Stressed From Divorce? Don’t Quit Your Day Job

divorce stressBy Nathan A. Hacker

Indianapolis Divorce Lawyer

Divorce is likely one of the most stressful times in your life.

The picture to the right lists the 25 most stressful events in a person’s life, according to StressAffect.com.

It’s probable that you are currently experiencing at least one of, if not several of, these events currently.

If you are going through a divorce (#2) in all likelihood you are also going through a separation (#3), there is a change in your financial state (#16), an increase in arguments with your wife (#19) and presumably trouble with the in-laws (#24).

If you add up the scores associated with the stressful event, that’s 240 stress points.

Notice that the second most stressful event is going through a divorce. Divorce can cause you to contemplate getting rid of the everyday stress of work and do what you always wanted.

After all, the real reason that you wanted the big job was to impress the girls so one of them would marry you, right?

Don’t lie. Most of you reading this now, like myself, have dreamed of doing the “Man Vs. Wild” thing and surviving out in the wilderness with your Rambo knife and a book of matches.

Now, if you quit your job, that same girl you were impressing so many years ago won’t be able to collect her alimony and child support that seemingly is funding her lifestyle.

If you are having these thoughts of taking advantage of your newfound freedom by quitting your job and leaving your worries behind, then believe me when I say you are not the first and will not be the last man to do so.

This has happened enough times that there are actually laws regarding such activities. These laws are designed to prevent people from quitting a good-paying job in order to pursue a fantasy life of sleeping outdoors and eating what they kill.

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And, while I am sure that you would be quite comfortable sitting on a warm beach somewhere with a few changes of clothes and a fishing boat, the laws have been designed to afford your children – and to some degree your spouse – the lifestyle they had become accustomed to.

The way this is done is courts impute income whether or not it actually exists. For example, a dentist who was making $200,000 a year prior to his divorce with two kids in elementary school and wife who is not working, would have to pay around $400 per week in child support depending on the state. That’s roughly $20,000 annually.

stressed out divorceIf you fall behind on these payments you begin to accrue an arrearage that must be paid off. Most states, in keeping with federal mandates, have enacted criminal penalties for those who fall behind in their child support payments.

So now let’s look back at that stress score of 240 points for the guy going through a divorce. If the man is also planning on going off the grid and moving to paradise, then whether he has been fired (#8), retired (#10), or just changed his line of work (#36) there is additional stress.

Going off the grid is going to lead to some sexual difficulties (#13) whether it is desire, performance, or frequency for an additional 39 stress points. If you have gone off the grid, numbers 20 and 21 relating to the mortgage are also going to be an issue unless she gets the house.  In either case, it’s at least an additional 30 stress points.

Then there’s the kicker. When Johnny Law eventually catches up to the “Man Vs. Wild” wannabe there’s a whole new “wild” to be conquered: see number 4 (jail) for an additional 63 points.

Now, none of this is meant to scare you or frighten you or stress you out.  I hope it actually made you chuckle at how ridiculous things have gotten for some poor souls who fancy themselves Bear Grylls.

Having said that, it is important that you not cause yourself to lose your job or just quit outright. Things are stressful enough for you right now anyways. If you get laid off or if your job gets moved and you have to take lower paying jobs to stay near your kids, then that is not the same.  Talk to your divorce lawyer and work out your best option.

But if you are getting divorced and your wife wants alimony or rehabilitative maintenance as well as child support, you will be better off drudging through that no-good, soul-killing, salt mine called your day job than to quit.

 

Indiana divorce lawyerTo set up an appointment with a Cordell & Cordell mens divorce attorney, including Indianapolis Divorce Lawyer Nathan A. Hacker, please contact Cordell & Cordell.

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5 comments on “Stressed From Divorce? Don’t Quit Your Day Job

    my son married in 2003. Both he and his wife were addicts, alcohol and drugs. He has been clean now on all, for 9+ years, but his wife still is. She left him in 2014- he has texts, proof of her infidelity. She left him a long text describing her mental instability, to which she states no one is to blame , not any incident even.. but that she struggles with darkness and evil that takes over her throughout her entire life, and she. an’t control this! I read it! He has this text from her and his attorney does not want him to submit this info to court????? When she found out that the judge was going to reduce her 50% alimony, she threw a fit, cursed at the judge.. who loudly repremanded her.. and told her on their third hearing, to get a lawyer then. She did, and all of a sudden a barage of outlandish false abuse stories arose. No prior mention. My son has never abused her nor the children. She has no proof.. other than she has convinced his children now 16 and 19, to go along with her. Her drug tests came back positive for weed.. ( big deal now days right? Does anyone know how expensive weed is? I have no idea.. but in some of her texts.. she asks someone how much an ounce was and the petson quoted $200. ( their son accidently left his mothers phone at my sons house, and the info on it is unreal! talks about hooking.. high proces, offers a service.. etc.. ) they’re 16 yr. okd son chose to live with ber! But he is a high functioning autistic! Can’t handle matters of the heart! the judge gave HER CUSTODY, even before her allegations of abuse started!! He goes to school 1 day a week, and gets stoned with his mother on a regular bases! The judge wouldn’t order a drug test on him when my son asked him to! Hearings are set.. he wants to submit this letter she wrote where she blames no one, and there is just darkness and evil in her, and his attorney is not going to!! WHY?? This is the smoking gun that explains all she is doing!! WHAT IS WRONG WOTH THE CALIF. JUSTICE SYSTEM? AND HIS ATTORNEY?? He can’t afford another!! He has proof she is harrassing him at work on his work phone, alerting him a dozen times a day.. gloating, and his attorney wont ask for a testraoning order or aprise the judge of this! he’s been put on notice thT he is going to lose his job!! what is wrong with this sustem. This is Joshua Tree superior court, Ca. ??? Shouldn’t her confessed letter be submitted along with my son’s declaration introducing these texts from her? Talk about a sick minded woman!

    By the way… I’ve wanted to quit my job for the past 2 years. Before my divorce. I thought my job was making me unhappy and realized nope. I’m actually being abused heavily at home. Once I got divorced 6 months ago, I felt immidately more myself and recognized many, many, many signs of trauma and abuse in my behavior. Now I can barely go to work it makes me shake and sick. I’m being heavily abused at work too. I think I should quit. I keep waiting and seeing if its the right decision… But despite the divorce, I think I need to quit. Abuse is abuse, no matter when or where. One should not stand for the abuse of ones self.

    What if I’m a woman. I was abused in my marriage quite severely both emotionally and psychologically. I am now realizing that I have been dealing with high abuse at work too. Several people have quit since I began my job. The most recent person quit without notice after a bad incident. I work a high powered job as an assistant and have sufficent savings and 401K. Should I quit and take a few months to heal? I feel pretty battered. Cant sleep. Cant eat. Lost a ton of weight. Dont want psych meds and dont want to waste money on psychologists (Ive seen plenty in my life thank you). I dont have kids and I dont have a mortgage. My monthly bills are low and I hate my job so much I’d rather kill myself. Does this change the fantasy reality at all? I think its just reasonable that I decided to move on from this job as well…

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