was employed when ever I was late on payments child support charged me intrest like the kids are credit cards or something the ex did not even have my kids for long periods of time and I still pay even when my kids lived with me I had to pay this is wrong and I know that their has to be help some where to stop this .
Hi Ken,I heard that the only 2 ways were to ask your ex to petition court to stop.
Or to pay off balance of course.Yes it is insane,and makes you wonder how much the federal government is making out of this.I’m sure they are violating our constitutional rights,but it will take time and millions of dollars to fight the fed’s and their greed.
Why did you by clothes and school supplies for the children? You should have been sending all of that to the state for child support.
Well most of us decide to go the extra mile and do more than the minimum when we can. I pay over 1k a month in support, buy his school and summer clothes, Halloween costumes, shoes, entertainment, school supplies, bought him a bed since him and his brother were sleeping on nasty old mattresses on the floor, helped his mom out many times financially for food and bills and formula and diapers and wipes for her kid that wasn’t mine. So with that all being said why should I pay the state and have the state give her the money when obviously it isn’t going towards my son, with me taking full responsibility financially and even having to help a lot more for their house why don’t I just have custody? She doesn’t really pay Rent since she gets SSI, she doesn’t have to buy food because she gets food stamps, she doesn’t have to pay electric, gas, or water/trash since it is included in rent. So where in any way shape or form is she providing for my child? The state and myself are the sole providers for my son. All this talk about dead beat dads well how about deadbeat moms that get so much yet make their kids wear clothes that are torn and dirty or too small meanwhile she has her weed and alcohol and cigarettes and phone. And yes many times she had enough of the aforementioned when she asked for my help. Oh and to put icing on the cake last year I also bought his brother (not my child) his school clothes and supplies and Halloween costume since his mother didn’t want to provide. And she manipulates him and tells and teaches him to do bad things, even told him that her felon boyfriend was his father, “real father” so he was confused from the get go when I came into his life. The only reason I looked at this post is because I’m going after custody to give him the life he deserves, and was wondering how the retro active support works in my situation. But some of the comments from both sides are atrocious to say the least. A better life isn’t always with the mother or custodial parent, like in my case where rules, structure, stability and a better environment and more financially sound family is what is “in the best interest of the child” as custodials and lawyers and judges like to put it.
The mother who took care of this.adult his while life is now entitled to the money!!! The person that received no help from the deadbeat dad the whole time the child was with her des deserves reimbursement from the person who should have been paying out. Just line a.loan, if you total your car and still owe over what the insurance company gives you, they don’t waive that. You still owe until it’s paid off. SMH. JEEZ
If you can provide better for your child, then present your case to the courts. But do document all of the things you have provided in addition to the child support which you have always paid. A good life for the child is what this whole child support thing is about, albeit it gets twisted because we are having to codify which party gets custody of the child based on what each parent can provide.
At one time, in the United States, children were considered the father’s possessions, and if the parents divorced, they usually stayed with him. Then, with the introduction of the ‘Tender Years’ doctrine, it was accepted that young children needed to stay with mother, so the courts favored giving custody to the mother in cases with young children. The legislature and the courts do not exist in a vacuum—they respond to the social norms of the day. Currently, many courts favor ‘shared parenting’, and do their utmost to promote it, including requiring parenting classes for divorcing couples. In my opinion, trying to maintain friendly relations with the person who is doing his or her utmost to screw you in court is very difficult, indeed. But I recognize that the legislature and the courts are trying to do what they consider to be best for the children.
That said, custody cases are still the most emotional of the family court cases, and it’s easy to vilify the other parent when you realize that you are going to be on the hook for a monthly child support payment if you don’t ‘win’ custody.
The best advice I can give is to look in your heart and honestly consider if you really are the best choice for custodial parent. If you really aren’t, due to an inflexible job schedule, or ill health, or anything that would cause you to give less time and attention to your child, you should allow the other parent to have majority custody, and commit to being the best parent you can be in the time that you have with your child. Give your child as much time and attention as possible, to foster a loving, healthy relationship. Don’t miss out on the time that you have together.
If you honestly believe that you can provide more time and attention for your child, then petition for majority custody and be gracious toward the parent who will be spending less time with your child.
Kids aren’t stupid. They might be temporarily swayed by material goodies, but really what they want and need is to be able to trust that their parents love them and are going to do what is best for them.
We need to start up a group! We need help to fight a lot of the unfair issues going on with the non custodial parent. The calculation used in California makes it impossible for the non custodial parent to even live in a house that is suitable for children to come and visit and keep food on the table. This is insane! When need to get something on a ballot. We have to come together and rally. We need to form a group a site. Do a march. Get politicians paying attention. Get this on a ballot! There is more unhappy people about this then there are happy people…that actually vote anyways. If that makes sense. The people receiving these benefits from the hard working non custodial parent…most are not voters. We non custodial parents that pay CS and taxes are voters. We need to march at the capital and get something on a ballot!! Who can help me start this campaign? We need a non profit organization. “Parents against California’s Child Support Calculator” Who is with me?
When will it end?
My husband is still paying child support arrears on his two adult children, that no longer live with their mother. Isn’t there anything that can be done to aleviate this issue. $200 weekly is killing us. My husband is not a deadbeat dad but enough is enough already….HELP!
I heard that the ex can petition the court to excuse the non custodial parent from owing arrears even if there is already a balance. Is that true?
Depending on the state where child support is established a case can be closed by the custodial parent by request.
Hi Mark,i heard same thing.But i suspect not many women want to part with the money.
But a hail mary is better than nothing. Good Luck !!!
Yeah, a hail mary to get rid of the financial responsibility you dodged for so many years Gerald. What a man.
Your salty Ha Ha
I received full custody of my sons from their mom but what I want to know is since the Amended custody order I am no longer obligated to pay support to her but am still accumulating arrears on top of what I already had. I don’t know why I still have to pay since I have full custody and they live with me and have for over a year and a half!!!
I just found out that my father has been paying arrears to my mother for years. I understand the concept of arrears, however, the arrears is only owed due to the fact that my mother had committed welfare fraud. Obviously there is a statute of limitations and nothing can be done about the fraud. My question is, since my father took care of us our entire lives and we are all now grown with our own families, what can I do to help him so he is not giving her money that she is not entitled to?
You’re really a father pretending to be a child. Haha, stop it and pay the child support.
Do you know how I can get the dor to correct the balance of arrears? the court ordered the past due child support to be placed onto arrears. They removed the past due balance but never placed onto the arrears! It’s over 5000.00 and they will get a free pass on that amount due to an error.
Social Security being garnished?
To IMomMom. Hold on a sec! I thought Social Security was exempt from child support collection. This doesn’t sound right to me. Is this based on state?
Yes they can Bewildered,they did it to me.No it’s not the state,it’s the federal govt.
WRONG! You think because you are getting SS, you get that free and clear and your child/Custodial parent is out of luck? Wow, just wow. Didn’t you get a conscience/soul when you were born? You need to find God.
Depends on which Social Security program you collect from. As I understand it, child support, including past due support, CAN be collected from Social Security retirement benefits, and Social Security Disability Insurance benefits, but NOT from Supplemental Security Income benefits.
The difference is that Social Security Retirement benefits and Social Security Disability Insurance benefits are computed based on an individual’s earned income over their working lifetime, and the Supplemental Security Income benefits are given as a needs-based entitlement (welfare) program to supplement the income of people who are blind or have disabilities.
Paying Interest Till I die
I had a judgement for $10,000 child support arrears and have since paid off the original $10,000 + $40,000 in interest. My payments seem like they are not brining down the arrears but merely paying the accumulated interest. Is there a cap to how much I must continue to pay in interest or can they make me pay $100,000 of interest on a $10,000 debt for the rest of my life?
Im in the same boat what can I do
Jeff i’m in same boat too.”Paying til day i die”, And that A-hole Obama say’s there’s a war on women !!! here’s one example for ya. My brother put his then wife thru tech school and makes a good living.But when she divorced my bro,she got the house,C.S.,and remarried.
Count em,that’s 3 incomes,and she still want’s more !!! My ex came from Ecuador,here in U.S. a few yrs. before we met and married.I’m U.S. citizen and ex military,but when she divorced me after 1 kid,she had more rights than me.War on women ? K.M.A. Obama !!!
Me too! I think the only thing to do least try to fix it ban together in volume, hold legislature accountable
Lmfa attacking Obama and teying to defend not paying cs. Poor guys and tgis horrific war on them for not paying for their kids. The enitre country is sick of woman making less than men in some jobs and laws already passed being brought up like some want go go back in time. Here is a big clue for you. Pay your child support!!!!! What makes any parent not paying think that the other parent who does pay and take care of their child is the bad person. When a child is hungry in need of shelter ect. The parent doing the job doesn’t have the luxury to say oh im gonna miss a payment. You should have to pay interest. You took from Your own children by getting behind. And yes things happen in life but the amount many of you owe shows you didn’t take care of your children in the least for a very long time. What a bunch of cry babies trying to avoid responsibility and blaming others. There is no war on men. Good dads who take care of their kids, spend time with them and pay their support are appreciated and nobody is fed up with them. Raising a child cost way more than any of the back support many of you are crying about owing. Calling a lady bitter because she called out those NOT responsible. And yes a dead beat mom deserves no respect either.
Really have you ever got behind on anything? Try having interest compounding to the point that you will never get it paid off then oh by the way you will never get any tax money,you can lose your license even though in my case every other year I was supposed to claim my daughter but i never got to. I called and asked about that and they say well go get a lawyer like I have the money to do that. I only got behind a little by the way but will never get it paid back. So continue to call us deadbeats while you go pop a kid out for more income
Modifying child support arrears of an adult child.
My ex-husband is over 60,000.00 in child support arrears for 2 children. He had not paid child support in over 12 years and the children are now adults. He had recently been approved for Social Security benefits and his checks are being garnished by the Child Support Enforcement Agency $157.00 a month. What is the procedure for modifying the court order arears when the children are now adults.
They normally don’t modify the past due support.that ship has sailed
It don’t matter if he live with you guys now. If ur husband was doing what he was suppose to do as a father. He would have known where he son live at. Another thing if the son didn’t live with the mother than your husband need to pay support to who ever were taking care of him. In my eyes he need to pay every dime.
Kim you sound very bitter.Speaking from experience,some mothers don’t want fathers to know where their/her children are.So they move away and remarry.All the while filling the kids heads with lies about their father.We fathers have to not only battle these women,but also a system that discriminates against fathers.It’s called “Indentured Slavery”. For whatever reason some fathers get behind on support,we should not have many of our civil rights taken away.
Gerald, you are a special kind of stupid. If you were a man, you would have helped financial provide for your children instead of not paying or simply complaining about it. If you helped support these children instead of dodging it, it would not be an issue. This world sure is full of scum.
Paul, have you ever dealt with the Child Support System? I could give you a myriad amount of stories that should, if you were a man, give you pause to think before you condemn those of us that complain. I’ve never missed a payment, which equals a third of my earnings, I get screwed on taxes, and I still provide most of my kids clothing and necessities because ‘Mom’ refuses to, all with the courts backing because the support is considered, by law, ‘Her money’. Walk in our shoes just a bit. Not every divorced or single father is a deadbeat. Most of us are getting screwed by a system that discriminates.
Maybe she has good reason, not all men are bad supporters! It’s the ones who jump as soon as they are told to support. Knowing where their kids are and not making efforts to be in the child(ren) life. Both parents have that obligation to support, it’s not a fair system either if the system fails the parent taking full responsibility when the other goes AWOL. Sometimes court is the last resort! Thumbs up for those parents that support their children without an enforcement in place. I’m going through it right now, on the receiving end. I’m getting close to getting nothing while on the system and my ex is planning to quit work to avoid paying what he owes in arrears and hide! Got to show the love, be persistent and the child(ren) will know, understand and make the choices some day to be in the other parent’s life or not. I believe karma watches all the time! You get, what you give.
Exactly I appreciate your professional and fair assessment of the system. The real question what can we do to fix the unfair judgements against the non-custodial parent?
From my experience and the other 460,000 people the state of Texas say they owe child support would you believe in this state the OAG is proud that collected over $ 30 billion, I guaranteed it was calculated on inaccurate records, how do you fix that they smell blood
Hahaha, and you sound bitter also.
Every bitter, I’m not a man,a mother who was absence in her children’s lives for 1 year. Only because my mother died my only living relation was out of state in the army took his last leave day for the furanal. And after 15 years of marriage it wasn’t pretty. So I owe 330,000 for 1 year.I’ve spent 30,60,90,120 in jail for contempt of court. If he dies do I still owe. By the way the youngest is 25. Un-fricking believable.
absolutely right, my husband is not the bad guy, the ex split up with him, she kept the daughter from the family until she was 16 and then there were times when she had her living with relatives… it annoys me so much to hear people always blame the dads, it is not always the dads to blame, we owe back support and it is the interest that is killing us the arrears would have been paid if not for those… the ex is a multi millionaire and will not settle, can we get the interest waived??? does anyone know? people need to stop being so bitter and realize that all dads are not bad, my step daughter comes to us for the love and support she never and still doesnt get from her mom… people leave dads alone, you dont know the full story…
But all of the things that can happen to you when you fail to pay court-ordered child support, like losing your license, or having your wages garnished, or being denied a passport—all came about because too many parents who were ordered to pay child support failed to pay it. Many of them went on to have other children and then whined because they can’t take support their new brood and the ones they left behind, also. If that happens to be more fathers than mothers, then police your own group and you won’t have such problems.
If it getting support yourself, maybe u should take grammer lessons
paying arrears, to child?
Recently my husband has meet his 20 year old son for the first time, he know lives with us and his new family, he has stated that he has NOT lived with his mother since the age of 16! can we look into this and get 2 years of arrears taken off? Also can his rent and expenses be taken off our back support, or is there a way to pay his son the money or even the step-father that supported him rather then a mother that is bi-polar and not stable.
first off my kids mother ran off with my kids when they were ages 4 and 1 married and had three other children, i guess things got rough for her and she filed support on me when they were ages 17 and 14. state went back five years on me which i thought was not fair but at any rate i caught up and paid until i received a letter stating my obligation was over, two years later i received a letter saying there was a mistake and i was in arrears for the past 2 years and now i owe 7,000 and change due to interest at no fault if mine , now garnishing my S.S check 150 a month will take me 8 years to pay wiw !!! also if a mother is on welfare how do i own her anything, when i. and everyone else working is contributing to that check what support has she paid ? if i have to pay arrears it should go to the state not her she doesn’t deserve a dam penny…
My husband deals with it..she brought him into court and told the judge he is a deadbeat and doesn’t pay the support..the judge looked down and her papers and looked at her and said he does pay every week..what I happening is you get state benefits. So the child support he is paying weekly you are not getting it directly from DOR. The rude b$t*? Inturepted with the so yea if he doesn’t pay then obviously I won’t get it. Ha well that upset the judge she put her whole business out there! She goes “well this man pays weekly and since you have decided to have two more kids and no job the Money goes to eaither your section 8 or food stamps or the cash benefits that you get” obviously his ex argued the fact she wanted cash and she wanted more a week…judge said she can’t change the fact that the state takes it and puts it towards say housing…helping keeping a roof over the child’s head is supporting his child. And she was denied a rise in support because she was not working and getting so many benefits..
The child support will go to the state if she has in fact collected welfare. Also if you have the letter stating you were done paying child support then take it up to the child support office and show them. If they refuse to do anything, file a motion to see a judge.
The courts are going to side with the OAG any way I have the same problem
This child support system is not fairly justify.
We needed child support reform. Your wife/husband left you and took your kid(s) away, should it be your responsibility or his/her to take care of them. If he/she don’t have the financial to take care of them, he/she should return them or left without them in the first place.
So you were a deadbeat dad that made your wife struggle raising your two kids for years upon years and now your crying about how your life is harder? Ever stop to think about how hard her life has been for the past 14+ years raising your kids? Quit crying and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Hey, Those are her kids also, not just the Husbands. She should have thought about that. Don’t you know a human falls out of a woman’s $&&%^$& and steps on her dreams !!
It’s funny the term dead beat dad when women choice to go with someone else. Do meth and your kids are getting straight f’s in school. We live in a corrupt society. The majority of the money is for the state. It is so illogical to make it where you loose your licence, your right to a bank account, your constitutional rights, it is a form of discrimination and a corrupt government that allows such corruption. It nice if your from old money and can pay it like it nothing. But some of us have are not in the top 10 percent of society. Oh we can hire you because you don’t have a license. Well I wish there was another country I could go to. To bad it cost millions of dollars to denounce your citizenship. More prisons are being build to hold people in dire straight for money. Isn’t it funny they take your money and if you can’t pay they make money off of you while you sitting in jail. Also they want you to come to court to take away your right and give you jail time. We’ll I’m educated maybe seating on your butt all day is getting to your head. This system sucks. I think women need to treatmm nen better than they do and stop cheating. This is the case in my life. Also i went to the child obduction agrncy crying that my child was stolen they didnt csre because i was male. They said why did i wait a month. I am so sick of thr service driven industry. Because the coirt system is part of this system. Judging is fine but one day you will be judge by the higher power. I will be happy to see you in heavem when that occurs.
Strange that in this free country we adopted a system that is communist for the purpose of the state gaining monetary value by any means possible. I just wanted a family and had a nightmare a relationship where I was cheated on and the women sold my kids and it okay. Thank to this corrupt sustem. I have been paying for about 3 years straight and they want me to go to court. Whatever oh and I have to be respectful to someone who is not respectfully to me. Child support is civil not criminal you corrupt injustice individuals. Is country has gone to the crapper. Child support is communist. It origins are from Russia. Not Germany, Germany was a Socialist society.
Also a lot of judges are put in ofgice by corrupt politician no wonder they ate so calisly bias to the general public. The consitution that you promised to support you violate. So why are these judge still judges. Because they are part of the corrupt system. For the people is not putting them in poverty.
Oh and another thing the shoe was put on the other foot and I never got a dollar from the mom and I beat she not going to court to get her rights taken away.
I’ve been paying taxes since the age of 12 I think I would be better off being disabled. I’ve herd there is a high rate of suicide of father who have their right taken away and have to pay child support all their lives. Land of the corrupt and home of the poor.
Randy, same identical thing just happened to me 1/20/2016 in Putnam County, Indiana, by far the most corrupt crooked evil criminal agency in the Midwest. I emancipated my children last May. My ex too had an affair on more than one occasion. I got behind because I had an ssdi case that took 5 years to get approved. The judge has me paying for kids up to 27 & 25 years old not in college. The oldest living with me since he was 18 and the middle was locked up in prison for 5 years at the age of 18. I would will have over paid by 20000.00 by the time it’s paid off. I only owe about 6000.00 I read the Indiana child support guideline and it said nothing about a court order. The system is full of fraud. I am a 61 year old man with various health issues, but I have vowed to cost that county as much money and grief as can possibly be administered, and expose them for the demons and “DEADBEATS” that they are!
your kids were sold?and you are clueless to life. your kids are where they are bc of you. quit blaming others for your failures. its clear its your fault by how much blame you have put out without one ounce of fault to you. good luck feeling sorry for yourself. i suggest you man up and take care of yours
You need to be on the receiving end and walk in a noncustodial shoes. You know nothing of decency. You only see entitlement! You know nothing about the positions these people have been put in. You see kids as a paycheck. Shame on you!
You didn’t no how her life was not every ex wife is some poor broke woman and. And not every man dead beat. Besides there her kids to. Maybe she loved raising there kids
Excuse me ‘Boo”, but did the wife choose to leave? Did she deny visitation? Are mothers incapable of taking care of their children? How about those Dads out there raising kids without a dime coming from mother? They survive. The system is flawed.
I have no Pity for thoshe Parents don’t pay their child suport those poor fatherless children that go without for years .things that they need. At times going hungry. If they choose not to be parents and don’t want to pay child support..dont want the responsibility then they should.. operate them self. there are many dead beat dads out there.. they deserve no pity they deserve exactly an extremely what they get. The same thing goes for the woman that abandons their children. my son passed away and he didn’t have the decency to even come to bury him. as far as I’m concerned if they don’t pay they should be in jail. They should put a chip on their neck like a dog .. because that is truly what they are.. I’m sorry if my comments offend you ..The issue here is the child not the parents they shouldn’t have to go without period when parents are having a time of their life and acting like they never had children. reality check wake up and smell the coffee you should have paid your child support on time that’s what happened with the on responsible parents they lack understanding oh what a parent is. I lost my Child and no one feels that more than me..
If the mistake is on the State’s part and you can prove that you don’t have to pay it, then definitely go to court and have your say. If you received that letter stating that your obligation was over and you knew that your children had not reached the age for your obligation to cease, then you have to pay it. You may be able to get a court to deduct interest if you can convince the court that you truly believed that your obligation was finished. You are going to need a good lawyer.
I read all this and some write calling scumbag father’s cause of getting behind in support. I get it and I know all about the bitter. My ex to this day will do whatever she can to drive my kids from the truth of our split, it’s all about me and how I failed and she was just perfect. Iv paid over $100,000 in support and still owe another $50,000 in back support and that’s 2 children. I’m just a blue-collar welder and iv worked my rear off to make sure I could keep support going to my children and never even tried to lower it because I didn’t want to take away from them. Now doing this ment working multiple jobs, side jobs and even donating plasma sometimes to make ends meet. We’ll obviously this has taken loads of time away from spending with my children. So she likes to use that as dagger cause she knows how much it hurts. Now I have no problem supporting my children, I wouldn’t have it anyother way but when is unfair for the state to charge the 300 percent rate of interest or whatever it is because how can $20,000 turn to $50,000. Anyway all you that like to bash on father’s and call them deadbeats cause they owe back support, just make sure you know the story. And yes, to the crap father’s who won’t work deliberately so they won’t pay, really!! Cause that’s how it is with my step children so I know all about that to.
Well said friend!! I’m doing the same thing, looks like im not the only person that works multiple jobs to make ends meet. Its hard sometimes.
And I’ve worked multiple jobs to make ends meet while my children’s father worked only when he felt like it—or when he couldn’t mooch off of someone else—and hasn’t paid a cent of child support or even bothered to contact his kids since 2006.
I applaud the mothers and fathers who work so hard to raise their kids without support from an absent parent—and I also applaud you fathers and mothers who work hard to make your child support payments while parenting less than full time.
Those who shrug off their parental responsibilities are scum.
Curious as to what the answer is to your question, have you heard anything yet? I am in the same situation and would like to know as well if I could just pay it to him and not her.
everyone just get a cash paying job believe me I owe $60 thousand and never pay taxes and I keep all my money my wife works she’s on mybside about the shitty child support system we file married filing seperate because if you file joint and you owe back child support they take her refund as well to pay towards what I owe and that pissed me off she works so hard and for what nothing