She wants her boyfriend to come stay with her at the house on nights she has parenting time with our children, which I am completely against.
Do I have any say in who can or cannot stay at the marital home while I am still paying for it and my name is still on the mortgage?
There really isn’t any legal mechanism by which you can stop your wife from having her boyfriend stay over the night while your children are present, especially in light of the fact that you have not yet filed for divorce.
Even if you have already filed for divorce, the fact that you pay for all of the mortgage/housing expenses does not give you a separate right to filter who comes in and out of the home. You have also apparently agreed to allow her to remain in the home, which further makes it more difficult to prevent her from having guests over, including her boyfriend.
Presuming that you and your wife jointly own the home, she has an equal right in the home and like you, can have guests over at her own discretion. Note that if your wife’s boyfriend threatens the safety or welfare of your children, then you, through the court, can certainly get involved and take action to try and stop him from coming over.
However, since this does not appear to be a factor in your case, your only recourse at this time is to request that your wife does not have him stay over due to the reasons that you mentioned.
I suggest that you at least express your concerns to your wife in a calm and non-accusatory manner and go from there. Quite possibly, if your children are also concerned, you can advise them to speak with their mother about the issue as well.
Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than divorce tips for men. Consult with a local divorce lawyer for specific legal advice on divorce.
To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Jennifer de Lyon Stralka, a St. Louis divorce lawyer, contact Cordell & Cordell Law Firm.