When you go through a divorce, there should be no rush to jump back into the dating game.
It is extremely important for you to take an appropriate amount of time to heal after your breakup and think about what it is that you want in your next relationship. Many men look for quick rebound relationships after divorce, but these are best avoided, particularly if you have children.
It’s tough to say how long you should wait before dating because every situation is unique. You’ll want to make sure you’ve completely moved on from your ex, determined what kind of person you want to meet and are at least somewhat excited about meeting someone new.
Once those boxes are checked, it’s probably safe to put yourself back out there. But… how do you do that? There’s a good chance it’s been years since you’ve actively dated and you might not have a clue where people are meeting these days.
Dating after a divorce can be a little intimidating, but here are some tips for divorced dads to meet women.
The biggest problem divorced men – and really, all men – have when trying to attract women is maintaining their self-confidence.
Your marriage failed so you might worry there is a stigma attached to you, but the fact is somewhere between 40 to 50 percent of people divorce, so there are plenty of people in the same boat as you.
Dating coach Kimberly Seltzer writes that some women actually prefer to date divorced men because it shows he’s capable of being in a long-term relationship.
At the end of the day, you have to be content with the person you are individually before you can make another relationship work. Have faith in yourself. You have a lot to offer a partner. If you believe that and trust yourself, women are going to notice.
Try online dating
With the rise of social media and online dating apps, there are more ways to meet people than ever.
According to Pew Research, the number of 18- to 24-year-olds using online dating has roughly tripled in the last three years. This isn’t just a young man’s game because use among 55- to 64-year-olds has doubled in that same time.
One study even found that one-third of married couples in the U.S. meet online.
Tinder, OKCupid, and Hinge are three of the more popular free apps people use. Paid sites like eHarmony and Match.com tend to attract users looking for more serious relationships. There are even sites made specifically for people who have gone through divorce.
Develop new hobbies
You’re not going to meet someone unless you’re out and about. So use this time to develop some new hobbies that will help you expand your social circle and meet like-minded people.
Join a gym or volunteer for a non-profit group with a cause you’re passionate about. You could also look into joining a Meetup Group.
Even if you don’t get a date out of it, you’ll still make some new friends and could end up developing a new passion. It’s a win-win.
The classic setup
Of course, you could also go the traditional route to meet someone. Ask your friends if they know of any nice single ladies they could set you up with.
Your friends know your personality and interests better than anyone, so they’re probably good at judging who you might click with.
Just let them know you’re ready to start meeting women again and to let you know if they know of anyone who’s available. You never know where it might go.
4 Tips For Dating After Divorce
The Dos & Don’ts Of Post-Divorce Dating
DadsDivorce Live: Post-Divorce Dating Advice
3 comments on “Playing The Dating Game As A Divorced Dad”
Do not follow the above advice!! One thing you MUST do, is become comfortable with your circumstances and in your own skin! Just live your life, go to the gym, go to the pub with mates or work colleagues – do not follow the stereotypes or join a group!! Sure go online dating, if you’re just looking for a few quickies or a short term relationship!! Do not under any circumstances think you are a failure because you’re divorced, there are many of us!!
Important, but not mentioned: get your butt into the gym! Do whatever it takes. Pay a personal trainer, get a notebook and log each and every exercise you do, and reduce your caloric intake (the hardest part). Your mind and body will thank you (not to mention a new partner or two…or more!).
And do not think too hard about what you want. Start with what you don’t want and be open-minded to new experiences and opportunities.
And whatever you do, never ever ever EVER get married again. 🙂
my three cents.