3 Tips To Help Divorced Dads Get Back On Their Feet

divorced dadThere are numerous challenges facing dads after divorce. Getting back on your feet is a difficult process, to say the least.

Many fathers end up with an unfavorable child custody arrangement that limits their access to their children. They also might be shouldered with significant child support and alimony payments that decimate their finances. And of course, there is the emotional anguish and turmoil of going through a breakup coupled with the breakdown of the family.

The combination of these hurdles result in an enormous amount of stress, which can lead to serious health problems. It is a vicious cycle.

Making sure you retain a family law attorney focused on helping men and fathers can alleviate a lot of these issues, but moving on after divorce still is a process.

During this time, it is helpful to take a step back and breathe to assess your situation. As harrowing as the divorce process is, it is not a death sentence. Life will go on. It might take some time, but you can find happiness again.

Here are some tips to help you get back on your feet after a divorce.

Be the best divorced dad possible

Depending on your child custody arrangement, the amount of parenting time you have with your children might be limited. Nonetheless, it is your responsibility to make the most of it.

Be as active and engaged as possible. (Fortunately, that is something modern dads are especially good at doing.) Do not fall into the trap of becoming a “Disneyland Dad” and trying to plan elaborate outings every time your kids stay with you. Instead, focus on the little but meaningful moments that end up being way more impactful in the long run.

Help them with their homework. Talk to them about how they are doing in school. Learn everything about their interests, passions, fears, and frustrations.

More than anything, being a good divorced dad is about remaining as present as possible when you spend time with your children.

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Take time for yourself

Although as a father your No. 1 priority is going to be putting your children’s best interest first, it still is important to take plenty of time for your own self-care.

Self-care means making sure you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. It also means partaking in healthy activities you enjoy that leave you with a sense of fulfillment. In fact, the days following a divorce present a great opportunity to develop new hobbies and explore new interests.

Find someone to talk to

A lot of guys have the natural inclination to clam up when they are going through something stressful or heartbreaking. They might be hurting on the inside, but outside doing everything to maintain an image of toughness or stoicism.

Keeping your emotions bottled up can have disastrous consequences. You are not weak for asking for help or finding someone you trust to discuss your issues with.

One of the reasons divorce is often harder for guys is because they are not as good as women at developing a reliable support group. If you are not comfortable talking about the details of your divorce with friends or family, you should consider enlisting the help of a licensed counselor or therapist.

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Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on CordellCordell.com, CordellCordell.co.uk, and DadsDivorce.com, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels. Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.

One comment on “3 Tips To Help Divorced Dads Get Back On Their Feet

    Good points. My kids are 27 and 23, young adults, living far away. The divorce is devastating for them also, especially my younger daughter, as she was exposed to her mom’s illicit sexual affairs. ‘Being the best Dad possible’ is not always easy as we as dads are working through our own losses. Quality time and intimate time with kids has proven key for me. They are looking for something firm to grasp onto as the family unit of the past no longer exists. This is an opportunity for us Dads to be a solid mooring for our kids. My experience, I have grown much closer to my kids through the trials of divorce.

    I am engaged in a 12 step group ‘Celebrate Recovery’, although I personally am not struggling with addictions. My ex had (still has) sex and alcohol addictions, and I am learning that I was very codependent in that tragic circus. The 12 step programs offer a place to meet people whom have or are currently going through situations nearly identical to our situations. Along with counseling, I find this as a means to deal with past pain and release what I can no longer control.

    Stay strong, Dads!

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