By Daniel Exner
When your ex-wife violates the child custody or visitation order and denies your parenting time, many divorced dads wonder if they should immediately call the local police.
Unfortunately, enforcement of a divorce decree sometimes depends on the attitude of your local law enforcement and filing a police report for a custody violation doesn’t always lead to a resolution. Even after the report is filed, many dads are still left wondering how to get the child back from the non-custodial parent.
In general, there are two ways to enforce a child custody or visitation order: with police intervention or through the court with a Motion to Enforce.
A court order that mandates or prohibits conduct is typically executable through the police. For example, orders to arrest, seize property, or for injunctions, depend on law enforcement agencies to be effective. Orders for parenting time carry the same court authority and therefore are technically enforceable by the police.
There is, however, a disconnect between theory and practice. In many cases, police officers might be unwilling to get involved in a family law dispute unless the conduct rises to a criminal infraction (i.e. child abuse or parental kidnapping).
The police may tell you to take it up with the court. If an officer is willing to help, he may call the opposing party and demand compliance or escort you to pick up the children.
If filing a police report for a custody violation doesn’t work, you can always file a Motion to Enforce with the court. A Motion to Enforce tells the court that the opposing party has failed to comply with the child custody order and is unreasonably denying you visitation
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Motions to Enforce are conceptually similar to Contempt Motions except they must be heard within 30 days by law, at least where I practice. At an enforcement hearing, you can ask the court to:
1) reaffirm the placement schedule;
2) award you make-up days for the lost parenting time; and
3) order the opposing party to pay your attorney fees and/or court costs.
If you have any questions about filing a police report for a custody violation or how to get your child back from the non-custodial parent, get in touch with a men’s divorce attorney and they can help you figure out what steps you need to take.
Cordell & Cordell has men’s divorce lawyers located nationwide. To schedule an appointment with a divorce attorney, please contact Cordell & Cordell.
166 comments on “Violating Child Custody Orders: Should You Call The Police?”
I’m the babysitter and the dad stop picking up his 3 kids out of the blue i was there pick up and drop off I had to call the mom to come pick up her kids it’s been a year and we haven’t heard from the dad what should she do ?
In my case, we both have shared custody only she has residential custody.
The court order says in even numbered years the children will be with me from dec 24 to Jan 1 at 7pm.
She refuses to let them be with me, saying she will call the police on me if I show up trying to pick up the kids. She already took my thanksgiving time from me which was against the court order. Can I call the police and have them escort me to her house so I can get my kids? We are still sometime from Christmas, and I was just giving her the heads up that we have plans.
What if my courts doesnt say who got guardianship over my only child n court didn’t agree r judge sign of first petition is my child been iilgelly taken out of my life
My case is very complex and very difficult. My two boy’s were removed from me in 2011. Because of domestic violence. Social services have never helped me ever. I used to have unsupervised contact for eight years, 4 to 5 day’s a week, and once a fortnight sleeping over. Until my son’s behaviour condition got worse, as he got older he realised he wanted to live with me, which is natural I am his parent . And I tryed to get my boy’s back but that failed. Social services were very much against that, and always have been. Now the special guardian, has decided my oldest son’s behaviour is something, she is blaming me for. I and the children are now suffering. In March 2018 till the end of August 2018 social services funded supervisors. But they have not set any contact up, which states in the court order. Supervised by the local authority or third party or contact centre for 4 hour’s once a week . As it’s a private matter, I cannot afford to pay for a contact centre. I have gave the social services a copy of my proposed supervisor’s, 6 time’s via email, and they have ignored it. I have complained many times to the local authority, and to the M.P. The special guardian put a section 91 order against me for 3 years, not to put any application into court. I tryed to enforce the current court order for contact. That has been refused. And so has my appeal. The special guardian won’t even do mediation. I don’t know what to do. All I know is the special guardian says it’s up to the local authority, to set contact up. Then social services say it’s up to the special guardian. My last idea is to call the police as my contact order is in contempt. And no one is doing anything to help me see my two boy’s, I have not seen my children for 6 weeks. Can anyone suggest anything else I can do, to help me. Thanks. Christina Sapiano.
If I find anything on this same issue I will let you know but my boyfriend is currently going through exact same issue with his daughters mother
Im Going thru the same thing.. My ex and I have split custody and I haven’t seen my son in a month what did you do .. I can’t afford 4000 fora lawyer..
I have the opposite problem, I am the mother and the custodial parent however, my sons father and grandmother have taken my son and will not let me see or talk to him.
I’ve done everything to make this arrangement work including canceling his father from paying child support to help him out as well as letting him see his son whenever he wanted.
One day my sons grandmother (dads mom) picked my son up, made fun of me because due to an illness and months in the hospital I temporarily need a walker, she then belittled in front of my son she then took my crying son and left my home. Days later they made it known that they were not going to give me back my son or let me see him and are continuing to withhold my son in a home that his father shares with his mother and my son has to sleep on the couch or in bed with his grandmother. I even bought my son a cell phone and of course his grandmother took it. It’s his grandmother that wants to keep him from me and his dad goes along because that’s what his mom wants and she’s a hatful woman.
I did so much to ensure a good relationship and they took advantage and took my son from me. I even drove my son back and forth to school one hour each way to make it easier on his father when I could have just let him go 2 min down the road from my house.
It does not pay to work with the father, I’ve given more than most women and it did nothing other than to have his father steal my son from me and his fathers mother to tear me down in front of my son. The crazy thing is that the last time we were in court the judge told my ex that his mom needed to stay out of this and would not even allow her to sit at the table with my ex and here she is having more control over my son than me and his father together. As matter of fact, they live with my ex mother and she’s the one who takes care of and has all the say over my son right now.
My sons father is a minister, it makes me sad that his congregation doesn’t know what a monster he and his mother truly are.
Fathers are just as bad about alienating their kids from their other parent.
that is nole and void at this time no contract anything derived comes back to me 551913586 d1751740
I have a question for a friend of mine. He has weekend visits with his daughter that is court ordered well over the weekend while he had his daughter the daughters mother messaged him and said im dropping her things off at your house you need to keep her im moving out of state. Should he contact his lawyer to try to get full custody of her? Is this considered the mother abandoning her child? What actions does he need to take?
What if the grandparents allow the person to see their child even thou they sent allowed and falsely say they do not live at resedence and they really do
My bf has been denied his court ordered (scheduled) visitation by the mom. I feel like the judicial system is heavily unbalanced. I have witnessed the lies and it’s truly pathetic but yet it works in her favor. Court order is clear- kids go with dad every other Saturday and Sunday 9:30-6:30; mom is not to interfere or even call kids during dads time. Kids are allowed to call dad anytime. No contact between mom and dad. I (designated representative) pickup and drop off children at set location. However, reality- kids are with dad until mom decides not to let them go (after we just so happen to spend money buying tickets to an event for the kids), kids are not allowed to call dad AT ALL and dads number is blocked from contacting kids (kids stated to dad mommy said we can’t call). If dad tries to enforce through lawyer and courts, the police arrive with mom charging dad with false claims which must be investigated and unfounded but nonetheless another tactic delaying visitation. Mom places son in a mentor (father-like) program on Saturday afternoons, dad must take son to meet a man that then takes him to walk the mall and have lunch for 1 1/2 to 2 hours out of the 8 he is given for his visit. If the son doesn’t want to go to the mentor or stay with the mentor for the entire duration, soon a summons arrives with mom stating that dad has somehow violated…back to court he goes until it’s thrown out because the court didn’t order the mentor program. The system is seriously flawed.
My daughter’s father just came on her life 3 years ago, but out of those 3 years she only seen him 4 times. On her 9th birthday, I allowed my daughter father to spend time with her. He never bought her home and wont allow me to speak to her. I tried contacting the local police department but they told me because we don’t have custody document in place, he has rights to the child although he haven’t been taking care of her. I went through legal aid for assistance but they are taking forever to send a court date. It’s been 2 months and I don’t know what’s going on with my kid. How is it that the state allow an absent parent come and just take a child like that? There must be something I can do.
The courts don’t care about children & neither do the money hungry lawyers who trick you into thinking they care. Take matters into your own hands. Courts don’t enforce contempt and don’t hold anyone accountable. If I had it to do all over again the courts and lawyers wouldn’t have been involved and I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble. Do what needs to be done and done worry about the worthless, lazy laws. No one will help you or hold him accountable. Don’t be scared by court, opposing counsel or police. All they have are scare tactics they never follow through on. Go rogue.
I have to agree with Linda above. The divorce system is a farce that nobody wants to deal with. This includes police, banks and anyone else dragged into the ugly procedure. The judges seem to be the biggest kids and have their rulings overturned by a silver-tongued highly paid barrister or bully. It’s a very expensive coin flip or was in my case.
My X ignored all court rulings and still does.
Mine is still doing so. I was a stay-at-home dad for 7 years and now I am being kept from my daughter without explanation period in Ohio the courts are not father friendly at all I’ve even had a social worker tell me that they will always side on the side of the mother unless there is direct drug abuse involved around the child. I’m helpless to do anything. Being a dad is the best thing I ever did. It is being removed from me and she is being poisoned against me. Stop doing this to mothers and fathers people oh, it is not okay at all
Very bad advice.
Wow, sorry to hear that. You need a good lawyer.
Go to wherever she goes to school at. The school has to have legal documentation on file as well from the court in order to be able to tell you that you cannot see her. It’s as simple as that. I would have the police go with you to the school.
the school where mine is refuses to comply as well the police say file in court no one cares about court orders here where I am at I have not seen my little one in almost a month now… I feel like unless I do something it will be even longer but what? it is unbelievable
Couldn’t you have filed for emergency custody? Maybe if you told the judge you haven’t seen her or spoken to her and you are concerned for her welfare. They will award temp custody immediately.
That same thing happened to me. My ex took my son while we were still married and disappeared. I called the police and was told “sucks to be you” I got my son back, but ever since, I tell every woman I know, married or not that has a child, to get a custody agreement in place. It doesn’t hurt but it sure does help when things go south. Be prepared.
Try to get an emergency custody order before he does.
You need to go today to the court pay 160 for emergency custody they will give a court order rght away
I’m in the same boat u have to go to ur local court family court file a petition for full custody ..an you’ll get a up in coming court date..bring proof child has been with u since birth. An go from there it takes a few court days but its worth it an they assign u a attorney for free if u can’t afford one ..good luck may god bless your situation
I live in fairfax with my sever year old daughter and there is a court order for visitation for her dad to pick her up every other week. As much as I talk to her and try to tell her to go with her dad My seven year old is very scared of him and she doesn’t want to go with him.
the forst time he came to pick her up he scared her even more by saying things like your mother is going to strangle your sister and that he was going to call his police friends that alone intimidate and scared more my child so she was crying snd begging me to take her home with me.
As a mother I suffer with all this and i can’t force her to go, but under this circunstances i got no other choice but to keep her and shelter her is my duty as a mother to protect my child well been and her dad is only causing pain a griev with his behaivor.
I dont want to get in trouble either with the law but i need to protect my child whqat should I do?
Gabriela Miller, you need to mother up and encourage the relationship rather than sabotaging it. There are two sides to every custody issues. You can say, honestly, that you haven’t done disgusting things to your ex?? Doubtful. Shame on both of you
My Husband and his ex girlfriend do not get along, they have a 10 year old daughter together. My husband is suppose to get his daughter one day during the week and every other weekend. His daughter is now at the age where she says what she wants. She will not come over on her dads days anymore. we think that the ex girlfriend is encouraging her to tell her dad that she doesn’t have to come over if she doesn’t want to, and when we go over there to pick her up she throws a fit and wont get in the car. We can’t just pick her up and put her in the car because we are scared she will freak out and she will end up getting injured. The ex girlfriend will not help make her go. we don’t know what to do anymore, is there something legal that we can do?
My kids dad won’t let me see or talk to my kids for four months and I have tried everything but no one is helping me to get my kids back.
I just wanted to reach out to you. I’m in the same boat, except I am mom. My teen son said he wanted to try living at his dads, and I wanted to show him I supported him, so I agreed. I also thought this decision would take our son out of the tug of war. I was wrong. My son is now doing the same thing your step daughter is doing, refusing to come to visits, even sending me hateful text messages. Parental alienation is what is causing this. We have a court date and mediation date coming up, so I’m going to ask for things to be set straight again. You have to do the same thing. There isn’t any other way. Your daughter needs counseling, but there also needs to be a psychological investigation for parental alienation, and an enforcement order. The only way to stop this is to find a way for your step daughter to spend as much time with your husband as possible, and some kind of order that limits moms power to sit back and encourage such disrespectful behavior.
I’ve had to resort to going to my son’s school to see him, since that is the only way “I’m allowed” to see him. When he’s away from his father, he’s happy to see me. I take him our for a burger and spend a few minutes with him, or sit with him in the school office for five mintues and then leave. At least this way he sees me present and knows I care for him and love him. I drive 1.5 hours to do this. He is my priority. Don’t give up. Document everything. Make a police report each time your husband’s ex doesn’t compel your step daughter to come along. Bring a police officer as a witness if they’ll come.
I have primary custody of my son. We got in an argument last night and he ran off and called his dad to come get him. I went over there this morning and they wouldn’t let me talk to him. My ex’s wife told me we are handling this today! I said I will end up calling the police but don’t want to have to do that to my son. So, I am going back over there this evening with my mom coming with me. I just want to talk to my son. And I don’t like him being over there with his new wifes son who has been abbusive to my son and has been kicked out of many schools. My son got mad becasue threre was an unopened beer can on the table (which was leftover from this past weekend, and I didn’t have kids that weekend.) If I had my kids that weekend and I was drinking and driving him around well okay.. But, I was kidless that weekend. So, I am at a loss what to do
Them not allowing you to see your son is against the law, call the police at least to bear witness. This is parental alienation… go back to court and get your son into therapy!! I’m a custodial mother going through the same thing.
Hi i have a 4 yr old ,
his dad just recently Came back into his life 3months ago , he keeps saying hes gonna call the cops on me if my son isnt with him at 1pm we do have a court order im just wondering
i tired to be civil still since hes been absent and letting him know that he came back outta no where and is ordering me basically threatening me but if i told him to days ahead i have work and can not take my son at that time but later can i go to jail for that and will that be taken as me violating the court order even tho i tried to call two days ahead and he has not responded nor bothers to answer my texts explain why
If you have a court approved parenting plan then you are legally obligated to follow it. If you think that the parenting plan is no longer in the best interest of the child; then you are free to file a motion with the court to have it changed. Why is this so difficult for women to understand?!
It’s not difficult to understand by women or men for that matter as there are fathers going through it too. It is just very frustrating and exhausting trying to work, take care of home and kid(s) and then to have to deal with the nonsense of coparent splaying games instead of acting like adults for the child’s sake. That’s the problem now and who knows how far back it goes probably since before we can imagine. Parents don’t think about the fact that they aren’t hurting each other with games they are hurting their child and in reality teaching them how to handle life when they grow up this another gen aeration if playing games instead of raising children. Children are humans that deserve to have a good loving two parent relationship if the other parent is alive, capable and well enough to show they can be a parent. Children did not ask to be here we made them come here and it’s our responsibility to make them see that life is fun yet serious at the same time and to take it and run with it because you only get one chance at it. So do it right the or don’t bring children into this world.
I am a woman and I completely agree! My boyfriends ex wife doesn’t like the new transportation arrangement after she moved four hours away. She got a job three weeks after the order was signed that requires her to work weekends and she did not drop off the kids for visitation last weekend. Her excuse was that she “has a work obligation”. A work obligation? How about the obligation to your children? It’s sad she feels work is more important than her kids relationship with their father. Funny thing is, she said “Some people don’t understand the concept of a court order. So over the BS.”
Offer to pick the children up. She has to work to pay for thing’s for her children, so yes. She has a work obligation. If he wanted to see his kids badly enough , he would offer to pick them up when she can’t drive them to him. It is that simple.
you do mean MEN AND WOMEN right that find it difficult to understand
It’s not always “women” Mike. I’m the custodial mother of a teen son who’s been alienated against me over the course of his entire life by his father and his father’s parents. I just wanted to help stop the trend of thinking only custodial mothers alienate.
To Rayna: Do not let your clinically narcissistic ex pull you into a power play. These psychopaths feed and play on emotions and last minute changes in an effort to create chaos and confusion.
Follow the court order
Go back to court and report he’s been absent and ask that the order be adjusted accordingly.
Don’t let him get to your emotions, or create last minute chaos.
Don’t try to explain yourself, only speak or communicate with your narcissistic ex information that is absolutely necessary. Think before responding.
Ignoring his tantrum is the very best thing you can do.
Get your child into counseling asap. Your ex is going to start alienating your child from you.
When your child comes back home and says mean things to you, stay calm and know that it’s just your ex using your child to upset you, and if you loose your temper, you give your ex what he wants.
I can completely relate. I try to get confirmation on things and can’t. It is in broken code. I also offered to split the holiday into two complete weeks, but my ex did not want to do that. Furthermore, I have just learned from my 14 yr old daughter and 15 yr old son, that every night they are with their father, he leaves them overnight in his apartment and goes and spends the night with his girlfriend at her apartment on the other side of town.
Or Men??? We have a Court Ordered Parenting plan. Wants to change it every week to accommodate his drama. It states Location and Time with a 20 minute window (by the time we got to final parenting plan I knew what I was dealing with). Not that hard!! But intentionally returns kids at the very last of the window. Has even sat across from pickup location till he’s at the last of the 20 minute window. Wants to use visitation to control me.
You unfortunately have to make every attempt to get your child to his other parent according to the schedule on the court ordered or mediation agreement for visitation days and times if the time is documented. It is very unfortunate he isn’t answering his phone or returning your calls but there is no law stating he has to answer or call back but there are laws in place for not following the visitation schedules it will be considered kidnapping if you don’t take the child or have someone else take the child or offer for the child to be picked up from your house ir when you arrive at work. You have to give every opprtunity and if that then fails you can address it in court. I’m a single mother going through a bad case now so I understand your situation completely. Your child’s father is doing what he knows is going to piss you off but at the same time isn’t breaking the law. I wish you luck
Hi, my sons father filed for full custody a couple weeks ago and it was denied. The court wants to do a investigation. 3years ago I became homeless so I told his father to keep him until I got a home, after getting out of a shelter 3months later I had a home again, but when I tried to get my son back his father would only let me spend the night with him at my mothers house and only let me get my son when he wanted to get him, it’s been like this the whole 3yrs. And my mother died last year so he won’t let me keep him overnight at all. Only lets me pick him up for a couple hours. This whole time we have had joint custody and he never gives me my son when he’s supposed to. I know I should have went to court and filed something letting them know he wasn’t giving me my parenting time , but I was scared, we used to have a abuse relationship. My question is will they give him full custody or will he get in trouble cause he’s been violating our order and playing mind games with me.
I have been in your shoes. My ex made me keep my kids at my moms (even though the court order didn’t say that) then he just wouldn’t let me see them at all. Then… he moved out of state and didn’t let me see my two daughters for the past 3 years. He was a mental abuser, and won custody of my daughters because I couldn’t get the nerve or money to stand up to him 11 years ago. My 15 year old daughter attempted suicide a few months ago. No one told me, until my poor daughter snap chatted me, saying her Dad will be mad if he finds out she talks to me. We don’t talk on the phone, we don’t email, nothing. He won’t allow it. She is obviously crying out for attention from me, that I haven’t been able to give her. It is completely devastating to go through something like this. Please don’t let it go 5 or more years like I did. Please go to a lawyer and take him court. I had a lawyer tell me last year I let too much time go by and it’s too late to do anything about it now. It says he will have to give you back that missed time and pay your lawyer fees, so don’t be scared. My order says I have visitation every other Friday-Sunday, but this still happened to me!! Your child needs you. Don’t let some monster convince you otherwise. Much love and God Bless You.
Better get your butt back to court. There’s little sympathy for a former abuse victim. The court will not likely advocate for you, in fact they will see you as a weak person if you don’t do the right thing and come to court to enforce visitation. Also, I’m really confused how it’s possible that you have a court order that says your son is to have overnights…. and then your ex only “lets” you have your son for few hours…
Are you willingly going along with what he’s demanding?
if so, WHY?!
If you have a court order that says overnights are allowed, then just ignore your ex and give him back your son when the overnight is over.
You have to stand your ground and enforce your full visitation, otherwise it just looks like you didn’t want the time.
My son’s father is in and out of my son’s life, never knows what days are his and now that my son is in high school and has even less time to go with his father he filed police reports every time my son told him he had practice or school-related activities to do. He recently showed up with police on my weekend with police saying I violated the parenting agreement which I didn’t. I don’t know what to do about him constantly filing false reports against me. The police blindly follow the reports as if they are true and are extremely hostile. I am afraid one day I will be arrested and my son will see me hauled off in handcuffs….what can I do?
My son’s father is in and out of my son’s life, never knows what days are his and now that my son is in high school and has even less time to go with his father he filed police reports every time my son told him he had practice or school-related activities to do. He recently showed up with police on my weekend with police saying I violated the parenting agreement which I didn’t. I don’t know what to do about him constantly filing false reports against me. The police blindly follow the reports as if they are true and are extremely hostile. I am afraid one day i will be arrested and my son will see me hauled off in hand cuffs….what can i do?
Hello I have a 11 month old daughter who’s father is not in her life. He denied her while I was pregnant. Wasn’t there for her birth. Never signed the bc or affidavit of parentage. He hasn’t help with her at all. I have done everything since day 1. Now that everyone sees her on FB and says how pretty she is he wants to come get her. Our recommendation which I objected to is that he can come get her on certain days but he has threatened my life and my daughters life. I tried to get a ppo but it was denied for lack of evidence and the judge said that he said those things because he was mad. Smh. He abuses drugs and sells them. We have a court date for my objection on August 15 2017. He sends the police to my home on his visitations to come get my daughter and I refuse. Do I have to keep answering my door for the cops to tell them the same thing every time. We already had a contempt hearing on this and his motion was denied but he keeps coming with the cops.
good give him his child u selfish women
I’d like to know if my ex has custody over the kids and the parenting order mandates that he list me as emergency contact and put me on file so I can get all medical info. for my children. My ex violated that multiple times and isn’t even informing me of our childrens’ medical needs. Despite the order clearly instructing him to do so. Can I call the police to have this order enforced?Thanx for response. Good Luck w all!
I don’t know the for sure details about the comment you posted this too but let me ask you and anyone that agrees a couple questions and answer honestly I’m not trying to argue I just want to know how people think these days.
1. Do you have a child or children or a niece or nephew or any child period that you would die for?
2. Would you willingly let that child be put or left into a place or environment that would cause them harm or cause them pain or sadness?
3. Would you yourself want to be that child that was released from your care to only be beaten, yelled at , ignored or possibly killed by another individual hat you have been repeatedly told was your mother or father?
Think about it. Even if it is only accusations possibly not even true there is a thought that must arise that takes over your mind and body that will make you say oh my gosh did I do the right thing by letting my child go. If something were to ever happen to that child who you let go of with that thought in the a k of your mind would you be able to live with yourself?? A real parent feels those emotions and had those bought. If a man or woman abuses their current or ex mate or spouse why wouldn’t that person abuse the child that isnhalf of that other person? The chhsnce is always there be real come on now be honest it’s ok to agree with me and disagree. I just nee honesty from people like yourself.
Stupid smart phone sorry for typos
Why would he threaten his babies life if he wants to see her? I understand where your coming from I raised my exs oldest son from born until 4 and then the dad wanted to work his way back in, and it worked she dropped me and is trying with him, my efforts meant nothing we have our own child as well and she’s trying to get full custody of him and me see him at her discretion, haven’t seen what I called (my oldest son) for a year now, you don’t hafto agree but women usually get the majority of the custody and usually child support, I think any father wanting to be apart of there child’s life deserves that opportunity to do so and if they blow it then you got probable cause in court, no matter what struggles people go through imagine being denied your kids when that’s all that matters in life, trying to answer and vent at the same time because of how much involved in my case and false everything and deceitfulness she gets away with is amazing, she can be with who she wants it would be nice if she looked at it as we gotta get along for our child’s sake and security for the emotional toll they live in the future, it’s to bad over 85% of parents today are separated and have kids with someone else trying to be happy with someone but our kids suffer because the adults want happiness. Don’t understand why people can’t just communicate and get over the temporary emotions because it makes a permanent effect in the children’s life’s
I hope this worked out for you !
My exwife and I have a 50/50 no child support agreement. But last year she took 4 months off being a mom. And now she is doing it again. Also she is now performing solo sex webcam shows from her home, although she claims not to do it when he is there. She wants to see our son 3 weekends a month on Fridays and Saturdays. Is this contempt of our parenting plan? And if so should she be paying child support and should I hire a lawyer to try and get full or more custody?
Yes, get back in court ASAP. File for a modification and document everything.
I’m currently in a situation where I haven’t seen my son in a year for his father ( who has custody) tells me no I cannot see my son or tells me I should ask the god mother if I can see my son even though the god mother hasn’t any custody of the child at all! I was granted visitations through the courts and every time I saw my son his father always told me how long I could have with my son! I thought the courts made that determination! I paid my back pay child support and I still cannot see my son! Even when I couldn’t afford the support I couldn’t see him due to his father!
My boyfriends sons mother. Wanted to take a break from being mommy and she got him over one night out of those four months and only wants him on holidays. She s saying something bout coming to get him the 30th. But, she got served by him and we lice in Michigan and he’s scared she’s gonna take him and not being him back. Can he get into trouble from withholding his son.
I have an issue my daughter father has not been in her life for about 6 years we had a child support order made when she was 1 he recently came back around and is waiving his order around demanding his rights all of a sudden my daughter does not even know this man and begs me not to send her with him he has called the police on me twice the first being I didn’t send her the second time I did..she comes home and tells me she never wants to go back and begging me to not send her I have no idea where to even start. How do I go about not sending her anymore what do I do ?Now when he is ready to be a dad he flosses that support order around.. Not to mention he owes me like 10,000 back pay he doesn’t pay his child support.. What do I do????
Support has nothing to do with visitation. If she truely does not want to go and you do not think it is her best interest to go, do not send her. Go to court, file a motion to strip any and all visitation. What does your current custody/visitation say? Is it specific in times days? Not being invilved for 6 years can be considered abandonment. Thus, you can use that ti establish that there is no parent child relationship. If it isnt specific, then let him take you to court.
I am in the same situation. I plan to get an attorney, im sick of him thinking he has some power of my 15 old daughter that hates to be with him! He threatens with the police to but I’m ready to fight back in court. My daughter shouldn’t have to deal with the threats and harassment.
My husband and his ex were never married , he pays child support and we have been to court already over custody. The mother had us jumped and beaten bad, well when it came time to court she lied . Said it never happened and she pressed charges on me saying I was at her house trying to jump her ? We were told to meet her there and get the child. But when we got there 4 or 5 men beat us in the car. – well we have joint custody now and on the 22 of may we will court again for full. We have proof she lied on stand . We have it from her own mouth. And also a confession from one of the men who jumped us saying he did it .
– now he and her husband and getting a divorce and she took him out of school and he’s been with us for the past 2 weeks. She has no job, she has nothing. She’s been in a hotel for all we know because she hasn’t called to check on the child. Well last night she told my husband it would be 3 weeks before they had her “so called apartment” fixed ( we do not believe she has one ) and for him to stay with us. She filed all kinds of harassment charges on her husband and told us not to let her husband talk to us or the child , if he did let her know because she had a restraining order against him, for her and her two kids . So the child has been with us. SAFE. Now today she demands us to bring the child to her today! We have an attorney but can’t reach her . My husband does not want to take the child back because he has no idea what’s actually going on. And that family is very violent . We are worried that she’s not telling the truth like always. We are from MS, and they have joint right now with her being primary because we live 2 hours away from her. Since we have court in the next few weeks do we have to return him to her ? We don’t want to get in trouble and that be used against us but he is not safe wherever she is at. Can anyone help ?!?!!
I have two kids an 8 year old and A5 year old on April 26th 2016 me their father and their paternal grandfather went into an agreement stating that their father and I would have certain visitation in their Eternal grandfather would have custodial custody what the grandfather is refusing me my visitation rights or even a phone call I’m in the custody order it states that I am to have their school records their medical records I’m to be notified when they need emergency care he is not complying with the arrangement it was filed in Virginia the judge in Virginia seen it and signed off on it neither of us live in Virginia their paternal grandfather has ever lived in Virginia their father no longer lives in Virginia and I no longer live in Virginia if the custody Arrangement papers was not filed in a North Carolina Court are they still legal
I don’t like any one here now
Bridge way re. Group home
Sorry but I’m not sure I agree with you. These custody papers that are presented to police are typically copies of copies. No way to verify that the papers are valid. Custody papers are not filed with any law enforcement agencies that I’m aware of. What would the police arrest for if it came down to the wire and the parent refused to comply with what is written on the custody papers?
Here’s my suggestion. If you feel it necessary call the police and have the incident documented. Immediately call your lawyer and report the violation. The issue can then be taken before a judge and ruled upon then. Police will try to work toward a peaceful resolution on scene but don’t expect a NC police officer to arrest just because little wasn’t returned on time. Won’t happen.
The UCCJEA clearly intends that law enforcement officers should be involved in custody cases only under the most extreme circumstances. This statute, along with the appellate court reluctance to recognize general authority on the part of the trial court, indicates that orders for law enforcement involvement in civil custody cases should be avoided except when necessary to protect a child.
Funny how the remedy’s don’t include ‘Contempt of court’ and/or jail time like they do if you miss a child support payment. I would like to know if any mother was put in jail for playing around with visitation, the way men are routinely put in jail for not paying state sponsored extortion payments
To Mike….Extortion payments????? This is for you …
Ask yourself, aside from financial assistance, what else are you doing?
When is the last time you trimmed tiny little fingernails? Do you wake up before the sun rises to make sure your child gets on the school bus? How many hours do you spend each week helping with homework, and are you paid to do it? Are you holding your child’s hand at doctor appointments, and paying the $35 copay? How many meals do you plan, purchase for about $150 a week, prepare, serve to, and clean up after other people on a daily basis? How many nights lately have you been woken up multiple times because of your child’s nightmares? Do you know the name’s of your child’s friends, and how many play dates do you host at your house weekly, going through 3 $5 boxes of snacks in a couple hours? When is the last time you did 5 loads of laundry on a Saturday, paying for the soap and hot water and dryer sheets, and then did another two loads for good measure on Tuesday when a blanket was covered in vomit and crackers? How many days of work have you missed because of your child’s runny nose, and did you get paid time off? Do you know what stuffed animals they can’t sleep without and how they like their apples cut into slices without the skin? How many night lights do you have powered on each and every single night? Do you know how many $39 boxes of diapers and $12 boxes of wipes a toddler goes through in year? When is the last time you bought and baked a birthday cake and wrapped all the presents and paid for all the party supplies?
How many bathtubs full of hot water do you pay for in your house each month? When is the last time you had to remember yet another password to log into a school website and pay for your child’s $1.50 per day school lunch allowances? How many packages of $12 toilet paper do you buy in a month, or tubes of $4 toothpaste, or bottles of $2 hand soap? When is the last time you changed multiple sets of bedsheets at 4am with a screaming, crying child needing you to make them feel better? The last time you bought a $9 bottle of baby tylenol, and sacrificed everything on your to do list including sleep, just to monitor a fever and be prepared for an ER visit and accompanying copay? Do you know what insurance your child has? Do you know the name of their doctor? What about the name of their teacher? Did you send in 22 separate gift bags that cost $20 for the last class party? Do you know what size shoes they wear, and when is the last time you bought them a $20 pair? When is the last time you paid $15 for your child’s haircut? When your child’s last tooth fell out, did you play tooth fairy and have the cash to do so? How many $5 bottles of children’s shampoo have you bought lately, or how about $6 boxes of dish detergent to run the dishwasher nightly? How many career opportunities have you given up or failed at because you put the priorities of your children first? When is the last time you buckled multiple carseat straps before you could run to the store for a couple of things? How many $3 gallons of milk do you buy weekly? Where are you when your child needs to clean their room, or they spill spaghetti sauce all over their third outfit for the day and need to be changed?
Where are you? Are you doing these things, and if given the chance, could you do these things 24/7? Would you be able to do it alone, relying only on the income you could find time to create, and not paying anyone else to raise your kids or taking time off to attend their school events and teacher conferences? Could you do all of this alone? Are you doing any of this?
What are you doing?
Oh, that’s right, you’re working so hard. Never mind the fact that you’re underworking to be able to say you “can’t provide” what you should. You’re working so hard, when you feel like it. And you’ve got needs too. You have an electric bill to pay and you need gas for your car, you’ve got to eat, and you’re trying to save for that vacation because you deserve a damn break. And when you only have so much left after that, why should you send “your” money to “help” the mother of your child? It was her choice to be in this situation, anyway, right? Maybe she should’ve just put up with your abuse, addiction, affair-filled, or just unhappy relationship, she wouldn’t be a single mom now. Maybe in a few weeks or months, if you make a little extra cash, you could decide to be so overly generous and send a couple hundred dollars. Not because you’re legally obligated but because you are such a good guy lavishing your children with all you can spare, and you’re doing all you can, and she should be grateful you even want to help, right?
Do you know what you’re doing? Where are you in the grocery store when someone has to tell your child no, they can’t have the poptarts with cartoon characters on them? Where are you when someone has to tell your 2nd grader they can’t afford to buy a $25 yearbook this year? Why don’t your children deserve new clothes, and trips to the expensive kid’s museums? Why can’t they join the clubs they want to, or attend the summer camps their friends are going to? Do you know how ever present you really are in your child’s life, simply with the gentle daily reminder that they live in a one income household and must make sacrifices? Why can’t your children grow up with a mother who lives a comfortable life? Why can’t they have a mother who doesn’t try her best to hide the anxiety in the house that comes from never knowing when your next payment might be? Why can’t they have a mother who allows herself to splurge on things like mascara and yoga pants that don’t have holes in them, instead of knowing she has to put every penny towards her children? Why don’t your children deserve a vacation on spring break? Where are you when your child breaks a favorite toy and someone has to tell them with a broken heart that they won’t have the money to replace it? Where are you when someone has to snap on the 5th reminder in a night to please turn off the lights, or when someone has to tell your child to wear the same jeans again to save on laundry costs? What are you doing?
You’re defending yourself. You’ve got all the reasons why you are only doing what you can, and why the mother of your child doesn’t really need your help anyway. You’re sleeping well at night, and still carry that feeling that you’ve been treated with injustice. Everyone knows you’re a damn good father. You could raise your kids better than her anyway, right, all alone without help? And heaven forbid she start dating or have a boyfriend, isn’t that his problem who pays his damn water bill then? You didn’t tell her to move in with someone – she should be doing it all alone like you tell everyone you would be able to so perfectly and effortlessly.
I just want you to ask yourself that one question: Do you really know what you are doing when you refuse to send child support? Do you realize just how much you are doing to your child’s quality of life and wellbeing of their mother, just by doing nothing? Do you realize that no matter what happened between you and the woman you once loved enough to have a child with, that you are still responsible for the financial stability of your child and supporting the person who is devoting her entire life to raising your child? Not because you’re being generous, or because you got paid a little extra to spare like you’d toss to a homeless man on the corner, not because a court ordered you to do so, but because it’s your responsibility without expecting praise or over-the-top thank you notes in return. When is the last time you told that woman thank you for everything she does in a day for your child? You are not entitled to a thank you for providing financial assistance required for the basic necessities to raise your child.
Raising children is not a game of narcissism and rewards for good behavior. This shit is exhausting, and they are half your DNA. They are not only yours to claim when you’re showing off how they have your eyes and how you treated them to ice cream one weekend. The rest of the world might take your side, they might reassure you when you fish for attention on social media, that you are doing the best you can. You might have perfected the image of successful, over-worked man with only the best interests of his children in mind. Too bad they don’t know how many months of support you’re behind in, or how your children have become nothing more than an outstanding debt. Their mother’s pleas for help and financial assistance have become nothing more than another creditor blowing up your phone and not worth your time or cost. And just like every other bill you put off until it’s shut off, you’ll continue this route because nobody else knows right? No matter what, they are “your” kids and you have rights too, right? Who cares if you aren’t supporting them?
Dear father who won’t pay child support, I think you know, deep inside, that you’re wrong. If only you could see what you’re really doing.
I can definitely say I fulfill your shoes and add to all of that, dealing with a mother who besides taking child support, lies to the state and still collects welfare! PLUS!!! have to continuously talk to the child and make sure she doesn’t fall apart mentally because the mother is bad talking to the whole gang of friends about dad. I think all of your statement above, applies to both, a father and a mother. In my case, it does apply to me as a father. This family law system is so messed up! it generalizes a FATHER as the B side, mommy as the A side. I am going thru hell, navigating the web, hoping to find some help as a father but its so impossible….
I had to go thru 2 false accusations of domestic violence and proved to be innocent. STILL!!! I have to struggle with the darn mediator to believe my requests based on my baby’s best interest.
I can simpatize with “Mike” because I am sure he didn’t give a detail reason of his “Child support issue mentioned”
First all. How in the world do you know what anyone does with their time? You sat and wrote a whole book about the things you have to do for your own children, well honey; you are not entitled to an award. You decided to have those children and are now obligated to care for them. Not to write books online about what it cost, whether time or money to take care of your own kids. SMH. You do not know everyone’s circumstance nor can you pass judgment on those who have opinions of the child support system. I actually agree the system is garbage and favors women. I have seen this time and time again. Who is to say what a father or non-custodial parent does with their time and money when they have the children. Who are you to count what he/she does with that time and money? I think you are just upset your children’s father doesn’t pay the amount you would like for having to do all the obligated things for your children. That is between you and the man you once loved enough to open your legs and have children for. Not everyone else online
Who gives him help when he has custody or visitation with the kids does the mother of the children give him weekend allowance to supply the needs as much as you need for kids. Do you call the Dad and let him know that you’re going to the doctors and they need his dad does it to six and study show that children without Dad’s are five times more likely to become on successful and high-risk pregnancies.
Oh my Goodness. I THINK I JUST FELT A BRICK OFF MY HEART. SOMEONE BESIDES ME GETS IT. I HAVE 4 DISABLED KIDS. THE FATHER TO MY YOUNGEST SON TOLD THE JUDGE IN OSHKOSH WI “WHY SHOULD I PAY SUPPORT THE CHILD GETS ASSISTANCE ” I HAVE BEEN DRUG THROUGH THE MUD FILES MOTIONS THEY WON’T EVE N LOOK AT. MY CHILDREN REPORTED ABUSE NO ONE HELPING MY HOUSE BEEN ROBBED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CONSTANTLY. THE DAD WAS NEVER AROUND. WEN I FILED FOR INCREASE ON SUPPORT AFTER 15 YEARS YOU RETALIATEDRETALIATE BY FILING FOR SOUL CUSTODY SOUL PLACEMENT YET HE HASN’T BEEN AROUND. I I CAN’T AFFORD AN ATTORNEY 250 AN HOUR LEGAL ACTION HELP. HE HAS AN ATTORNEY AND THE GAL is bias. When you wrote this as I read it I started to cry. I didn’t feel alone anymore. My son as I are in danger no one’s helping. I wish we had help.
Oh and my son refuses to go on visits because of all the abuse. Now they are threatening my freedom. How do you take a 6 ft 5 160 pound 17 year old in a car ad force him to go somewhere. My kid runs then I get blamed.what do I do
You just caught yourself in a lie. if your children are disabled they can’t run away. Obviously the father filed for custody because you’re running a scam.
Do you suffer everyday missing your child? Is your child on your mind at night and you can’t sleep because it hurts so much? Are you at work and can’t concentrate with sadness striking you? Half the time my son’s mom won’t even text back when I try to see him. No I’m not a bad dad I help with many other things above child support. The only time I feel great is with my son. I do all the driving on my dime never any help at all. I walk everyday with a hole in my heart. Now what will you tell me?
I am going through the same thing and iy sucks. I had to check myself into a out patient hospital
Mike though I am a mother who been falsely alleged of child neglect and substance abuse by a covert narcissist father of a 18 month old child I couldn’t stop my tears reading your post it felt like u poured out my heart. The pain we endure every second that consuming us like termites in wood where the wood looks untouched, solid and new from outside whereas it’s been consumed whole a long back yet we walk those empty miles with tear in eyes n hope in heart reminding ourselves each second no we r still here n we r still alive but y doesn’t it feel like I am alive? This pain of a million death everyday can’t be bared anymore!!! I think n think n think while I witness dawn become dusk n dusk become dark black empty night then it turns to dawn again right infront of these eyes…. how long can a human survive this????
I feel exactly the same way,only my situation even worse,my ex took kids away without court permission,now she won’t even let me talk to them,she lies to a judge. The judge ordered her to give me kids for thanksgiving week,and Christmas 2 weeks. She’s 1000 miles away. Won’t let me see my kids,even talk to them on the phone.i didn’t see them 7 months now,didn’t talk to them in last 3months .have no idea if they ok. It hurts too much. And I’m paying child support, got her a car . And she sold our house,never gave me my share,move far away,lied. You know,I couldn’t even do something like this to my worst enemy. It’s beyond cruel. Now I’m asking court for full custody,might get it,but I’d have to get help from law enforcement agency to enforce it.and it’s different state. So I’m hopeful to get my kids.but you never know. It’s just awful and my heart hurts every minute.
Many men do all of that on their time. And many more men would love to do all of that if the woman would let them have the children 50/50. But that isn’t the way the system works. Sometimes women keep them from that because once they see what child support would be (while they choose not to work) they say “oh no I couldn’t possibly live off of that! I need full custody.” And then spend the next however many years not taking proper care of their kids, not working, infringing on father’s parenting time, controlling, withholding, meeting large family medical deductibles in February (with nonsense doctor visits), etc. All while playing the martyr. Some women don’t allow the men to be parents and then love to claim they just do it ALL. All while going back more and more for child support, medical, etc , all while not working at all, but not caring about the fact that he has to live at poverty level and can barely afford to have them and do things with them.
Spare all of us your woe is me diatribe. It’s insulting to Dad’s that actually did more than 50 percent of what you are talking about during our marriages. The Dad’s like me that want 50/50 instead of every other weekend, and miss our kids so bad when they are gone our hearts ache.
You want to know why most woman won’t give father’s (that want it) 50/50 custody? It’s so you woman like you can play the “I do everything card.” And most of all it’s because you all know you are pocketing a majority of the inflated child support you are receiving and not spending it on the kids. I asked for 50/50 custody and she flat our told me that would mean it would cut her child support in half and she couldn’t live. Is it my fault she pays $2,200 a month in rent, drives an Audi Q7, likes to shop at luxury stores? Hell no it’s not. But she is the first one to throw all the horseshit in my face you just slung on here. It’s sad and pathetic. Most of us Dad’s were involved in our kids lives before a divorce took place and dealt with all of the above.
Any mom or parent out there that is putting her financial situation before the kids and denying 50/50 custody is just scum.
Now go get your $4 bottle of shampoo or whatever it is, you know it’s actually $3. Maybe if you do that enough you can spend the rest on yourself.
Are you sure you’re really aware of the entire situation? I would gladly take my girls most of the time, or all but only if necessary, and she can keep all of her money. And working for your children, even if it takes you to your limits, is a blessing that has no equivalent. I hope you’re getting help but you sound as if you’re as oppressed as can be. If you’re not loving every minute of taking care of your kids then you should let someone else take some of your time with them off your hands. I wish I could still have some of the “burdens” that my ex took so nobly for her herself. My girls would be better for it and she could live more of the “more appreciated” lifestyle she deserves. I changed the majority of 3 girls worth of diapers and never regretted one. Each change was an act of service and love and things only got better from there. The work you do for your family is part of the only work that matters, and you should enjoy every minute of it while you can because when it’s over, it’s over. If a former spouse can’t see what they are missing in not caring for their children, it shouldn’t be a focal point for criticism because it’s a tragedy for everyone. Now what were you saying about a vacation and your “damn break”?
Bravo, dear. Bravo.
you are not someone to gt advice from fathers do the same as mothers. Not all dads do but neither do all mothers dont be bias in your responses shows bad character and makes you seem unreliable as a truth source..
Wow Dawn…..that was an amazing reply. You hit the nail on the head in every way! Bravo!! You should publish that as an “open letter to my children’s father”.
DAWN: Many men would LOVE the opportunity to raise their children. But the mothers won’t allow it. Stop whining and complaining that you’re a victim and gracefully acknowledge the wonderful GIFT that you’ve been given. The BLESSING of seeing your child nearly every day and raising them. If raising your own children is such a burden, then sign custody over to the father and pay him child support instead. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
But there are men who do give up. And believe it or not, there are Mother’s, like me, who have ALWAYS tried to make things better for the children/father relationship. But you can’t force something that the father doesn’t want or doesn’t care enough about.
Um, Dawn, that was an awesome response.
I can believe that I have my kids mom violate over over even right now out state I’ve reported and reported always seems some.excuse to not believe except papers I even finally had pay 50 for stamp but I called cops everyday one week so now the report can’t be denied or doubted questio ok I had got custody my son in fam c.f. she caused seen one day then got cps case i gave her custody and whatever but kept parental rights and 3 he 3 day a week all then I hmget notice that visitation and custody is as family law stated only family law case is from me taking her dam law and got 49 %custody her 51 ads I let her b sister while at work but always dose way want comes goes with kids hide lies and now reported for sure all week did not see kids and I’m reporting and thinking press charges
So what happen my kids mom she has violated order one week called police everyday to prove no matter way she violated.i know if I just got up bounced use be arrested she had me come over one time bring son batteries she was not there and her grandpa pulled gone threatened to kill me shoot me in face I call police and I go to jail I don’t no way her and her side say but with my past and whatever they tell cops to do it I wonder she such liar really rose murr
That’s a perfect question!! Mothers are given so many chances by the courts but the father’s are always treated unfairly
So untrue I am a mother and have been wronged bc my ex is a dumb narcissistic meth headed gaslighter. Rips my innocent daughter from my arms and when I reach for her he uses her body as a weapon against me. My daughter wants to stay with me always but she had the wherewithal to say mommy stop coming toward us. Her eyes red filled with panic, sadness, and schere terror. That image is burning in my mind. I cannot get it out of my head. All I want to do is protect my Little girl from this maniac but am unable to fix the damage already done to my daughter. As for me I will always have PTSD for the rest of my life. I do not see people the same way anymore. My trust in human kind is gone. I am 34 years old and have been robbed of the innocence I had left. I am now a shell of a person and a victim to the worst crime a parent and child could ever go through— PARENTAL ALIENATION. In Brazil it is illegal. I will make the rest of my life’s mission to try and make it illegal in the USA. Something has to be done to stop or prevent any parent from alienating the other for no good cause. I don’t care if the other parent is a Junkie or a murderer they still should make sure the other parent spends time with their child
I have primary custody of my daughter but me and my ex husband get my daughter every other week. But my ex husband never picks her up or drops her off at our meeting spot his mom and her boyfriend do. I can never get in touch with him by phone. And my daughter told me he moved far away now and she says some weeks she don’t see her dad. And tonight he called me from a Tennessee number. And he has our daughter tonight. In our court order it states that we can’t take the child out of state with out permission from the other parent and she can’t stay with other over night male guest unless they are family but I know she stays at his mother’s how with her and her boyfriend pretty much the whole week by what she tells me. I never know where my daughter is, who’s taking care of her or who’s gonna pick her up or drop her off. But every time I confront him about any of it he denies all of it. If I wanted to keep my daughter until I can take him back to court can I without getting in trouble? And do I have to give her to his mother and boyfriend if my ex husband is not present?
My sons father has visitation rights. The first time he was awarded he left the country for 3 months and didn’t bother visiting.he came in may he saw him 3 times from June to October and when I would go to meet him he would not show and not call me Until night time saying he just woke up. In November he left the country again and returned in May abandoning my CHILd for 7 months. He won’t tell me where he lives or give me an address. Will I get in trouble by the court for withholding him?
My wife’s ex has full custody recently he decided to let one of the girls age 11 move in with us . She is enrolled in school and has been with us now for 3 months and he decided he wanted her for the weekend and she started crying and didn’t want to go so we told him NO she didn’t want to go and we will not force her ….. My question is can we get In trouble or should we force our daughter to go and he will never let her move back with us
Me and my child’s mom have 50/50 custody she in my eyes abandoning my child I won’t give him back I told her I’m taking her back to court can I get in trouble?
Hi my name is Alex I got joint custudy and placement of my Kids my Kids mom not suppose to take my Kids to her house and she continued to do it I already file papers again but what I can do in the mean time
Being a police officer and a divorced dad I can give some advise. Fist and foremost do what’s best for your kids. Don’t play power trips with your ex. There is lots of grey in the law when it comes to this subject. Most of the time these problems occur when you are going through your divorce or are newly divorced. If your ex or soon to be ex violates the court orders, make sure you document all of the particulars and notify your lawyer as soon as practically possible. If you do call the police make sure you have all court documents with you. This is a huge help to the officers when they respond. All of this is very stressful, especially to your kids. Sometimes calling the police makes things worse but that will be a decision you will have to make. Most of the time things get better when the dust settle and everybody falls into a post-divorce routine. Good luck everybody! If you want to know how I got through my divorce check out “Divorced Dad” Kids are Forever, Wives are Not.
Will u read my recent post and let us know what to Do?
Yeah, but what happens if the mother changes her name and your sons name in a sealed name change, and disappears. What happens than? We’ve been searching since 2010! There is a court ordered parenting plan set in place when she did this, I pay child support and have never missed a payment!
Me too Im up to date with child support have not seen my child for 11 years now
much respect given
I have a question. I am a single mom who has made sure that I follow all the placements in the custodial order. I give additional accommodated days and try to work out a reasonable schedule .
he then does not return her, he removes her from school during his non placement time and keeps her for 3 to 4 days( no knowledge of where she is staying) . he has kept her out of state for 2 weeks and is constantly late in bring her back from placement,
also please keep in Mind he does not live in the state in which we reside.
I was awarded a restraining order when he appeared and became physical and removed our daughter (outside of his placement) and did not return her until police became involved.
he is only to remove her from school when it is his placement time (court order) but the school has let him take her with notification to me , where I need to then call around to find out why she did not get off the bus, or where is she located.
So my questions is How can this be resolved if the other party and the courts do not back up there decision and continue to give him leniency ?
My wife’s baby daddy ignored her calls so she wasn’t able to talk to her daughter what should I do? There’s court ordered papers and she can only call between 8am to 8pm….
My ex wife and I were divorced a little more than 6 years ago, she was granted primary custody and I was granted secondary custody. Our custody order is I get to see my two young boys every other weekend. Just over two years ago my ex came to me and said she would like to do one week on, and one week off with the kids and in exchange she would have the child support halted. So for the past two years we have shared custody one week on and one week off. Unfortunately, I never went back to court and had the custody and visitation order modified or got our agreement in writing. Three weeks ago my 11 year old son had to be disciplined for being disrespectful to me and when his mother found out she called the sheriff to investigate. The sheriff came out and found it to be nothing but simple parental discipline. The ex insisted the sheriff arrest me for assault on my son, but when they refused she decided from that point on she was going to go back to our original court ordered custody and visitation agreement. She never told me, but notified the boys school so when I went to pick them up from school, the school would not release them to me. Last weekend was supposed to be my weekend, and my ex only brought my youngest boy and said my 11 year old opted to not come. I had to go to 2 different police stations and finally an officer agreed to write an incident report. So, I have two questions: 1. If we have been sharing custody for more than two years, how is shifting back to the original court order without any notice in the best interest of either of the children? 2. Can my ex restart the child support even after two years of it being off?
I am a police officer and a divorced dad. I truly dread going to these calls. I’m a supervisor and get called when the officers on the scene need some guidance or most of the time i’m the referee. Most of these calls occur when the parties are going through the divorce process and tensions are running very high. My advise is this; Make sure you have all of your documentation on hand. Whoever has the proper paperwork on them usually will prevail. Document everything about the incident, times, witnesses the officers on the scene etc. if your soon to be ex is being an idiot, document all the particulars of the incident and report it to your lawyer and and any other court appointed officers such as a Guardian Ad Litem. As much as it hurts and you feel like there is nothing you can do, Judges are not amused by this type of behavior. You may not win the battle that day, but you may win the war because of your ex’s behavior. Police officers will not force kids to go with a parent against their will, unless there is some evidence of a crime against them. (such as child abuse or neglect) We can’t cuff them and throw them into your minivan. Remember this; all of this behavior will pass, just like a large kidney stone. Always take the high moral road, don’t lie or accuse your ex of anything that is not true. You will look like an idiot! “Divorced Dad Kids are Forever, Wives are Not”
My divorce ruined me. I wasn’t upset about not being with my husband at all although I felt bad for the kids a little, but they were so young and didn’t notice his absence all too much. It took a while until it was final and we had shared custody. 2-2-5-5 schedule. Uugh I couldn’t function without them. I changed drastically and my heart was broken. We have compromised on our schedule here and there but recently I got in trouble, an OWI. Not my firstand to me defending myself I’m not convicted yet for the recent one and hope and pray I get off. Long story there. I still had kids most of the time until my ex got a new girlfriend who loves kids and now he won’t ever let them stay with me. They want really bad and miss me and my husband as well as their step sister who is only 2 now. My kids from previous marriage are 8 and 10. I feel like I could talk to the lawyer or law to make him give me the kids at least every other weekend but I also know he’s an asshole and will make them stay here on Wednesday after school till Friday morning too, and I can’t drive them to their school with is 15 miles away. They are in a different school district! So I feel stuck to let him walk all over me as usual!
L.J. Burke: SOMETIMES the behavior will pass. Other times it will not. I’ve had a parenting agreement in place with my ex for 8 years now. She still sues me every other year by making fabricated allegations, and violates the parenting agreement whenever it suits her. I’ve went to mediation 3 times and she’s never suffered any kinds of repercussions for her actions. She’s now openly violating the parenting agreement and not letting me see my son. Despite the fact that I’m the custodial parent.
I’m going to see my lawyer tomorrow. This behavior hasn’t stopped despite the fact that it’s been nearly a decade, she’s remarried, and had another child with her ex husband. I don’t expect her antics will stop until my son’s 18, and I’m no longer legally bound to her. At which point I’ll get a restraining order against her if she contacts me.
As a country we need to work to change how child custody works.. This article is highlighting one of many issues that we have with our current child custody laws. The custodial parent can deny visitation if even there is a court order which states that the non custodial parent can have visitation and there are no consequences for CONTEMPT OF COURT. Gotta love the double standard here…smh
“Unfortunately, enforcement of a divorce decree sometimes depends on the attitude of your local law enforcement.”
Hi my name is coralys I’m 28 years old and have a one and a half year old daughter. Me and my child’s father was together for 3 years lives ng in the same household with our child. There were many incciedents between us such as argueing and him putting his hands on me and still remain by his side for the sake of our kids. In one occasion we got into arguement and moved out of his house told him I was leaving to Florida to be by my family side. He went to family court and file a court order so I won’t leave buffalo NY with our daughter, so I decided not to leave. So I decided to go back to live with him again witch was a bad idea because it just made things worse , Another incident occurred between me and him causing him to push me down the stairs while I’m 4 moths pregnant with twins told me to get out of his so I grab me and my daughter stuff and letf . I dnt have family in buffalo so I had no support system and no were to stay , I had file a police report on what happens in his home and the next day I had left to Florida. A week later he calls me to see the baby and I tell him I was in Florida so he went to court and had made a police report in buffalo saying I violated the court order. I got court papers few days later from buffalo family court so I decided to go back to buffalo because I was to scared they was going to take my baby from me. So when I got there he serve me wit a paper saying he has temporary custody of her and that she needs to reside with him! I needed to get away from him he was verbally abussing me putting his hands on me putting me down all the time choking me while I’m pregnant with twins I just couldn’t take it anymore I needed my family I needed a support system I was afraid for me and my daughters life! I there anyway I can get my daughter back? He says I won’t get her back since I violated a court order and there no chance I will get her back! Please help me out! Thank u!
you can file a motion to get her back and everytime he puts his hands on you make a police report filing assault charges against him so many of them can turn into prison time or a felony and you should have never went back to ny I made that mistake with my nine year old
If he was doing all that physical abuse you would have had the evidence to put him in jail. Clearly you’re looking for a way to run a scam.
Ok i need help asap . im at the point in my life where my daughter is under my custody but try so hard to keep my family alive. Bad choice i know. Here why and at this piont i dont want to do the wrong thing. So here goes . my daughter mother veronica k. Bennett lost custody of trinity amor whittington in court back in 08/2015. It was me or acs so as a real father and a family man i step up as dad. Now things was rocky all through the battle . i still let her see her daughter. Now Christmas comes about she wants to have my daughter for the holiday cool no problem now she not trying to give her back . fisrt she lied and made me feel like we was going to work out our issuses and get a apartment together . she lied she just want me to let her have my daughter so she can run with her. I swear. Last seen was last night on 86 and Amsterdam in Manhattan ny. She was living on 868 Amsterdam between 102-103 apt 12 h. Im scared she is going to try to kidnap my daughter. I need someone to talk to and help asap # 929 230 2041
My neighbor who is a divorce dad has a daughter that was taken out of the state a number of months ago. The mother wrote a letter to my friend and told him that she and his daughter were going to California because the mothers aging father was ill. She said it was not permanent but it has now been almost a year. My neighbor is on disability and is not financially able to hire an attorney. I am trying to help him fill out a motion to enforce their child custody agreement that was put in place when he was divorced. Can you outline for me how the motion should read to compel the judge to act? Please let me know. My neighbor is a minority and is dyslexic and seems to be disadvantaged by the court system. He is a good father and should be able to see his daughter. Let me know if you can help! Thanks,
In the past few months I have gone from 50/50 everything to 3 days a month and no desision making. While the case is still going I found that my ex wife had been bringing a convicted drug felon near my kids. Twice she was warned by the judge about him and now she is blaming me for all of financial problems because he was all but ordered to never return by the Sheriff. I also learned that she was planing to abscond with the children to another state until this happened. She’s been charged with child abandonment and found guilty of neglect by DCFS. I have no money for a lawyer and legal aid won’t help me because they spoke to her once 2 years ago.
So what if the father moved away to Prescott Az when his daughter was 4 years old never contaced her or paid his child support not a penney I have filed against him several times they can never locate him. His brother is his manager where they work funny right. So now she is 16 years old and he started private messaging her trying to talk her in to moving with him. Him and his brother live in a little camper shell type mini RV. Heavy frinkers and pot smokers. Told his daughter he can get her a medical Marijauna card for any illness she may have but till he can afford it she can smoke his and her uncles. Wrong. How can he have rights when he has not been involved for all these years
I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me so we split, before he left me, we were planing to get married in the future, I loved him so much but I became tired of him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, I went into search for help in the internet, I tried many different spells from almost every place locally as well as online and none of them worked, I almost gave up hope because I thought i will never see my lover again forever, one day i saw some testimony about this powerful spell caster Great zula i emailed him and i asked him to help me bring back my lover and he did A Lover Spell for me And after some days, my lover returned back to me I’d like to say that i got a positive result from (email@example.com) ever since i used his love spell, my lover have learned to appreciate me more and more day by day, and he doesn’t take me for granted,
Hi, I am married for almost 6 years and recently separated from my wife. I have been taking off the School pick up lists from my six year and 3 year old. Now I really would like to get some advice from someone who’s been thru a similar case. It’s been a problem everytime I go over to pick up or drop the kids off. There is always an argument or commotion with this woman. I calmly get in my car & leave to avoid. At the moment I am unemployed and I have left everything at the house. I’ve left most of my things there. basically, now I have my own place and I am actively seeking employment now I need some help I don’t know where to start I have no idea where to start. I like to keep this as civil as possible for some reason she believes that I am coming back but that environment was toxic and no way of me or from me to go back to anything toxic. I have to move on with my life. If anyone has anything to help with please let me know. Please send me an email and thank you.
It’s been about a year and a half since my ex has let me see them but we have joint custody…..
file motion to modify and there are other motion you can file to
Much like Keith’s story, I have a 3 year old son in which I have not seen since he was about 6 months old.
His mother refuses to give me her address & phone number, stating through email that
“She does not want me at her house”
I’ve read about filing a motion of petition, not sure exactly how to do that, & don’t really have money for the fees it cost.
Not trying to lock her up, just want to see my son.
If physical custody is awarded, though it may shock my son for a moment, then that will work too.
I am worried about his environment at this point, so I’m willing to go to any length.
Please help me, with step-by-step instructions on what to do.
I live in Austin Texas, my son supposedly lives in Denton Texas, about 3 and half hours from where I am.
My pockets are empty, what can I do?
you can file a motion to modify custody everything you would want to know is on line about it
Please help. My boyfriend and I planned a holiday with our children. The dates was confirmed by his sons mother verbally. Three weeks before leaving she has only told us his son has to be back a day earlier than we have booked. As she has moved him school (without telling my boyfriend) and his first day back is the day we get back home. We can’t cancel or change flights and physically can not afford over £1000 to come home earlier. The sons mother tells us it’s not her problem and if he’s not back she will call the police and have them waiting for us when we land on the day we arrive. She refuses to communicate also. We have two weeks before we leave, what do we do?
I live in the DFW area and I am the custodial parent of my 14 and 10 year old sons. I am remarried and have a 5 year old son with my husband. My divorce decree geographically restricts the children to remain within my current ISD. My ex husband has struggled to pay child support and is currently in arrears over $9000. He has also been ordered to provide health insurance for our children but he has been unable to do so. The boys have only been able to see their dad 8 to 10 hours a week on Sundays due to my ex’s job. He is also unable to exercise his right to time with the boys during Spring Break, his extended Summer visitation, or any of the other holidays he is entitled to. The boys rarely stay overnight with their dad because he doesn’t have a place of his own and has been staying on one of his friend’s couches. I have adjusted the visitation schedule in order to give the boys the most time with their dad. My dilemma is that I have been offered a career in my hometown that is 384 miles from our current home but still within the state of Texas. This position would provide a substantial salary as well as provide health, vision, and dental insurance for my family. Currently my mother sends me money in order to help me make ends meet since my ex’s child support payments are inconsistent at best. If I could accept this position I would no longer need to accept her generous gift every month. Also, a majority of my extended family including my mother and both my sisters with their families, still live in and around my hometown. My family and I are very close and supportive of each other. I know that my ex husband is unable to provide for our two sons, but I also know he would fight my request to the courts for relocation. I would work with my ex husband in any and every way to ensure the boys maintain a relationship with their dad. I have no hard feelings towards him whatsoever, I just want to do everything I can to provide for my children. My question is: What are my chances of a judge in Tarrant County granting my request for permission to relocate? I have heard horror stories of the non-custodial parent ending up with full custody in the end. If that is even a remote possibility I would not want to risk it. Thank you for any and all advice.
What happens when you try to do what you are suppose to and the ex who hasn’t had anything to do with the kids until a new girlfriend want kids tries to set me so they can take the kids? I live in a small town where the PD grew up with the ex and knows the family. I’m stuck here without help from the PD. Tell me how I am to stay safe against having my children taken, I too supply my kids with a phone but they have been threatened if they call me or any of my family. What the kids tell me is hair raising and scares me. Someday I know my kids will be gone and why aren’t the police held to uphold the court orders?
file a motion for custody and move somewhere else. Don’t do want I did and fall for that trap. they don’t always
I let my kid go to his dad for45 day . we got him a phone so I could know he was OK and hes been gone 5 days and the last two day I haven’t heared from him I texted dad and nothing what should I do
Ok I’m 12 and my mom won’t let me go live with my dad I live in waco texas with my mom my dad lives in west texas on Saturday June 6 I ask my mom can I live with my dad and she said no and I found that I can go live with my dad if I’m twelve with out no questions asked because texas laws state that I can live with a parent with mine own interest but one of my parents have to make a motion and my mom won’t of course but my dad may if I get to see him before the end of summer
Your dad needs to get an attorney but that does not mean the judge will grant you want you want. I now it seems long but you probable would be better of waiting six more years don’t worry it will go fast I promise you that hang in there god will protect you
Question my wife and I are still married but soon to be filling for divorce. If she leave for a trip out of the country no not military and my son and I are not here when she gets back just a town over from where we are now. Will I get in trouble for kidnapping?
BRAD: I know this must be a scary situation your in but if you question it kidnapping then you already know deep down the answer my advice is to try to get along with ur ex the best you can file a motion for joint custody asap. Meet half way to pick up and drop off ask for every other year to calm your child on taxes pay child support and co- parent best you can it is very difficult but it is best for both of you to be in the child’s life ask for every other holiday ask for every other weekend and 2-6weeks in summer. If you have a criminal backround you will probably be started off will supervised visits. Record every thing texts emails phone calls never step out of line do what is in the best interest of your child,l sincerely,
no but you want to file for custody asap before she does. unless you can come up with some kind of agreement
I need to know what to do when the court fails to enforce a court judgement. The motion was dissmissed for one of two reasons. Defendant did not pay court costs or did not give an a way of relief. Why does a white male have to pay to have visitation/ custody enforced? Interference with visitation / custody is a class c felony. Why isn’t anyone being charged with it?
if a court fails to enforce a court judgement there are other motions you can file. Find out those reasons that it was dismissed and fix it. Don’t give up. Trust me us women do to and sometimes we also don’t get to see our kids. Most women don’t go to jail for child support I know its not fair but they are harder on men then they are women.
I have sole legal custody of my son. His father lives in Illinios. He’d like him to come visit. What if I were to give him that chance and he didn’t return him? That would be considered kidnapping correct? I don’t know illinois laws. If his intentions are trying to get custody can he go to the courts and be granted even though I have sole custody?
If you do not have a court agreement he can take your child and there is nothing you can do if I were u I would file a motion for custody in your county and find a good lawyer that way the ball is in your court. Good luck,
anything could happen but he would have to live in Illinois for six months and it there has been anything filed which I’m guessing since you have sole legal custody there it is set with the court then he has to go to that county that all of this has tookin place in. that county has jurisdiction of that minor of course unless he lies to the court. which that is want my ex husband did to me.
my ex is threatning to have me arrested for child abuse tht never happen if i don’t leave her and her new boyfriend alone…this is a bunch of bull….when will the courts see what these women do to us fathers…haven’t seen my kids in over 2 years and not sure where they are or if they are even alive…she had said she would kill them and nothing would happen because she thought she was dying of cancer..so i’m worried
Hi, all. If you want to spend thousands of dollars fighting your ex and then at the end find out that your children really do no want to be with you or go to you, i recommend: STOP!!! Your legal right does not create relationship and your relationship with a child does not obey to legal right. If the child wants to be with you, he/she will, especially when they are older. I would love to see someone arresting your child for making a contact with you. I spent 11 years fighting the worthless legal system we have in this country, and guess what–I am giving up. After thousands of dollars, wrongful accusations, fighting, arguing, traveling, and other stuff, I have decided that it would be the best if I take care of myself first, because if you don’t, no one will, including your children, your ex or the court system. Good luck.
My best advice to all of you is. You dont need a lawyer. Always be first to file. Your xes wallet can only run so deep. Keep taking her to court over and over until she gives in or gets contempt for kidnapping. Woemen are getting away with it because the necessary action is not being aquired. Everyone should learn and read court process rules and start figuring it out correctly.
You think that’s bad, listen to this. My Ex-Wife calls me on the phone and says, come say goodbye to your son. I’m moving to Mississippi. And I said, no your not, we have a child visitation order.
She says, yes I am. I told her I’ll call the police. She said, I don’t care. I called the police, they met me at her house, where my son was. And her car wasn’t in the driveway. We knocked at the door, no answer. Then we heard a car coming down the street. Myself, and two police officers saw a car coming up the driveway of her house. It was her and my 5 yr old son & her best friend girlfriend.
They saw me & the two police officers, and hit the gas and left the scene. One of the officers started running to the patrol car, he said I’ll get her. The other police officer said, let her go. The child might be in the car. She left the state, to Mississippi that night. I thought I’m getting custody
Yah!!!! Only the police officers couldn’t do anything. It’s Civil!!! I’m thinking is felony eluding, child endangerment, & kidnapping. She never got in any trouble. One year later she moved back to town. And she has still gotton away with it. The courts know us fathers aren’t rich enough to take the ex-wife’s to court every time they violate the orders. That’s the way the courts want it. Ask yourself why do all the lawyers want $5000 dollars to help you. It’s a way to discourage good fathers from getting custody of the kids. The system knows the Ex-Wife’s won’t pay their child supports anyway. The systems gender bios. There is no question about it.
it’s actually sometimes the other way around also, unfortunately…Unfortunate for all of us and the kids…. all Good parents need to recognize that the problem is bad Judges and bad Attorneys. They don’t care about the children. I know of a situation where her ex is a complete loser, he does not care one bit what the kids want, they sit quietly while visiting him, he does weird sexual things in front of them, they have told him they do not want to visit him but he tells them he does not care what they want, he refuses to take the teens to their games/practice or other activities while they are “on his time”. He will not take them to the doctors when ill (strep and worse). He is a complete loser with zero regard for the kids… BUT the Judge knows every single bit of this and due to her connection to some Male Coalition (az judge Mead), she ignored everything and ruled for the dad. Kids/Mom are heartbroken, but dad who was abusive and controlling during the relationship, is happy and now trying still to control mom and kids. Mead has given him “power” now in his own mind that he is untouchable. He has already told mom that he is “taking the kids on a trip” that per the Court Order, he cannot. He actually told the kids that “they could call the police but police won’t help them, they won’t do anything to him”. He is completely unstable, a ton of evidence was presented to Mead, but in complete horror she disregarded it and ruled against the kids/mom forcing them to visit. Unreal. She is a danger to children. So trust me dads, these Courts go against Good moms too. and the funny thing is it’s supposed to be “about the kids” but they seem to be the last ones that the Court worries about. Definitely Mead because she actually said that the kids wishes should not be considered, she said that in her courtroom. All Good parents need to stick together, whether male or female. And don’t forget the Lousy ones are the ones ruining it for us (not moms), and these Judges/Courts can’t seem to figure that out.
I’m going through this now, way more details and my ex husband is a known drug addict to the court’s and is currently on Methadone. He’s file d numerous tests but as long as a “passes 2 consecutive tests” he can get his visitation rights back. The judges here in alabama are corrupt! I have 3 other children, and I’m unfit for my one daughter but not the rest….he was mentally, verbally abusive.
Ex wife refusing open communication
My ex wife refuses to have open communication with me as far as our children are concerned. She has primary custody because, according to the state of Florida, I work too much. She refuses to give me her phone number in case of an emergency for our children and the only way she will communicate is through email. 98% of the time she doesn’t even respond. If she does respond, it is a one word answer. In our divorce decree, it says there needs to be open communication and there is almost none. She is also coaching our children into being scared to go with me. She tells them, I am bad, my house is bad, it is dirty, and there are monsters here. All of that is false. I’ve tried everything I can think of and I don’t know what to do anymore. What should I do?
The laws, police that enforce them and even the court is circa 1960s. They favor the woman period. You can give me whatever legal jargon or quote whatever statue. There is a difference in what maybe writing and what is practiced. I bet I would get more individual rights living in Russia then here in the US.
Motion of Enforcement
Hey Mike & Jason,
I dont mean to be pesimistic, because I am going throught the same thing right this second. I wish you were right Jason…but here in Texas you would not be right. Thew cops say “they cannot force her to comply and that you , WILL HAVE TO TAKE HER TO COURT” because it is ‘CIVIL” which is bullchit and of course it will cost you attorney fees and then when you get to court she may only recieve a slap on the wrist if that. I am not saying dont do it…cause I am most definately going to try and do it…but I am saying that it is an uphill battle…but definately one worth fighting.
Hello! How did the motion to enforce turn out? We might have to go to court if she doesn’t let us have visitation. We are also in Texas
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I will make this very easy, go to the courthouse and file a motion to enforce.once they enforce the decree you already have that says either you or your wife can pick up, keep the original and the new motion with you. Have your wife keep a copy with her as well. If she refuses to give you the kids she can simply call the police show them the original order and the new enforcement order. she will have no choice at that point.
My ex has been giving me and my wife problems ever since we got married 4 years ago till this day we are still going through the same thing I’m on child support I pay her 1,200 a month I have my visitation rights and on my court order states anyone can get my kids for me she hates my wife for no reason so when my wife try to pick up my kids for my weekend wouldn’t let my wife get them b/c I wasn’t there but I couldn’t make it I had to work the cops weren’t no help so my wife had to leave without my kids what can I do? Can she even get in trouble for that? She suffers from bipolar/depression so it’s been hard dealing with her I need some help I try talking to lawyers but hasn’t got anywhere please someone help me with correct facts on what I should do?
I think she hasn’t gotten over you being married to someone else. Maybe you have bipolar disorder. You an her made them kids give her a dame break an put yourself in her shoes I dont care if it’s 4 years are 400 years.
My Girlfriend’s Criminal Ex
Both my girlfriend and I have custody agreements with our respective ex’s, but the difference being that her ex is a drug dealer, and my ex is a white-collar manager. I have 50/50 custody in which my son switches houses every week, which has never been a problem, and my girlfriend has an order that basically has no specific times, but states that both parents have to agree to the visitation. It’s never been a problem because my step-son’s father only shows up every six months for 15 minutes, but lately he’s been trying to come around almost every day. He is a very bad influence in our family’s life. He’s connected to gangs and dangerous, but we don’t have the tools to deal with him. I am an academic working at a university, and my girlfriend is a director of a clinic. We work within the law, whereas the father does not. He threatens her and uses intimidation to get around the custody agreement, which we would like to enforce reasonably (give him a Saturday every second week and an evening or something). We are learning that the law only works for people who follow it, and the police don’t care. Even if they did care, in order to enforce the order we would have to spend a fortune for another piece of paper that a criminal won’t care about anyway. This man is going to try turn his son into a criminal like himself. He is a danger to our family. The law doesn’t work. This is why people work outside the law.
That’s what ccw are for get 1 then if he hurts your family handle it
I can’t believe some people
Sorry to hear you all are going through this kind of stuff. I myself am going trough the same thing. I am the mother though. I know this is dads divorce site but I am nothing like the moms you have to deal with. I have been civil with my ex since I left him for beating for the last time. he’s been trying to keep our daughter from me despite a joint custody court order in place. I missed Halloween last night and so many other days because he’s refusing to give me my daughter. he’s filed another molestation accusation on me to try and get full custody easier (my daughter has never been molested, especially in my care) he’s been harassing me for two years. I just want to see my daughter with no problems and live life happily without him. I’m trying to research what I can do. despite all his false accusations which lead to CPS getting involved to interview me (which leaves my name in the system forever now) I am still civil with him for the sake of our daughter. I seem to be the only one who cares for her. I ALWAYS prove him wrong in court cause I have so much proof but it’s very tiring and heartbreaking having to fight for my innocence and him violating court order. What should I do?
My daughter 16 yo, the last time I had visitation was when she was 12yo. Her mother refuses to give me her address therefore I have no idea where me child is located. Because of this I can not exercise my court ordered parenting time. I finally got a lucky break my ex went for a increase of child support in doing so she had to give her address to TAG. Since I have many times contacted the, asking if they had a updated address they mailed me her current address. I sent a letter with copy of the court order stating my intention to exercise my rights. Two weeks pasted it was my court ordered weekend and I went to her rental house at the court ordered time and date. My ex had moved and taken my child with her and this time she has not updated her address with TAG. I need help I have no idea where to turn at this point she is like a ghost. No property in her name, no house phone in her name, no utilities in her name nothing I can’t find her because she owns nothing! Amy. And all suggestions are welcome I have hire two lawyers over the past four years and they all say the same thing find her and it can be I forced. Dear God my child will be an adult thinking I don’t love her enough to co tact her before this is over.
Keith I my self have been through the same exact problem. My sons mom has been moving from city to city with my then 2 year child. we had joint custody and I had visitation rights, but I could not find her to enforce my visitation rights. so what I did was went to family court and filled a petition for enforcement. I also hired a private investigator. it took a really long time finding her but eventually we did. once we got in court I had the option of having her arrested for violating the order of joint custody. I didn’t I took her to court for full physical custody and now I have custody of my son.
You should purchase some facial recognition software then cross reference all the school year book pictures from the last known address and for some years back also since you say she’s been out of your life since twelve and is sixteen now. Look up the schools around the last known address and acquire there year books or access to them online. Most will be accessible, you can even look yourself and look so accordingly to your daughters last known grade, if she had any special needs there would be a more limited amount of results for special needs students. But the facial recognition software is super fast convenient and honestly after looking at anything listening to anything for so long you become blind our deaf in a sense or certain aspects. Also the software will allow you to use whatever pictures you have in your possession as reference pictures to compare to all the potential. If your daughter had any medical conditions, hobbies , talents or love for sports etc. You can do investigating at places that would’ve catered to those things. All this goes for your wife as well. To know a person’s future you first need to know there past. Your wife and daughter may have operated under aliases or Nick names and if you acquire that information it could help you locate them where they are now. If they had any friends or social groups you could attempt to approach them as a family friend or whatever you think to be good. I promise I’m not some crazy person give me some nut job in rice I’m just kind of giving you a free flow of ideas that came to my mind whenever I read your current predicament there are facial recognition software programs out there that are not stupid expensive and good investigating 90 percent of the time will turn up the information
I’m going through the same problem with my ex. She pulls visits because she thinks I’m unstable. She lives very far away and her accusations have no grounding…they are heresay I have sent mean texts but not threatening. I’m really missed and I want to know what my best course of action would be. I haven’t seen my daughter in 2 months. Have a restraining order from another girl can that be used against me?
Words from experience
I can tell you first hand that this is correct. It does depend on the officer, but it also helps to be very calm and collected. I went to visit my kids and I did a lot of researching and verifying with the County PD of where I was visiting. Here are some hints that I feel will really help.
Have a copy of your decree with you. If you have corresponded via e-mail or text, print them out, but make sure that you have been calm and amicable in every aspect of the correspondence otherwise the officer will still see you are on the brink of aggression.
You can call the dispatcher and ask questions pertaining to what your decree says and any other questions that you can think of that your ex may rebuttal with. Cover all your bases. Once you have gotten all answers taken care of, you need to actually talk to an officer prior to picking up your child(ren).
Get to a place just a block or two away from the ex’s home and call dispatch stating you want to have an escort and consult with an officer regarding your visitation and you’re wanting to keep the piece. This is crucial b/c now the officer knows you are wanting to be amicable, calm, collected, and just want visitation with your child(ren).
The police officer(s) will come and just let them know casually what your intentions are and that you want no problems, just want to spend time with your child(ren). Also re-ask questions that you have already asked the dispatcher b/c now you physically have an officer that will be with you. Finally you will both go to get the child(ren) and three things will occur
1 – The mother can deny the visitation and the police CANNOT obtain the child(ren)
2 – The mother has left the house regardless of your information to pick up the kids (must have this proof in writing)
3 – The wife will give you the child(ren)
Here’s is what happens if the first two things occur. The officer may or may not create a police report, but you have still have a case number regarding what had just happened and you can use this to build your case against your ex regarding child alienation, visitation refusal, contempt of decree for visitation, etc. Whatever you wanna call it, it will help in your case for later.
I’m no attorney, or paralegal, but I’m beginning to do my own research and finding ways not to get stepped on and have my kids when it’s my time and escape from the dictatorship of my ex. I enjoyed having my kids and loved them to death that weekend. I hope this helped you.
hello dacc thank you for the info yes it will be helpful im just going trough this hell pleasekeep in touch maybe i could pick ur brain sometime abouyt issues i have noone to really talk aboout or too
Your awesome, thus is the first piece of mind I’ve acquired since my ex wife after abandoning me and our three children 10’9 & 7 three years ago, and she had some guy come from new York where she is and took them from they’re school. Then flew them to new York and nobody would tell me who had my children. It’s been over a month and a half now and I feel so bullied. Even my lawyer will not communicate with me and my lawyer went from “were going to make them pay” and all fire and brimstone immediately after first payment turned into a distant and at times verbally abusive almost spiteful acting woman. I’ve begged her for weeks now to tell me if there is anything I could be doing or should do before our court date in four days. And still no response and I received an invoice from the lawyer charging me $150 per text message all which consisted of one sentence. Let me back track one moment by saying all of this was made possible by a dishonest process server. Who claimed to have seen me and laid the papers on the front porch and left. A week an half later I get a call from the school telling me that my children are being taken by an unnamed person. Since my ex’s fiance had filed an affidavit stating that I burned my son and hit and hurt him. It made me nauseous to the point I couldn’t even read it. I truly have nobody informing me of my rights nor helping me prepare or upholding my rights as a father. Me and my father raised them for over three years without any help from her. Then she is given the power to come and snatch the children from us without any warning. I honestly feel like ending this pain. I feel my children have already been allowed to be brainwashed coerced and manipulated possibly beyond repair. I seen a letter that was in my son’s handwriting stating things that were not just dishonest but were flat out wrong or never happened. Text book slime ball moves of a divorce custody attorney, wish there was a way to name a complaint against the server.
Will this work if I’m not the biological father but been there since he was born and I signed his birth certificate?
No. Unfortunately us step parents have zero authority in these matters. However, in our experience, when my husband’s ex kept his kids on our weekend, we called the police and her boyfriend was there to refuse to give them to us. The police couldn’t enforce the custody decree and told us there was nothing they could do.
If it was her making a support claim, and your named as dad on the certificate, guess what? Yes you would be paying support no doubt. So why wouldn’t any other circumstance as dad be valid? The only thing that could make a difference is a blood test.
If it was her making a support claim, and your named as dad on the certificate, guess what? Yes you would be paying support no doubt. So why wouldn’t any other circumstance as dad be valid? The only thing that could make a difference is a blood test.
Not calling the police resulted in my boyfriend losing his split parenting time with his children, he went from getting them for six months out of a year down to just two…
Hi my name is Frank,and my situation is slightly different due to my son’s grandfather is a ex police officer and a county 911 dispatch officer I was a stay at home dad and for the first 3 yrs of my son’s life I was dad and mom she wanted nothing to do with my son and was always attacking me with hands and weapons I’ve been trying to get to find a way to get help from the law or someone but I’ve been harrast by The local police and the county officers so where do I go, I’m pretty sure that y son has been molested by someone and again I get no help from anyone of authority due to her father’s pull with the local police or dcfs so if you have any information please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org I would so appreciate it!!!! I just want my son to be safe and I truly believe he isn’t in the best of hands with his mother
Call FDLE there your only hope. They are above the local police. Good luck, I’m going threw the same thing.