Jekyll and Hyde: Dealing With The Ex (Part 2)

By DadsDivorce.com reader Big D

Note: This is part 2 of a two-part article on how to deal with your ex-wife. Part 1 gave advice for divorced men on how to act when times are good and when they’re bad.

Reality Does Suck

My experience has been that when your ex-wife is nice, she is up to something. I can’t say it is always something related to you, but up to something somewhere in her life.

For example, recently a friend of mine who is divorced has been getting “really nice” emails from his ex-wife. She has been nice to him for about 3 weeks. Then, he receives a letter from the court indicating that his wages have been garnished, although he has been paying child support on time every month and in full!

Her lawyer went behind his lawyers back to get this completed, moving in the direction to the next step; taking him back to court for more child support. He is going back to court next week!

Another example is from my personal life. I was about to get married after nearly 5 years of being divorced. The entire month before my wedding my ex-wife was sending me very nice emails and texts since we don’t verbally talk…ever! She knew of the wedding as both of our children were in it.

Then, when I was going to pick up the kids to fly to the destination city, I was served with medical, dental, and insurance papers none of which were really valid. She was just trying to get under my skin before the big day.

The key here is to remember that the woman that you communicate with does not really like you. She really wants you to suffer and when she is nice, it typically means that she is setting you up. Just know that and be prepared and be consistent in your communications with her!

 

Summary

Being consistent during your divorced years with your ex-wife is essential. When she is in a good mood and acting nice toward you, don’t try to manipulate her, ask for favors, or do anything crazy. If you do, she will notice it immediately and pay you back in some way!

I don’t mean to say she will every time, but there is no reason for you to chance it. Just be yourself all the time. Don’t be mean, vindictive, angry, malicious, or anything. Just be yourself and get the job done! You will be thankful you did in the end.

 

Note: This is part 2 of a two-part article on how to deal with your ex-wife. Part 1 gave advice for divorced men on how to act when times are good and when they’re bad.

Read about more real-life divorce experiences and divorce advice for men in our series Divorce Survival Training.

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