Should I File For Divorce First?

New Jersey divorce lawyerQuestion:

The divorce advice book “The Ten Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce” emphasizes men filing for divorce first.

My wife has moved out and said she is going to file for divorce but has not done so yet.

So should I take advantage? Will it benefit me more if I have my divorce lawyer file for divorce first?


I am unable to give you legal advice on divorce. I can give general divorce help for men, though, my knowledge is based on New Jersey divorce laws where I am licensed to practice.

Where I am licensed to practice, the only legal significance of being the person who files the complaint pertains to equitable distribution. The equitable distribution statute extends from the date of the marriage to the date of the filing of the divorce complaint.

All marital assets and debts that are subject to equitable distribution are valued as of the date the divorce complaint was filed. Thus, by filing the complaint, as the Plaintiff you preserve the end of the marriage for equitable distribution purposes.

Otherwise, there is no legal significance to filing first. But there are other advantages.

If you chose to file first and your case proceeded to trial, as the Plaintiff you would get to tell the Judge your side of the story first.

You reference Cordell & Cordell co-founder Joseph Cordell‘s book, “The Ten Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce.”

Mr. Cordell suggests taking an offensive rather defensive approach. Since it appears that you and your wife agree that the marriage is over, this is certainly a good strategy for you.

The divorce process can be very confusing as there are a multitude of issues that will need to be addressed such as alimony and equitable distribution. Further, since children are involved, child custody, parenting time and child support will need to be addressed.

Therefore, it is important that you seek the advice of an experienced men’s divorce attorney who can explore with you all of your legal options and rights.

Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than divorce tips for men, so please consult with a divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Christine A. Dolan, contact Cordell & Cordell.

End of Content Icon

One comment on “Should I File For Divorce First?

    Most women do cause most divorces as it is these days since they’re usually the ones that file for divorce first unfortunately.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *