My Wife Is Trying To Alienate Me Out Of My Child’s Life

parental alienation Question:

I’m a recently retired U.S. Army Veteran attempting to locate my missing daughter.

I have court-ordered visitation and phone calls authorized with my daughter, but I have not seen or heard from her since September. I believe her mother is attempting to alienate me out of her life despite the fact that I pay child support.


Wisconsin divorce lawyer Anne Scipior
Wisconsin divorce lawyer Anne Scipior

I do not practice law in your state. Therefore, I cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state and can only provide you with general tips on your situation.

In Wisconsin, where I practice law, the first step in a situation such as this would be to contact law enforcement and explain the situation and see if they are able to assist in any way. If your child’s mother has taken your child out of the state or out of the country without informing you, there may be federal and state laws that she has violated.

Additionally, in Wisconsin, when a parent has a court order stating they have certain rights, and the other parent is preventing those rights from being exercised, we can file what is called a “motion to enforce” or an “order to show cause for contempt.”

This alerts the court to the fact that the opposing party is not following a court order and usually results in a hearing being scheduled to determine whether the opposing party is violating a court order and what can be done about it. Motions of this nature are required to be personally served on the party whom they’re filed against which is difficult when you don’t know where the other party is residing.

However, most states have other methods of service available (such as publication) if the whereabouts of a party are unknown. Filing such an action in conjunction with working with local law enforcement will help to get both of these entities on board with trying to locate your daughter.

Another option would be to hire a private investigator or “skip tracer” who might have access to information or skills that would assist in locating your daughter and her mother.

Realistically, if your child’s mother is receiving child support, someone must know where she is, or her support wouldn’t be getting to her. I bet there is a paper trail somewhere that can be found.

Finally, as a Veteran, you may have access to certain legal assistance programs through the Department of Veterans Affairs and they may be able to assist you with this.

Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than tips on your situation, so please consult a domestic litigation attorney in your area to obtain specific advice as to the laws in your state and how they impact your potential case.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Wisconsin divorce lawyer Anne Scipior, contact Cordell & Cordell.

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5 comments on “My Wife Is Trying To Alienate Me Out Of My Child’s Life

    I live in dupage illinios. I am a father that has sole custody of my son. The mother actually took me to court to give me sole custody, after she tried to get an 2year order of protection agianst me for my son and herself witch was denied and vacated. any way I was willing of course to accept the sole & she nos i am a good dad. That was about a year ago. But now shes saying i am keeping her son away from her. Witch i am not, but based on others opinion please let me no
    *She never calls me to talk to her son but wen she does its at 1pm while hes in school or 11pm wen hes sleeping. then complaines that im keeping her son from talking to her, & wen he tryed to call her she would never answer
    *she doesnt come for four or five weeks then texts me that shes going to be here at the time it says on the visitation but im really not around, or its such short notice i already have something planned. So i try to reschedule with her but she says she wants to flollow the order only (i have it all on text). Dont get me wrong theres alot of times i tell her ok come.
    * but visitaion is for only 2 hours each friday 5-7 and im nervous to let him him spend the night and this is why.
    *she has 11 ppl living with her in a 2bedroom apartment
    *back in august last year he slept over twice during the weekend both times he missed school and 1 time not only missed school but it took me 2 weeks to get back his back pack from her and the teacher was so upset becouse his tablet was in there for school. mind u she is only 10 minutes driving away from me
    * this last time he slept over friday to sunday. Sunday i picked him up & he had scratch on his nose that has not been cleaned or taken care of the right way, altho his mother said it was becouse the other lil kid who lives with her at the house and my son got into a fight, my son says it was becouse while his mom was at home he went to the park by himself and some kid pushed him down. (my sons 6yrs by the way)Came home with the same underwear he went there in, never took a shower. Or changed clothes over there. Plus he had from wat a physician says rug burns on his arm pits. They were swollen wen he got home.
    * i have text messages to prove that she tried to pick him up with out a drivers lisence and no car seat a couple times. Well once she figured out i was not going to let him go with no car seat or a valid drivers lisence she started dropping him off like that instead.
    * i have photos plus videos of all the kids and grown ups underage drinking and smoking weed where my son is suppose to be cared for after she pucks him up from me i have them starting fights with young kids punching each other and not stopping even if the other is on the floor crying.
    * this weekend she was suppose to get him for mothers day weekend friday until sunday but im married and my wife had plans to go down to her families for the weekend. So we planned to wait for her to pick him at 4 then go but she texted my wifes phone that she would not be comming at four friday that 2marro saterday she would be there at 4pm. Well i never texted back, becouse she always does this she says shes comming and never shows up. Last time in october she said she would be at the house to pick up my son and my wife had arrends and she had him out there waiting for 15minutes with the bus driver. My wife ended up having to pick him up instead. so the next morning she called my wife 6 times and texted her 1 time even tho she has my number! My wife has an harasment charge plus threatning charge on her becouse she called and threatend her twice and admitted it both times with in 32 hours of both times. The first time my wife only made a report 2nd she sighned papers for charges.
    * my wife offered dropping him off for her & picking him up several times so the visits could be consistant & she has no way of caplaning but she keeps on saying “no”. So my wife stopped asking & i stopped asking her to reschedule her visits. I told her the adress of where i was for mothers day weekend so she could pick him up but she never called back or any thing.
    * should i text her back and ask if she wants to reschedule any way?
    * im not sure if i want to but since shes taking my son off her medical card i do kind of want to ask for child support, should i?
    * am i in the wrong?
    * do u think i could recieve no over night visits for her with my son with all the evidence i have?
    * i just dont want to loose custody, and do not want to look bad in front of the judge asking for child support from a girl, but i am starting my own buisness and its kind of rough with having to pay 300 a month for my sons medical plus rent plus food for my family.
    Suggestion please

    You could start with getting a different attorney if you are unhappy with what your $20k has resulted in giving you thus far.

    In most states, there is a state judicial commission that will take your complaint about a judge. Perhaps the judge can be removed from your case based on his previous rulings.

    Good luck

    Where can we dads go for help when our ex wife’s have told lies about domestic violence, child abuse and all sorts of other lies that make the juvenile and family courts take away our children. Is there any where to turn for help?
    My children were kidnapped from school in 2011 and we’ve been dragged through the juvenile and famy court system for 3 1/2 years (so far) and now the family court judge is soo biased against me I literally have no chance of getting my children back from their drug addict, alcoholic mother. I even have an attorney that I’ve paid $20,000.00 dollars to and because my ex stated to the judge I strangled her (and with no proof or evidence) the judge took away my parental rights. My lawyer thinks i got a good deal, taking away my parental rights is a good deal? I am not guilty of one single allegation yet my ex gets to parade around like she is some sort of celebrity. Her premeditated alienation of me in my children’s lives should be a crime and jail time but its not, these women get away with murder and are the abusers yet the courts give them our children. What can I do, where can I go for help, who can I talk to, why are the court personel so disrespectful and why doesn’t anyone there believe one word I say? I’m a U.S. ARMY VETERAN and held the rank of Sergeant and had a secret security clearance to include good conduct medals ect..etc… And the courts are believing my drug addict, alcoholic ex? Makes no sense
    to me. She was an absentee mother and the police even made her leave our house after placing a false call of donestic to them and she was loaded as well so the cops gave me my children and made her leave. The courts won’t even accept the police report as evidence. My children miss me soo much it’s killing me and for nothing, just because she’s mad. I have No where to turn…….

    My ex is keeping my son, a twin, from the lives of my children, as well as his twin brother, and myself. He and his lawyer are attempting to make the rules of visitations, where and how, and always changing locations and dates to do, I have court ordered visitations and rights to my son, but have been alienated, including visiting his school and learning that his step-mother is the parent, not myself as the legal mother, and they had no knowledge of me or his twin, much less he has other siblings. HOW DO I FIGHT FOR MY RIGHTS, visitations begin June 4, he is playing games with, and has money for an attorney and I verily make the bills?????????????????

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