When guys get married, their identity tends to commingle with that of their spouse. That makes coming to grips with who you are as an individual especially challenging in the wake of divorce.
While you were married, you and your wife shared a house, family, friends, possibly a church, probably some common interests and activities, and a number of other things. Now that you’re divorced, you must rediscover what makes you you.
Dr. Deborah Hecker is a divorce and relationship counselor and author of the book, “Who Am I Without My Partner: Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your Self.” She joins DadsDivorce to discuss what guys need to do after divorce to rediscover their identity and start the next chapter of their lives.
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It might even be a great idea to not only look at yourself and reflect as to how you contributed to the breakdown, but also to watch old videos and look at photos of yourself BEFORE you were married.
I remember seeing a video on a new years eve, only a few months before separation and I did not see it at the tie, but that video had a a very dark aura to it. the feeling was just not right. It sent shivers down my spine, as if I had seen it as I saw it after I watched it (long after the divorce), I could possibly have redirected the path it was heading.
Looking at pre marriage photos and videos of yourself and then to ask, “What happened to that guy?! How can I meet that guy again??! How do I get back to him?”, would then be now asking the right questions, as it will bring maturity and clarity to the situation.
That is just one divorced and happy guys opinion.