It’s no secret that divorce is naturally combative. Even in amicable divorces, there are usually at least a couple items of contention between the involved parties.
Unfortunately, many divorcing couples are terminating relationships that have turned toxic, which can make the entire divorce process a complete mess. Divorce is hard enough when both spouses are earnestly trying to come to an agreement that is fair to each party. When one side is doing everything they can to make matters difficult, it becomes an all-out battle.
Duane Ellison is a father and a survivor of a toxic divorce. He runs a website and YouTube channel dedicated to helping others survive a narcissistic divorce with children. He discusses why it’s important for dads to keep their cool regardless of the other party’s actions and why a toxic divorce can take quite a bit longer to recover from than a traditional breakup.
The only way to stop the continual persecution of an ex spouse, especially a narcissistic one, in divorce proceedings is to object to every lie, investigate and counter with proof what you can prove in the earliest stages of a divorce and above all – make them show the Court proof of their allegations. I watched one Judge be taken in by the abusive ex wife and cost the ex husband thousands of dollars of money on pure “we think”. They of course never produced any proof but yet he paid dearly. The Florida Judge was rude and abrasive to the ex husband’s attorney while he helped direct the abuser’s attorney. Be prepared in Family Court; it happens.
Ask for their evidence and make sure it is recorded in the transcript that there is no proof to back up the false allegation; especially if you have to appeal.
Most often the lies are to destroy your character in the eyes of the Court and they will and never flinch as they create they stories. Mediate? How can you receive a fair and equal outcome with a Narcissist? An abuser in every sense of the word? Fight back. Fight harder. If you gave them everything it still would not be enough. Sometimes a mediation just doesn’t work. Unfortunately.