Father’s Day after you’ve gone through a divorce can be really tough, especially if the divorce was fairly recent.
If you find yourself in that situation this Father’s Day, it might be helpful to shift the way you think about the holiday. There’s a good chance you’re worried about how you’re going to celebrate with your kids or whether your ex might try to disrupt your plans. Instead, take a different approach.
Focus on fatherhood and what the future might hold for you and your children. What do you want this annual tradition to mean to your kids? This day should really be about celebrating the bond and love you have with and for your children.
Here are some other tips that can help you develop a rational approach to Father’s Day and improve the relationship you have with your kids.
While it’s understandable that you want to spend an enjoyable Father’s Day with your kids, worrying too much about how the day is going to go can have an adverse effect on the entire family. No matter how much you try to mask your feelings, children have a way of picking up on their parents’ emotions. If you’re constantly fretting, you’ll likely generate some negative energy that can cause anxiety for your children as well.
Take a step back and think about what you are feeling and why. If you feel you’re harboring resentment toward your ex, you need to commit to letting that bitterness go and moving on. That will go a long way towards helping you and your children to celebrate a worry-free Father’s Day.
You probably don’t want to focus on your divorce during Father’s Day, and now that your divorce is over you are probably eager to move on to the next chapter of your life.
However, your kids should always feel they can turn to you with questions they have or emotions they’re feeling about the divorce. Make sure your children understand they can always tell you how they’re feeling, even if they’re experiencing anger or other negative emotions towards you.
More than anything, assure them that you’ll always be there for them as their father, and prove it by your actions every day.
Remember it’s just a day
It is natural for you to want a happy, relaxing Father’s Day with your kids. You’re a great dad who sacrifices year-round for his family and you deserve a day that is all about you.
But sometimes we place too much emphasis on holidays and wind up disappointed when the day doesn’t live up to a very specific preconceived notion. Ultimately, Father’s Day is just one of 365 days in a year. It doesn’t define the kind of dad you are.
If you’re unable to spend Father’s Day with your kids, pick another day on the calendar the next time you have parenting time to do something special and celebrate.